55. Chapter Fifty-Five
Chapter Fifty-Five
Shade
A high, fractured sound tears from Blaze as his eyes widen, and then he surges forward.
His hand clamps around my hip hard enough to bruise, dragging me farther down the couch while his other arm pins my thigh open.
A snarl forces its way through his clenched teeth as his Alpha takes control, driven by the instinct to fuck the willing body beneath him.
"Stop," I say clearly.
He freezes above me with his chest heaving, his grip still painful and his cock pressed against the twitching furl of my hole. The tendons in his neck strain as he fights the urge to thrust, but he obeys.
Relief loosens my lungs.
I knew he would stop, though knowing what Blaze is capable of makes the risk impossible to ignore. I’m exposed beneath an assassin who knows exactly how to hurt a body and sometimes craves pain, his own and someone else's, when he returns from a mission like this.
I’m frightened by how quickly he lost control of himself, but I’m not afraid that he intends to take the control from me.
Fear pours through the bond from him because he knows what almost happened, and he needs me to keep this situation firmly in my hands.
I catch his jaw and bring his gaze to mine.
‘You’re all right, baby. I’m here.’
His nostrils flare as he forces each breath to slow. A whimper escapes him, and his fingers release my hip before he pulls his hand away and waits for my next instruction.
‘You can start again when you’re ready.’
He shakes his head. "Shade…"
"Daddy," I correct gently, switching to spoken words when the bond becomes too crowded for him to answer through it.
"I can’t. My head’s wrong." His hands curl against his thighs until his knuckles pale. "It’s full of noise, blood, and every bad thing I know how to do. My Alpha keeps telling me to grab you, hold you down, and fuck you raw until you’re crying.
I want you, but I don’t want to hurt you.
That’s why I stay away from the Pack when I’m like this.
" His voice breaks. "Please, Daddy. Don’t let me hurt you. "
The bond confirms every word. Violence and arousal still drive through him, carrying fresh memories from the mission, but beneath them is the Blaze who wants my hand in his hair and my voice telling him he is good.
He wants permission to stop being the Alpha Blackgate fears and return to the idiot who makes Halley laugh into her pillow.
Both parts of him are waiting for my answer.
I stroke my thumb along his jaw. "You don’t have to trust yourself yet. Trust me."
A rough whine leaves him.
I do trust him, because he stopped when I told him to. Now he has to learn that he can return from a mission carrying all that violence and still choose to be safe with the people he loves.
"All you have to do is listen to Daddy," I say, my voice dropping lower so it remains steady despite the tremor in my limbs. "Slow down, breathe, and take exactly what I’m giving you. Stay here with me, in this room, in this moment. Trust me to give you what you need."
He draws a slow breath, holds it, then exhales shakily.
"That’s it, baby. Get yourself ready," I whisper, pressing the lube into his hand. "Make yourself wet for me, and then I want you inside of me. I want you as close as you can get, baby boy."
He's shaking with the effort to restrain himself. The whimper in his throat deepens into a low, pleased sound, but he remains still and trembles with the effort of obeying me. Blaze's eyes have been glowing from excitement this whole time, but now they practically burn.
Suddenly, my gaping hole feels empty, and I want him inside of me now.
"I’m going to hold you through every second of it. You’re going to listen to Daddy’s voice, feel me wrapped around you, and remember you’re home. You’re not on the battlefield anymore. You’re not hunting. You’re with me, and you’re going to be so good for me. Put your cock on my hole."
Blaze shudders, his breath breaking as he moves until he's kneeling between my legs.
There is a slick sound as Blaze pumps his lube-slicked hand over himself one more time, and then a blunt nudge at my rim as he notches his cockhead at my entrance.
"Is that what you need?" I whisper. "To have something important to focus on so those vicious Alpha instincts finally settle?"
His eyes glaze, soft and wild at once.
"Yes, Daddy," he breathes. "Bring me home."
‘Good. Go deeper.’ I switch to the bond now that it is clear enough for him to hear me through it again.
I exhale slowly as he presses inside me, following my instructions with rigid care. His gaze drops to my mouth, watching every breath I release, before returning to my eyes for permission to continue.
I keep my expression steady, hiding the deep burn as his cock stretches muscles that have never taken this much. Sweat gathers along my spine, and my fingers tighten against the couch while I force my body to relax around him.
‘That’s it. Draw back, then push in again.’
Blaze obeys, moving slowly as he works himself deeper with each thrust. Whenever my breathing catches or my body tenses, he eases his pace and adjusts until I relax around him again.
‘Faster.’
Wet sounds fill the silence of the room, punctuated by the slap of his hips hitting the backs of my thighs.
"Shh." I press my finger to my lips, my eyes widening as I glance toward the bedroom where Halley is sleeping.
