Chapter 29
Violet
Iwake up the next morning exhausted, sore, and dreadful. I don’t want to be awake if being awake means that this is over.
I never want to wake up again if it means that this will be over.
I force myself to sleep in much later than I would like, assuming Adler will wake me up when he’s ready for his morning blowjob, but he doesn’t. He just stays here with me until I’m sure it’s so late that we’ve missed breakfast and possibly lunch.
That’s when I realize that I can’t keep delaying the inevitable. I can’t pretend to sleep forever just so that he’ll let me stay a little while longer.
It seems like he’s doing the same thing, delaying my leave. That or he’s just being considerate since I’m so exhausted from last night. Either way, none of this feels real when I know it will all be over once he knows I'm awake.
I finally pick my head up, seeing Adler staring down at me and somewhat smiling. It’s a beautiful smile, one that I hope I can accurately memorize years from now when I'm alone. “How are you feeling?” He asks.
I nod, biting the inside of my cheek in an attempt to not cry. “Fine.” I answer quietly. I can’t say much else without cracking. I can’t crack in front of this man when I know nothing I could say or do would change anything.
Adler gives a small nod and a look that I can’t decipher comes across his face. “Okay, well how about we get a nice warm bath? It will help your muscles.” He asks.
The composure I had fought so hard for cracks, and I feel a tear leak down my face. I shake my head no, quickly wiping it away, but he saw it and I can’t pretend he didn’t. “No, I should just go. Can you maybe call me a cab?” I ask with a strained voice.
“You don’t have to go yet. Let's take a warm bath, soothe your muscles, and eat a little something first. I’ll bring you home later.” He suggests. I feel his hands trail along my ribs and my waist but the touch hurts.
It hurts because I know it’s the last time, it hurts to know that I’m living on borrowed time and that my happiness is running out.
Well, the false sense of happiness is running out.
None of this was real but that doesn't change how life-altering this all was and how I'll likely be broken for years to come. “I should just go now.” I choke out.
Adler sighs, sitting up in bed and putting his hands on my waist. “I don’t want you to go yet.” He admits.
As sweet as that is, it’s not enough and we both know that. “My feelings for you haven't changed, but I assume yours haven't either.” I point out.
As much as I want to stay, I want him to want me more.
Adler shakes his head no, squeezing my waist in his hands. “It hasn’t, I can’t give you what you want. I’m just not that guy, I can’t be.” He replies.
I feel a new sting of tears and my throat feels tight.
I didn’t expect him to change his mind, but I didn’t want it pointed out to me.
The wound still feels fresh, hurting more than the actual wounds in my body from last night.
Seeing that woman freshly mated and being cared for last night is still seared into my mind.
Adler pulls me into his embrace, both making me wish he’d let go of me and that he’d never let go of me again. “I’m sorry. Do you want me to take you home now?” He asks quietly.
I hate every minute of this, but I close my eyes and nod while he hugs me. I just enjoy one of the last touches we’ll ever have.
“Okay, I’ll go get something for you to wear.” He says quietly.
Adler breaking our embrace stings, but I have to let him go. I watch as he walks into the large walk-in closet and shuts the door behind him. I hear him talking quietly, either to himself or on the phone I’m not sure. I just leave him alone in there while I sit on the bed and reflect on everything.
When Adler walks back out into the bedroom he’s fully dressed. He has on a nice suit like he did the day I met him and he's holding a stack of clothes that I don’t recognize, and a small suitcase.
I watch him curiously as he wheels the small suitcase across the room and sits it in front of the door to his bedroom before approaching me. “I didn’t think you’d want to go home in what you came in, so I picked up a few things.” He admits.
I smile at his thoughtfulness, nodding my head. I don’t even feel like the person I was a month ago is me, the outfit doesn’t feel like me anymore either.
Adler hands me a nice outfit, something business-casual looking. I slide on the comfortable sage green dress pants. They hug my hips perfectly, remaining snug around my thighs before going straight down my calves.
He had bought me a shirt that matches, a snug-fitting white button-down shirt with the same color of green floral printed all over, and a beautiful pair of leather ankle boots.
I don’t know who I’m supposed to be now that the escort life doesn’t appeal to me anymore, but this feels like a nice start.
“The bag is filled with clothes, your money, and a cell phone. Please call me if you ever need anything. Or even if you just miss me.” He says with a small, casual laugh.
I don’t even have a response to that, I haven’t even left yet, and I already miss him. I know I can’t keep that phone and somehow avoid the temptation of calling him and begging him to come back for me and care about me.
I know I’m nothing but a former escort, but I won’t beg someone to love me. I can't let myself stoop that low.
The entire drive back to my house across town is tense, painful, and silent.
Every stoplight that we reach and every side road that we pass my heart begs that Adler will turn the car around and take me back to his house.
Or that he’ll put his hand on my thigh and tell me that he cares about me at all.
It just hasn’t happened. His hands are both on the steering wheel and haven’t left since the last time he shifted gears. He hasn’t touched me at all since the embrace we shared in his bed and it kills me every second of our drive.
I just stare out at the scenery, seeing Hollow Trails in a whole new light now.
I know now that the robberies, the murders, and the disappearances that happen on full moons aren’t a coincidence. I know that it's all the company that experiments on the residents of this town.
I know now that people seeing monsters in the woods at night aren't just the drunk ramblings of townspeople with too much free time but them actually seeing the unit or the creatures that still lurk here in secret.
I also know that I can’t stay in this town. It would kill me to look outside of my window and see the full moon knowing that Adler isn’t coming for me.
Hollow Trails isn’t my home anymore, not that I think it ever truly was. I don’t think I ever had a home until I somehow found myself in Adler’s arms.