29. Holden
CHAPTER 29
Holden
“I—I need to get to my appointment in Knightsbridge,” Jez mumbles. “Is it okay if I have a shower?”
“Of course,” I say. “Take your time. We’re probably going back to sleep for a bit.”
Jez nods. “Don’t mind me.” Tucked beneath her arm is a wad of clothes and one hand clutches the handle of a toiletry case. She slips into the bathroom and immediately the shower switches on. We all exchange looks and I don’t know about the rest, but I’ve got a definite layer of sweat on my forehead.
This shit is real .
* * *
After another two hours’ sleep at least, we all get up and Jez is long gone. We meet up with Ash, Murray, Ry, and Steve, and find an American-style diner for breakfast. Everyone’s got hats and caps on, and Kai is wearing sunglasses because he’s afraid of a migraine in the sunlight with his lack of sleep.
“You still sound like garbage, Hartley,” notes Ash. “I want you on the steam and the lozenges all the rest of the day until soundcheck.”
“And if you touch any alcohol today I swear to God I will dismantle you,” says Steve brightly, tapping at always on this tablet, barely noticing that his left hand’s lifting his orange juice to his lips.
By the time we’ve all finished our absolutely ginormous plates of flapjacks, maple syrup, bacon strips, and a pile of avocado on toast for me, Ash pulls us aside while Steve goes to pay.
“Jez has finished at the doctor’s and is getting her meds. She said you guys had a chat and it’s out in the open now. All of it.” He lowers his head and gazes directly at Kai, who nods.
“That’s right,” Kai says.
We just didn’t have the chat with her.
“Good. Tonight is your biggest show so far. Go get more rest if you need it, especially you, Kai. Have you discussed what you—you all might do?”
I can tell he’s thinking about Arcadia Echo. They’re on a tour break right now, which is how he’s able to be here. They scented their Omega, Briella, who was also their photographer before they got famous. And apparently it was a rough road at first because they considered her largely just a starry-eyed fan. Well, all except Grayson Cove, their lead singer, who’d been in love with her for years. So Ash has been around some situations.
I wonder if ours is harder to watch.
“We’ll speak with her tonight,” says Kai confidently.
“But have you decided? Are you going to ask her to join your pack? Have you gotten that far in the proceedings yet?” Ash raises a brow, arms crossed and fingers tapping on his bicep.
“Not really,” admits Nico. He looks at me, then Thomas, then Kai. “Are we going to?”
Kai lets out a slow sigh as Steve joins us, placing his wallet back in his back pocket.
“She’s been with the other three. And they seemed to all get on like a house on fire one-on-one. I’m the one standing in the way.”
“Talk to her, Kai. It’s really up to you and her at this point,” I say. “She is a wonderful woman. The past brought us here. And all we can do is offer to make up for the lost time. I love her music. I … I love her. And you want to know what? I always have.”
I thought I would be embarrassed and feel ridiculous admitting this. But at this point it just slides right off of my tongue. Pure, simple fact, without any adornments. I love her. I have since the moment we met, and I first heard her sing and play in a way that transported me, and made certain she would always be in my head. And God, do I regret these three years of hiding it from the guys. Because maybe if I’d been able to feel peace with it, I could’ve saved her a lot of pain, and us, too.
So it’s a jolt to my system when Thomas softly adds, “I do too.” And he looks far away. This is how I know we’re meant to be as a pack—us with her, but also us with us . I think we probably all felt in deep inside, even if we couldn’t put it into words back then.
Nico smiles. “She’s the most gorgeous Omega I’ve ever seen or scented or tasted. We need to make this all up to her.”
“Then it’s down to me,” Kai says. His wrinkled brow contrasts with his hopeful inhale. “Tonight.”
* * *
The roar of the London crowd, night one, is so overpowering I can barely contain my giddy glee. I almost want to do a cartwheel along with Nico on the way off the stage, but I’d undoubtedly break my neck. Give me a ball to kick, a rock face to climb, or a kayak to steer and I’m fine. Flipping my body in a circle without killing someone isn’t on the list.
