Chapter 15
My head is still spinning as James pulls his boxers back up and plants himself between me and Zeke on the bed, his arm wrapped gently but firmly around me. Zeke carefully pushes himself up so he's sitting.
"Well, that went better in my head." James sighs, and runs a rueful hand through his short strawberry blond hair.
Seb plonks himself closer to me, huffing out a long breath. "Just saying, if I get to choose how I go, then getting suffocated while eating out my omega's gotta be it."
I burst out laughing. I fold over, clutching my sides, tears cascading down my cheeks, all the while James' arm remains wrapped around me. A cascade of laughter ripples through the room. Seb and Zeke and I are all in hysterics, rolling on the bed.
"I think suffocating Seb and taking Zeke out by the family jewels just might—might—kinda defeat the purpose of the activity!" I choke out, gasping for air.
A snort emerges from behind the hand clapped over Zeke's mouth. But James' arm grows stiff around me. My gaze flicks towards him. His face looks pinched. He's staring off into the middle distance.
I nudge an elbow into his side. "You caught me though, didn't you?" I poke him in the side until he looks down at me, and give him what I hope is a disarming grin. "Thanks for keeping us safe."
"'Course he would. He always does." Seb looks exasperated by the obviousness of that statement.
I feel James' arm relax into me a little. A slow breath eases from his chest. "You sure you're all okay?"
Zeke snorts. "James, all I can think about is that freaking gorgeous omega who's snuggling up to you, and I'm pretty sure the mood is officially in the morgue, but otherwise I'm just fine."
There's an easy laugh from Seb, but James is silent. His mouth draws back into a hard line.
Zeke turns his head to me and fixes me with a stern look.
"And just to be a thousand percent clear, you owe me nothing and I would never be entitled to anything you didn't want to share with me.
My alpha is kind of a needy asshole, and it's my job to keep his assholishness under control.
Just saying, you're beautiful and sweet and you smell amazing and I really liked, um, sitting next to you in the car, and I was really looking forward to, uh, spending time with you and—" he clears his throat, "getting to know you better. "
He glares at James, and flicks his eyes back to mine, almost shyly. His neck and ears have gone bright pink. I can't help smiling. My omega is relieved and smug. She was fretting that maybe Zeke didn't like me very much.
… I don't need perfect words to be worth hearing.
"Hey. I was looking forward to, um, getting to know you better, too." I can feel my face starting to glow. "With clothes on… as well as..."
Seb nudges me. "And here's me feeling like we've barely been introduced."
I elbow him, snorting. "You've literally had your tongue inside me!" He laughs, throws a relaxed arm around me and kisses my cheek with an easy grace, and leans his chin on my shoulder.
"Seriously, though," he murmurs once I stop giggling, "not many people see what you noticed."
My face relaxes. I lean my shoulder back into his chest and rub my cheek against him. He gathers the loose strands of my hair behind me. I'm nestled between James and Seb. It's seemingly transported me to a basil field after a fresh spring shower.
I glance over at Zeke, who's staring at something in the distance in quiet contemplation, his lavender scent soft and muted.
There's a soft click as the door opens. Allen's tousled head emerges from behind the door.
"Is everything okay in here?"
Seb pulls his arm tighter around me and extends a lazy thumbs up in Allen's direction.
"All good. Just some mild asphyxiation and a near miss with a concussion and a testicular crush injury.
Y'know, standard Saturday night stuff." His voice is completely deadpan as he winks at me.
Allen winces. Blushing, James rolls his eyes at Seb.
Leaning back against the bedhead, Seb pulls me towards the crook of his shoulder. I lean against the little hollow where his chest meets his arm. My head fits perfectly.
Idly, Seb strokes my hair. "Ralph okay?" It feels like the most natural thing in the world.
Allen nods, holding a finger to his lips. "Passed out on the couch." I have to strain to hear what he's saying. "I don't think he's been so relaxed in a long time." He's smiling as his eyes flick towards me and Seb, but his expression falters when his eyes dart across James' face. "… is James?"
Striding towards us, he grabs a handful of blankets from the bottom of the bed and wraps one of them around James' shoulders.
James' lips tug at the corners. "Just a bit embarrassed about nearly hospitalizing half the pack. I'm fine."
Although the pinch of his lips suggests he doesn't quite believe James, Allen nods, and swathes another blanket around Zeke, then tucks one around Seb and me.
