22. Everything Has Consequences
Everything Has Consequences
~ASTRAEA~
“ H is finger needs to be in a cast for at least six weeks, and the broken nose will need a checkup every two weeks.”
“Meaning…”
“He won’t be able to sing. Definitely can’t play the guitar.”
All eyes are on me as I stand there, realizing my “loss of control” may have just ruined the tour for Blooming Salvation.
I’m sure everyone is waiting for me to profusely apologize or even look a bit concerned with the news Dr. Malcom has bestowed upon us, but here I stand.
Not showing a pinch of regret in the lines on my face.
Nathaniel Jr. had it coming, and I take pride in being the one to give him a three-point combo reality check. Sure, his pride is going to be broken at the idea of an Omega punching his lights out, but he’ll live.
As for the tour...
“So, what happens with the tour?” I decide to ask the elephant in the room a question because, realistically, if there’s no tour, I’ll no longer be “needed” as a temporary Omega for the pack.
Meaning I’ll have to go back to the Haven…
That has my heart sinking, but I’m trying desperately to ignore just how disappointed I really am. Knox and Velvet always used to tell me that everything has consequences, and realistically, I accounted for them in those intense few seconds when Nate was in my line of view, instructing me to go make him a fucking sandwich.
Yet, now that the circumstances are presented to me with a clearer mind, I’m beginning to wonder if I made the right decision.
I don’t regret what I did, but maybe the timing and execution for payback were too soon.
An arm hooks around me from behind, pulling me into a firm and comforting hug. I feel the slight rest of a chin on the top of my head, leaving me no choice but to stay still and wonder who it is. Doesn’t take my nose long to pick up on the unique scent of mint chocolate with the beautiful mix of hazelnut, almonds, and coffee, which has my stomach flipping in need in a heartbeat.
Nathaníel.
“Nothing happens with the tour,” he announces. “My brother can’t perform. Too bad. I’ll just have to step up to the plate like I always do.”
I can see Kenji and Kai on the far left side of the room and a glimpse of Icarus on the far right. None of them look against the idea, but I still feel a bit… bad.
“But… do you want to tour?” I feel him remove his chin from the top of my head, allowing me to peer up at him. I don’t see the need to hide the slight concern portrayed in my gaze, but I don’t want him to think I feel bad for what I did.
Wasn’t wrong in defending them from a douche of a pack mate… and brother.
“Truthfully, I’ve never gotten the chance to envision myself on tour,” he confesses calmly. “Not to say it never crossed my mind or wasn’t a dream I wished would come true one day, but… after Suzy died and my brother expelled me from the group, I figured it would never happen.”
I wish he’d explain what happened to Suzy, but I know this isn’t the place for that.
“At the end of the day, the fans who bought tickets and are traveling from other countries just to witness this tour shouldn’t be penalized because Nate got injured. Especially when I can be a backup.”
“But what if people find out there’s… well… two of you?” I know there aren’t two of him, but he gets what I mean by how he smirks and casually shrugs.
“That revelation isn’t a big deal. If it comes out we’re twins, I just say I’m the real Nathaniel, and my brother is there for moral support. There are no pictures of us ever together, and even if our childhood photos are leaked, it just proves we’re twins. Besides, our names are almost identical, so it’ll be a bit amusing to see the realization on people’s faces when they realize we’re two different people and everyone’s been acting like we’re not. A good wakeup call for all the other twins out there struggling with similar names.”
When he says it like that, the unease and concern in the pit of my stomach begin to ease.
“So… I can still stay with you guys…” I quietly mutter. “At least until the tour is over.”
“Mhmm,” Nathaníel assures me with a gentle smile that lights up his entire face. If only his brother could be as easygoing. He could be a good person in this crazy world. “Sorry, Rebel, but you’re not going anywhere. Especially when you’re holding up to your name.”
I huff at his commentary while my eyes roll.
“HE started it,” I whine and point to the unconscious Alpha with his wrapped-up nose and casted finger. “The only peace we get whenever he’s around is when he’s unconscious. Besides, why does he always want to pick a fight? Always causing trouble for everyone. He can’t always be like that?” I peel my eyes away from Nathaníel so I can look at the others across the room.