But the sentiment is there.
During our second song, Kai gave a heartfelt thank-you to “our opening angel, Jez Jacobs,” and I feel like she’s still wearing a blush as we rush into her dressing room (having knocked and been okayed by Caylee, of course) to smother her in a hug.
It feels quite weird, acting this casual with the woman I’ve dreamt about for three years now. But I’ve done more than dreamt, now, and I don’t want to slip back into the void we existed in before this tour, just because her heat seems to have died down.
I don’t want to be no longer needed. I want her to know I’ve wanted her all the time. Maybe we all have.
We throw up a celebratory cheers each with a small glass of bubbly, delivered by Ferny, at the biggest crowd outside a festival that either Fable on Fire or Jez Jacobs has played. They lapped it up. Jez’s set went off—she had fans screaming with her face on their t-shirts, singing every lyric, and I even think a lot of them had started out our fans. It’s the rawness in her songs, like she pours every ounce of honesty into them. And I think everyone can see something remarkable, and relatable, in that.
The minibuses take us and Jez with her bands to the hotel a few streets away, and on the lift ride up, with Jez squarely in the middle of the mirrored elevator, I see Thomas reach out for her hand, and her white-knuckled grip squeeze it. All of us are crammed in here with our rucksacks and totes, and while our revelry has quieted down, we’ve all agreed to have another round of drinks to celebrate the flawless show up in Fable’s suite.
“You sure you guys don’t want to join?” I say to Ry and Gareth. They shake their heads.
“I’m feckin’ exhausted,” Ry says. And I know Gareth’s girlfriend is joining him shortly as she lives in the city and was at the show with a group of friends. But Murray and Shay will join us.
Rooms worked out weirdly this time around. Jez and her bandmates are a few floors down from us, and we ended up with a corner suite. Kai gets a bedroom with an amazing floor-to-ceiling window view of lights rippling on the Thames. In a separate bedroom, the largest room of the suite, Thomas and I each have a king bed. Nico’s got a separate room right next door with an adjoining door, so it’s essentially a 3-bed suite. Not bad for two nights in the Big Smoke.
Nico throws himself back on one of two sofas with a bottle of Riesling in one hand and a glass in the other. He turns to Jez, who’s sitting in the other corner of the sofa, bare feet with glittery blue toenail polish tucked up underneath her.
“How does it feel to have stood in front of all of London and nailed every note?”
He holds up a hand to high-five her, which she smacks with a loud slap. I grin. Girl’s got muscle. Nico turns his palm to his face with a look of horror. The whole thing is red.
“Damn girl, remind me not to get into a scrap with you,” I say.
“I wouldn’t,” says Murray, leaning against the balcony door. “I watched her help the techs move some crates the other day and she can lift.”
Nico laughs. “I like how you say you ‘watched.’”
“Yeah, can’t be injuring these delicate babies.” Murray mimes a drumroll. Jez snorts, and Shay pours her another glass of the rosé she’s drinking.
Noticeably quiet now though is Kai. He sang his heart out tonight, and we all pounded him on the back with gratitude and awe. But he’s barely said a word since then. He’s been sucking down a bag of throat lozenges and drinking only water since then. The fizz in Jez’s dressing room was the only alcohol he’s had, whereas the rest of us are at least on our third glass of wine, or in Shay’s case, cider she brought with her from the bus.
Thomas must really be shit-faced by this point, because he stands up on the coffee table with a tea towel wrapped around his neck, which clearly is a stand-in for Ash’s cowl scarf, and proceeds to do an absolutely spot-on impersonation.
“No alcohol tonight, chaps, or I’ll have your fucking fannies nailed to the wall. I’m not handing you over to Steve in two weeks acting like a bunch of inebriated baboons who can’t keep their fuckin’ avocados on toast down for five minutes.” He jabs a finger in Kai’s direction, swinging his bottle around and nearly bashing Murray on the shoulder. I’m laughing so hard I feel like I’m about to piss myself, doubled over and buzzing.
