Episode 9 #2
“Let’s change directions. Your recent comments about the Bravonnian monarchy sparked widespread debate. Did you expect that reaction?”
Finally, the real reason why we’re here. When I’d agreed to this interview, it was mostly because I knew I needed to explain myself to the world in as succinct and quick a manner as possible.
People were reading too much into my comments, or not enough, and I felt the need to clarify my stance. Though I do think I was fairly clear to begin with.
“I don’t think it was my comments that sparked the debate. It was already there. How could it not be? I think my comments gave one side of the debate a figurehead and the other side a scapegoat.”
“Some critics say your remarks were emotionally driven rather than informed. How do you respond to that?”
“It was emotionally driven, without a doubt. But saying I’m not informed is ridiculous.
I am an omega. The new laws in Bravonne greatly limit the rights of the country’s omega citizens.
Sending them back to a time when omegas were viewed as property to be traded and bartered for, and not people.
Of course I’m emotional about that. Of course I’m angry and frustrated.
I may not be a Bravonnian citizen, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be appalled at their treatment. ”
“You’re not a legal scholar or policymaker—why do you feel qualified to speak on these laws?”
“Again, I am an omega. I think that’s all the qualification I need to speak on laws that directly affect my designation.”
“Do you worry that your personal disappointment with the pack influenced your political stance?”
“Not at all. If I’d read about the laws the Bravonnian monarchy pushed through never having met the Ashbourne Pack, I’d have been appalled.
I’d have supported the groups protesting.
The only difference is that now I have a sliver of celebrity and so my words carry weight.
People pay attention to them. It's my duty as a public figure to stand up against injustice when I see it.”
“Viewers of RoyaLove Getaway connected strongly to your vulnerability. Was it difficult sharing such personal parts of your life on camera?”
I frown. Why are we going back to the show? Four questions on the laws in Bravonne and my response to them, and now we’re back to the drama of reality dating? I thought Heather Howle was a bit more hard hitting than this.
Answer the question and maybe she’ll move on to something else. “Of course it was hard. It's never easy to share the tender parts of yourself with people and hope that they’ll be gentle with them. Doing it on an international scale was… terrifying. And foolish.”
“Royal sources suggest the pack acted under immense pressure. Do you feel any responsibility for the position they were put in?”
“Not at all. They agreed to go on the show, knowing who they are and their social standing. They knew they’d have external pressure on them.
His Royal Highness has been raised under those pressures.
I did nothing more than compete for their attention like every other omega there.
If I bear responsibility, so does every other contestant on the show. ”
“Some producers have hinted that your emotional disclosures may have shaped how the pack—and the public—responded to you. Is it possible that what viewers saw as vulnerability could be interpreted as manipulation?”
“It’s possible. But an interpretation isn’t the same as the truth.
I never manipulated them into doing anything they didn’t want to do.
Every emotion I showed on RoyaLove Getaway was genuine.
I have never felt that in order to find my pack I needed to be anyone other than myself.
What would be the point of that? Why would I want them to fall in love with an illusion?
I certainly wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my life being someone I’m not. ”
“How would you respond to accusations that you benefitted from sympathy?”
“I’m not sure what you mean by that?”
Heather’s mouth tightens the slightest bit. “I mean, that your past, your story, created a sympathetic persona and you leaned into it.”
“You’re saying that my life has been so tragic that people can’t help feeling sorry for me?
” Before she can confirm or deny, I shake my head.
“My life hasn’t been tragic. There has been some tragedy, yes.
I’m not wealthy. An accident took my ability to dance professionally, but I also have a family that loves and supports me, that will do anything for me.
I’ve been lucky enough to attend the best omega academy in the US.
I danced for one of the most prestigious ballet companies in the US.
I was asked to be a contestant on a dating show for royalty.
I’ve been very blessed in my life. I think if my life generates sympathy in some of the viewers, if they view me as some sort of charity case, then I think that says more about them than me.
I’d say my life is… normal. Completely and utterly normal. ”
“Normal?” I nod and her lips tighten even further. “Is it true that most of the clothing you wore on the show was designed and sewn by you?”