He grunts softly and changes the angle to be quieter, except it backfires because his cockhead kisses something inside me and I choke on a moan.
Delight sparks in Blaze's eyes, and he picks up the pace, aiming for that spot again and again.
I've never touched my prostate before, and now Blaze is pummeling it.
The pleasure goes from a gentle warmth to an immediate, scorching intensity. It's both pain and pleasure, an overstimulation that I don't want to stop.
My toes start to tingle, and my thighs clench. It feels like nothing I've ever experienced, and I lean forward to kiss him to keep little punched-out moans from spilling forth.
Adding in the slick slide of our lips and tongues makes it too much and not enough all at the same time. I know if I even graze my cock, I'll come, but this isn't about me. It's about Blaze and what he needs.
"C'mere," I gasp against his lips between thrusts, grasping his shoulders, unable to focus enough to speak through the bond. "You need me close, don't you? Take what you need, sweetheart."
I drag myself forward as far as I can and wrap my arms around him tightly, pressing our chests together.
He grasps the meat of my ass and drags me off the couch and into his lap.
He spins so his back rests against the couch, not once stopping his thrusts.
Sometimes it pays to have a soldier with super strength for a mate.
I plant my feet on either side of his hips, squatting. My thighs burn, but Blaze holds up most of my weight with his hands cupping my ass, pulling my cheeks apart.
In this position, my rim stretches more, a slight sting added to the licks of heat. I prop my chin on his shoulder and nuzzle into the juncture of his neck, letting my breath puff over the beaded sweat.
With our chests pressed tight together, I feel Blaze shiver and his breathing turn ragged. This time I know it's not because he's still keyed up from his mission, but because he's getting close to coming.
I've never had someone come inside of me before, but I'm struck by how badly I want it.
"Come in me, baby boy. Fill Daddy up," I whisper in his ear, and it's met with a groan muffled in my shoulder.
"Yes. Yes, gonna fill you up. Wanna be inside you always." He licks at my neck, sucking until I know there will be a hickey. I don't mind. If that's what he needs right now to feel grounded, then I'll gladly wear proof of his devotion and trust.
Blaze's cock is throbbing inside of me, and alarmingly, the swell of his knot starts kissing my rim.
"No—no knot, okay?" I whisper hurriedly. Fuck, I really don't want to be split open by his monster knot. I'm not an Omega, and I'm not built for it.
Blaze doesn't reply or stop his thrusts, but I think he's listened because he isn't grinding me down on his knot like he does with Halley right before he pops it inside her.
My eyes are rolling back, little bursts of color forming in my peripherals.
Blaze's shirt has ridden up, and my cock is brushing his hard abs, pre-come smearing over his skin. I can't hold out much longer.
"I'm gonna— baby, Daddy's gonna come," I manage to gasp out, and then I'm bursting. Come spurts from me as I orgasm hard, my body quaking, and my channel clenching around Blaze's shaft.
It sends Blaze into a higher gear, and he growls loudly, completely forgoing any attempt to quiet himself. His arms squeeze my ass tightly, holding me firmly as he pummels into me, fucking me hard and fast as he chases his release.
"Uh, uh, uh." Deep sounds are falling from my lips as I take his assault, letting it extend my peak. "That's… Mmm, yes. That's it, baby. Use Daddy's hole. Make yourself feel good."
Blaze shudders, and his entire body clenches, followed by a low and long groan. His cock pulses, throbbing as ropes of hot come spurt into my quivering channel. His knot is fully inflated and pressed firmly against my hole, but not entering.
"Oh, f-fuck. Daddy!" Blaze hisses in my ear.
We both ride out our pleasure together, my fluttering core milking every drop of seed before I droop, relaxing into his arms.
As the endorphins ebb and our breathing steadies, I tip my head back and look up at Blaze through half-lowered lashes.
'You alright?' I eventually ask, my mind still a little scattered.
He looks wrecked, too. Sweat darkens his hairline, his mouth is kiss-swollen, and his eyes are heavy and soft. His side of the bond has gone quiet at last, missing that frantic, vicious edge. There is now only warmth, relief, and a depth of affection that makes me quiver as I swallow around it.
'Yeah,' he replies, looking down at me like I’ve handed him something precious, instead of role-playing as a father-figure and having him bugger me. 'I think I’m gonna be okay.'
My throat tightens.
Maybe 'okay' means something different for Blaze than it does for everyone else. He’ll never be easy. He’ll never come back from violence untouched by it.
There will be darker days than this one.
Harder homecomings. More nights where I have to put my hands on him and lead him back by the sound of my voice.
But he’s here.
He came back to me.
"Good," I whisper.
That’s all I’ve ever wanted for him. To know he doesn’t have to claw his own way out of the dark alone anymore. That he has the Pack, Halley, and he has me. He's always had me and he always will.