53. Chapter Fifty-Three #3
She clips a small monitor to his finger, glances at the reading, and sets her datapad down on the nearby tray. "Tell me what’s been happening."
Riot stares at the floor. "It’s nothing."
The lie comes out rough, but Everlyn lets it hang and waits.
Silence stretches until Riot scrubs both hands over his face and drags in a breath through his teeth. "Fine. I can’t sleep."
"How long?"
"Since the battle. But it's been getting worse over the last four days.
Maybe five." His throat works. "I close my eyes, and I’m back on the road with endless waves of Humans coming up at me. No matter how many I kill, there are always more. My team yelling at me. The Alpha beside me taking a bullet to the skull and not getting back up. I wake up ready to kill someone, and there’s nobody there. "
I keep my face calm because he needs calm. Judgment would only shove him deeper into the thing trying to eat him alive, but my heart is aching for him. I understand combat nightmares and how draining it is to find no respite in sleep, but the fear in Riot’s eyes goes beyond exhaustion.
Everlyn’s voice stays even. "What else?"
"I'm angry." Riot’s hands curl over his knees, squeezing hard. "Everything pisses me off. Someone talks near me, and I want to rip their jaw off. Someone bumps my shoulder, and I’m halfway to swinging before I know I’ve moved."
His gaze flicks toward me, quick and ashamed.
I want to tell him that I have no judgment and understand that his illness has nothing to do with a lack of discipline, but it's not time for reassurance yet. He needs to get it all off his chest.
"I picked a fight with one of my own support Betas this morning. He asked if I wanted more eggs." Riot lets out a humorless breath. "I'm so fucked up and stupid that eggs made me angry."
I want to tell him that it's not stupid, it's an illness, and it's not his fault that he has it. I'm thinking about Viper in Blood Lust again, recalling the terror in him under all that fury, buried so deep nobody else seemed able to see it. Riot has the same terror in his eyes.
Viper’s scent shifts beside me, but he keeps his feelings held under iron control, and I can barely feel them through the bond.
Riot looks at Viper for the first time, and some of the shame on his face twists into recognition. Everyone in Blackgate knows what happened to Viper now. They know he came back from Blood Lust, which makes him impossible to dismiss.
"I don’t want to hurt them," Riot says to Viper, quieter. "You understand, don't you? M—my team, the refugees… I don't want to hurt anyone." His voice cracks around the last words. "But I can feel it getting worse, and I don’t know how to stop it."
Everlyn crouches in front of him, practical and unflinching. "You did the right thing by coming."
He shakes his head. "My Prime made me."
"Then he did right by you," she says. "And you did right by everyone by walking into this room."
Riot’s breathing catches.
A month ago, before this clinic existed, he might have hidden the symptoms until shame and fear hollowed him out. He might have finally broken while in the mess hall, surrounded by the soldiers and support Betas and refugees he wants to protect.
Back in the Fathim military, they would've used his volatility as war fodder until there was nothing left. They would have pointed him at enemies, reaped the benefits of the pure carnage he would've left behind, and then put a bullet through his skull when he became inconvenient.
Our fortress will never be that cruel. Not on my watch.
I step closer.
Riot’s eyes snap to mine. His pupils are wide, his breath dragging in and out of his chest, and beneath the rancid bite of sickness, I can still scent him. His scent is dominated by strong bergamot, but with the surprising warmth of freshly baked bread underneath.
I don't know much about Alpha Riot, but I do know that he was probably ripped away from his family and trained as a soldier as a child.
I know that he's been escorting survivors under gunfire.
I know that he's scared and is fighting an unfathomable internal battle all on his own.
And I know, without a doubt, that this young Alpha does not want to hurt anyone he's vowed to protect.
Viper stands at my side, warm, alive, proof that this sickness does not have to be the end anymore.
"You’re not alone in this anymore," I tell Riot. "And it isn’t your fault."
His mouth trembles once before he clamps it shut.
I reach for the Omega Command waiting in my chest, but I don't draw on the force I used against the Human army. This time, I shape it around patience, care, and the promise that Riot will not be abandoned while I still have the power to help him.
"Riot," I say gently. "Look at me."
He lifts his head, fear still wide in his eyes, but trust is there too. He believes I can reach him before the Blood Lust takes more of who he is.
The Command leaves me gently and carries the vow I made after saving Viper.
No Alpha will be abandoned to Blood Lust, not while I still have a voice to call them home.