Chapter 16
Isat on the floor in front of Maisie, her hands in mine while Colt gave her a proper haircut.
The hair collected on the towel beneath her and draped on her shoulders.
When Colt was satisfied, Wyatt gathered the fallen pieces and loosely braided them, setting them aside so we could get to work on the dye.
Maisie trembled like a leaf in the wind. The dye didn’t take long to apply and she kept her eyes closed while the color set, turning her bleached strands dark brown.
“How do you feel?” I asked, passing Maisie a glass of water.
“Like I’m starting to breathe again.”
She looked like it, too. When it was time to rinse, I took her to the main floor bathroom. With her top half tipped over the edge of the tub, I used the hose to rinse until the water ran clear. While I carefully worked in some conditioner, I said quietly, “I’m proud of you.”
“Why?”
“This was really brave.” I massaged her scalp until she was purring, her body melting against the tub’s edge. “I’m sure defiance wasn’t easy for you, but you did it. You claimed something for yourself.”
Maisie shivered as I turned on the warm water again and gently rinsed the conditioner free. Her quiet surrender to my ministrations made my heart pound. I draped a towel over her head, lovingly squeezing water from her hair.
When she peeked at me from beneath the towel, wet brown waves around her face, she looked so much like the girl I’d loved that it stole the breath right out of my lungs.
I checked the urge to lean down and kiss her right then, to see if she was as sweet as I remembered.
Maisie needed to be the one to cross that bridge. If she ever did.
“You look so beautiful,” I whispered.
Her cheeks flared pink. “I feel like me again.”
“Come on, let’s get it all dried and see how it looks finished.”
Colt was ready with the blowdryer and Maisie settled in front of him.
Her eyes closed again, shoulders relaxing as he applied the diffuser, gently gathering the strands to dry.
Wyatt’s gaze on her was so tender, and Colt’s was the same.
They were both so sweet with her. It didn’t seem so farfetched to consider this could be what our future looked like if she stayed.
Obstacles wouldn’t go away, but we could love her. She could love us.
When the blowdryer clicked off, Maisie’s purr was equally loud. At least until she realized there was nothing masking the sound anymore and it stuttered out.
“Thank you,” she whispered, getting to her feet to go check out her reflection in the bathroom. She came back out, her eyes bright, turning her head so the hair flared around her. “It feels so light. I love it.”
A shiver rolled through me.
She went to Colt first, surprising him with a hug. “You did amazing with the cut. Thank you.”
“You’re more than welcome. You look great.”
Maisie stayed in his arms for a few seconds longer than I expected her to, but none of us made a peep about it. She did the same with Wyatt, lingering in his arms before finally moving to me.
“Do you want to burn it tonight?” Wyatt asked. “Or we can wait until morning.”
“Why burn it?” Maisie tilted her head, confused.
“We don’t throw hair away. It holds memories, and burning it releases them.”
“Oh. Then tonight, please.”
“I’ll get the sweetgrass,” Wyatt said, going to collect the decorative box on one of our bookshelves.
We put our coats on and went outside. Bryan noticed us through his window, coming out to join our group.
“Maisie? You look so different.” Bryan’s voice held a quiet reverence, at least before his hasty add on of, “In a good way. Sorry, that probably sounded weird. The cut and color both look beautiful on you.”
“Thank you,” she said quietly.
“You’re more than welcome. I hope I’m not interrupting, I can go back—”
“You’re fine,” Wyatt insisted. “Stay with us.”
We settled around the firepit where Wyatt led us through a smudging and quiet prayer, Maisie accepting both with whispered gratitude and shining eyes.
With the initial cleansing and blessing completed, he set up the smoldering sage and sweetgrass for Maisie to add her braided hair.
It smoldered alongside the herbs, the acrid scent mellowed by the plants.
I held Maisie’s hand as we watched the hair slowly burn away.
It didn’t undo what Paul had done, but now she no longer had to look into the mirror and see the appearance he’d forced on her.
When the hair and herbs had turned to ash, Maisie slipped into Wyatt’s arms. “Thank you for that. I feel a lot better.”
“I’m glad.”
She took a deep breath, a little more tension melting out of her shoulders. “You’ve all been so incredible. I can’t thank you enough for being such a lifeline during this chaos.”
“We’re happy to be,” Wyatt explained. “I’ve honestly been waiting for an opportunity to do something since we first met. You have no idea how relieved I’ve been to finally have you here where I can make a concrete difference in your life.”
Before Maisie had arrived, my life had been close to perfect.
My alphas and I lived on a beautiful property and I loved both of them more than I could say.
From the moment we had all met, they’d always understood me in a way no one else had.
We all craved the quiet and beauty of the countryside, building a home with distant neighbors and majestic bison.
Bryan was a unique situation, but I knew fate wouldn’t have gotten it wrong.
He might be the closest of this pack to understanding what Maisie had gone through, even if it was nowhere near the full scope of the horrors she had endured. We could be what she needed.
I could see it in her eyes, that she was starting to trust them despite the fear and indoctrination that followed her.
She had broken free from one cage, and I knew she was busy hammering away at the door to another.
