6. Joel
Chapter six
Joel
Our inner friend circle waits inside, already nursing their alcohol starters and laughing a bit too loudly. I pull out the armchair, so she doesn’t have to climb over knees.
Tracey brushes my collar with her fingers, and whispers for my ears only, “That’s why I love you.”
I smile and ask if I can get her a glass. She beams up at me in a way that reminds me of our first date, making my heart flip flop all over again. Looks like she’s already forgotten whatever that frustration was in the parking lot.
See? This is just a temporary rough patch we’re going through.
Once I’ve got her strawberry Mojito and my beer, I slide into a studded leather couch at right angles to my woman.
Beau, sitting on Rowan’s lap, leans over to slap my chest. “How are those muscles doing, Joel?”
I snort. “Exhausted. Been up in roof spaces all day, and these were some old ones, let me tell you.”
Tracey leans forward. “That’s the current job, but he’ll be installing in those mega centers they’re clearing land for over by North Lakes.”
“No shit?” Harrison leans around his lover. “The huge ones?”
“Yes,” Tracey answers, glowing as if she were the one with the contract. “Exciting, isn’t it?”
Her best friend Belinda flaps a hand. “Let me tell you something else that’s exciting.”
No one could miss the sparkle on her finger under the lounge’s yellow lights. The ladies ooh and ah over the rock and the proposal, and I drop my gaze to Tracey’s hand.
Her ring’s not on her finger.
A chilly sensation seeps through my arms. It’s nothing to worry about, right? She just wouldn’t want to overshadow her friends’ special moment.
“Congratulations, you two.” I lift my glass in a toast.
The two star-struck lovers giggle and lean into each other.
Pete, the third member of Rowan and Beau’s pack, leans on my armrest. “Those were the days, right?”
Yeah, before we got bogged down with the realities of sharing a life and paying bills.
“Proposals and giddiness. And the sex!” Pete winks at me. “We couldn’t keep our hands off each other. Oops, apparently still can’t.”
I follow his gaze to discover Beau not-so-secretly gripping Harrison’s bulge through his pants.
He’s going for the classic oh no, I didn’t mean to put my hand there scenario, God love him.
Those three packed up right after high school, and although he’s beta through and through, Beau has some kind of omega-play kink going on.
Keeping my voice low, I ask Pete, “Is it easier or harder with three?”
He smirks. “Both.”
Trust him not to give me a real answer, but if I’m guessing, I’d say some things were harder, and other things are easier.
“What are you lads whispering about over there?” Tracey asks, adopting a pout. “Leaving me out?”
“How much we love our partners,” Pete covers with ease. He elbows me.
“Yep. Luckiest man alive over here.” I raise my glass toward the others. “Followed by Harrison over there, and then the newly engaged couple.”
We all laugh, but a strange uneasiness coils in my chest. Maybe just because I’m tired and unable to enjoy the merriment.
Or maybe because Tracey and I are monogamous.
Tracey’s never said she wants to add to our pack, but I can’t picture how I’d go sharing her if she did.
These three men seem to make it work, and having a pack must come with some financial advantages.
But to watch another man plunge his cock into my woman? I’m not sure I could handle it.
The only time I did was when Jeremy and I shared a girl back in high school. He and I shared everything back then. Despite his tendency to screw things up, my brother always treated other people right. It was me who botched that relationship.
Maybe that was when we stopped being best friends.
My phone rings. “Sorry,” I mumble while I dig it out of my pocket. Jeremy again. He’s got the worst timing.
“Who?” Tracey asks, her smile deceptively calm.
“Jeremy,” I say. “I’ll call him back later.”
She makes a dismissive sound in her throat, my fiancé none too impressed with my younger twin. It’s not like he does himself any favors, with his constantly changing work and limited dreams. Plus, there was that time he told her she needed to let me breathe.
“Who’s Jeremy?” Beau asks.
“My brother.” I gulp down a big mouthful of beer.
“I didn’t know you had a brother.”
I nod. “We’re twins, actually.”
“Get out of town!” Beau screeches. “Identical?”
I shake my head and Tracey pipes in, “They’re not real close. Jeremy’s a bit of a loose cannon.”
She says that a lot.
Guilt claws up my throat. I, of all people, know Jeremy’s different.
A dreamer, perhaps, but if anything, I’d say a humanist. Somehow, he manages to dodge the crushing pressure of career performance and drift through life with a smile on his face—a feat I could never manage.
Dad says I got all the ambition and left Jeremy all the zen.
Beau rocks forward and pats my knee. “What a shame. I wish I’d been closer to my brother.”