James is still blushing. Nobody is saying anything.
"One sec," I murmur in Seb's ear. Crawling out of his embrace towards James, I lean against James' shoulder, my chin resting on his collarbone. "I'm glad you're fine. It's okay if you're not, though," I murmur in his ear.
There's a pause in the rise and fall of his chest. His cheek presses into mine.
"Mmmmm." The rumble from his chest makes my torso vibrate.
I let my lips graze across the tip of his shoulder. "Thank you for looking after all of us," I whisper, then sit back on my heels.
The room seems quieter than it did before as I snuggle back into Seb's waiting arms, into the hollow where my head just fits. Seb pulls the blanket back over both of us.
Zeke's curled up against James, his muscular arm wrapped around James' shoulders as they lean against each other.
I shouldn't stare, but I can't help but savour the sight.
I can't remember ever seeing two men, let alone alphas as strong as they are, being so comfortable supporting each other.
A greedy, grasping part of me wants to intrude on their moment, but I stuff the impulse down and force my gaze away.
Allen is staring at me, his mouth half open, his expression unreadable. He takes a hesitant half-step back, then freezes.
Oh. He's upset—I must have hurt his feelings before when I asked him to check in on Ralph.
"Sorry!" I try to keep my voice to a whisper, but it blurts out louder than I meant it to.
I hope it doesn't accidentally wake Ralph.
"I'm really sorry. I promise I wasn't kicking you out before!
Not out of your own bed! And it's not like…
I mean, you're gorgeous…uh, I mean, I just thought… uh, Ralph just looked like he needed—"
The snorting laugh that bursts out of Allen shocks me into silence.
Shaking his head, he pads over to the head of the bed, reaching out towards me and gently turning my face towards him.
"I didn't feel kicked out. I felt supported in doing something I…
I was worried you wouldn't want me to do.
You are very good at noticing…" Those warm brown eyes of his flick away from my face.
There's something that in a poor light might be mistaken for vulnerability that flashes over his face.
Heat steals across my cheeks as I shrug. But a smile slips into the corner of my mouth. "It would be hard not to notice how you look at Ralph—or how he looks at you. All of you. Or how James looks at Zeke, or how Zeke looks at Seb. It's… beautiful." Wistful warmth floods my chest.
Allen lowers himself onto the bed next to Seb. His eyes are locked on my face. "Some people in your situation might be… jealous?"
My lips purse as I glance away. "I mean…
you guys are total relationship goals. I guess…
maybe in the sense that… I don't know. I…
I do wish someone looked at me like that.
Like you look at each other… it's just so obvious how much you all care about each other—and you all seem to really like caring.
"But… uh, I'm really sorry if I'm missing something or overstepping or saying something wrong…
but you… you don't seem to, like, ask for a whole lot of care yourselves?
And it isn't like I had to miss out on anything because you feel that way about each other.
It's like… I dunno. But it just… it feels… right."
I hate that I don't know how to put it into words.
Allen's eyes are crinkled at the corners. His gaze is warm, but there's something tense and brittle lurking behind it.
My teeth graze my bottom lip. Part of me wants to pull him into the cuddle, but… "You can't turn the worry off, can you?"
He shakes his head. "No." A hint of a wry grin tugs at his mouth.
"Are… are you worried he'll wake up and need something?"
His eyes drop away from my face. "He's a grown man."
A quirk jumps into my left eyebrow. "That's not a no…"
The chuckle that escapes from Allen's chest is quiet. But he doesn't say anything.
"You should go back to him… do you want to be there when he wakes up?"
Large, warm fingers slip into my hand, squeezing my palm. Allen's hand brushes across my cheek again. It pulls a blooming warmth through my core.
"I can't wait to get to know you better, Dellie.
" Allen's voice is lower than before, the low rumble pulling my eyes closed for a moment.
He gives my hand another gentle squeeze.
He opens his mouth, as if he's about to say something else; but then he shuts it and stands and walks towards the door.
He glances back at the four of us on the bed, biting his lip, then steps out of the room, closing the door behind him.
There's warmth flooding my chest, but also urgency.
And frustration. But not just the kind I've been riding all night; my omega is tugging at my centre, determined to make sure these alphas understand.
Although I can't put into words what she needs them to understand; and I'm not quite sure I do myself, either.