13. Playing With Fire
Playing With Fire
~KENJI~
“ S HUT THE FUCK UP!”
Ah. The sweet sound of misery.
The vocal hymn of frustration ignites my thrilling movement, the drumsticks in my grasp moving swiftly in repetition. The loud concoction of music pounds through the echoing space of my penthouse, allowing me to escape the spiraling madness swirling in the depths of my mind and in a place of tranquility.
Closing my eyes, I get lost in this sensation that gives me the perfect escape.
To the world, I’m just the noisy, rich drummer of a new band, playing a set of wild nonsense at six in the morning, but for me, this silences the chaos.
The endless thoughts and disappointments that nag me at any chance they get.
Some would say music is my coping mechanism, but this is the best therapy in the market for someone as borderline psychotic as me. Better than the stacks of pills that took years to ween off of or the shock therapy I used to deal with that was annoyingly painful.
This keeps me out of strait jackets and among the society that enjoys judging me from left to right.
Stops me from obsessing over my and my pack’s constant reminder that we’re Omega-less.
No matter how many years I’ve prayed and craved, we’re enduring another year without a woman to nestle with. A beauty who’s made to be pampered and lusted over by us dominant cocky Alphas.
A Queen I’ve yearned to worship for as long as I can remember.
In reality shows and the world of romance, they make it seem so easy. So vibrant and unexpected. The scenario they always present is meeting your Omega when you least expect it, yet here I am, waiting fucking years and still sleeping in my bed alone.
Not every day… but the comfort from an Alpha is a temporary warmth that only makes those paralyzing ruts a bit more tolerable.
“けんじ.”
Hearing my name in Japanese stalls the pounding symphony of drums and cymbals. My eyes not only open but my gaze darts just as fast as one of my drumsticks that barely gets caught by the culprit who manages to protect himself from my instinct wrath.
“You know, you’re going to do that shit to someone who doesn’t have swift instincts like me, and you’ll be in trouble.”
I pout my lips but also realize how out of breath I am. It’s enough for me to search for my water bottle, only to realize I finished it a while ago.
How long have I been playing for?
The deep sigh from afar follows with footsteps, encouraging me to follow the moving male who walks up to my double-decker fridge to retrieve a chilled bottle of Fuji water.
Walking toward me gives me the chance to admire the suit-stricken man, who I dare say looks like a Dark Lord ready to descend upon the city and awaken the depths of Hell.
Or I’ve been reading too much fantasy shit.
His favorite.
“ ??,” I state his name in Korean, just like how he stated mine in Japanese. Unlike my reaction to threatened masculinity, the 6’6” jet-black hair Alpha keeps his calm persona as usual.
”If you didn’t own this penthouse and have connections, you would have been kicked out for being a noise menace at six in the morning,” he declares as he offers me the bottle of water. “You’ve been at it for almost an hour.”
Shit… almost sixty minutes of drumming like a manic? No wonder why I’m breathless.
Breathless and drenched. I’m not recognizing the beads of sweat that cling to my locks. Some roll down the side of my face, encouraging me to lift up the half of my shirt so I can wipe at my face. The grey graffiti shirt is drenched with my sweat.
“I didn’t realize,” I admit and twist the cap open. The way I drink down this water, like it’s the holy grail, should be recorded and used for an ad of some sort. Ignite another form of income. Heck, give us a sponsor for our tour. “What are you doing here?”
After last night’s failure, I’m surprised he’s up so early. That could be why I needed to sit in my seat and let myself run wild until I reached drummer oasis.
Another forced evening, surrounded by all these Alpha packs and being taunted by various Omegas, desperate to find a pack who will spoil them with glitter and gold.
Being forced to endure that yet again, knowing damn well, we’d leave the night without an Omega, should be therapy worthy. You’d think after so many failed meets, the government would just mark us unmatchable so we could go on with our lives and figure out how to survive without an Omega.
Only one Omega caught my attention.
That Sweet Hummingbird.
She was gone before we knew it, and I’m positive she found a pack that would drool for her loving submission. It’s a shame. Her unique spark drew me in like a moth to a flame.
