Chapter 38
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Halley
I’m miserable. My body hurts and I’m exhausted. I sleep in fits and wake in startled gasps, unable to settle despite my bone aching tiredness.
This morning, when I slump into the dining room chair, I barely grunt at Blaze as he places a bowl of cereal and a mug of coffee in front of me.
Even the hit of caffeine does nothing to rouse me from my zombie-like state.
Blaze usually stares at my mouth while I eat like each bite is a pornographic act, yet this morning a frown steadily deepens as he watches me.
I’m halfway through breakfast when he slinks from the kitchen tent with a purposeful set to his shoulders.
My inner Omega weakly protests. The little freak likes how he oversees my meals.
I can’t be sure, but I think we’re both being driven by some primal Alpha and Omega instincts.
His need to provide for an Omega, and my need to be taken care of.
If I were a proper Omega, one destined for a mate, I’d know.
But I’m not, so I never learned the instinctual dynamics between our designations.
“Omega Sparks, you’re with Shade today,” Knox’s voice clips abruptly from behind me. I squeak in alarm, coffee sloshing over the side of my mug and splattering on the worn table below. “And clean that up. We’re not your maids.”
Vitriol is on the tip of my tongue. I’m too tired to care about the consequences for my smart mouth. It’s not my fault Blaze wants to cater to my needs. And I’d never expect them to clean up after me like some kind of princess.
I spin in my seat and the words die on my lips. Instead, I make a whimpering sound.
He’s come straight from a shower and I’m utterly captivated.
Knox’s short hair is wet, droplets of water dripping down his thick neck onto his naked chest. His skin glistens, highlighting his defined pecs and abs.
Like a trap laid carefully for unsuspecting Omegas, my eyes trace the distinct V trailing down into the towel wrapped around his hips.
I stare, wide eyed, until his brow furrows. “Well?”
“Huh?” I blink rapidly, and tear my gaze away from his body to look at the Prime Alpha’s face.
He’s giving me a weird look. His nostrils flare and I redirect my eyes to the ground.
Shame wells in me as I realize I’m perfuming.
I hate how my arousal’s broadcast to them.
It makes me miss the binoculars on the rooftop with my friends.
No one judged us for acting like healthy Omegas lusting after Alphas.
“You’re with Shade today,” he repeats, as if he thinks I’m slow. “Clean up and meet him on the west edge of camp in ten minutes.”
He doesn’t wait for a response.
I watch him walk away and it’s all I can do not to drool. I have to press my thighs together and shift in my seat. He’s such an asshole and yet I’m insanely attracted to him.
Hell, it’s the main reason I can’t sleep. There are four men I’m lusting after sleeping only a few feet away.
I pick up the dirty coffee cup and drop it in the bucket acting as the camp sink. A quick scrub and then I’m heading out to meet Shade. I have no clue which direction is west, but I eventually find him leaning against the trunk of a tree.
Shade has his tablet out and he’s rapidly scrolling, his eyes darting back and forth as he reads data at hyper-speed. I know he’s smart. Actually, insanely intelligent might be a better way to describe him, but I haven’t had the chance to really talk with the Beta Specialist.
I stand awkwardly a few feet away, unwilling to interrupt his unwavering focus.
“Come over here,” he eventually beckons, putting the tablet into a satchel at his side, and I shuffle toward him, a little uncertain. He makes me nervous in a different way than his squad mates. I have a strange urge to please him. The thought of disappointing him makes me itchy all over.
“So, um, what are we doing today?”
He watches me, his keen gaze studying my face, tracing the lines of my slumped shoulders in an evaluating way. I still feel it like a physical touch and lean into it, perfume once again blossoming between us.
“Blaze was right. You look awful. We’ll do some tech training today instead,” he states, and there’s no room for argument in his tone.
I wither inside and my scent sours. They all think I look awful? I’ve been too tired and sore to really care about my appearance, but I must look like a disaster.
His nose wrinkles, and he purses his lips.
“Besides, it’s best we get you out of camp today. Give everyone some time to cool off.”
I want to ask what he means, but he’s already gesturing at me to follow him into the forest. He doesn’t walk quickly. In fact, it’s more of a leisurely stroll through the lush green forest and I quickly find myself relaxing.
We walk for a long time in silence, my lungs filling with the fresh air and my tight muscles relaxing with the gentle exercise. The birds chirp happily around us, their songs lifting my spirits.
“This is one of my favorite places,” Shade finally speaks.
“The forest?” I ask, peering at him through my peripheral vision. He nods.
“It reminds me of home.”
“Oh?”
“Before the military took me, my family lived next to a forest. The trees were much thicker and the birds sound different, but being among trees feels like home.”
“Do you get to visit your family?” I ask, climbing over a fallen tree trunk. Shade extends a hand to steady me and I take it with a smile.
He simply shakes his head as a response.
I get it. I haven’t seen my family since I left and don’t like talking about it. Instead, I widen my smile and change the subject. “It’s lovely out here. I can see why you like it.”
