Knot His Reality (Heated #4)

Chapter One

Remington

J ust keep breathing. In and out. Focus on something else besides the rising panic.

Lying on the bed, I stare up at the ceiling in an attempt to calm myself down.

Why did I think signing up for Heated was a good idea again? Introverts are not meant to go on reality dating shows. I’ve made a mistake—a big one since it’s not like I can back out now.

“Remy?” The soft call of my name is preceded by a light knock on the door leading into my temporary bedroom.

When my eyes meet Bree’s, I try to smile but burst into tears instead.

Gods damned omega hormones.

“Oh, Remington. It’s all going to be okay.” Bree rushes over and climbs onto the bed with me. She lies on her side, facing me as she reaches out with a tentative hand.

I don’t hesitate in taking it, squeezing it as I roll to face her. “This was such a bad idea. I don’t know how I let Skylar convince me to come on the show.”

She was one of Evangeline’s suitors last season, and even if it didn’t work out for her, she was adamant it would work for me. She’s one of my colleagues I work with pretty closely, and over the years, she and Cora have become good friends of mine. She wouldn’t tell me what happened that made her pull back from Evangeline, but I know the two of them haven’t given up on finding their pack.

In fact, the day I left, they were going on a date with a pack they met at a meet and greet. I hope it works out for her and Cora. They deserve all the happiness in the world.

Which is what they say I deserve as well, but no one wants to deal with a nerdy, socially awkward male omega in his thirties. They’re all going to want to leave immediately, and I wouldn’t even blame them. I don’t know how to talk to people—especially when it comes to choosing my pack. There’s a reason I’ve put this off for so long.

“It’s understandable that you’d be freaking out when it’s so close to meeting your suitors for the first time. I was. So were Sophia and Evangeline.” Bree’s smile doesn’t slip from her face. “Aren’t you the one who said you’ve been obsessed with the show since the first season?”

I nod. “I have been. I love the show, but that doesn’t mean I’m a good fit for it. You and Tessa took a chance on me because I’m a male omega, and I’m going to screw it up—I just know it. It’s what I do. You can ask my family—they’ll all tell you I’m a disaster.”

She shrugs one shoulder. “It’s true. They did tell me that, but they also told me you’re the kindest person they know, and that you deserve all the happiness in the world. Is your season going to be like any of the last three? No, it’s not, but that’s a good thing. You’re our first male omega—that’s huge. Just like Evangeline, you’re going to be remembered as the first. Tessa and I are all about showcasing that being different isn’t wrong. We wanted you to be our first male omega. You’re not the first socially awkward person we’ve had on the show, either. So don’t go thinking that you’re that special.”

She laughs, squeezing my hand once more, and I know she’s talking about Ezra from the second season. I can’t imagine coming onto Heated if I was autistic. I was rooting for him the entire season. I was sad when he was sent home, but there were a lot of intricacies going on with both Sophia and Chase forming their packs.

Yeah, Bree wasn’t kidding when she said I was obsessed with the show. I’ve spent each season choosing my favorites and who I think each omega would choose. I even set up a fantasy Heated online so others like me could make their guesses together. I’m a little sad that I won’t be able to run it this year, but one of my online friends promises to run it. When I told the forum I was going to be season four’s omega, they lost their shit—in the best kind of way.

See? Not only am I obsessed with the show, but I’m a nerd. If I’m not watching Heated , I’m probably reading, playing video games or a roleplaying game, or working. Because I work a lot.

That’s something my new pack will have to understand. I’m a physician-scientist, which is a fancy way of saying I’m technically a medical doctor, but really, I spend all of my time doing research and running clinical tests.

My area of research? Omega reproduction. But it’s more than that. While I do research on omegas, I also research alphas and betas too. I’m trying to find what is causing the lowering birth rates, not just in omegas but in all designations. Something has happened to cause the decline, but I’m still not sure what it is.

Seeing Sophia and Chase, the first omega pair in years, sent my research into a new area. I’d never thought to research omega pairs. It had been so long since we’d heard of any that I didn’t think it was relevant. Oh, how wrong I’d been.

Sophia, Chase, Evangeline, and Koda have all agreed to help me with my research, allowing me access to the only current omega pair on record and another not paired but drawn to one another in a way I’ve never been drawn to another omega.