That could have been why I struggled to fall asleep when we got home close to three in the morning. That and the fact Icarus didn’t check in to say he got home. None of us have to do it, but if we go out for certain events, we agreed to message when we’ve arrived safely home.
Too many Alphas are getting kidnapped these days…
Forced into illegal trades and rings to attract mateless Omegas struggling with homelessness and approaching their Heat. Even though there are safe havens to protect these Omegas from the streets, not all of them are lucky to get in.
Either they are not lucky, or they refuse to submit themselves to another system that controls their movements.
Icarus said safe havens are a lot better than they’re projected on the streets. I only believe him because he contributes to one of the biggest ones and visits regularly to ensure his money is making a positive impact on the community.
Regardless, Icarus had gone out for a smoke and said he’d be busy tonight and that’s it. No text message or call saying he’s all snuggled in bed this fine morning.
Then again, we shouldn’t worry about the cocky bastard. He probably lost track of all his clients begging him for the sort of deal that would make them more famous.
“This morning should be called ‘Let’s Ignore Kai,’ seeing as none of you fuckers enjoy picking up your phones,” he announces and even gives an annoyed pout. “You seemed to be the easiest to locate, which is why I’m here.”
“I’ll translate that as my rut is nagging my cock, and I need someone to tame my sanity,” I summarize with a wide grin which leaves Kai scowling in misery. “I know when you’re horny because you talk far too much.”
Despite that, he walks over to get me another bottle of water. Walking back to me, he taps the bottle to my head, as if I’m fighting a fever and not just sweating from playing through multiple sets on my drums for almost an hour.
“I’m leaving.”
I knew he was going to weasel out of here, which is why my fingers knot around his tie, securing enough grip to pull him further so our lips collide.
He can’t stop the low growl that begins to thrum against the inner walls of his throat. I can’t contain my primitive growl as I allow Kai to take the dominating role of this spontaneous kiss.
This is what we have to thrive on, seeing as we can’t find an Omega to tame these urges. I can tell from how Kai’s able to control the intensity of the kiss that he doesn’t need much from me this morning.
Intimacy is something we both seem to thrive on. Enough that we’re able to tame our Alpha desires and needs with the simplistic things. It’s a bit of a blessing in our predicament.
We’re not like Icarus or Nate, who needs sexual intimacy to get them off their high.
Despite how little we need, it doesn’t make this any less tricky for either of us. I don’t remember when or why we started relying on one another for intimate and sexual release.
It had to be a night we were both wasted after one of many horrifying meets with twenty-plus Omegas and not finding a single match. The frustration and not being able to have your cock in the depths of an Omega pussy when you need to rut had to have pushed us to improvise.
To be fair, it’s not like I don’t enjoy these moments of lust. I enjoy them a lot more than I’d ever admit. Not like anyone takes my word seriously these days.
I’m certain Kai would never verbally confess how he thrives for these moments between us, either.
Kai’s not a talker to begin with. He observes and takes action. Talking is just a waste of time for him.
Unless he’s needy right now.
“You could admit you miss me, asshole,” I mutter against his lips the moment we take a chance to breathe. Because fuck, Kai kisses as if neither of us needs oxygen to breathe. “Did you come here just to see if I was good?”
“Yeah,” he mutters, though his attention is on my lips. It makes me chuckle as I lean further away to admire the flicker of hunger in his eyes.
“You sure?” I don’t hesitate to pull my shirt off now that I have his undivided attention. That only further scales with how his dark eyes lower to admire my chiseled body.
You’ll never see me in a gym, but I keep this body taken care of in the physique department. It takes tons of stamina to be a drummer. The core strength alone matched the arm strength, keeping my biceps built and my six-pack in check.
That and occasional fuckery with this asshole in the bedroom.
“Mhmm.” I bet he didn’t even listen to what I said. His eyes trail down my chest, admiring the glistening muscles and how my shorts dip low enough to show my V-lines.
I always low-ride them so it’s easier to sit for long periods, but now it looks like the perfect taunting trick for my packmate. Just seeing how interested he is makes my cock twitch with expectation.