“And Hartley,” Thomas slurs. “Stay on that steam, you abominable fuck waffle. If you can’t sing tomorrow, I’m going to have to force one of these intolerable walking thumbs to take your place and they can’t sing for shit.” He gestures lazily around at me and Nico, who’s creasing at Thomas’s rare display of humor and tipsiness.
And in the middle of it, I glance over at Jez, who is grinning so hard she looks like she’s never been happier. And something inside me breaks apart and stitches back together with pure joy.
I run to grab one of the guitars we carry around just for songwriting, and hoist it in the air like a trophy. A cheer of “YEAAHHH go on then!” goes up, and I start strumming one of Jez’s songs.
Her eyes widen and she clamps a hand over her mouth, then she stands and sets down the bottle but keeps the glass, sloshing it slightly on the beige carpet.
“Oh my God, it sounds like you’ve been practicing that!” she gasps.
“Then sing it, if you please,” I say with a grin. She dives right in and Shay joins her. Murray holds a finger to his mouth and shushes us, but he’s laughing at Thomas trying to start a one-man chorus line on the table, until Nico climbs up to join him. Even Kai is laughing and singing at this point. By the second chorus, he slings an arm around Jez, the two of them swaying back and forth, other arms out holding their respective drinks.
“My guitar skills are shocking—apologies, Jez,” I say, but I keep strumming and slowly transition into a Fable song. I’m not even playing the right key but nobody cares and we all sing in unison.
About three more tunes and another round of drinks and several busted-open bags of crisps later, and Kai wobbles to his feet. He’s the only sober one, but he’s not fucking well at all.
“I gotta get to bed, chaps. I’ll have no voice tomorrow otherwise. Carry on. Closing my door but you lot have fun.”
He turns to Jez who is leaning against Shay, who’s now asleep, and he bows then nods at her. I don’t know if they exchanged words, but I watch with interest and say rather loudly, as the room is twirling around haphazardly, “Maybe we should eat something so we don’t feel so shitty in the morning.”
Not sure how this translated into what I really meant, which was hydrate, but Thomas gets the picture and manages to grab water bottles from the fridge in the kitchenette area and pass them around. Murray nudges Shay, waking her up. “C’mon, let me get you back to your room.”
“You guys get back okay, you hear?” I say, as though they’ve got to traverse the bush to get down the corridor to the lifts and their rooms. They both nod and disappear, and then it’s just me, Nico, Thomas, and Jez.
We sit in relative silence, downing our water and snacking on crisps and a small fruit bowl someone snagged, until Jez says, “We should write a song together.”
“What,” chuckles Nico. “Tonight?”
“Sure, why not? You’re amazing with words on the spot, Nico,” Jez says. She gets up and rummages around, returning to the seating area with someone else’s acoustic. She gives it a quiet strum and fiddles with tuning. I strum mine and then we’re off, just noodling about.
After a few minutes, Jez is leading the way, pulling me into an intriguing melody that slides down an octave from the start of the phrase to the end before climbing back up. Nico and I fall in line vocalizing, random oohs and aahs, and then he kicks in with some lyrics once he’s had time to feel out the bit that seems chorus-shaped.
And I could go on a stage without you
Let the lights shine where your eyes ought to be
but I couldn’t win a war within you
that would set any captives free
You could go on alone without me
And your life would know beauty and light
The heartstrings would dance as we changed key
but our hopes would end with the night
I’m not sure if he’s trying to say anything at all with the words he’s starting to play around with, but Jez and I silently agree to keep playing the chorus she’s crafted while he wrestles through different phrases. In the end, this one sticks, and we move on to finding a verse, Jez leading us every step of the way.
As she tries out different chord progressions and I fumble around to keep up, Thomas sits up in his seat, balancing his empty water bottle on the top of his head.
“Are your new suppressants working then, Jez?” I ask.
I keep playing but Jez stops and looks at me, then picks up the melody we’re working out before she answers. “I suppose it’s obvious, isn’t it?”