If we were patient, we would one day get the privilege of seeing her spread her wings.
That was one thing I wanted more than anything. Maisie deserved to fly. She deserved a life where she wasn’t looking over her shoulder, where she could stand tall.
When she finally turned back to me, she relaxed into my embrace. “I think I’m definitely ready for sleep now.”
I smoothed my hand over her new hair, looking at my packmates. “The kids are in their own rooms tonight so Maisie is going to sleep in her room with me until everyone is comfortable. Is that okay?”
“Of course it’s okay,” Colt replied. “Should Wyatt and I go back to the nest?”
“Wherever you prefer.”
“If the kids like their rooms overnight,” said Maisie, “then we’ll be on the second floor going forward. I’m sure you’re all eager to get back to the nest.”
Bryan’s gaze darted away from me. He’d never been in the nest before, though I was certainly willing to let him climb in with us.
My eventual packmate had been good practice with patience.
I wasn’t normally an impatient person to begin with, but it was an odd sensation knowing he was my scent match and being unable to do anything about it.
He didn’t strictly avoid us so I never suffered from distance but I also didn’t get as much as I wanted.
I had no idea if Maisie was a match. That was mostly wishful thinking, but an abundance of patience would be required either way.
It was hard. I’d talked to Cash, and Riley had made huge strides with healing after surrendering to the match, to bonding them and letting the security of their love be a foundation when she felt her own crumbling.
I would give that to Maisie and Bryan if they allowed it.
I trusted fate with Bryan and I had never questioned whether I’d have been happy with Maisie.
When I’d bonded Wyatt and Colt, it had been magic.
Being so in tune with someone I loved let me experience myself from their perspective, to hold on to their steadiness on a level that rewrote my brain chemistry.
Maisie’s bond with Paul probably did the opposite.
She was trying to build her foundation on top of sand with him there to undermine any progress she made.
What kind of difference might it make if I was in there, too?
Would the connection to Paul destabilize me, or my pack?
How strong would he be in the bond? It was silly to worry about when Maisie wasn’t in any emotional position to bond anyone, but I wondered all the same.
I hated that he was in her head. He didn’t deserve access to any part of her, let alone something as intimate as a soul connection.
“I feel better, too,” Bryan said after a few moments of silence. “I know it wasn’t for me, but it was nice.”
“It’s for anyone who needs it.” Wyatt took Bryan’s hand and I couldn’t hide the bolt of delight that struck me when he didn’t pull away. “We can do another for you, if you’d like.”
Bryan toyed with his hair. “I don’t have much to cut.”
“You don’t have to burn your hair for it. We did with Maisie because her hair has a unique connection to her abuse, and hair isn’t something we throw away. You can have a ceremony without it.”
“Oh, that actually sounds really nice. I’d love to. Obviously not tonight…”
“Why not tonight?”
“I don’t want to be a bother—”
“You’re not. I find a lot of peace in the ritual,” Wyatt explained. “I don’t mind at all staying up with you for a while longer. Everyone else is free to go to bed.”
Colt stayed with them and I took Maisie up to bed.
We parted ways only briefly to brush our teeth and change into pajamas.The house was quiet with the kids asleep and the alphas outside.
Maisie was in a nightgown that showed more of her skin than I was used to seeing lately, exposing the bite mark Paul had put on her neck and the nearly faded bruises in the shape of fingerprints on her arms. She didn’t flinch when I traced them.
“I’m sorry I didn’t save you back then.”
“I didn’t give you the chance. Nothing you could’ve done anyway. Paul had a leash on my throat for a lot longer than I even knew, and at least this way only one of us got hurt.” She laid her palm on my chest, gaze meeting mine. “I never left you because I wanted to. I did it to save you.”
My heart pounded beneath her fingertips. “To save me from Paul?”
“From all of them.”
“Who are all of them?”
“Paul, his brother Darrell, his dad, my dad. They made it clear that if I let anyone touch me they would make sure that person never saw another sunrise.”
The horrifying reality of her statement settled over me. She’d surrendered herself to those monsters to protect me.
“Don’t,” she whispered. “I can see it in your eyes. They would have taken me either way, but I couldn’t have survived knowing they’d hurt you because of me.”
I wanted to argue that we could have run together, that if she’d stayed free until she hit her eighteenth birthday there’d have been nothing they could have done, that my parents would’ve torn down heaven and earth to help if I’d known that was why she’d pulled away.
But I didn’t. Saying so wouldn’t enable me to go back in time and change anything.
They’d scared her, and we both knew anyone associated with the Deckers was more than capable of making good on threats like that.
She’d protected me back then without me even knowing and I knew for damn sure, no matter what happened going forward, I was going to be the one to protect her.
I held her like she was the most precious thing in the world. I could never make up for the sacrifice she’d made, but I would never stop trying.
“I love you.” The words tumbled out. “I loved you when we were young and I know now that I never stopped. Having you here is what I’ve always wanted.”
“It’s what I wanted, too. I always wanted a life with you. I love you, too, Carter.” Her eyes glistened as she rose up on her toes, and then her lips grazed mine, a sweetness I never thought I’d get to taste again.