It’s not too early to fuck, but do I want everyone in my building to hear Kai tear my cheeks apart and fuck me silly?
God, I don’t care.
The soft melody of a phone goes off, breaking the lustful spell thrumming between us. I’d be lying if I pretended there wasn’t a hint of disappointment at the familiar ringtone, but I know there’s no way of ignoring it.
“Yours?” Kai ends up saying, prompting me to look at my pocket.
My phone was on silent, but work calls always ring on this phone. My second private phone, which is only for the pack, is in the bedroom charging.
“Yeah. Work phone,” I groan and race to pick it up. “Fuck, Alec. What do you want? I’m trying to get my cheeks slapped.”
That gets a slight smirk from my Japanese billionaire. He lowers the bottle over to my left, where a clear table resides with some music shit and other important lyric shit for the band.
“Uh…” Alec sounds completely taken aback by my statement. Enough for me to groan and lean my head back in agony.
“Just speak, Alec. What do you need from me so early in the morning? I swear I ain’t on tour bus duty, and if this has something to do with changing the name, again, we ain’t doing it. I like Knotless Sadistic’s just nicely.”
“You’re not going with that name,” Alec groans in dismay.
“Whatever,” I brush it off, though my eyes notice how Kai pulls up a stool and positions himself behind me. Guess he’d want to sit in front of me, but my whole ass drum set is in the way. “What do you need?”
“Well, I think you should go check on Nate for me.”
“Why would I do that?” I question and decide to put the phone on speaker. If Alec is bringing up Nate, then this is more pack business than it is band stuff that deals with NDAs and shit.
Leaning over to place the phone on the clear table, I grab the water bottle next to it. I almost drop it when Kai’s hands grip my waist, the touch alone driving my inside wild. I pause my movement to look over my shoulder at him, but he’s as calm as ever, meeting my gaze with his eyes that are filled with confidence. He knows what he’s doing and is being intentional.
He’s also observing whether I want this right now.
I haven’t pushed him away, so that’s a good sign.
“Well… um… there’s some bad news.”
That makes us both frown as we peer at the phone’s screen. Talk about pouring cold water on a perfect opportunity for ass-deep sex.
Instead of moving his hands from me, Kai’s grasp moves lower until he’s lightly gripping my thighs. He moves me back enough on my rolling seat for us to be pressed together, but other than that, he doesn’t do anything else.
Just giving me a supportive touch.
I appreciate it a lot more than I’d ever confess.
I hate being sprung with bad news.
Bad news is what landed me in a psych ward.
“What’s wrong?” I finally answer, bracing myself for what he’s going to say. As if my mind isn’t already thinking in overdrive of all the bad possibilities that can happen with our pack leader.
“Uh… one sec. I’m getting another call,” Alec prompts, and the line goes on hold.
Mother fucker…
The universe enjoys teasing me with scenarios that test the little patience I carry with my spiraling mind. Anything could have happened to Nate.
A car accident. What about the tour bus? Did it fall off a fucking cliff or get hit by another car, truck, or bus? How about if he got injured? Something wrong with his voice. Or he’s ill. In the hospital. His life is in jeopardy, or maybe he’s being blackmailed. What if ? —
The touch to my neck makes me grow still; the soft movement of lips against my flesh drives my Alpha senses into a frenzy of their own. My cock feels stiff against my shorts, desperate to be freed and touched.
“K-Kai.” I know he’s the one laying light kisses on the left side of my neck, but my mind feels sluggish in wanting to accept his presence. That he’s still here and hasn’t abandoned me like everyone normally does when things get romantically complicated. “Alec can come back on the line any second.”
“And?”
That’s all he says, not a single fuck given in the depths of his voice. He really doesn’t care because his hand is moving closer to my waistband, fishing for what I pray is my cock and not the drawstring of my shorts.
“You… don’t want to sit here and wait?” I offer.
“I can multitask,” he grunts impatiently. I feel how he adjusts himself behind me, as if his cock is straining against his crotch, just like mine. “Problem?”
Fuck no.
“No.”
“Then.” His hand dives in until he finds exactly what he’s looking for. Just the touch of his long, slim fingers wrapping around my length makes me shiver and further ease against him. “Let’s sit and wait.”
