Chapter 19
I rolled over with a groan. I couldn’t fall asleep; there was something tugging deep inside me, and I didn’t understand what it was. I’d had a good day with the guys, I was exhausted, and I should have fallen asleep quickly. I had initially fallen to sleep when my head first hit the pillow, only to wake up an hour later. At least, I thought it was an hour later; the entire cabin was dark, and I couldn’t hear anyone else moving around.
At first, I simply stared at the ceiling, trying to will myself myself back to sleep. Something inside me felt oddly hollow, like I was missing something, but I couldn’t decipher what I was missing. Was I hungry? I didn’t think so. I closed my eyes and thought, If I could have anything right now, what would it be? The mental image came into my mind instantly: a hug. Just to be nestled up with my family back home. That mental image made my heart ache with longing.
I sat up with a groan, running my hand through my hair. Why was this need taking over me now? I’d been able to suppress it successfully for so many years—throughout my entire time with Alec, I’d been almost numb. I’d be able to suppress all of my instincts, not craving soft things or human contact. No, I’d just been…solid, silent stone. It’s what I’d had to do to survive.
Now, though, something was changing. I was appreciating the texture of blankets, far more than I had before, and the desperation for human contact was making my chest burn. It was almost painful, the need. Tears gathered in the corners of my eyes, and I quickly wiped them away. There was no use crying about it. I was stuck in the middle of nowhere with three alphas. If I needed human contact, I was going to have to go to one of them, or I was just going to have to deal with it myself and get over it.
For the next hour, I sat up, I fidgeted, I cocooned myself in the blankets, then starfished across the bed. I did everything I could, I tried every position, but nothing was comfortable. Finally, with a frustrated grumble, I rolled out of bed. I had to find something to do or I was going to lose my mind. After a quick trip to the bathroom , I wandered through the cabin, making a beeline for the kitchen. Maybe a snack would help. I certainly wasn’t going to say no to more freshly baked bread and butter.
Once in the kitchen, I looked around, trying to locate the bread we had left on the counter, which was now suspiciously clean and empty. I started opening cupboards, trying to figure out where the hell Asher had put it. Eventually, I discovered that it was on the very top shelf in one of the cupboards—far out of my reach. I bit my lip as I looked up at the promising bread. I could smell it from where I stood. I wasn’t going to hang around and wait for someone else to get it.
Hiking my leg up, I put one knee on the kitchen counter and hoisted myself up, wobbling ever slightly, grabbing onto the shelves for balance as I knelt with both knees on the counter. Even in this position, I could just barely graze the bread with my fingertips. These alphas are giants, I thought, and a pain in my butt if they keep leaving things at heights where I can’t reach.
“What the hell are you doing?” a voice asked behind me, making me jump out of my skin.
“Holy crap!” I shrieked as I stumbled, starting to fall backwards, my entire body about to fall off the counter. This is it. This is how I die—I’m going to fall to my death trying to get bread off a top shelf. Somehow, it felt like an appropriate ending for me, if I was honest. Only, my spiral of doom was abruptly stopped when a strong pair of hands caught me from behind, keeping me on the counter.
The familiar, thick scent was easy to identify. “Dylan?” I squeaked.
“Yes?” he said. “My question still stands.”
His question? He had asked a question? My mind could only think about his exceedingly large and strong hands on my waist from behind. He was so close to me, his breath was tickling my neck. Before I could respond, he hoisted me down, so I was standing on solid ground, my back still pressed against him.
“Juniper,” he murmured.
I huffed. “You guys are giants. That’s the problem, okay?” I said with a haughty tone.
Dylan chuckled. “Care to explain that a bit better, sunshine?”
“I was hungry and I couldn’t sleep. I don’t know why I couldn’t sleep. But I thought I’d get some bread, and I came to get said bread, but Asher put it in a place where only giants can reach it.” I gestured to the top shelf with a small stomp of my foot.
I leaned back into his embrace; he didn’t seem to be in a particular rush to let me go, either.
“I’ll get you some bread,” he said.
“No, it’s okay. This is nice,” I admitted, leaning further back into him. Turning around, I nuzzled into his chest, inhaling his scent. His arms instinctively wrapped around me, pulling me closer to him.
“Are you okay?” he asked. “Are you having nightmares?”
