23. Willow
Chapter twenty-three
Willow
My dream morphs to reality in hazy stages, slipping back and forth like a pendulum until I realize the hand wrapped around my waist is real. While I piece together who I’m sleeping with, I rub the soft white wool on my blanket between two fingers.
My heat lurks like an oncoming bushfire; the heat radiates across me without burning. Yet.
“Hi,” Jeremy murmurs, his eyes closed. “How you feeling?”
Ah. The alpha who puts me at ease. I inhale his herb scent and appreciate how the apothecary aroma suits his healing mannerism.
“Good.” I smile and stretch. “Just as you said, it’s like riding a bike.”
He chuckles, eyes opening to reveal big, gorgeous hazel orbs just a foot away. After a few more sleepy breaths, he leans in and kisses my forehead. “Well, before you get back on and pedal, how does a bath sound?”
I groan. Stretching already told me I’m sticky with sweat and who knows what else and the idea of hot water sloshing over my skin sounds like Heaven.
Jeremy rises. Leaving. My heart lurches and I latch onto his arm, stopping him. I stare at my fingers wrapped around his wrist, the dark hairs on his arm tickling my palm. Why did I stop him?
He leans close, brushing hair from my eyes. “Everything okay?”
“Yes, I just . . . don’t leave me?” I sound pathetic in my own ears, begging him to stay.
I’m an independent woman who doesn’t need anyone, and yet here I am, clinging to a man I only just met. Makes me wonder which is the real version of myself.
Jeremy smiles and slips his wrist loose, turning until he holds my hand. “I promised I wouldn’t go anywhere without your permission, remember?”
Right. He’s not taking my nest away, not leaving as he pleases. Jeremy’s not that sort of person.
He rises without releasing me, lifting me to my feet. My body fits so nicely against his.
“Open up,” he orders, resting a savory muffin against my lips.
The scent of melted cheese and onion makes my tummy grumble. Baked dough, peas, and carrots join the symphony on my tongue, and I moan with appreciation.
“When did you have time to cook?” I mutter, leaning my weight on his broad chest.
Jeremy supports my weight, rubbing my back as I chew. “While you were sleeping. I let Mr Shares out as well.”
Everything’s taken care of. I close my eyes, and the rush of relief saps more of my strength.
Jeremy catches me and lifts me up against his chest. As he carries me across the room, I form a mental image of him living in my house, catering to my every whim and filling the house with the scent of baked goods.
“That’s a pretty smile,” he muses as he sets me down on the rim of the spa bath. Tapping my nose tip, he adds, “Thinking of something good?”
“Mmhmm.” I chew and swallow and as the food slips through my throat, reality runs with it. Whatever I’m dreaming of is impossible. Jeremy isn’t here because he wants to be with me—he’s here because of a contract.
I press my hand to my stomach, feeling thin and hungrier than ever.
“Another?”
I nod and he passes me a tray with fruit juice, two more muffins, and some sliced oranges.
He runs the water while I eat, adding rose-scented bath gel and scattering flower petals over the surface. The bubbles form under the tap and grow upward and out, covering the tub.
Jeremy takes my temperature and types the outcome into his tablet, before helping me into the bath, not releasing my hand until I’m sitting. So attentive. So far removed from anything I’ve ever received from a man who wasn’t a medical professional.
I close my eyes and sink down, the water slowly rising to cover my body. Voices from the past whisper in my ears, their words a harsh contrast to Jeremy’s actions.
“Why’s this taking so long? We’ve got limits too, you know, Willow? Fuck.” Drew stands with his arms crossed over his bare chest. “Do you think we’re studs to be ramming our knots inside you every time you get a bit warm?”
Phil scoffs, zipping his pants closed and wiping his nose on his sleeve. “Game little shit, isn’t she? Sponging off us and then asking for more. I’ve got things to do, so I’m out. Just leave her to it, if you can’t be bothered anymore. Plenty of omegas go through heats on their own.”
“If you suck my dick and beg, I’ll think about giving you a knot.” Drew taunts me, the words shattering my heat-sick heart.
“No.” They all turn to look at Bryson, and I flinch, knowing whatever’s coming won’t be good. Something thumps on the bedcovers beside me. “She’ll do the rest herself. Pick it up, Willow.”
A dildo, the one I bought with prize money won from a magazine competition.
When things started souring between us, I'd foolishly thought the guys might think it was fun.
But Bryson took it the wrong way. The box of toys lived on my bookcase, but it disappeared when they started emptying out my room.
When I stopped deserving my own furnishings.