“You guys wouldn’t put up with that behavior or be best friends if he’s always like this, right?”
“You’re right,” Icarus admits, looking at Kenji and Kai. “Don’t really know when he started to act… well, like a grown child. There’s no excuse for his behavior, nor is it something we tolerate.”
“I just assumed he’s stressed,” Kenji admits and shrugs casually. “I know the tour was such an important milestone to him, but this type of behavior… well, it’s weird, honestly.” Kenji looks at his unconscious friend. “As if he’s rushing in life to do everything, and if anyone ruins the plan in his mind, he lashes out.”
“Well, this needs to stop,” Kai emphasizes. “We’re not punching bags. We don’t get the end of the stick of his miserable attitude whenever he has a tantrum or doesn’t get what he wants. He doesn’t have the right to threaten, hurt, belittle, or encourage us to go kill ourselves just because he wants to achieve this fascination of being on the stage before millions.” To see how serious Kai’s expression and voice are, I can tell he’s really mad. “Enough is enough. He’s not going to have any friends if he does this shit again, and right now, I honestly don’t want to associate with him.”
“Kai…” Icarus tries to argue, but I can hear the defeat in his voice.
He knows Kai’s right.
“I’m not going to tolerate any excuse, Icarus,” Kai firmly declares, not hiding his anger in the slightest as he points around the room. “Ever since Astraea arrived, what behavior has Nate shown? Nothing but intolerable misery, chaotic madness, disrespect to the mere idea of us even having an Omega, and continuous degrading behavior to the people he calls friends.”
He’s right. So right that no one can even argue with him.
“I don’t know about you guys, but I like Astraea. I feel an odd sense of life with her in the picture. Feel like the world isn’t a dull canvas with not a pinch of color. Sure, there are sparks of beauty in my life with each of you guys in the picture, but her entrance into our life ignites a flame I thought I’d never feel its warmth again. Why the fuck am I going to allow that to shimmer away because the apparent ‘leader’ of our pack is so fucking insecure and cares about only his needs?”
Kai shakes his head at the spoken words.
“You guys have gotten used to me being so mute, you’ve forgotten the rash individual I used to be. The one who doesn’t like to deal with fucking bullshit and misery. You fuck anything in my life, and I make sure you pay the consequences,” he emphasizes as his voice drops in warning. It’s scary but also… hot. “Nothing is going to ruin my chance of being with an Omega who makes me feel alive again. If you guys feel differently, you can do whatever the fuck you want, but I’m saying it here and now… if Nate threatens those I love again, I’m doing something about it.”
His warning is loud and clear.
“And I don’t care if it leads down a violent path because at least agony and suffering get you results versus words and reasoning,” he declares and points from me to Nate Jr. “Astraea should have never been in the middle of that shitshow to begin with. She shouldn’t be provoked. She shouldn’t deal with any of that shit. She’s supposed to be treated like fucking royalty. That’s our job as Alphas.”
I’m surprised he’s getting so worked up about this. It has to be new because everyone seems shocked and speechless to defy him.
“So, you want to keep babying that fool, go right ahead, but I’m over that shit. I never tolerated it, to begin with.” He shakes his head. “And from now on, Astraea isn’t going to be put into riled situations like what happened tonight. It’s different if she’s training or working out, but intense shit between our pack that’s supposed to be in our control is a fucking no-no.”
He looks at Icarus and points his way.
“You’re OUR leader. I don’t care about no temporary shit. So, act like one and stop having leniency because you’ve known your best friend for eons. All it’s doing is giving him a pass to fuck up OUR lives, and I’m not going to wait for him to shatter everything we’ve waited for because he’s an insecure, cocky ass.”
He then points to Kenji, which has the drummer looking at him in confusion.
“And Kenji!”
“Y-Yes?” He looks innocently nervous.
“If that fucker ever tells you to jump off a fucking cliff again, you’re going to tell us right away, you hear?”
“Uh…”
“Kenji!”
