Rose
It’s a gorgeous, sunny Saturday mid-afternoon.
The air smells of sugar from the small cotton candy machine and of something deliciously savory drifting through the open kitchen window.
We’re at Lina’s son’s sixth birthday party in their cute single-story home just outside town, with a sprawling backyard currently overrun by twenty shrieking, sugar-fueled five- and six-year-olds.
A bright blue tablecloth covers a long table with snacks, juice boxes, and other party food for the kids and parents to help themselves.
A smaller round table is overflowing with brightly colored gifts for Harry, the birthday boy, who bounced up and down in his party hat when Ben handed him the present we’d picked out for him at Lucky’s Toy Store.
After that, Harry passed the present to his mom, the two ran off to play with the other kids, and Ben promptly forgot I existed.
Joel had to stop by the fire station to work for a couple of hours, but he’ll be coming later.
Murph said last night that he planned to finish renovating a bedroom instead of coming.
With all the screaming these kids are doing, he probably foresaw this noise and mayhem and noped out to save his eardrums and his sanity.
And Win… well. That’s another story entirely.
Never in a million years did I expect Win to emerge from the house in a big, brown horse costume. When we arrived, he was wearing jeans, sneakers, and a t-shirt. He said he was heading into the house to use the bathroom but would be right back.
He did not say he would be coming back as a horse.
“Ben, don’t jump on Win’s back like that!” I yell.
“It’s okay,” Win says, his voice muffled by his big brown horse's head. “I didn’t feel a thing.” He rears, and Ben dissolves into giggles, clinging onto Win’s light-brown mane and shrieking with laughter.
“He’s really good with kids,” I say to Lina when she joins me.
She hands me a glass of ginger ale that she went inside to get for me. I take it with a grateful smile. My stomach is too delicate to risk digging into the delicious food, but thankfully, my nausea this morning wasn’t so bad that I threw up.
The parents and Lina’s husband, Frank, have gathered in small groups, chatting among themselves.
They were super friendly when I arrived, and her dad, Nico, who catered this party, popped out of the kitchen to hug me hello.
We were talking when Win’s sudden appearance in a horse costume drew me toward him in shocked horror.
I clapped a hand over my mouth to muffle my laugh, unsure whether to intervene when he got on all fours, and the kids took it as an invitation to climb on his back. Ben included.
“Win’s the best,” she says with a grin, taking a sip of soda. “Harry’s always demanding to see him. There are times I genuinely think he likes Win more than me.”
I laugh. “I can believe that. He’s Ben’s best friend. How long have you known him?”
“Forever. He’d always wanted to be a cook, but no one would give him a chance. So my dad did.”
“That long?” My gaze returns to the man giving the kids rides on his back.
“He was so bright and positive. I don’t know that I would have gotten over my mom’s death as soon as I did without him.
I laughed because he made it his mission to make me smile when all I wanted to do was cry.
My dad didn’t have to worry about the diner because Win was always there, volunteering his time, his help, his friendship. ”
“But he isn’t your son’s godfather?”
She shakes her head. “I asked him. My husband and I both did. He said we should have someone with more family to look after our son if anything ever happened to us. He’s an orphan, and he saw it as too big a responsibility to accept.
Frank and I told him it didn’t matter to us, but it mattered to him. ”
My eyes widen. “He has no family?”
“Win lost his parents when he was thirteen. He went into foster care and moved here from Des Moines when he aged out of the system.” She cocks her head. “He didn’t tell you? You guys seem so close, and he’s always been open about what brought him to Rios.”
“No, he didn’t tell me.” I look at Win again. I can’t see his face, but I hear him laughing, even as the kids do everything to destroy his back. “He’s always so positive and cheerful.”
Not that someone who went through heartbreak can’t be positive and cheerful, but it’s hard to imagine Win ever suffered at all. He’s the sunniest person I’ve ever met, always singing as he cooks, no matter how busy it gets, and with a big smile for everyone.
“When he lost the people he loved, it made him look for the positives in life instead of dwelling on what he’d lost. Me, I do the opposite.”
“Me too.” When I lost Simon, I spent so much time thinking about what I lost instead of appreciating what I still had. I never want to make that mistake again.
Nico calls out to Lina from the snack table that he’s busy loading up with more food, and Lina goes to see what he wants. As I sip my ginger ale, my gaze returns to Win, happily playing horse for a bunch of kids.