“Well, all night we’ve been in here,” I say, “and you’ve seemed quite chill.”
“He speaks truth,” adds Thomas, holding his arms out straight as he manages to keep the bottle on his head. At this point Nico chucks his at it and both plastic bottles shoot across the room to hit the wall. “Mature, Fiore.”
Jez nods as she locks eyes with me when we find a progression that feels right, and I think we both know it. We smile and jam around this, but she keeps talking, slowly. As if coming to terms with the fact she can be open around us. Even if we’ve only been vulnerable with her each on our own so far.
“The doctor said they could take a while to kick in properly, so for the next few months it could still be—up and down. Could get some symptoms like dizzy spells, which I don’t want on stage. So, I haven’t started them yet.”
I stop playing and try not to gape. “You’re going to stay off? Until the tour ends?”
She nods and bites her lip. “It seems the best way. I’d rather risk heat while I’m safe then dizziness while on stage. Or worse. Vomiting during a set sounds like an unholy nightmare.”
She’s starting to flag as her fingers slow down and her shoulders slump slightly forward. I’m fucking exhausted, too. But I could play alongside her all night. I could sit and watch her all night. Whatever, with her. All night.
I thought I could tell her heat wasn’t over, but she wasn’t in a frenzy at the moment, and has seemed comfortable all evening.
Then I think about what she’s just said, and exchange a look with Thomas. He heard it too. She’d rather risk heat while she’s safe.
She feels safe around us. That’s the best news I’ve ever heard.
But there’s a catch. “ While I’m safe.” She isn’t considering we might want her as part of our pack—that when the tour ends, we’ll still want her with us.
I set the guitar gently on the kitchen counter and walk back to the sitting area, sitting on the sofa beside her. She gives me an inquisitive look, then leans her guitar up against the wall beside the balcony door.
And without a word, she places her hand on my knee. Thomas is sitting in the armchair opposite, and Nico’s cross-legged on the floor in front of the balcony, which we cracked open for some air earlier.
Then she looks around to all three of us.
“Can we try to show you you’re safe at all times? Not just when you’re in heat?” says Nico softly. “I think I speak for all of us when I say, you’re one in a million, and we have so far to go to make up for the past. But we know you are the Omega we’re meant to protect.”
I take her hand from my knee and hold it between both of mine. “Nico’s right, Jesamine. We have a long fucking way to go. But we could start here, now. Not just about helping you through your heat. But showing you that our purpose here first and foremost is to look after and serve our Omega. Professional goals, touring, recording, the band—all of it is important parts of who we are. But our Omega is what has always been the goal to come first for us.”
“And we want you to cum first, always,” murmurs Thomas. “Yfrette.”
This yanks Jez’s soft, glowy gaze from my eyes straight to Thomas’s. Suddenly she seems stone-cold sober, alert, and hollowed out. But the shock in her face from whatever he’s said to her quickly turns to pure joy.
She leaps to her feet and throws her arms around Thomas, then pulls back to look him in the eye.
“Azalaun?”
He smiles and nods, and she wrenches him back to her body, hugging him so tightly.
I exchange a look with Nico. “What the hell is this?” I say. Nico shrugs.
Jez and Thomas are in the throes of a seemingly never-ending embrace. He buries his nose in the hollow of her neck, eyes closed, and she kisses his forehead.
“It’s you,” I think she whispers. “All these years, all those quests.”
“Wait, wait,” says Nico. “Is this some video game bullshit?” He’s grinning wide and scratches at his head. “It is, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” says Jez, beaming. “So it means I have a bit more connection to Thomas than I realized. But there’s plenty of room to go around.” She turns to Nico and gestures for him to draw closer.
“Just to be clear, are you saying you’d like to offer us said room? Right here, right now?” Nico asks as he kneels to her left on the floor.
“God, yes. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about any of you,” she murmurs. Her voice is husky, and she licks her lips, sharing a look with each of us. I feel my cock stiffening in my trousers.