“Sorry, Beau-Beau,” Tracey purrs, leaning over to claim his hand. “We didn’t mean to bring up sad memories.”
Right. His brother died in a swimming accident when Beau was ten.
A chill runs down my spine at the thought of my brother dying. Regardless of not being close now, we did everything together growing up.
A server comes to take us to our table, but the guilt lies heavy in my chest. We’re halfway through starters when Jeremy phones again. He’s used to me not taking his calls, but if he rings three times, something’s definitely wrong.
“I need to take this,” I say, pushing back from the table.
Tracey flashes me a loaded glare. “Can’t it wait, honey? We just started eating.”
Looks like I’ll be paying for this later.
“I’ll be right back.” I stride down the hallway toward the bathrooms as I answer. “Jeremy? What’s up?”
“Hey, Joel.” His deep voice hums with uncertainty.
I lean against the wall and lift my hat to scratch at my sweaty scalp. “Hey. I’m in the middle of something, so is it urgent?”
“Oh, um. Thing is, I had a pretty shitty day and . . .”
“Fuck. Please tell me you’re not calling just because you had a bad day, bro? I’m gonna be in deep shit with Tracey, so let’s make it quick, yeah?” My alpha nature rises, bothered by the disruption and the shit it’s gonna cause later.
A quiet pause. “Is Tracey gonna be upset that I called?”
“Yeah. We’re out for dinner with friends. What’s going on? Are you sick? You sound kinda husky.”
“Well, it’s not a big deal . . . I guess.”
Heels click on the floorboards, and I snap alert to find Tracey stalking toward me, her rigid body blooming with rage. Well, shit.
She stabs a finger at me and then the phone in a silent order.
I nod. “Gotta go man. Take care, you hear.”
My twin makes a weird choking sound, but I’m too busy hanging up.
“For fuck’s sake!” Tracey hisses. “You really plan to take that loser’s call right in the middle of dinner? Let him sort his own shit out, Joel! All he’s good for is using his dick.”
Fuck, the line hadn’t disconnected yet. I cringe. Even if people think that way, I don’t need my brother hearing it.
“Is that really necessary?” I snap. “I haven’t even been gone three minutes.”
Unfortunately, I’m still up in my alpha head, and my words come out loaded with growl.
Tracey cringes away from me.
“Joel!” Her voice cracks and when she glances over her shoulder at me, tears glisten in her eyes. “How could you?”
Fuck me! I grip my alpha dominance and shove it back where it belongs. “Tracey, I’m—”
She chokes on a sob. “You know how much that scares me. And am I really asking too much? It’s good manners not to be on your phone when we’re out with friends but you . . . you just don’t care!”
My Beautiful fiancé bursts into tears and whirls around.
“Tracey!” I chase after her down the hall, but she breaks into a run and dashes right into our friend circle.
Beau’s the first to notice her tears. “Honey! What’s wrong?
She buries her face in his shoulder. “Joel used an alpha bark on me.”
“Not exactly a bark,” I mutter.
Tracey glares up at me with red-rimmed eyes, and a sense of doom settles on me. The labels don’t matter; the problem is I scared my girl. The last thing I want is to chase away another life partner with my carelessness, not when we’ve found so much happiness together.
I crouch down beside her chair. “I’m sorry, Tracey. Really. I didn’t mean to raise my voice at you.”
“Geez, Joel.” Belinda frowns, twisting the ring on her finger. “You know Tracey’s a sensitive beta. You really need to keep it in, especially since you’re not the most easy-going alpha around.”
I’m not sure exactly what that means or why she thinks so, but her words act like a knife in my belly. Even though I’m trying so hard, turns out I’m still a jerk.
Pete eyes me over his wine glass as he sips, his gaze troubled—he probably thinks I’m an asshole as well.
I turn away from their stares and rest my hands on Tracey’s knee. “Babe? Please forgive me?”
She hiccups and nods, leaning down to hug me around the neck. “I’m going to be your wife, Joel,” she whispers, nuzzling into my neck. “Please, make me your priority.”
She’s right. When you commit to a person, you commit for good. That’s what watching my parent’s marriage taught me, as well as learning from my own fuck ups.
I hug her tight, but the rigidness in her body says everything’s not forgotten yet. She’ll want to talk about this later and will probably ask how I plan to keep my alpha under control.
After I’ve dried her tears and climbed back into my seat, holding her hand on the table where everyone can see, I paste a smile on my face and think about ways I can make this up to her.
Because if I don’t, there will be hell to pay.