It takes everything not to moan loudly from how he manages to grip my shaft with this sense of possessiveness. It’s hard to describe it, but it’s as though he owns my cock and gives off this dominant energy that portrays that.
I can only imagine what it would be like if this room wasn’t just the two of us. If other Alphas or even Omegas were forced to acknowledge that the two of us have a stronger connection than what society paints, we should thrive for all our lives.
Can’t an Alpha satisfy another Alpha and cruise in life? Instead of all these rules and implications of us needing an Omega to prosper in life?
“Stop thinking, Kenji,” Kai groans against my flesh and doesn’t hesitate to lightly sink his teeth into the crook of my neck. A moan slips from my mouth, and I’m thankful the line is still on hold, or we’d be caught.
That just further excites me.
“Fuck,” I whisper and turn my head to one side. I’m yearning for Kai’s distracting lips and how they sweep into the rescue, claiming mine in a heartbeat.
He’s stroking my length, all the way from the leaky tip to the thick base where my knot begins to grow and nag at my senses. From the way he’s stroking me, matched with how excited my body is, I don’t think it’ll take long.
“I won’t last,” I admit between breathless kisses.
“Good,” he praises like the menace he is. “More time to massage that knot of yours.”
Fuck…
He knows that’s my favorite part, despite how agonizing it is to knot outside of a hot pulsing pussy. I haven’t gotten to experience it myself, but I’ve had enough Alphas tell me how fucking sensational it is.
It’s what gets these cocky large Alphas on their damn knees before their Omega if it means getting to knot in her for hours.
“K-Kai,” I moan his name as quietly as I can, remembering we’re still on hold. The music is playing loudly, yet it’s in the back of my mind as the pulsing growth of my knot, matched with my creeping need to reach my climax, overrides my senses.
I don’t want to think of anything but this and how easy it is to shut it all out now as my pleasure comes to the forefront.
“A bit more,” I encourage him. My panting is getting louder by the second while his hand works my cock, pumping up and down at a fast pace. Admiring those various veins along his arms and how they pulse out as he works so diligently to please me.
All that noise that was leaving me an anxious mess is suddenly silence, and all I can be thankful for in this heightened moment is Kai’s presence.
His dominance in my life is like a pillar who seeks to keep me afloat.
That observant eye that always grasps when I need a pickup.
He gets me, doesn’t judge me. He craves to accept this shell despite the flaws and imperfections the world enjoys reminding me of again and again.
He cares for me, no matter if I’m deemed crazy to the world.
“Fuck,” I take a hiss and tense up, feeling the rush of pleasure on the verge of ruining me. “Kai… fuck!”
My climax hits me not a second later, clouding my senses as pleasure riddles through me. My moan of relief is far too loud, just like my groan when my knot is the next torturous climb to defeat.
“I got you,” Kai whispers far too tenderly into my ear. He massages my knot after those comforting words, helping ease the tense pain that tries to grip me in its captivity.
It fails miserably, thanks to Kai’s swiftness, his continuous touch and motions bringing on a new form of pleasure that eases the tension in my muscles. Another groan escapes my parted lips as I catch my breath, not realizing just how breathless I am, like before.
I’d be out of my seat and on the floor if Kai wasn’t behind me, giving me that foundation of support, which could have been the real reason why he took this position.
Kai seems to think everything through like some fortune teller.
“A bit better?” he asks when I seem much more relaxed.
“Yeah,” I whisper, feeling thankful for his help. My mind is drowning now. Even though the pleasure is slowly subsiding, I can think straight.
Feels like a while since I felt ‘calm’ inside my head.
That could be why this week has been tricky.
Adding the government meeting we just dealt with, I must have been overstimulated with just everything.
“What about you?” I end up asking as I turn enough so I can have a better look at his face.
“I’m fine.” He assures me and kisses me gently. “You can suck me off later.”
“We can do it no?—”
“Sorry about that,” Alec’s voice replaces the echoing music. “My phone has been blowing up since the announcement.”
“What announcement?” I ask. “The whole new Knot Their Omega movement?”