I climb up on the sofa and slide around behind her so she’s leaning back into my erection. Gently I take the hem of her top and peel it off over her head. “Your wish is our command,” I whisper into her ear. “You’re a goddess among Omegas, Jesamine Jacobs, and we have a lot of catching up to do.”
“Three years, in fact,” she breathes, her shallow intake of air revealing the depth of her anticipation. I wonder how long she’s wanted this, all three of us showering her in the attention she so deserves. It’s too bad Kai isn’t here, but I have no doubt he will find a time to show his own devotion. He of all four of us has the most to express to her.
“But we’re not here to get lost in the past. It’s you we want to get lost in. And maybe, never emerge from,” I say, between a series of kisses I dot along her shoulder, across her back and neck, and to the other shoulder. She pulls her turquoise braided hair aside.
Her skin is so soft, so delicious with the scent of spring blooms and fresh rain. She’s the breath of air my lungs have waited for. With a shudder of a sigh, she turns slightly and gives me a look of pure aqua joy.
Nico is leaning in to stroke her cheek and slowly undo her braid to let her hair hang free, as Thomas bends down to her chest, placing a trail of kisses around the tops of her exposed breasts. He slides to one side to give Nico access to the other.
Soft moans slip from her full lips, and I slide my legs around either side of her on the edge of the sofa. I start unhook her bra with my teeth while my hands cup her breasts and lift them up for Thomas to kiss.
Jez giggles. “What’re you doing back there?” she asks with a delighted gasp.
When my teeth snap the hook closure off, Thomas’s appreciative sounds increase in volume.
“Freeing your magnificent breasts,” I say with a sly smile. I gently pull her back against me as Thomas’s mouth makes its way down her abdomen as he slides her shorts and underwear off. Nico’s mouth proceeds to worship her left breast while his hand cups and squeezes the other, lifting and weighing it.
“God, you’re wet. Not in heat but still soaked,” Thomas says.
“Just the way we like our Omega,” says Nico. He lowers his lips to her breast and suckles her hardened nipple into his mouth, the other hand now reaching down, running the length of his cock through his trousers.
“I’m almost there already,” she murmurs, eyes closed as she leans back into me, my cock pressing into the small of her back as I trace my hands around her, along her delicate collarbone and running them up her neck and into her hair. Just touching her skin, anywhere on her angelic body, is the most devastatingly exquisite foreplay I’ve dreamt of for these three long years.
“Are you ready for more, then, beautiful Jesamine?” asks Thomas softly. When she nods, I slide my hand around to take her free right breast in my hand and massage the glorious orb in circles with my palm.
“God, you are so perfect,” I whisper into her ear, before sliding my lips down the side of her neck and burying my nose and mouth in the crook between her neck and shoulder, inhaling her like I could take all of her into my soul just through her scent alone.
Thomas lowers down to her core, wet and waiting between her legs spread before him. From Jez’s whimpers and moans, Thomas’s tongue is in action while Nico strips off his trousers and holds his cock out with one hand before Jez as an offering.
“I want that in me, now,” she says, looking him up and down. He nods and steps forward to position his shaft bear her mouth. She takes it in her left hand and slowly pumps it, clearly enjoying the feel of silky skin sliding over his cock. Watching this makes me even harder, my own cock stabbing her in the back. I so badly want to bend her forward and thrust inside that beautifully tight ass, but I will be patient. I focus my mind on her pleasure, soothing any remnants of heat that remain, or heat that’s returning, first and foremost, always, and let Thomas complete the job he’s set out for himself.
In the same moment she takes Nico’s cock into her tiny hands, Jez’s hips and thighs buck off the edge of the sofa.
“Oh, fuck me, that was amazing, Thomas” she manages. “Azalaun.” And she almost blushes, gasping for her breath. Thomas leans back, his face painted with her slick, and a smile of intense pleasure beaming underneath.
“Yfrette,” he says, and sits up to place a tender kiss on her forehead. “Even more beautiful in real life.”