This wasn’t on the agreed upon questions list, but I don’t see a reason not to answer. “Yes. It's something I’ve always enjoyed doing. And I prefer wearing clothes that are made for me, rather than something off the rack. Especially for special occasions, like the show was.”
“You’ve just announced the debut of your fashion brand, Flo and Behold. What do you say to the people who believe that you only went on the show in order to launch a business?”
I frown at her. “Did I go for the money? Or to launch a business? People should pick one and stick with it. But the truth is, I didn’t go to do either.
The idea for the fashion house came after the show, when people continued to reach out to me about where I’d purchased my clothing.
It appears that there is a demand for my designs and so I’m going to fulfill that demand. That’s just good business sense.”
Heather hums and her eyes flick over my shoulder, no doubt to the producer behind me. When she looks back at me there’s something almost predatory in her eyes. Like she’d hoped I’d give more drama with the questions already asked, and now that she hasn’t received it, she’s been let off her leash.
My stomach tightens. My fingers ache where they’re gripping the arms of the chair.
“I see. And what about the rumors that you collapsed in the Granton airport after leaving the show? That you were rushed to the hospital?”
She blurs at her edges, my vision going spotty. This is something we told them not to ask about. Not on live television. Not when the Ashbourne pack might see.
My lips curve into a forced polite smile. “I’m not sure what you are referring to. I was tired and emotionally exhausted after being on the show and travelling home, but I never… I didn’t collapse.”
Her smile turns sharp and she motions to someone standing behind me. “Are you sure? We have a video, and the woman in it looks remarkably like you.”
Fuck. A fuzzy memory of stumbling through the airport comes back to me, of people saying my name, of lifting their phones to record me. Jude tried to delete every instance where that video popped up online, but we always knew there’d be the chance of it sneaking through.
A tablet is thrust over my shoulder, the video already open. Nausea swells. This is too similar to my last confessional on the show, where Marshall and Lulu tried to warn me I would be sent home that night, and I just didn’t listen.
The videos playing before I have the chance to thrust it back. And it’s not like it matters anyway. I'm sure there's a split screen on the television right now. One side showing the video, the other side showing my reaction to it.
I make myself watch, barely recognizing myself. Pale and stumbling, looking sick or drunk. My family greets me, and down I go like a sack of bricks, just barely being saved from cracking my head on the tiled floor by Tic.
“That’s you, is it not?”
My mouth feels like it’s full of cotton.
The silence stretches for too long and I realize I have to say something.
Something that is believable, that doesn’t even hint at the truth.
“It is. But like I said… jet lag, emotional exhaustion, just being on that show is a lot for an omega to take. I was finally home, safe with people I love. It makes sense for it to overwhelm me at that moment. But as you can see I’m fine. ”
“Indeed. Fine and without a scent. You’re on suppressants?”
All the blood drains from my face.
“I don’t see how that’s relevant.”
She hums, leans back and grins like the cat that got the cream. “What about the hospital visit immediately following your collapse? What do you have to say about that?”
I shake my head. “Nothing. My health is my business and no one else’s.” There’s a thud from the other side of the door, loud enough to make me jump.
“Interesting.” Now she leans forward, a predator going in for the kill, and I know… I just know what she’s going to say. “Don’t you think it’s the business of the Ashbourne pack too?”
“No.” My heart thunders in my chest, so loud I can barely hear her.
“Don’t you think they deserve to know-”
“Please don’t.” My chest goes tight, my shirt feeling suddenly restrictive.
“-that you’re their fated mate-”
“Stop.” I push to my feet intending to leave, but instead I sway and stumble, barely catching myself on the arm of the chair.
“-and that their public rejection of you-”
“I said stop!” My voice cracks on the last word, a sob breaking through.
“-left you with Rejected Mate Disorder?”
And there it is. Out there for the whole world to see, to know.
For the Ashbourne pack to know.
She stares up at me, willing me to answer. My mouth opens, but nothing comes out. Just a harsh panting breath. My vision blurs again.
Another loud thud. The sound of wood breaking.
I take one shaky step away from her, away from the cameras. Black swells at the corners of my eyes, and then I’m falling.