“No. Another one after that, which is why I was calling to see if you checked with Nate.”
“Why?” Kai’s voice is stern, even though he seems extremely relaxed while he casually continues to massage my knot that’s gone down significantly. He doesn’t have to continue, but I guess his attention is on whatever Alec is talking about.
“The tour may be canceled if your pack doesn’t find an Omega ASAP,” Alec reveals. “I already told Icarus, but he hasn’t gotten back to me yet.”
“Don’t tell me you told Nate this,” I begin to realize that has to be the bad news. “You fucking didn’t.”
“I thought it was best for him to find out now before it goes viral on the tabloids,” Alec whines in dismay. “Everyone knows Nate doesn’t have an Omega. This is going to send things into mayhem, and his phone is probably already blowing up. Better to hear from the team first than from social media that will be fighting to see who he’s going to choose to be his Omega.”
“Well, he can’t just choose someone randomly,” I argue. “And why would we have to pick one right away? Why would his whole tour, which he’s been working toward for two years, be canceled for something as vital as having an Omega? The right one.”
Heck, I’ve dedicated a lot of time to the band, too. I may not be as committed as Nate, but it’s still valuable time spent rehearsing and keeping up with my practices, so I don’t hold the band back.
“The government proposed that any pack without an Omega will lose a number of privileges. This especially applies in the sports and entertainment industry,” Alec reveals. “If you guys can’t find an Omega and either make a bond or propose to the government that you have the intention of being together long term, you lose the privileges given to you as Alphas. Therefore, the tour would be canceled by default. Regardless of your talent.”
“A culling,” Kai mutters.
“That’s exactly what it seems like,” Alec admits before there’s a beep in the background. “Fuck. I’m getting another call. Listen, can you find Nate? Icarus said he’d get back to me thirty minutes, but it’s been two hours, and I haven’t heard shit, so I need someone to check on him. You know he’s a bit crazy when he’s mad.”
“Crazier than me? Shocker,” I mock to try to lighten the worry in my heart. Everyone knows an angry Nate isn’t good. “We’ll reach out to him.”
“Thank you!” Alec replies and hangs up to take his other call.
“Mood ruiner,” Kai grumbles but leans over to kiss my right cheek. “Wash up. We’ll leave in ten.”
“We’re gonna go there?” I question as I look back to see him rise from his chair. I admire the bulge in his pants, though I feel bad I can’t appease him now that we’re off the phone with Alec.
“Nate’s probably a panic mess right now,” Kai admits. “Not good to have him alone and shit. He may also be with those annoying groupies, and they aren’t helpful in situations that need common sense and patience.”
Yeah. He’s right. All they care about is money and signature merchandise to sell online for a fortune.
“Okay. You’re on point there,” I agree and rise up. “If Alec talked to Icarus, maybe he’s on the way to the tour bus as well?”
“Most likely,” Kai agrees. “We’ll have a car in no time. The bus is at our usual hiding spot, so it shouldn’t take us long to get there. We’ll beat the morning rush.”
“Okay.” I head to the bathroom but pause and look back at him again. “How quickly can we do it in the shower?”
He eyes me for a long five seconds.
“You don’t need to return the favor, you know.”
“I know,” I whisper and try not to acknowledge how warm my cheeks feel now. “I want to.” I fight hard not to pull my eyes away from him. To shy away from staring directly into those dark navy-blue eyes.
It’s hard to see the dark shade, but when you look up close, you can see how beautiful the shade is. You can only notice up close. The rest of the world assumes Kai’s eyes are black.
Kai stares at me for five more seconds before he tugs at his tie, loosening it completely. I absentmindedly lick my bottom lip, watching him strip while taking those long steps toward where I stand.
By the time he’s behind me, he’s already shirtless and tugging on his Hermes belt.
“Move quick, Drummer Boy,” he orders, and fuck, I’m moving far too fast at his command.
With Kai, he’s the only one who still excites me in this crazed world.
Maybe I’ll meet an Omega who does the same… and if we’re lucky—which we never seem to be—she’ll be fine with whatever this is between Kai and me .
One day we’ll find out.