“I need to confess. I’ve never been with more than one Alpha at a time.” She gives a gentle shrug with her hands still cradling Nico’s cock, one slipping to cup his balls gently, stroking them as he groans lightly.
“You’re doing just fine, trust us,” says Nico. Thomas nods from behind her.
“Perfect,” he says.
Jez’s brows raise in concern but she smiles, nodding.
“No, really, angel,” I say to her, taking her chin in my hand so she looks me in my eyes and sees the sincerity there. “You are doing everything perfectly. We could not ask for anything more, and we deserve nowhere near as much as you are. Do you understand?”
She blinks, looking into one eye then the other. Then her bright smile is back.
“I never realized—I never noticed you have different coloured eyes!” she says excitedly. “They’re so beautiful, blue and green. My two favorite colors.”
I wink at her. “I’ll try to keep them on you, then, while I attend to my duty.”
With that, I slide my cock to her lower lips, teasing them with the head, dipping it into her soaked folds only slightly then out again. Her legs are spread wide as Thomas massages and cups her breasts from behind.
She guides Nico into her mouth, then begins to bob up and down on his cock, as my cock slides in and out of her core slowly, my hands gripping her hips as I kneel on the carpet before her.
Nico gives a low grunt, trying hard to hold back, but if he’s anything like me, he could let loose without warning. Her scent has us in its spell, and all of our Alphas have answered this siren call. But the only thing we’re crashing into is the need of this sweet, sexy, smoldering Omega who needs what only we can provide her.
She continues to suck Nico off, her small hands wrapped around his shaft, sliding between her wide open lips and his inflating knot. Her eyes stay closed and she moans in anticipation until the moment Nico’s whole body goes rigid, and he reaches out for the side of the armchair behind him, pulling out from her lips and sliding down onto the floor. She wipes her mouth with a quivering hand and an overjoyed smile.
“Jesus, Jez, you took it all. Are you all right?” asks Nico.
She nods, blinking up at him with that grin, then turning her gaze to me.
“Your turn, Mr Pearce. Make me your Omega now,” she murmurs to me, and I swear to God, I nearly shoot my load over her lap with those words alone. But I center myself again, breathing slowly, unblinking as I gaze into her sea-swept eyes, desperate to convey how much space she’s taken up in my mind for three long years.
“As you wish, my sweet angel,” I breathe.
Behind her, Thomas places his arms on her shoulders, giving her a slow, deep massage, which forces her breasts and their rock-hard tips up and forward. Nico returns to suckling on those astonishing breasts, pressing them together and squeezing both nipples in turn. She squirms with pleasure, moaning as her slick continues to wash over me with each deepening thrust inside her inviting warmth.
Her legs squeeze around me, trapping me in the only place I want to be, enveloped in these thighs. My hands curl around the soft flesh there. The variety of sensations from all three of us must be overwhelming.
I feel her core squeeze around my cock and hold it there on the last thrust, as my seed erupts out of me and spreads into her.
Thomas leans back against the sofa, his hands resting around her hips as I lean into her, pressing my chest to her naked breasts, holding her tight to me through the pulsing of her orgasm. Finally, she goes limp, her hands reaching up to my shoulders and circling around the back of my neck. Her lips meet mine and crash like the ocean against me, her song flooding my cells.
I want her, I want this, every moment of every day. This Omega is our life, our past, our future—everything we needed. Everything we waited for.
I pull out and she lets go, an exhausted but triumphant smile on her flushed face. Thomas slides along on the sofa and together we lean her back into the corner where she sat earlier.
I grab a blanket from the bed and cover her. Nico leans against the sofa on the floor, resting his head against the armrest, gazing up at our Omega— our Omega.
She wants to be ours. Hell, I think she’d let us mark her. But we have to take certain steps. We have to let her and Kai have a moment to talk things through.
And then, oh, holy mark that I’ll place on her skin the second she asks. Marking her with my scent, with all our scents. Letting the world and every other Alpha in it know that she is spoken for, she is protected, she is ours.