In fact, beyond my work, I generally want nothing to do with omegas. It’s nothing personal. It’s just that so many of them are so needy and feel the need to remind me I’m still packless on a regular basis. As if I’m not aware I’m still single.

“Where’d you go just now?” Bree asks.

Blinking at her, I sigh. “I was just thinking about work.”

The upside to that is my tears have stopped, and I’ve managed to push down on the feeling of panic.

More proof that the only place I belong is in a lab.

“Trust me, I understand how hard it is to leave work behind you for two months, but you’re going to have to. Feel free to talk about it all you want, but you’re not going to have access to any of your work until after your heat.”

Part of me wants to pout at that, but I knew what I was signing up for. Three months with no work? Most people would kill for that kind of vacation. But me? I’m already anxious to get back to work, and it’s only been two weeks or so.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I sit up, helping her to do the same. “I’m guessing you came in to tell me you’re ready for me?”

She nods. “Sadly, yes. I’m glad I came when I did since you’re not even dressed yet.”

I wrinkle my nose as I stare at the offending tux hanging from the closet door. “I hate the penguin suits.”

“You’ve made yourself perfectly clear on the matter, but you still have to wear it.” Bree laughs, pushing to her feet. “I’ll wait in the sitting room while you get dressed. I’m giving you five minutes, then we need to have Mindy do something with that hair of yours.”

Climbing off the bed, I head for the closet, taking a minute to look at my chestnut brown hair and shrug. It really is a mess. I’ve never been someone who worried too much about their looks, but I guess being on TV means I have to look my best. As long as they don’t expect me to be the one doing it, I’m down.

I pull the hanger holding the tuxedo off the door and duck into the closet. There are cameras everywhere in the mansion, including my sitting room and bedroom, but not in the bathroom or closet, which is helpful since I need somewhere to dress. I chose the closet because the thing is massive. With most of the omegas being female, I guess it makes sense for it to be so big, but for me, there’s no reason.

Beyond being forced into the penguin suits, I live in graphic tees and jeans or sweatpants. I’m all about comfort, and that’s what I like to wear. Which is why I keep complaining about the tux. They’re far from comfortable, but at least I don’t have to wear dresses like the other omegas. Especially since they also had to wear heels. No one is ever getting me near heels, that’s for sure.

I know I can’t procrastinate any longer, so I quickly undress and pull on the tux. It looks good on me, but that doesn’t make me any happier to be wearing it. It’s black with a white button-down shirt beneath it and a black tie instead of a bow tie. Thank goodness, because I hate bow ties. On occasion, I have to wear tuxedos for work events, and I’ve yet to master tying a bow tie. Now, a regular tie? I’ve known how to do that since I was a kid.

I grew up in a pack, both me and my older sister, Emilia—who is also an omega. I grew up with two moms—one an alpha and one a beta—and four dads. One of our dads is an omega, one a beta, and two of them are alphas. They love both of us and each other. They tried to have more kids but couldn’t.

I went into the field I did, at least in part, because of this. Watching my parents devastated month after month because neither of my moms were pregnant broke my heart. I don’t think they realized that both Emilia and I figured out what was going on, but picking up on people’s distress is something an omega is good at—even if they haven’t revealed yet.

Our parents had been so happy when we both revealed as omegas. They might not have been able to add too many numbers to the overall population, but they did birth two omegas. I think that helped with some of their sadness. After I went off to college, they started fostering kids who needed parental figures. Some of them only stayed for a few months, while others stayed for years.

It helped heal them—providing for others while never forgetting about the two of us. I love seeing them so happy now.

Looping the tie around my neck, I quickly tie it. I told Bree to feel free to pick out whatever she wants when it comes to tuxes. Because I’m not picking out my own torture device, thank you very much. I did tell her I couldn’t tie bow ties, so here’s hoping she just avoided them altogether.

“Remy? You better be dressed.”

I grin and consider giving her a hard time before deciding against it. I don’t need to add any further stress onto her plate. She has enough of her own.

“Just finished,” I call out as I step out of the closet and into the room.

Standing beside Bree is Mindy, who lifts a brow at me before gesturing for me to sit in one of the chairs they’ve set beside my bed. “Remington, I don’t know how you can let your hair get so crazy. I’m going to have to give you a trim—for your beard, too.”

I bite back a smile and drop into the seat, allowing Mindy to fasten a cape around my neck and shoulders. Seeing the beta so frustrated with me just reminds me of my family. It’s kind of nice.

