CHAPTER 38
WINDY
I sit here long after Finian leaves for his office.
I’m here all alone. Amos left earlier. I went into the den to be with Finian.
I’m not sure when he’ll be back, but I know he’s been gone a bit.
I’m surprised they left me alone. Since they moved in with me, I have not been alone.
Either all three are here, or at least one of them.
My phone dings with a text.
REMI: Book club?
Shit. I forgot.
That is today.
We have a standing day each week when we get together and share what we loved about the story that we read this week. Today is that day. Without thinking, I reply that I’ll be there and jump off the couch to get ready.
I shower in record time, barely dry off, and throw on whatever clothes my hands land on first. I’m never late to one of these things, but I’m at risk of being late now. I hate it.
After getting ready, I’m out the door, locking it behind me while digging around inside my purse. I sprint to the car, slide into the driver’s seat, and fire up the engine. Backing out of the driveway, I’m halfway into the street when a sharp, shrieking blast of a horn slices through the air.
I slam the brake. My stomach drops.
I twist around, and there it is—the same sedan from the other night, idling behind me like it’s been waiting. The driver sits stiff and silent, his face carved into something unreadable, eyes locked on me with a cold, dagger-sharp stare.
Heat crawls up my neck. I throw up a hand, roll down my window, and call out, “Sorry!”
My voice sounds too loud in the quiet street, but I hold his gaze anyway, waiting to see if he’ll do anything besides glare.
Before I can become even more uncomfortable, the sedan pulls away and down the street.
Sighing, I pull out of the driveway and make my way toward Sip-A-Brew.
The book this week was amazing, just as I knew it would be.
The love between the main characters is the kind of love I hope to have with the guys one of these days.
I stop short. “When did it become the guys and me?”
I lick my lips and take my bottom lip between my teeth. Now my mind is a mess of thoughts, all of which revolve around the guys and how good they’ve been to me since they came back into my life.
I couldn’t ask for better men. It makes me wonder if I had just come clean from the beginning, if we wouldn’t be further than we are now in our relationship.
I know most of what happened could have been prevented if I had.
Then again, that’s victim mentality, and I’m not about that.
It shouldn’t matter who I am to them, as long as I’m here and ready to accept them.
But we don’t always get what we want. I know I never have before.
I slip through town and make my way toward Sip-A-Brew.
My stomach flutters as I grow closer. Smiling, I give a little bounce in my seat.
I can’t remember the last time I felt this invigorated.
All I know is I feel different with my alphas around me, like a piece of my puzzle clicked into place.
It’s a feeling I have been missing all these months.
Now that I have it, I don’t want it to go away.
I pull into the parking lot and find a spot. I get out of the car and make my way toward the door to get inside. I huddle inside my jacket as a particular burst of cold air basically cuts me in half. It’s frigid. Winter isn’t close to coming; it’s here.
I push open the door, and the bells clink above my head.
I scan the area and find the girls in the back corner, all the way to the right.
A smile blooms on my face as I start making my way in their direction.
When they see me, they all gush and coo over my belly.
Remi and Dayla are the first to get to me.
Jazmyn is much slower, her eyes fighting to stay on us even while I can see her eyes drifting over to the other side of the coffee shop.
“You’re getting so big!” Dayla squeals, rubbing my stomach in awe.
“What every woman wants to hear,” I deadpan, rolling my eyes as I fight smiling down at her.
“I didn’t mean it like that, and you know it.” She barks a laugh. I smile despite myself.
Shaking my head, we take a seat and put my book on the table.
I’m taking off my coat when a tiny gasp pulls my attention to the end of the booth.
My eyes snag on Jazmyn. She’s staring longingly toward the cash register.
I turn around in my seat and see a huge, hulking alpha standing by the register with a tiny omega standing next to him.
His arm is around her shoulders, pulling him into his side.
I look back at Jazmyn and see tears dancing in her eyes.
I want to ask her what’s going on, but I’m getting the vibe that it’s none of my business.
Except … Dayla isn’t the same.
“What’s going on?” she asks, looking back toward the alpha before she brings her eyes back to Jazmyn.
Jazmyn shakes her head. “It’s nothing.”
“But … is it?” Remi asks.
After several moments, a keening whimper sounds from Jazmyn’s throat.
When I look back, I see that the alpha is pressing a kiss to the top of the omega’s head.
His eyes drift over to us, catching on to who I know to be Jazmyn.
She’s the only one who seems to have a response to this alpha.
He doesn’t break eye contact for a moment, but when he does, Jazmyn sucks in a breath and all but cries out at the loss of his look.
“Jazmyn, what’s going on?” I ask, leaning forward as much as I can due to my belly.
She sighs. “He’s my scent match.”
I gasp, jerking around to see the hulking, tattooed alpha leading the omega out of the coffee shop. He doesn’t give a backward glance, which I know hurts Jazmyn even more. Also, the fact that he has an omega on his arm, and it’s not Jazmyn, makes it worse.
“He’s a jerk. He doesn’t know what he’s missing.”
Remi agrees. “Exactly. You are special, and we love you.”
“Yeah, I know you all do, guys. But he’s supposed to be mine. It’s like losing a limb.” Her words tug at a small part deep inside of me.
Here, Jazmyn is witnessing her mate with someone else and choosing them instead of her.
