Knot So Damaged

Chapter 1

Chapter One

The guy sitting on the couch beneath me is practically drooling as I swing my hips to the music thumping through the club. I have already slapped his hands away from me more times than I want to count.

The only thing that doesn’t stop me from moving on to the next paying customer is the big bills he keeps sliding under the thin string of my thong.

All the girls are on tonight. Fridays are always a full house.

I need to get my bag while I can.

I refuse to walk away tonight without a decent stack in my pocket.

It's not that I am greedy. It's the fact that I need the money.

Two mouths, even if one is still pint-sized, is expensive. Not to mention rent, electricity and water, necessities that have a tendency to break the bank.

I allow myself to drift into the back of my mind like I normally do on nights like tonight. I find it easier that way. To disappear into myself. To allow whatever song is playing to consume me.

My body sways, rolls and grinds. My thong is the only thing covering my body from the multitude of eyes I can feel locked in on my flesh.

I have no doubt in my mind that these men will be getting antsy.

They always want more. Down to our thongs is never enough.

This particular club doesn't have any restrictions in place when it comes to full nudity. In fact, they prefer if we take everything off.

As long as we get paid for it.

They have no problems taking our house fee from us at the end of the night. And a little bit off the top if you are a newbie. I caught onto their slight of hand quickly. Some of the other girls aren’t so lucky.

Hands landing on my hips have me coming back to the present. I frown down at the suit, slapping his hands away from me, again.

“Come on, Cherry. I will give it to you good if you allow me to take you home.”

I snort. I don’t think this dickhead would be able to tell my thigh from my pussy lips right now. During the entirety of our dance, he has been downing drink after drink. Every word that spills from his lips is slurred.

While I know I could get him to pay, I refuse to do full service work, no matter how much the other girls convince me it will be worth my while.

I refuse to allow another person to touch me that way ever again.

Bearing my body to them is bad enough.

Having a man—an Alpha at that—get me to that point of vulnerability ever again isn’t an option. Even thinking about it already has my heart racing.

Never. Fucking. Again.

I refuse to cower. To bare my neck and show submission to a person that would just take advantage of me the moment he can.

I will never be that damaged girl again.

The one that allowed herself to be taken by a pack. Used and abused time and time again.

The greasy-haired guy beneath me continues to try his luck. The questioning slowly becomes more forceful each time I deny him.

The next time I need to slap his hand away, I decide enough is enough.

Stepping off the chair, I give myself a second to get used to the height of the pleasers I am wearing, not wanting to roll my ankle like they threaten every time I put them on.

I put on the fakest smile I can possibly manage, knowing that if I showed how I really felt, it would put me at risk of not having any more customers tonight.

“Thank you so much, Sir. I hope you have a good night.”

As quick as I can manage, I swipe up the scraps of fabric that was my outfit of the night and turn, making a quick exit to the dressing rooms.

I hear commotion behind me but I don’t look back. My heart races with each step I take until I finally make it into the backrooms, my dressing area welcomes me back with the right amount of comfort I so desperately need right now.

I practically fall into the creaky office chair. My form slumps as I rest my head on the bench that is overflowing with a ridiculous amount of makeup, glitter and hair products.

I don’t know how long I stay there for as I try to regain control of my emotions.

Each breath feels as though it is pulled into my lungs by knives. I know that if I don’t get a grip now, I will continue to spiral until I need extra assistance in order to come back out.

I don’t need to give anyone that kind of ammunition against me. That kind of control. Even if some of these girls I am starting to consider as friends.

I refuse to trust anyone ever again. I have well and truly learned my lesson.

It's only when I hear noises coming down the hallway do I lift my head up and pretend I wasn’t on the verge of a mental breakdown.

I paint a fake smile on my face, hoping that it's enough of a disguise. It has done me well over the past couple of years at least.

“Hey babe, how has your night been?”

I smile over at my best friend, Luna, her presence setting a part of me at ease. I sigh as I begin pulling the crumpled bills out of my money bag.

“Pretty good. Mr. CEO tried his luck a little harder tonight but the man pays well.” I shrug, faking nonchalance.