“While Mindy takes care of your hair, I thought we could go over any last-minute questions you might have,” Bree says as she sits across from me. “I’m sure you have them.”

The sound of the scissors opening and closing as she cuts my hair is the only sound in the room because, just like that, my mind goes completely blank. “Uhhh…I…”

Bree laughs. “We’re going to need to remember that you don’t do well when put on the spot.”

“I wish I did. It’s like everything inside of me freezes up and I forget how to be a human.” I go to shake my head, but Mindy hisses and straightens it.

“Do not move your head, Remington, or I’m going to end up having to buzz your head.”

I make a face. I don’t have the head to wear my hair that short. Trust me, I tried it once. No one should see my head with no hair.

Focusing on Bree but making sure I don’t move my head, I sigh as the sound of the scissors starts back up. “Remind me how the first week is going to go.”

“Of course. As soon as Mindy is done with your hair, we’ll head outside to meet Reginald. He’s going to do a quick interview with you. It’s basically a getting-to-know-you interview for the audience. Then we’ll walk you to the driveway. Reginald will do his thing while you meet your first set of suitors. As soon as they’ve all arrived, the five of you will head to dinner. You can spend the evening with them if you’d like, but it’s not required. If you need to recharge your battery, you do that. I don’t want you overdoing it.

“Tomorrow, breakfast will be served at eight. Once you’ve finished, the five of you will go on the first date you planned. The second set of suitors will arrive at five o’clock tomorrow night. Just before that, Reginald will do another quick interview with you to see how you think things went. The first day’s suitors will be interviewed by either Tessa or myself. Then you repeat the process until Saturday night when we’ll hold the rose ceremony.”

I barely stop myself from nodding. “Red roses for if I choose someone for my pack and black if I want to send them home. Lavender for a group date and peach for a one-on-one date. A yellow rose if I want them to remain on the show, but I’m not inviting them on a date for that week. A white rose means I’m inviting them to join me in my suite for the night for sex.”

“It doesn’t have to be for sex, although that’s usually what happens.“ Bree shrugs unapologetically. “It’s what happened for me.”

“And every other omega who’s been on the show.” I roll my eyes. “Probably because we’re all a bunch of horny shits.”

She shrugs again. “You’re not wrong. As for the rose ceremonies, they will always be held on Saturday nights, but you don’t have to wait for rose ceremonies to hand out roses—except for black and red. Those can only be handed out during a rose ceremony. That doesn’t mean you have to wait until Saturday to give those out—all you have to do is let me or Tessa know, and we can set up an extra ceremony.”

Mindy runs her hands through my hair as she works product into it, and I have to fight back a whine. I’ve always loved when people play with my hair. Maybe that’s why I refuse to take care of it myself. Eventually, someone will tell me it’s been too long and take care of it for me. It makes it a whole lot easier on me this way. She steps around me and glares at me. “No more talking. I’m going to clean up your beard. If you talk, you’re going to lose the whole damn thing.”

Which is also something I don’t want. I look like a damn teenager without facial hair. No one wants that.

I sit in silence as she takes the beard trimmers to my face, and within a couple of minutes, she’s stepping back with a smile. “So much better.”

She makes quick work of brushing the hair onto the sheet they put down—which I just noticed—before pulling off the cape.

“Now, that’s what an omega looking for his pack should look like,” Bree says with a grin as the two of us stand.

I shrug, trailing after her into the sitting room. My eyes find the mirror of their own accord, and I’ll admit I look a lot better than I did when I arrived in Rancho Mirage. Bree’s right—I should care what I look like now that I’m actively seeking out a pack.

Or is it like lying to them since I’m terrible at keeping up with it?

Eh, whatever. It’s not like I could’ve been filmed for the show looking as unkempt as I did.

“Any other questions?” she calls over her shoulder as we step out of my suite.

“Good evening, Remington.” Tessa smiles, nodding her head as she joins us. “Are you ready for this?”

“Nope. Not at all.” I bite my lip as panic rises in me once more. Taking a deep breath, I push it away. Now isn’t the time.

The pair of them laugh as they flank me. Maybe they’re afraid I’m going to make a run for it once we go through the doors?

It’s not a bad assumption, considering all of my instincts are telling me to do just that.

“So, questions?” Bree prods as she opens the door.

Right. Questions.

“Birth control,” I blurt.

