21. Nash
Nash
Iwince the second she asks it.
Of course she thinks it's him at the door.
The pain grows every time I come to the conclusion that I'm not what she needs.
It twists sharp beneath my ribs in a way that makes me realize I need to figure out what's going on between us.
The fact that my first reaction is disappointment at Beau's name means I have to admit a truth to myself that I'm not sure how to handle.
I want to be what Nelly needs.
I hear the way she's crying through the bathroom door, and all the selfishness drains out of me immediately.
Mostly because none of that matters. I'm not sure it ever mattered.
I've never been so adamant about helping someone before.
Sure, I help people out in town when they need something.
But if anyone else gave me the kind of guff and heartache Nelly's given me over this last week, I would've found other sleeping arrangements for them.
At some point, I have to acknowledge that I want Nelly around.
I just don't know how to make her happy.
Whether it's pre-heat hormones, stress from the storm, or the fact that we've spent the last few days snapping at each other over every little thing, I can't just leave her in there alone. Her crying shatters something inside of me.
Nelly deserves better than tears.
I draw in a slow breath and force myself to unclench my jaw. I have to be gentle. She's an Omega under my care, and she's scared. It's laced throughout her scent as it pours from behind the bathroom door.
"No," I answer quietly. "It's just me. Would you like me to go get Beau? I'm sure he wouldn't mind being woken up."
She's silent behind the closed door as I look down at the mug of tea I managed to make for her. I didn't know what else to do. I figured she might like a hot mug of tea after a nice shower.
"I made you some tea," I say when she doesn't respond. "You want some?"
There's another long pause before I hear soft movement on the other side of the bathroom. The lock clicks and the door eases open just a crack, allowing steam to spill toward me. And Christ, the red of Nelly's eyes splits my heart in half.
She deserves smiles.
I have to figure out how to give her smiles.
"Tea?" she asks, her voice raspy and rough.
Her hair hangs damp around her face in tangled curls. Her eyes are swollen and glassy, and her cheeks are flushed pink from the shower heat and the crying. A towel is wrapped tightly around her body, clutched in one fist like she's afraid it might disappear if she loosens her grip.
Something in me caves at the sight.
She looks so small like this.
Not loud. Not stubborn. Certainly not the impossible woman who storms through condemned houses with power tools and bad ideas.
Just tired, and overwhelmed, and hurting.
I want to take her hurt away.
"Here," I say as I hand her the mug. "For you."
Her fingers brush mine as she takes it. "Thanks."
"You're welcome."
She sniffles immediately after saying it, and my instincts surge hard enough to make my stomach ache.
Omegas don't deserve to cry.
"I slept with Beau," Nelly blurts.
I'm not sure how to respond to that.
"And then I kicked him out of the house," she continues in a rush. "And he said everything is fine but I don't believe him and Beau smells good and Levi smells better and you smell amazing and now Beau's going to hate me and I'm such a terrible Omega and no wonder no one wants me."
I can't help it. If she shoves me away and slaps me across the face, then I'll endure it. But the instant the words tumble from her lips, my hand is against the door. I ease it open before I pluck the tea from her grasp, set it on the bathroom countertop, and scoop her into my arms.
"My family was right about me," she sobs into my chest.
"Oh, Nelly," I whisper as I bury my nose into her wet hair. "You're overwhelmed right now, and for good reason. Just breathe for me."
"I'm so awful," she hiccups out through her crying. "I'm awful, and I'm difficult, and I yelled at you and ruined your night and your apartment and your couch and—"
I just shake my head. "You didn't ruin anything."
"I'm ruining your life."
That one nearly makes me laugh from sheer disbelief, but I hold it in. Instead, I sway softly side to side, rubbing my hand up and down the towel that covers her back in the hopes she can feel the rhythm.
"I'm sorry, Nash," she blubbers out. "I'm so sorry."
"Hey," I say softly.
"I'm sorry," she sobs against me. "I'm so sorry."
"Hey, you don't have to apologize for being stressed out."
"I'm making everything harder."
"No, you're not."
"I'm acting crazy."
"You're scared," I correct gently. "There's a difference."
She cries harder at that, and it feels like my heart is being thrown into a blender. Every instinct inside of me screams to fix this somehow.
To fix this for my Omega.
Fuck, is that really what this is?
Is Nelly my Omega?
I keep my voice low and steady while I hold her. "You're okay. I've got you, and everything is going to be okay."
I just hold her while she cries. She clearly needs to get it out, but she doesn't have to do it alone. Part of me wants to ask her if she needs me to go get Beau, but the other part of me wants to show her that I'm capable of tenderness.
Eventually her crying quiets into soft sniffles.
"Come on," I say as I reach for her abandoned mug of tea. "Let's get you back to the couch. I'll get your tea reheated."