“Y-Yes,” he responds, looking surprised. “B-But…”
“NO,” Kai yells, silencing the room. “There’s no fucking buts. There are no damn excuses! You don’t think your life is fucking essential in this fucked up world?!”
I can see the way Kenji swallows, his Adam’s apple moving up and down.
“You’re important to ME! You are the reason why I fight fucking hard every damn day, despite the crazy fuckery I deal with just because I was born into a family of killers. You ran into a burning building and helped me save the pack of dogs who bring joy into my life. You constantly uplift me. Understand my silence when most people think I’m some stupid mute who has nothing good to offer. YOU have meaning in my life, just like you have an impact on so many others. The way you drum with so much fucking passion that so many kids around the world are getting drum sets just to get a glimpse of the joy you deliver in the few performances they’ve witnessed from you. That doesn’t even include all the other talents you have. How you can sing such beautiful melodies or the way you quietly play guitar in the middle of the night like a fucking lullaby.”
I don’t realize the way my eyes are blurring with tears until I feel the droplets shed down my cheeks.
Kenji looks just as surprised and emotionally moved, his eyes growing glassy by the second.
“The fact anyone can dare say anything bad about you with their big chest grinds my fucking gears. It makes me want to take the power into my hands and DO something about it, and the only reason why I haven’t is because I want a future where you’re still here,” Kai declares. “A future where Astraea is our Omega, and I just enjoy watching you guys tour and live your passions and dreams.”
He lets out a huff, sounding out of breath after saying his truth.
“So if anyone dares try to belittle your existence again, I’ll do something about it. I don’t care if that lands me in fucking jail or exile, and you, of all people, know I won’t hesitate to do it. I won’t be a coward like so many fucking people in this world and let your flame flicker away when you have so much to offer. So much to live for.”
He turns away.
“I’m going for a smoke.”
He’s gone before anyone can say a word, leaving an eerie silence behind.
Kenji wipes at his tears before he quickly mutters, “I’m gonna make sure he’s good.”
He doesn’t need our permission. He’s already leaving after the man who just confessed just how important Kenji is to him.
When they’re gone, I feel the tender touch of thumbs brushing my tears away.
Glancing up to see Nathaníel observing me carefully, he doesn’t say anything. He simply pulls me into a hug and lets me relax against him. I’m shedding tears because my heart is heavy, but no sounds leave me. It’s as if I need to silently mourn the truth and potential sacrifice that could have been bestowed on us and this pack if things had gone differently.
If I hadn’t taken violence as the option to tackle this dilemma, what would have happened? Would Kenji still be here tonight? Would Kai be able to control the urge for vengeance? What would happen to Icarus and Nathaníel?
What’s most frightening is Nate Jr. waking up and probably not even grasping the significant pain and disturbance he’s laid on those he’s supposed to love.
Until he grasps and acknowledges just how lucky he was to avoid catastrophe, he’s going to be the same addict who couldn’t care about anyone else’s dreams but his own.
We can no longer allow that.
“So…” Dr. Malcom speaks up. “I’m going to assume your Omega does kickboxing.”
The comment has me slowly leaning back from Nathaníel’s comforting hug to looking at the doctor in surprise.
“How did you know? Is it obvious?” I ask.
He chuckles and brushes through his navy blue shoulder-length hair.
“I know a Knox punch when I see it,” he declares with pride, watching the way my eyes widen in surprise. “He trained you well. Not too much force to completely damage the target but enough to make a mark that will heal in a short period of time.”
“So… breaking his finger, kicking his balls, and punching his face was fair,” Nathaníel concludes. “From the Doc’s observation.”
Dr. Malcom grins, clearly amused.
“I’ve known Morelli enough to see what a problem he’s been in the last few years,” he announces and looks at Nathaníel specifically. “And you’re never sick since you don’t do stupid shit, so I never see you.”
“Until today,” Nathaníel notes. “Guess you’re pleased we did blood tests with our arrival?”
“Made sense to,” he confesses and walks over to the desk in the room to organize the various stacks of papers. “With the movement, you’d all have to do a health check, particularly your Omega.”