Tessa hums. “Not really a question, but I see where you’re going with it. In the last week, you’ll be given the choice of if you want the birth control shot. At that point, you might have already chosen your pack, and you all might have decided you want to try to get one of the women—if you choose a woman—pregnant. But if not, you’ll get the shot to make sure you don’t get anyone pregnant. That’s one upside to being a male omega on the show. You can sleep with anyone you want outside your heat and never have to worry about protection. Plus, all the suitors are required to take the birth control shot a week before they arrive on set, so we don’t have any unplanned pregnancies among them, either.”

“I know you didn’t ask, but all suitors were required to take the same blood tests as you before arriving. They’re all clear of STDs and none of the women are currently pregnant.” Bree slides her arm through mine, with Tessa following suit as they lead me toward one of the gazebos, where I can see Reginald waiting.

“And there are only beta and alpha suitors?” Even though both women have assured me of the fact, I just need to be sure. While Sophia and Evangeline seemed to be fine with other omegas during their seasons, I don’t want to deal with what could be a lot of drama. Does that mean I’m possibly missing out on meeting my omega pair? Maybe, but it’s what’s best for me.

Bree shakes her head. “No omega suitors on your season, as requested.”

“Good. That’s good.” With each step we take toward the gazebo, anxiety rises inside of me. I can’t believe I let my sister and Skylar convince me this was a good idea.

My breathing goes ragged as my ears begin to ring, my sight going black around the edges.

I can hear Tessa and Bree speaking, but I can’t make out their words as my world reduces to the cameras sitting on the gazebo, waiting to record me as I make a fool out of myself.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Why did I do this to myself?

Stupid Remington.

“Breathe, Remington,” an alpha’s bark pierces my panic, and I suck in a lungful of air.

I take another deep breath and then another before lifting my eyes to see who just used their alpha bark on me. I sigh when I see it’s Lucas. Of course, Reginald’s alpha is on hand since he’s now running security for the show and the estate.

“I’m sorry, Remington,” Lucas says with an apologetic smile. “You didn’t seem to hear the others speaking to you, nor did you hear me at first. We couldn’t think of another way of breaking you out of it.”

I wave off his concern. “Don’t apologize. I was on my way to a full-blown panic attack, and that wouldn’t have been good for any of us. In fact, thank you.”

Running a hand over my face, I sigh. “Sorry, Bree. Tessa. I told you I was more trouble than I was worth.”

“Shut your mouth right now, Remy.” Bree puts her hands on her hips as she glares up at me. I might not be as tall as Lucas, but I’m still five foot eleven, and I tower over my fellow omega. “There’s nothing for you to apologize for. You did nothing wrong. We knew when we signed you on that you dealt with anxiety. We’re prepared for this.”

Tessa hums her agreement. “If Lucas hadn’t been here, I would’ve barked at you eventually. I’m just not a fan of using mine if I don’t have to. Before we continue, do you need to chat with Finn before starting the interview? We can delay your first suitors if we need to.”

“No, I’m fine.” I snort at the look of disbelief on the faces around me. “Okay, I’m freaking out, but I’ll be fine. If we delay the interview, I’m just going to keep pushing it off, and I’ll never meet my suitors. That’ll mean you don’t have a season four.”

Tessa considers me for a moment. “Fine, but I’m going to have someone get Finn, so he’s on standby. If you freak out again, you’ll speak with him before we try again. Agreed?”

What am I going to do? Tell her no? Unlikely.

“Sounds perfect. Reginald?”

“I’m ready, Remy. Let’s do this.” He steps away from the others, and I quickly follow him onto the gazebo. I sit in the chair he gestures to, trying to smile as he sits across from me. “Stop freaking out, Remy. We’ll do the interview as many times as we need to. The suitors wait nearby and don’t leave until we tell the drivers to head over. If it runs a little late, it runs a little late. We’re fine, I promise.”

Nodding, I take another deep breath and remind myself to keep breathing. That’s essential not only for keeping me alive but for me to speak—which I kind of need to do during an interview.

“Are you ready?”

Not trusting myself to speak, I nod, and he smiles at me.

Fuck, he’s hot when he smiles.

It’s no wonder he’s a sought-after actor. He’s fucking gorgeous.

And he already has a pack with an omega , I remind myself.

The smile doesn’t falter as his attention moves to the camera over my shoulder. “Hello, I’m Reginald Williams, and welcome to the fourth season of Heated .

