11. Alaric
Alaric
Fuck.
I sink onto the couch, burying my head in my hands.
I’ve been trying so hard to do the right thing. To keep my distances for Lily’s sake. She’s in a vulnerable place right now, the last thing I want is to take advantage of her.
But seeing the betrayal in her eyes, the way she backed away from me… it cut me to the core. Did I mess up? Did I push her away when she needed me most?
Yesterday’s memory hits fresh: her scent thick with terror, her body trembling. Every instinct in me screamed to protect. I’ve never felt such a visceral pull to anyone. It both trills and terrifies me.
Lily has awakened something primal I thought I’d buried. I crave her presence, her trust, in ways that consume my thoughts.
But I’m her counselor. Getting involved now would cross every line I’ve drawn. Especially not after what happened with—
The memory hits me like a punch to the gut. Someone I failed because I didn’t see the signs in time. Since then, I’ve sworn to always put the needs of the Haven’s residents first.
That’s why I can’t let my feelings for Lily jeopardize her healing. Why I had to recommend another counselor, even though it felt like ripping out my own heart. The stakes are too high.
She deserves stability.
Yet the thought of her finding comfort in someone else’s arms fills me with hot, burning jealousy.
Well… unless they’re my pack…
I rake fingers through my hair, exhaling sharply. I’m too much of a wreck to think straight. But I can’t leave things like this. She deserves to understand why I pulled back, even if doing so tore me up inside.
I stand, grabbing my keys. I have no idea what to say or how to make this right. But I have to try.
I have to fix this.