CHAPTER 35
WINDY
Everything is so messed up. I feel their pain as if it’s an extension of them.
I see the way Wolf is walking around as if life has kicked him in the teeth.
He looks hopeless. Sick. I get that more than he knows.
But what I don’t get is the underlying hint of anger I see there, too.
There’s this edginess to him that doesn’t belong, as if something besides Luscious burning down is happening to him.
It all hurts. I know I’m supposed to be mad at them, but I can't bring myself to. Wolf lost everything in the fire. Everything he’s worked so hard for.
Amos was the one who had to see the damage of everything.
He got firsthand experience of what all happened to Luscious.
And I can tell it’s hitting him just as hard as it’s hitting Wolf.
Since we got back to my house, Wolf came in and went straight to my nest. I didn’t say anything about it because I knew he needed comfort, and that was the only way he could get it besides hugging me close.
Being his omega can bring him peace that nothing else can.
But he doesn’t want anyone around him at the moment.
He’s taking a few to get a breather and find out what he’s going to do next.
I just wish I knew why he was looking the way he was looking: the anger residing in his eyes instead of pure desolation.
It’s been hard to put distance between us since they moved in.
Now, I’m so confused. I don’t know if I want to keep the distance there anymore, even though I know I should.
The guys haven’t groveled enough. Nowhere near as much as the book boyfriends that we read about, but that doesn’t mean that every little thing they do for me goes unnoticed.
I see it. I feel it. I love it. For everything they do for me, I keep a mental note.
But ... have they done everything they can do to prove to me they won’t toss me aside if something better comes along?
I know they didn’t reject me because they wanted to, but because they thought they had to.
Now, ever since they moved in with me, they’ve proved just how invested they are.
It’s hard to stay mad at them, but ... I don’t know if I can allow those walls to fall around me again. I don’t want to be hurt.
Finian walks ahead of me into the den, heaving a sigh as he sits down in my recliner. He runs his hands through his hair as he rests his elbows on his knees. He’s lost in thought, but his thoughts scream louder than I ever could.
He doesn’t know what to do.
None of us does.
I’m afraid for Wolf. He may be working in my stead at Carmichael Enterprises, but that doesn’t mean he wants to be there forever. He was only doing it until I got back on my feet after being pepper-sprayed in the face.
“What are we going to do?” I ask, noting this is the longest I’ve been around them since they moved into my house.
And ... I have to say I’m not mad about it, even though I know I should be.
“We let him work this out of his system,” Finian says, rubbing his eyes.
We’d all been at Luscious, watching as Wolf’s legacy burned to the ground around him.
It was hard standing there knowing that there was nothing I could do while Amos ran around helping the firefighters.
It's hard because I know if the same happened to Carmichael Enterprises, I would be in a world of hurt, too. Only, I didn’t build Carmichael Enterprises from the ground up like Wolf did Luscious.
He was there from the time they laid the first pipe to the last plumes of smoke cascaded in the air.
At that moment, the front door opens. Amos walks in with his stuff. I look at him with confusion. He gives me a small smile. “They let me leave because of what happened tonight.”
“Oh. Okay. I’m glad you’re here.” Amos looks at me closely, probably to see if it’s some kind of trick. But it’s not. I really am glad he’s here right now. I don’t know why, but it feels right, and I don’t know how to unpack that. I do know that I want to, though.
“I’m glad I’m here, too,” he says, putting his stuff down next to the side table.
“No. As I was saying, we need to let him work this out of his system before we confront him.” Finian looks wayward and exhausted, like tonight took as much of a toll on him as it did Wolf.
“I don’t want to leave him alone,” I say, peeping down the hallway to my nest door. I chew on my bottom lip, thinking. “Would he want me to ... I don’t know ... hold him?”
“I’m sure he would, but not right now,” Finian releases, sighing. “Wolf isn't the type to allow people to see his pain.”
I nod. “Understandable. But I feel so bad.”
“It’s not like you set the place on fire. Just someone ...” he pauses, flicks his eyes to the window before bringing them back to me.