“Pick it up, omega.”
The alpha bark in his voice leaves me no choice. The bond stings with their malice as their chuckles ring out.
“Now put it in your pussy. Finish your heat on your own.”
"But," I whimper. "It doesn't have a knot."
Their steps echoed up the stairs until the door slammed, shutting me in silence with a fever threatening to devour me.
I gasp and my chest caves. Water quivers around me as I blink away tears. High school was a horrible time. The omega hormones arrived late, right when puberty was already kicking my ass and turning my skin into acne moon rock.
Drew, Phil, and Bryson, the popular guys, the ones all the other girls were chasing turned their attention my way.
The looks, the compliments, made me feel special.
Less awkward. What I thought was love became a trap as I dropped classes in favor of hanging with them, every joy ride making me feel powerful and in control.
Little did I know I was trading my freedom for hell. Oh, it was lovely at first. Until it wasn’t. Until I’d given up everything, willingly shackled myself to them. Once I’d cut ties with my family and all my friends, then the Ilvine pack’s true colors surfaced.
By then, I was completely at their mercy, which disappeared as fast as it came.
Hidden by bubbles, I track my hand across my body to the swirling scars running over my hip and down my thigh. At least I no longer have that bond; it’s the one good thing that came from being struck by lightning a second time.
“Willow?”
Jeremy’s question snaps me free of the memories.
He holds my shoulder. “Is the fever hard to bear? You’re shaking.”
I hold in my harsh laugh and instead latch onto his hand. “Climb in with me?”
His bright smile chases the shadows away.
I watch shamelessly as he strips off his sweatpants and boxers.
His cock hangs over his balls, soft for now but semi-alert.
Maybe carrying a naked omega in his arms did that.
Or maybe it’s my thick scent. His solid thighs flex as he steps over the tub’s edge and settles in, making the water wash over me.
Bubbles fly in all directions, and he manages to get some on his cheeks.
I giggle and rise on my knees to scrape the foam off.
Jeremy looks up at me while I clean his face, as if I’m the best thing since sliced bread. My heart double beats, startling me. I stare down into his green-flecked brown eyes, finding an intensity there I wasn’t expecting. I straddle his lap, pressing myself into his chest.
“If this wasn’t your job,” I whisper, stroking my thumbs across his cheekbones. Our mouths drift closer, barely a handspan apart. Ghost memories of feverish kisses we’ve already shared flare in the space between us.
“If this wasn’t my job?” he echoes, voice husky.
No matter what answer he gives, it’ll break the magic of this moment. I shake my head and press my lips to his. “Nothing.”
There is no beyond, no future. Only this heat belongs to us. The Heat Wave service promises professionalism; I booked them precisely so there’d be no strings.
Once my temperature goes down, I’ll likely never see Jeremy again.
If that’s what I paid for, why does it sting so much?
It’s just the heat talking, I tell myself firmly. That’s what this weakness is. And who knows if Jeremy’s such a wonderful man outside of work. My heart knows that’s unfair, but I can’t help it. If I cling to the idea he’s always this warm and supportive, it might cut me to shreds.
I’m better off taking what I need and running. That’s how people always treated me. And right now, what I need most is to survive this blazing fire creeping through my belly.
I close my eyes and thrust across Jeremy’s lap, feeling his cock go rigid. He holds my waist, panting softly as his arousal comes to the boil. The friction, the water flowing around our skin, and the heightened scents in the bath chase away my hangups.
The alpha pulls me closer and kisses my shoulder, his lips plying my skin and sending fresh heat skittering through my veins.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs. “And I love your confidence. Take what you need, omega.”
A sob catches in my throat. Me, confident?
But with Jeremy, I can be. Maybe for the first time in my life.
I rise up and align myself over his cock, sinking onto it in one stroke.
I need to drive away the complications, treat this like pure sex.
But every catch of his breath and flare of his alpha scent muddies my intentions.
And the sweet things he whispers? They’re stripping away my defenses one word at a time.
“That feels so good,” he rasps as I gyrate over him. “Take what you need, darlin’.”
I cling to his shoulders and ride him, heedless of the water splashing across the floor. Bubbles pop, spraying us with fine soap mist that disguises my sweat. My orgasm breaks along with tears, both rocketing through me with pleasure and pain.
Jeremy cradles my cheeks as I slump into his chest. “Well done. That was so powerful.”
The inner sob wells up and clogs my throat.
“Oh, precious,” he cries, hugging me close. “Cry all you need.”
But he doesn’t know my tears are for him.