Luna rolls her eyes, sorting her own money into piles. It’s clear she has had a good night based on the amount of big bills she is pulling out.

“You really need to let Ben know that he is getting more forceful each time he comes in, Valley.”

I snort. “You know there is only so much that he can do, Lulu. You and I both know that Ivan doesn’t care how handsy the clients get. As long as his pocket is full of green.”

I know her returning grumble is at both my nickname for her as well as the fact that our boss is a fucking asshole.

The Alpha and his pack are fucking heathens. Their hands are as dirty as their money. This club is just a front for their dealings. Particular customers come in for much more than a lap dance.

We make small talk while we finish sorting and counting. One thousand dollars for a Friday night. Something settles in my chest at the number. Even with the club taking their cut, I know that Amity’s daycare fees will be covered, a portion of rent will be covered as well as food for the week.

Stripping affords me that. Security in the fact that I can ensure my little girl is provided for. That she has a warm, safe bed to sleep in every night.

Because we have both known what it feels like to not have that.

If I have to sacrifice this part of myself for her, I will.

I wave goodbye to the rest of the girls as I make my way out of the club. The streets still crawl with half-cut club-goers that attempt to make their way home. I wrap my wool coat around myself tighter. I keep the knife in my hand hidden in the layers but still at the ready.

At times like this, I wish I had a car of my own.

Little good that would do me though considering I still don’t know how to drive.

Even if I wanted to, they never would have allowed me to learn. They liked being able to keep me locked up and ready for what they wanted from me. Or more so: my body.

That's always the way isn’t it?

A pack of Alpha’s find an Omega that has a scent that appeals to them and they don’t stop until they own them.

There is no choice for the Omega.

There was no choice for me.

I was at their mercy.

I was too young to fight back.

I was filled with too much grief to do anything apart from succumb.

There was no way for me to say no. Not when I was an impressionable young Omega whose parental pack was killed. When the four Alphas who had been after me for years stormed my home and took everything from me.

My family. My innocence. And at times, almost my life.

Alphas are monsters.

A designation that is lost to their primal instincts. They are cruel, abusive and cunning.

I refuse to allow myself to ever be caught in one of their snares ever again.

Being an Omega has felt like a death sentence since the day I emerged. Seeing as it was the same day that saw me catch the interest of them.

Which is why I now do everything in my power to hide what I really am.

To everyone, I am a Beta.

Double doses of heat suppressants, a can of scent-neutralizing spray a day, a lifetime subscription of slick-absorbent panties and the refusal to have a nest, are what see me hiding who I really am.

For four years, I have refused to be anything else but a Beta.

For four years I have been on the run terrified of receiving backlash for killing the Alphas that almost succeeded in killing me.

What they weren’t expecting that night was for me to turn into the reaper, ridding the world of the Alphas that tortured me since my sixteenth birthday.

The sound of footsteps behind me pulls me from my downward spiral thoughts. I instantly stiffen, tightening my hold on the knife still in my hand.

I take a calming breath in an attempt to slow down my heartrate even though I know it is pointless.

The footsteps get louder as whoever is behind me sees the opportunity the now deserted street affords them.

The moment the offender grabs hold of my waist, I am already turning, my knife now visible to the Alpha who reeks of cigarette smoke and olives. It's a revolting combination that I have to force myself to not empty the contents of my stomach over.

I swing my knife, aiming straight for his shoulder, but come up short as he sees the glint of the metal coming, knocking it from my hand.

I hear the clank of metal against concrete and know that I am done for.

The knife was my only line of defence.

While I have spent a good portion of the last four years learning hand to hand combat, I am still useless when it comes to a surprise attack no matter how much I will myself to not freeze.

The moment their hands are on me, it’s like all survival instincts leave me and in its stead is the scared girl I have been running from.

“Nice try, bitch. You think you can get away with teasing me all night long and not follow through?”

It takes me a moment to realize who has me.

Mr. CEO.

I should have known my run from him earlier wasn’t the last I saw of him tonight. I know that I am not that naive to think that men like him are ever content with being told no. It's a word that just isn’t in their vocabulary.