59. Chapter Fifty-Nine #3
I trust Zero to find Ember and bring her back safely. He’s one of the most capable soldiers we have, and I wouldn’t send anyone less qualified after her. But he’s also a Prime Alpha, and I know better than anyone how confronting meeting one for the first time can be.
My Ember is fiery and has no tolerance for arrogance, so I'm hoping Riot’s patience, humor, and open nature might help her feel safer while they earn her trust.
"Ember was last seen by your men at a settlement on the far edge of Blackreach," I say. "Your job is to find her, ensure her safety, and bring her home."
My voice cracks on the word home. It's been too long since my friend and I shared a home, and it finally feels like it might be a possibility once more.
I turn the datapad so they can see the map, the coordinates, the route Viper marked earlier.
"This needs to be handled delicately. She will be distrustful of you at first, so patience will be your main weapon. Don’t take risks you can avoid. I want her alive and not traumatized by Alphas who don't understand the word gentle."
Zero’s eyes track the screen, then lift back to me. They're a striking, luminescent brown, ringed with gold. They glow, even now, in this office, the same way they do on the battlefield.
My Pack doesn't intervene or offer their own orders. They're leaving this up to me completely, simply offering their support.
This mission is mine. It always has been and it always will be until the day I bring all three of them home.
"Do you understand?" I ask.
Zero and Riot straighten.
"Yes, ma’am."
Zero’s brow furrows as he looks down at the datapad. His gaze loses focus, and after a moment, he shakes his head.
"No," he says, the refusal strained. "I can’t accept this mission."
"And why not?"
His eyes lift to mine.
"Because I failed you."
For the first time since the processing camp, Zero meets my eyes and holds them.
"I had you under my command the day you…" His throat works, but the word refuses to come.
I don’t interrupt. He has carried this since the day I died, and if I want him to accept the mission, I need to let him say it.
"The situation escalated because of choices I made long before we reached that camp," he continues. His hands close into fists at his sides. "I supported a regime that hurt the people I was supposed to protect, and when it mattered, I couldn’t stop that damage from affecting my capacity to lead."
The bond tightens as my Pack remembers the gunshot, the blood, and the moment they lost me. I keep my attention on Zero.
His gaze drops to Ember’s file. There is a picture of her, taken many years ago. She's looking right at the camera with piercing eyes, but she's so obviously an Omega with her rounded cheeks and soft features.
"You died because I got it wrong," he says, his voice roughening despite his effort to control it. "I’m not the Alpha you send to protect another Omega. Not after I got the first one I ever met killed."
I don’t let him retreat into his guilt.
"You didn’t kill me," I say.
Zero’s gaze snaps back to mine.
"You made choices that helped create the danger we were in, and you have to live with them. But you weren’t the one who pulled the trigger. She shot me because she was frightened, angry, and convinced I was her enemy."
His jaw tightens, but he listens.
"You can’t change what you did while serving Fathim, but you can choose what you do now."
I tap Ember’s file on the datapad.
"She doesn’t need an Alpha who has never made a mistake. She needs one who understands the damage an Alpha can cause when he treats an Omega as an order to carry out instead of a person," I say.
Zero’s brows are still furrowed, and he doesn’t look convinced.
I need him to do this. Instinctively, I know there isn't another soldier in this fortress who is as capable.
He looks back down at Ember’s picture, and I briefly wonder if I can use her good looks as an incentive, but I quickly dismiss that idea. Zero won't be swayed by the promise of a pretty Omega. He needs something much more fundamental than that.
Something he's desperate for.
He needs forgiveness.
Now, that is something I can use, however unethical.
"You think your guilt is proof that you can’t be trusted," I continue and aim for a low blow. "Then this is your opportunity to atone. If you complete this mission, you will be forgiven, Prime Alpha Zero."
Zero closes his eyes and draws a deep breath. His shoulders slowly lower as the silence stretches between us, and I begin to wonder whether I’ve reached him. Then he opens his eyes, and the shame that weighed down his expression has hardened into determination.
There he is. That's the soldier I need. He already has my forgiveness, but if he has to think of this mission as his atonement, then I'll let that fuel him.
His eyes meet mine again, and this time, he doesn’t look away.
"Bring Ember home."
"Yes, ma’am."
My eyes burn as I look down at the files belonging to the three Omegas I left behind when Stone forced me out of the Omega Division.
I left the Omega Division promising I would come back for them. The war delayed me, Stone tried to stop me, and death itself stood in my way.
None of it matters now.
I'm bringing my Omegas home, even if I have to fight dirty to do it.