“Am I good?” I ask out of curiosity. I’ve done a check recently anyway, so everything should be fine and dandy, but when it comes to health, anything can change.
Dr. Malcom seems friendly and a healthcare professional who isn’t biased when it comes to the Alpha and Omega dynamic.
Hard to find these days.
“Healthwise, you’re perfect,” he announces, looking directly my way. “I would suggest, though, that we change your patch. The dosage is far too low.”
“Is it?” I wonder, realizing I have to put on a new one. Not only do the patch sites need to be alternated, but you need a few days without it completely. It’s a way to trick our system and preserve the ability to still have our Heats if that’s what we wish.
I’m sure the only reason why we have such a privilege in options is thanks to the developer of this ‘contraceptive’ being an Omega herself. If it was made by an Alpha, I have a strong feeling we’d be dealing with far more misconceptions and dangerous side effects to make our population decline tremendously.
“Have you felt extremely tired or almost fainted since being around your Alphas?” the doctor inquires.
“Uh… a few times,” I confess and look at Icarus specifically. “But… I guess that was because I’m not used to being around Alphas on an around-the-clock basis.”
“That can be a contributing factor, yes, but fainting spells, dizziness, and heat waves when wearing this patch usually means the dose is too low to suppress your Omega urges. In fact, it makes you more vulnerable because it’s easier for an Alpha to overpower your senses and render you at risk of passing out,” he explains.
“Will increasing the dose prevent that,” Icarus speaks up. I can tell he doesn’t like the idea of me “passing out” because he sounds like a defensive lover who’s been told he has to go to war to protect me.
The crazy part is, I feel like he would do exactly that.
“Yes,” Dr. Malcom reveals. “We’ll do it in three doses. The first dose will be a tiny increment but will give off a boost of energy in a few short hours, so I’d suggest coming back tomorrow morning so we can apply it. If I put it now, she won’t sleep, and that just isn’t good for your Omega.”
“Okay,” Icarus slowly nods and looks at Nathaníel. “Do you think you can bring her in the morning? I have a meeting with the board members regarding the tour.”
“Easy,” Nathaníel reveals. “I’m not working, so why not? I’m at your disposal.”
“So cooperative,” I mutter. “Why isn’t your brother like this?”
“Being problematic gets him attention. That’s what he thrives on,” Nathaníel notes. “I don’t thrive on that shit. Doesn’t mean I don’t like gratitude or a form of fame, but it has to be earned. When someone sings and the fans enjoy it, they praise you for it. When you spend eight hours drawing a tattoo on someone’s flesh, they show a sense of gratitude. All of that is earned. If it’s not, I don’t see much validation in causing trouble to try to get negative reactions from people,” he summarizes. “Sadly, my brother hasn’t grasped the detrimental aspects of being a dick yet.”
“From the discussion you guys had, I suggest you sit him down and emphasize how powerful his words and actions can be, especially in a pack setting,” Dr. Malcom says a bit sternly. “Your packmate’s health may be good, but his mental state is questionable.”
We share a concerned look with each other before our attention is on Dr. Malcom.
“You’re talking about Kenji, yes?” Icarus asks for clarification, and Dr. Malcom nods.
“I’m sharing this information as a healthcare professional who has permission from the government to reveal detailed circumstances of a client’s records to their designated pack if it benefits the individual in question,” he summarizes. “Kenji has a history of mental health decline, but that was all triggered by his upbringing and the constant pattern of death and suicide in his family.”
“Wait…” I’m immediately confused. “Suicide in his family?”
“Kenji isn’t an only child. He has three other siblings. Two perished to suicide,” Dr. Malcom reveals, leaving all of us stunned by the revelation. “He has an older sister. It’s been noted in Kenji’s file that if he begins to experience suicidal tendencies, she should be contacted.”
“Is it… good to contact her?” I quietly ask, unsure of Kenji’s relationship with his older sister. “As in, do they have a good connection?” I look at Icarus and Nathaníel, but I can tell they both are unsure from their expressions.
“They have a good relationship,” Dr. Malcom reveals. “Protocol forces me to contact her, but if you wish to reach out to her so maybe she can come visit Kenji to lift his spirits, that would be a good suggestion versus me forcing them to meet here or what the government would want to instill, the mental ward floor.”