I shook my head. “No, I’m fine. Something just doesn’t feel right tonight, like I don’t know if it’s my omega instincts, but I’m off. I thought getting a snack would help, but, well, this is helping.” I paused. “I think I was just missing human touch.”
Dylan began gently rubbing his hands along my back. “Omegas do need human touch to survive. It’s only natural you’d miss it,” he said.
I hummed lightly. “I suppose, but I haven’t missed it before. The entire time I was gone, I didn’t feel the need for it, I felt fine. None of my omega instincts really worked there. But now, I just really… I wanted to have a hug. That’s pathetic, isn’t it? I shouldn’t have said that.”
Dylan shushed me, one of his hands coming to rest on the back of my head as my face stayed resting on his pec. He was wearing a T-shirt, so I wasn’t pressed up against his bare skin, but it still meant that I could feel every ridge of his chest through the fabric. “It’s biology, Juniper,” he said simply. “How about we get you some bread, and we can go watch some TV and you can cuddle into my side.”
I looked up at him. “You’d let me do that?” I whimpered softly.
There was no anger on his face, no disdain, just a small smile. “Of course, I will,” he said. “But I think I need to feed you some bread first, and no more clambering on counters.” His face grew stern at the last part.
“Well, how else was I supposed to get the bread?” I retorted, pulling back slightly and placing my hands on my hips. “If I was hungry and I wanted the bread, it's not my fault you put it somewhere only giants can reach it—it’s impossible.”
“That’s why you ask us for help.”
“It’s the middle of the night!” I protested. “I wasn’t going to wake someone up just because I wanted bread.”
“That is exactly what you should do.”
“Oh, you’re incorrigible,” I muttered.
“No, I just want to make sure you’re safe,” he said, gently nudging me aside and reaching up, effortlessly plucking the bread off the top shelf, like it was no big deal. Stupid arrogant alpha, showing off his stupid arrogant height.
“Don’t glower at me like that,” he said, handing me the loaf of bread. “I’ll go get the butter.”
“Thank you,” I muttered sullenly as he wandered off to find the butter. By the time I’d located a bread knife and put the loaf down, he was back, placing the butter in front of me on the counter and plucking the knife out of my hand and taking over cutting the bread.
“I am capable of doing that,” I said, frowning.
“I’m also capable of helping,” he replied. “You’re meant to be taking it easy, remember?”
“Yes, but I’m not doing anything strenuous. I’m cutting a loaf of bread.”
Dylan chuckled. “Cutting bread is very hard work, I’ll have you know. I think I’ll need a snack myself after all this.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re a real pain in the ass, you know that?” I said, crossing my arms.
“I know,” he agreed easily. “But I’m getting you bread and butter, so are you really going to complain?”
“Of course, I’m going to complain. In fact, I’m?—”
My words were cut off as he shoved a piece of bread into my mouth. I wanted to be mad at him, to shout at him, but the bread was so nice, and I was immediately distracted by chewing the piece of delicious goodness. As I chewed, it dawned on me that he hadn’t just grabbed the butter. He’d grabbed a small assortment of snacks: there were cheeses, dried meats, nuts, a little bit of everything to nibble on. It was the kind of meal that my mother and I used to love, while my father and brothers would always say it was like eating “bird food” because there was no proper protein source or no distinct food groups. How did Dylan know I would love that?
“This looks lovely,” I said, surprised. “Thank you.”
He jerked his head in the direction of the family room. “Go turn on the TV. I’ll be there in a minute.” Part of me wanted to tell him no, to stick around just to be stubborn, but I wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. He was being oddly nice and was even letting me cuddle, so the least I could do was be a bit more agreeable, for once.
After I grabbed a few blankets and threw them on the main sofa that faced the TV, I turned the screen on and started scrolling through the movies and TV shows. “What do you want to watch?” I asked as I sat back on the sofa and he entered the room.
He sat down next to me, placing the tray of food on the table in front of us and leaning back, throwing his arm over the back of the sofa. He just shrugged. “Whatever you want is fine.”
I rolled my eyes. “We have to at least watch something we both agree on. How about an action movie?” I suggested, scrolling through.
Dylan laughed. “I know you’re not that big a fan of action movies.”
I huffed. “I know, but you are a fan of them. I’m trying to be nice here. Let me be nice.” I glowered.
“Nope,” he said, plucking the remote out of my hand.
How could I like a man and want to strangle him at the same time? It felt very paradoxical.