“You want a go?” Win asks several minutes later, when the kids have run off to get more snacks.
I snort and shake my head. “I’m not getting on your back, Win. I’m too heavy for one.”
Also, there’s a high probability my stomach won’t appreciate it.
“You sure? This might be your last chance. No one has had an accident on me yet, unlike last year, but that could change any minute.”
I can’t help but laugh. “Please tell me you’re joking.”
Win pulls off his horse’s head, revealing a grin. He says to Lina, “Tell her about last year’s party.”
Lina turns from her dad to smile at me, and she isn't the only one. “There was an accident. I paid to have the horse costume dry-cleaned.”
I giggle. “On your back?”
Win’s eyes sparkle. “It was a warm, gradual seepage.”
“No!” I clap my hand over my mouth, laughing. “Stop it. That’s hilarious. Obviously not for you, but…”
Hunching over, I laugh harder when I picture Win’s slow mounting horror in his costume, not understanding at first what he was feeling, then trying to decide what to do about it, and finally taking the costume to the dry cleaner and having to explain what happened.
Minutes later, I’m still laughing as I wheeze, “Sorry. That couldn’t have been fun for you.”
As I brush tears from my eyes, I find Win on his feet, studying me with a soft, warm smile. “Oh, it was hilarious. I laughed about it for days afterward.”
When I’ve finally got all the laughter out of my system, I straighten. Too damn fast. Ooh. My stomach roils, and I swallow to stop all the ginger ale I sipped from coming back up.
Win moves toward me, drops his horse’s head, and steadies me with an arm around my waist. “Whoa, I got you. You okay?”
I look for somewhere to put my ginger ale. “I shouldn’t have stood up that fast. Or drank so much ginger ale. Bathroom?”
Win takes the cup from me and leads the way to the house. “I’ll show you.” He turns to Lina. “I’ll be back. Can you keep an eye on Ben?”
Lina’s face twists in sympathy. “Already watching him. Take your time.”
I look for Ben. He’s sprinting around a tree with a red flag while another kid chases him, and one of the parents shouts out directions. Honestly, I could have left this party minutes ago, and Ben wouldn’t have even noticed.
Win shows me to the white-and-green bathroom, setting my ginger ale down on a side table as we pass through the homey, cozy house in earth tones and deep reds.
As I hug the toilet bowl, I’m grateful I braided my hair so it’s out of my face.
Win disappears for a few seconds, then returns with a small blue towel and a bottle of water.
“Thanks.” I take the towel and water, then sit on the floor with my legs stretched out in front of me. After a small sip of water, I put the bottle beside me and keep the towel in my lap. Who knows how soon I might need it?
Win joins me on the floor and wraps his arm around me.
“You’re brave getting this close to me,” I say.
“Better a gross thing I see coming than one that surprises me,” he says, his voice warm with amusement.
With my head on his shoulder, I smile. I’m almost tempted to get up and grab my cell phone from my white cross-body bag, which I dropped by the bathroom door, just to snap a picture of our legs and capture this strange moment of him in a horse costume from the neck down and me in a cute summer dress and sandals.
“What?” Win asks, noticing my smile.
I point. “Look at our legs.”
He chuckles. “Want me to take you home? I can drop you off, then come back to keep an eye on Ben if you’re not up to all this noise and food smells.”
Yeah, all those food smells definitely played a part.
I close my eyes and lean against Win, breathing in the subtle scent of his coconut shampoo, comforted in a way few things ever do.
“It’ll pass. Hunching over to laugh like that was asking for trouble.
” I open my eyes and brush a kiss across his jaw.
“Thanks, Win. For looking after me and knowing I would worry about Ben being here alone.”
He freezes, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows.
I make a face and lean away. He walked into the bathroom to find me with my head over the toilet not that long ago.
“Um, sorry. Ben thought it would cost him a ride in a fire truck if I threw up over Joel, but I promise I don’t go around throwing up over people.
Just my shoes that one time when the wind turned.
I would never vomit and kiss you afterward. ”
Laughing, he tightens his arm around my shoulders and draws me back against him. Closer. “I’ve had worse on me. Trust me.”
After the story he told me outside, I believe him.
Closing my eyes, I rest my head on his shoulder. We sit in silence for the next couple of minutes. Outside, the distant sound of children’s laughter merges with adult voices. And as my stomach slowly settles, I think about my conversation with Lina.