“As always, we’re glad to have each of you with us—whether you’re a new viewer or a seasoned pro. As with the first three seasons, there’s an omega eight weeks away from their heat. Although, there are a few things special about this season’s omega. The first being he’s our first male omega seeking out his pack. What’s the second thing? He’s a seasoned pro when it comes to Heated . He’s been watching since the first season, and in his own words, he’s obsessed.

“Tonight, he’ll be meeting the first four of twenty suitors. Over the next five days, he’ll meet all twenty of them and spend the following weeks getting to know them until he chooses his pack. Sounds like a dream, right? At least for an omega—not so much for me—but I already have a pack. Now, none of you are here to listen to me talk about myself, so I’d like to welcome this season’s omega, Remington Montgomery.”

As he’s been speaking, his focus has moved from camera to camera, but he’s facing me now. “Welcome, Remington. We’re so glad to have you as our first male non-suitor omega. Why don’t you tell us a little about yourself?”

For a moment, all I can do is blink at him, and I’m afraid this is it. This is going to be where I fall apart and they all realize I’m not the omega for this season.

But Reginald just keeps smiling at me, waiting patiently for me. Somehow, that gives me the courage to speak.

“I’m so happy to be here—although being on camera is hard for me. I’m about as introverted as one can be and putting myself out here like this is scary.” I laugh. “But I’m doing it. As Reginald said, my name is Remington. It’s a mouthful, I know. I tend to go by Remy—even with my family—but I was named after one of my dads’ grandfather. I’m thirty-three and work as a physician-scientist. I can already hear you asking what the heck that means, so let me explain it.”

Making it as simple as possible—because no one wants to hear all the big words or science behind what I do. I know from personal experience—most people’s eyes glaze over real quick. It’s not that people don’t want to hear what I do, they just want it in the simplest words—something I can completely understand.

“So, do you only work with omegas?” Reginald asks, leaning forward slightly.

I shake my head. “No. While my primary focus is on omega fertility, I have to get the complete picture. It’s not just omegas who are dealing with infertility issues—it’s betas and alphas too. Because it’s not only a problem for them, I have to research the overall issue before finding the solution for omegas. I’m hoping that we’ll find something to help every woman on the planet who wants to get pregnant, but only time will tell.”

“It really is an important issue to so many of us.” Reginald snorts. “Okay, to all of us. With the number of pregnancies and births declining each year, our population is shrinking.”

“While that’s true, we’re not nearly to the point of having to worry about it. Currently, the biggest concern is the decreased number of alphas, and especially omegas, presenting each year. If it continues decreasing as it has been year by year, we’re talking about a hundred years—maybe two hundred, if we’re lucky—before omegas are extinct. Alphas would be just behind them because without omegas, there’s no reason for alphas, is there?”

Reginald stares at me, shocked. “Only a hundred years? That’s so soon. What would become of society, of our culture, if that happened?”

“We’d go back to the world that existed before he Event. Essentially, those who lived back then were betas. Yes, there are some differences between the two, but when you boil it down to the basics, we’d go back to a society of betas.” I lean toward Reginald. “That’s why my work, and the work of others like me, are so important. We have time to figure out what’s causing the problem and to find a solution. I promise you, we’re doing everything we can to fix this.”

Reginald nods. “I knew what your job was, but I didn’t realize just how much of an impact what you do can have on our world—on our society. Thank you for explaining it to us in a way I was completely able to follow. I’ve always been terrible when it comes to science, but you made it so easy to understand. It won’t be long until your first suitor arrives, so if there’s anything else you’d like to share with us about yourself, now’s the time.”

I flush at his praise. “I spend a lot of time working because this is something so close to my heart, but I have a few hobbies when I’m not working. I love to read—old fantasy books from before the Event are my favorite. Some of the newer ones are also amazing but thinking back to the world they lived in, it’s crazy to me how they were able to build these worlds so unlike their own. I also love video games, and I’m an avid roleplayer. Pretty much, I’m a nerd, and I won’t apologize for it.”

“Nor should you. Thank you, Remington, for sharing a little about yourself. Your first suitor is arriving in about five minutes, so we’re going to head down to the driveway so we can greet them. Viewers, keep watching so you can meet Remington’s first four suitors. I don’t know about you, but I’m dying to see who steps out of those limos.”