Chapter 19 #2
“I asked carefully,” Rhett argued and I raised a hand as Roan started to round on him. To my utter shock, all three went still and the weight of their regard slammed into me like a fierce wind.
“Rhett…” My voice was hoarse, raw, but I couldn’t seem to smooth it out.
Jay moved abruptly and returned before I finished getting my thoughts together with a fresh, and very cold, bottle of water. I took it gratefully, unscrewing the top and drinking down several gulps.
“Thank you,” I murmured, and Jay nodded.
The world was starting to blur at the edges, there was almost a lens flare effect. Not only was the room filled with my scent, but I could taste theirs now and it was in every single breath I took.
So much for getting past the heat. I blinked slowly, trying to recover where my thoughts went. Oh. Heat. Meds. System reset. Another drink of water then I focused on Rhett again.
“We can worry about this later,” I said slowly. “I can call my doctor tomorrow. She has my records. She—she can of course check.”
“Did she warn you about this?” Roan asked, his intensity so visceral it was like he wrapped around me again and where it had muted the throb beneath my skin before, it only seemed to enhance it now.
“Not this, specifically. She just said…” I tried to remember her exact wording, but the syllables were slipping away before I could fully grasp them. “Fuck…”
The last word came out a groan because Jay had drifted closer, and the rich amber of his scent was so heady, that I swore I was damn near drunk. He smelled so good. They all did really.
“Don’t touch her,” Roan ordered. Who was he talking to? Then I realized my eyes were closed, so I forced them open again. Jay was a half step from me and on one knee, his whole body seemed to be leaning in my direction.
“She’s hurting.” The protest from Jay was remarkable enough to make me focus again.
“Not… pain.” It came out reedy, and winded, like it had taken me a lot of effort to push those words out. “You’re just pretty.”
Jay blinked and he wasn’t alone. Rhett’s lips twitched, but Roan’s entire being seemed to turn to stone.
“You’re all so damn pretty.” There was no hiding the shaking now. Maybe I should call the doctor now? When I couldn’t even think of her name, I had to discard that idea. The men were moving around me, and I frowned as Roan lifted me. “What are you doing?”
“Taking you back to bed,” he said.
“Oh… will we get naked there?” Some part of my mind said I probably shouldn’t have asked that, but the rest of me just threw up my arms with a why the fuck not? My nipples were tight, my cunt slick and pulsing, my body on fire, and Roan hadn’t even touched me for real yet.
Skin-to-skin… that’s what we needed.
I fumbled with the tie of my robe.
Roan let out a little growl. An actual growl. It was the kind of aggrieved sound he only used when he was truly aggravated. The need bloomed inside of me like a gas explosion racing through to consume all the oxygen.
I was going up in flames.
“Stop,” he told me in a voice that was a low rumble, power and need vibrating in the single syllable. I turned my gaze up to him, trying to push away the sting of that rejection.
“You don’t want me?” The question broke free before I could stop it—barely a whisper, more wound than words.
Roan didn’t answer right away. His grip shifted on me as he carried me toward the bedroom, his arms like iron bands, his jaw locked so tight I could feel the tension in him. Every step he took was deliberate. Controlled.
Too controlled.
That only made it worse.
“I didn’t say that,” he ground out at last.
“Then say what you do want,” I whispered, fingers curling in the soft fabric of his shirt. My heart was a thunderclap behind my ribs. I could smell myself—my heat, my need—and beneath it, the way he was trying to cage every shred of his own instinct.
The restraint in him was maddening. Dignified. Terrible.
Because I could feel it—under his skin. The want. The war.
He laid me back down in the bed with excruciating care, like I might break apart if he moved too fast. I wanted to scream. I wanted to pull him down with me. I wanted—
“I want you whole,” he said, voice low and gutted as he leaned over me. “Not like this. Not because your body’s on fire and you’re desperate for relief. Not because you can’t help it.”
“But I can,” I breathed. “I do. I’m still me, Roan. I know what I want. Even now.”
His eyes flared, heat igniting behind steel. For a second, I thought I’d broken through. For a second, I thought—
But then he reached down and tugged the robe back together with a care that was somehow more intimate than anything else he could’ve done. His fingers brushed the hollow of my throat before they moved away entirely.
“You’re not asking me to choose you,” he said, voice rough with restraint. “You’re asking me to take advantage.”
“No,” I said, voice cracking. “I’m not—”
“You don’t understand how hard this is.” His hands clenched into fists again. “How much I want you. But if I cross that line now, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop. Not when you need my control.”
Tears stung behind my eyes, hot and frustrated. “What if I don’t want you to stop?”
He shook his head and stood up straight, stepping away from the bed like distance might help him breathe again. It didn’t. He still looked like he was barely holding it together.
“I want more than this,” he said.
I blinked. “More?”
Roan stared at me like the words were being carved out of his chest. “I want you, Wren. Not your heat. Not the chemical wildfire you’re riding out.
You. The woman who slices through my plans with one line of logic.
The one who watches over all of us like we’re her mission.
The one who never needed me—but still always had my back. ”
Every word landed like a blow. Like a balm. Like both.
“Then why does this feel like punishment?” I asked, curling in on myself as much as the ache would allow. “Why does doing the right thing hurt?”
Roan turned away before I could read his expression again, voice barely audible as he said, “Because I want you too damn much.”
And then he was gone.
He pulled the bedroom door shut behind him like it weighed a thousand pounds.
I was alone again. Only this time, it wasn’t the fever that was burning me alive. It was the truth.