"O-o-o—kay."
I keep one hand at her back while guiding her down the hallway. She's still wrapped in the towel and dripping onto the carpet, but I couldn't care less. All I care about is getting her settled again. All I care about is making sure the tears in her eyes don't return.
I help her ease down into the nest while she clutches her towel in both hands.
"There you go. I'll go warm up your tea and keep my back to you. You can get changed into whatever you need."
She peers up at me. "Nash?"
I'm already headed to the kitchen. "Yeah?"
"Thanks."
I smile softly to myself as I stand at the stove. "Nothing to thank me for. I'm sorry that being here has been so stressful for you."
I hear her shuffling around while the storm continues to rage outside.
It's starting to become background noise for me, but I know it's not for her.
I never would've taken Nelly for the type to be scared of thunderstorms. But now that I know she is, it's hard to leave her out here by herself to push through it.
As I heat her tea, the scent she threads throughout my apartment changes. The acrid edge of its soured fear morphs into something softer. The acidity is gone and the sweetness of her vanilla ratchets up until I recognize it as comfort.
I decide to make her a bagel with cream cheese as well before I carry her reheated tea to the couch.
"Here," I say as I place everything down onto the coffee table. "Wasn't sure if you were hungry, so I made you a little something."
Her smile, however small, makes me smile. "Thanks, Nash. I really appreciate it."
I straighten up. "You need anything else?"
She stands and shakes her head as she looks around on the couch for something. I almost ask her what she's looking for, but when she reaches for the stuffed animal I got her, my smile widens.
"Sorry, didn't want this to get crushed," she says as she turns back around.
Her gaze meets mine and I'm painfully aware of how close we're standing. Her body heat batters against me while her sweet scent wafts up my nostrils. She seems calmer now. Tears no longer glisten in her eyes.
"I'm glad you like it," I say.
I expect her to turn away from me. Or to reach down for the food. But instead, she just stands there, staring up at me. I wait for her command. For her to tell me to stop staring and go away. But all she does is stare back.
Then her attention drops to my mouth.
The realization hits me like a freight train. My pulse kicks against my own scent glands. Without thinking, my tongue darts out to wet my lips, and her cheeks redden.
"I, um…" she whispers.
I swallow thickly. "Take your time. I'm in no rush."
Thunder cracks across the sky and she yelps. She jumps toward me, burrowing against my bare chest, and my hands fly to her back. I hold her close to me, feeling her shiver, and my brain completely blanks.
She feels so good in my arms.
Fucking hell, how did I not see this before?
That Nelly is my Omega?
"Nash," she whispers.
I run my fingers through her wet hair. "Yes, Nelly?"
She nuzzles into my chest hair. "You smell really good."
"So do you."
She tilts her head back up as my fingers tangle into her wet curls.
Her gaze slides along my face, and I take a snapshot of the moment.
She looks so delicate in my arms, like a gust of wind would break her.
Lightning flashes, illuminating her breathtaking features, and she braces for the oncoming thunder.
"I really hate this storm," she whispers.
I nod. "I know."
Her eyes travel back to my lips.
I let mine fall to hers.
"Nash," she whispers.
Her face gets closer. "Yeah, Nelly?"
"Tell me to stop."
"I wish you wouldn't."
She rises onto her tiptoes and I meet her halfway, our mouths colliding. Silver stars burst behind my eyes as our tongues meld together. Thunder rolls, but she doesn't flinch. Doesn't jump at all. I slant my mouth over hers, allowing a growl to rumble up my throat as I cup the back of her head.
Her hands slide over my bare shoulders, needy and frantic as her blunted nails scrape against my skin. My hands fall to her ass cheeks, gripping the flesh like it's the only thing grounding me.
"Nelly," I groan against her mouth. "You taste amazing."
She rewards me with a whimper, and the sound nearly snaps what little restraint I've got left.
"Nash. Nash, Nash, Nash."
She says my name quickly and I pull back, gazing down at her as I pant for air. Her chest is heaving against mine, as if I've stolen all she's got from her lungs, and all I want is to dive back in until she's breathing the only air I afford her.
"Tell me what you need, Omega."
Her breathing stutters. "I—"
I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "Whatever you need right now, it's yours. If you need Beau, I'll go get—"
"No," she says quickly.
"Then, if you need Levi, I'll go get—"
She shakes her head. "No, I don't need them."
I lean down and kiss the tip of her nose. "I'll stop guessing, then."
She snickers softly. "I just… need a distraction, you know? I know that sounds horrible and I'm sorry, but—"
I cut her off by kissing her again. I'm good at distractions. I can do that. I'm finding that I'd do anything for Nelly.
Especially for the honor of her taste on my tongue again.