Truthfully, I’ve been too busy trying to survive my training to pay attention to the scenery.
We continue our walk until we reach the base of a towering tree. Before I can ask what we’re doing, Shade effortlessly pulls himself up onto a branch and straddles it. He reaches up and I finally notice the camouflage camera strapped to the trunk.
“Surveillance,” he says without me asking. “The Alphas’ enhanced senses are useful for monitoring the camp border, but it’s not a perfect system. They have to sleep and can get… distracted.”
He looks down at me from his lofty height, and I flush.
He’s talking about me. I’m a distraction.
“I have cameras and sensors set up around the forest to alert us to any unwanted visitors.”
He inspects the device, checking it over and repositioning it.
As easily as he climbed the tree, he jumps down, swinging from the branch to control his descent.
I’ve never seen a Beta move like him and I watch him like Blaze watches me eat.
His biceps strain and flex, and my perfume makes another appearance.
His words finally process and I’m suddenly alarmed. “Wait, unwanted visitors?”
He shrugs. “Yeah. Nothing’s been detected yet, but we’ve had problems in the past in this region.”
I’m so lost. What is he talking about? I don’t know much about the outside world, but I could have sworn we were still within Fathim’s borders.
“Why… who would want to cause us problems? We’re military. We’re on their side,” I ask, worrying my bottom lip between my teeth.
He looks down at me for a long time. I wonder, not for the first time, what he sees when he looks at me.
“They really don’t tell Omegas anything, do they?”
I open my mouth to reply, but close it. Truthfully, I have no idea what the state of the world is other than what I’ve been told.
“The military isn’t exactly well liked in the general population. Too many kids stolen from families, too many deaths without explanation. Betas are expected to comply with Alpha orders, and not every Alpha is careful with their Commands. Not to mention the Omega issue.”
“Oh,” is all I can say.
‘The Omega issue’ echoes through my mind.
He leads me further into the forest, and I trail behind him, lost in thought. With each camera and sensor Shade checks, he takes the time to explain the process. He shows me the maintenance procedure and the tests he runs to ensure they’re working.
“You said you were taken…” I begin, my thought not fully formed but my curiosity burning in my chest. “Can you tell me about it?”
He stops mid-stride and turns to look at me. “I can, but not everyone is comfortable talking about what happened to them. I wouldn’t ask the others about their experiences unless they mention it themselves… especially Blaze.”
My heart pangs for Blaze. I can tell he’s the most damaged of the team; his body is a canvas of scars, and despite his jovial attitude, his eyes hold a haunted, tormented depth.
“I won’t say a word to anyone else,” I assure him. “I just want to understand why the population is angry at the military. For me, The Omega Division was a safe haven, a port in a terrible storm. I know it’s not perfect, but it saved me.”
“Okay,” he agrees, and his eyes are soft as he gazes at me. I know he sees me, not the Omega designation, or the burden dumped on his team, but a woman looking for answers.
“I grew up in a small village in the east where the accents are sharper and our traditions run deep,” he begins, and we resume walking.
“Our community was supportive and full of extended family. I had a mother, a father, and a younger sister. Each night I’d help cut up her dinner with a knife and fork.
I felt so big and grown up, having this responsibility. I liked having someone to care for.
“Then the military visited our territory. We expected them to come for the Alpha children, to take them to the military to defend the border as they have for generations, but they also focused on me. I’d tested off the charts in intelligence and analytical aptitude, and they wanted me trained in The Beta Specialist Division.
I didn’t want to go, and my family protested, but we didn’t get a choice.
My childhood ended at seven years old. From that moment, I was a soldier being trained to be an asset to our country. ”
“Shade,” I breathe, my eyes swimming. “I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah, well, it worked out. I get to play with some pretty cool tech,” he shrugs, like he’s shaking off his memories.
It’s an oversimplified story, and I can’t help but feel there is a trove of untold cruelties lurking beneath the surface.
I’ve seen glimpses of the training they put soldiers through, but I didn’t know they were kidnapping and training children.
My family never produced Alphas, and our Betas were nothing extraordinary. I’ve been so isolated my whole life.
I feel na?ve for never wondering how they created super soldiers, and I feel guilty for making him relive it.
“Let’s keep moving.” He gives me a small smile, and I return it. Despite the horrifying revelation, I feel closer to Shade.
I spend a lot of time churning over his words.
The general population doesn’t like the military.
They steal children to train for war. The Alphas in charge lord their Alpha Command over the Beta population, forcing them to comply.
My perspective of the military being some great protector feels like it’s shattered, and I’m scrambling to pick up the pieces.
We walk for hours, and Shade tells me stories about his sister.
I enjoy hearing about her, imagining a young version of him caring for her like he does the squad.
It makes sense that he’s taken on the sensible Squad Daddy role.
I don’t call him that name aloud though, remembering how it made his eyes burn for me.