It brings the situation with my guys into focus.
If it were a ‘would-you-rather’ situation, I’d much rather have my mates than not have them.
I’d much rather be with them, regardless of what they have done in the past, than the way they’re acting right now or possibly in the future.
It brings to light that I have the chance to have true happiness, that we can start from the beginning and make a future that is our own.
“I’m thinking about forgiving my mates,” I insert, watching as Jazmyn heaves a grateful breath at having the attention off her.
“Even after everything they’ve done to you?” Remi asks, looking at me seriously.
I nod. “Yeah. I think so.”
Dayla gives me a small smile. “I think you should. The guys have been there for weeks now, and they’ve tried to prove themselves repeatedly that they have changed and they’re ready.”
“I’m not getting any smaller. In fact, I’m knocking on seven months’ door. In two months, Daisy will be here. I’d much rather have my mates with me than do it all alone.”
“Sounds like you have your mind made up,” Remi says, brushing her shoulder against mine as she gives me a smile. “It was hard to even begin to forgive mine, but I’m getting there.”
Remi has had a hard time with her mates since she got matched with them on Select-A-Mate. But she’s working it out. She’s being forgiving and allowing her mates to show her they have changed, and they’re fully invested in mating with her. I’m happy for her. It’s about time.
The chatter wraps around me like a warm blanket.
We’ve been talking for hours without even realizing it.
That’s how it is for us when we get together.
We spiral when it comes to the romance books we devour during the week, and we break out into tangents about tropes, favorite scenes, and the men that absolutely wreck their women.
The kind of men we’d block on sight but are good enough for us in the books.
My coffee has long since grown cold. I keep the cup anyway, my palms curling around the ceramic for comfort while I dish my version of the book to these women.
The cafe light catches on the steam drifting from the espresso machine.
My friend’s laughter rises and falls like the tide.
I feel loose, unguarded. I feel the kind of relaxation that only comes when I’m around the people I enjoy being around the most. Every time one of them reacts to a scene in the book, I laugh so hard I nearly pee on myself.
It feels good to feel good, like I’ve been holding my breath and finally, after so long, I’m able to breathe again.
Eventually, the windows shift from reflecting soft glows in the interior to showing the deep, gloomy blue of nighttime. The sun has slipped down past the mountains without any of us noticing, leaving the world dim until tomorrow morning.
I don’t want to leave.
Not yet.
I want to stay and continue feeling this light and airy.
Wolf’s voice echoes in my head, though. His panic.
The tightness of his voice was like he was so close to fraying around the edges.
He tried to hide it, but I can tell. He was worried about me.
That makes me feel good, but at the same time, it is exhausting.
The truth is, I don’t want to make him worry more than he already does, more than he needs to with all things considered.
I don’t want him to have to worry about me when he has Luscious to worry about.
More than that, though ... I’m ready.
Ready to go home. Ready to face them. I’m ready to say the words out loud that have been sitting quietly inside of me.
I gather my things slowly, almost reluctantly, letting the moment stretch. My friends tease me for being dramatic, but they hug me tightly before I go. Their scents cling to me as I leave the coffee shop. It’s the scent of omega, and it makes me feel complete and whole.
When I step outside, I give myself a moment to breathe. I allow the night’s air to quietly kiss my cheeks. I pause on the sidewalk, breathing in my surroundings, allowing the quiet to settle. My heart beats steadily, sure.
The more I think about it ... the more I know what I want.
I’m ready to give them a second chance.
I’m ready to stop running from the ache of them rejecting me. I’m ready to let them try—really try—to win me back the way they have been the last few weeks. Patient. Persistent. They have been soft in ways I didn’t expect, and alpha to be soft.
I want to sit down with them tonight, look each in the eye, and tell them the truth. I’m ready to be wooed; ready to let myself hope again.
As I start walking toward my car, I feel something warm unfurl inside my chest. It’s something dangerously close to true happiness.
Except that I ever make it inside my car.
I never make it home. I never make it back to my alphas.
Because when I get to my car, a man in a waistcoat comes out of the shadows and presses me up against the side of my car.
Terror enshrouds me. I fight the scream that’s bubbling to the surface as I feel a hard thing poke me in the side.
Tears dance in my eyes as my mouth fishes open and closed.
“What do you want?” I ask, chin quivering as I fight my emotions. “I have money. My car? I’ll give you anything.”
The man behind me leans forward, pressing my stomach harder against the side of my car. A grunt falls from my lips as I try to press back against them to relieve the pressure on my stomach. Fear completely engulfs me.
“Please, don’t hurt my baby.” Tears dance down my cheeks to drip off my chin.
I’m terrified. Completely frozen. It’s not just me that I have to think about anymore. I have to think about Daisy… and my alphas.
I cringe when I feel the man’s hand move my hand away from my face. I shy away from his touch, which only makes him growl low and threatening. I cower, my omega shying away from this alpha behind me. He’s threatening, large, and he’s not to be trifled with.
“Now that I have you alone, let’s play a little, Ms. Carmichael.” He says my name like it leaves a bad taste in his mouth.
My mouth drops open. Shock renders me completely speechless.
I know that voice.
I’ve heard it a million times. It’s slithery like a snake, which is exactly what he is.
What is he doing here?