“Fuck that,” Nathaníel dismisses the idea immediately. “We can arrange something. Even if we’re about to go on tour, I’m sure we can make it so she can arrive at one of the first stops.” He looks to Icarus. “Can you make it happen?”
“Tomorrow morning, I’ll contact and organize a stop she can join in.”
Dr. Malcom seems pleased with the idea as he bobs his head and returns his gaze to me.
“I would suggest you rest up early, Astraea. Even though your blood results are perfect, I noticed the exhaustion in your body during the examination. Have you been sleeping properly as of late?”
“Ah…” I can’t even try to lie around that question. “It’s been all over the place, but that’s due to this whole new movement and how the implications have been affecting my original place of stay. Havens are being locked down and such… so I’ve been trying to find other arrangements.”
He sighs in understanding.
“I get it and empathize with you. Why don’t you go take a power nap? We have a specific section for Omegas, with each coordinated room having a lock that only your Alphas have the key to. It’s in a nest format, so you’ll be comfortable, even if it’s for an hour or two.”
“Uh…” It sounds inviting, but then I’m worried about the others. Looking at Icarus and Nathaníel, they exchange a look.
“Dr. Malcom has a good point. You need to rest,” Icarus announces. “The last couple of days have been training and a big change in your environment and usual dynamics. I’m sure with you changing your dose tomorrow, you’re going to need to feel more balanced than what you must be feeling currently.”
Nathaníel nods in support.
“Here. Why don’t I walk you over there? You can take a nap, and we’ll wake you up when we’re going to leave.”
“That sounds… really nice,” I confess with a bit of relief because now that I think about it, I’m pretty tired. “Thank you so much, Dr. Malcom. I’ll take that option.”
“Excellent. The section is just out this door and down the hall.”
“I’ll be back,” Nathaníel assures them before he takes my hand with ease and leads the way.
By the time we’re at this section of compartmentalized nests, I’m barely keeping my eyes open.
“Wow. I’m tired,” I confess and even yawn. “How did Dr. Malcom know that?”
“I’m sure he’s worked with plenty of Omegas to know the visible effects of exhaustion from overstimulation,” Nathaníel reveals. “You can barely keep your eyes open.”
“They are open,” I say, but honestly, I’m more focused on how heightened Nathaníel’s scent is in this space. I wonder if the atmosphere is tampered with to invite various scents and keep them circulating in the air. Or some cool shit. I’m trying to think of what technological contractions must be used to make this place feel so comforting, but then I’m drifting at the idea of mint chocolate ice cream.
“Ice cream,” I hum at the image that flickers in my mind. It feels like I’m swaying away and soon sinking into the most comfortable cushion I’ve ever had the privilege of enjoying. I try to open my eyes to visualize what brand of cushion goodness I’m resting in, but I’m so lost in the mixed scents that comfort all the tendrils of anxiety out of me.
I feel so calm and safe, I just want to rest and not worry about the details.
“So comfy,” I mutter. “Mint chocolate ice cream… with coffee. Nice coffee… yum… yum…” At this point, I don’t even know what I’m saying, but fingers are lightly glazing along my skull, further inviting a level of relief and comfort I can’t even describe.
I can’t remember the last time I felt so safe and relaxed.
When I was little? Surrounded by my dad and his pack as I giggled and laughed. Being able to carry no burdens that life delivers and just focus on the happiness brewing within my family.
I can recall all of that now, getting lost in those warm moments and wishing I could experience a pack like Dad’s.
To have a group of men come together and cruise through life with them.
Raising children who run free and squeal in content.
“Sweet dreams, Rebel.” The words are far away, drifting around me as that mint chocolate scent never fades. It hugs me like a glove, keeping me captive in its comforting hold while my consciousness fades away.
At some point, a gentle touch on my forehead is felt and acknowledged in my fading consciousness. The sensation makes me smile as a sense of peace runs through me.
For once in a long time, I let myself go and allow my inner child to enjoy the comforting beauty of safety and peace.