“Just what?”
He shakes his head. “It's nothing.”
Why does it feel like something? Something big?
I go to walk down the hallway, but before I can get there, my nest door opens, and Wolf walks back out.
His eyes are red-rimmed and puffy. My heart breaks for him.
However, instead of coming to me, he goes to the room where all the guys have been staying while here.
He doesn’t look at me. Doesn’t even acknowledge my existence.
I can’t say I blame him. He doesn’t want to be around anyone right now, especially if he’s breaking down and can’t be the strong one.
A part of me wishes that he would lean on me.
“I think I’m going to go to my nest.”
I walk down the hall toward my nest; each step is heavier than the last. The moment I slip inside, I shut the door behind me and let my back fall against it. The quiet hits me first, and I close my eyes. It’s thick, humming with energy.
Their scents linger with that of the smoke and char. They drift around me like they followed me all the way into my room. Wolf’s Cinnamon scent is the strongest. Even with the faint undercurrent of smoke, I can still pick up their individual scents. They’re warm, comforting.
My body reacts before my mind catches up. Restless energy starts sparking under my skin. After being around them so long tonight, I feel closer to them than ever before. It’s terrifying.
I shift my eight, trying to shake off the feeling, trying to get my thoughts to settle. Tension coils anyway. I press my head back against the door, hard enough that the thump jars something loose in my brain.
“Stop,” I mutter under my breath. “It can't happen.”
I gently rub my thighs against each other.
An ache builds from their scent, the relief that everything is okay, and their proximity.
I need to get this out of my head, but I don’t know how to.
I need to breathe through it, to reset, to remember that letting my thoughts go there won’t lead anywhere good. Not now. Not like this.
But I can’t stop them from leading there. I can’t stop myself from wanting them. Even though they hurt me, I want them more than anything.
I drag in a soft breath, but their scents are still there, wrapping around me and refusing to let go. I stand there, eyes closed, fighting within myself to stay quiet, even as my perfume blooms around me in waves of need.
A soft knock on the door startles me. I step away from the door, take a deep breath to calm myself, and then open the door and come face-to-face with Amos. He looks at me with intense dark eyes. His nostrils flare, and a hungry look falls over his expression.
“Use me.” His voice is rich, deep, and seductive.
My need goes up even more, knowing what he’s asking for and what I want. But ... can I?
“I, uh ...”
He steps forward. “Use. Me.”
There’s something in his voice that has my resolve shattering.
I can't hold back any longer. The need has been clawing at me ever since Amos and the others moved in with me.
My body aches, every nerve ending screams for release, and Amos is here and ready for me.
I grab his shirt, pull him to me, and shove him back against the wall of my bedroom.
My hands press into his broad chest, feeling the heat of him through his shirt.
He's towering over me, those dark eyes locked on mine, burning with raw lust, and that devilish smirk curls his lips like he knows exactly how desperate I am.
“What do you want, baby girl?” he asks, his voice a deep, seductive rumble that vibrates through me, making my core clench with anticipation.
I lick my lips, my whole body shaking from the building pressure, thighs rubbing together to ease the throb. “I want to feel good,” I whisper, the words tumbling out like a plea.
“So do I.”
That's all the permission he needs. In one fluid motion, Amos reaches down, his strong hands gripping my ass as he lifts me effortlessly, taking care to watch my bulging stomach.
I wrap my legs around his waist, clinging to him, my pussy grinding against the hard bulge in his pants as he carries me to the bed.
He sets me down gently on the mattress, but there's nothing gentle about the way he crawls over me, his body caging mine, knees bracketing my hips.
His fingers hook into the hem of my shirt, yanking it up and over my head, tossing it aside without a second thought.
My bra follows, snapped open and peeled away, exposing my breasts to the cool air.
He growls low in his throat, palming one, thumb flicking over the hardened nipple before leaning down to suck it into his mouth.
His tongue grazes the sensitive peak as he tugs, sending jolts straight to my clit.