Chapter 67 #2
His Alpha Command is a hot poker to the brain, tearing through my resolve and making my eyes water.
I look up at the man I’ve come to care for, and am overwhelmed by the betrayal flashing in his vibrant red eyes.
He thinks I’m a traitor to the squad. He’s wrong. I might have deluded myself into thinking I’m one of them, but my allegiance is, and always will be, to the Omegas.
“No,” I grit out between clenched teeth. The taste of iron is thick on my tongue and I know I’ve bitten through my cheek. I swipe my tongue over my teeth, licking the blood off them.
“Fuck, Knox. Stop treating her like she’s the enemy,” Blaze calls.
“If she wants to leave, let her,” Viper says with venom, and my heart clenches. My big guy has given up on me.
Knox snarls and grabs my arms, squeezing my biceps, and stares into my eyes. “You will not disobey your Prime Alpha, Omega Sparks.”
The compulsion to obey is overwhelming, threatening to drag me to my knees so I can prostate myself in submission.
The shimmering energy beneath my skin flares in a violent surge.
“Let. Me. Go.”
He staggers back, each word a punch to his gut.
His expression breaks and emotion spills out. “I can’t. I can’t let you go. You belong to us, don’t you understand?”
My heart melts for a moment, letting his words wash over me. They’re almost sweet. But he said… I belong to them. Not with them. To them.
I rip away from his grasp. “I don’t belong to anyone, you jerk!”
The Alpha Command shatters, and despite my feet feeling like lead, I start walking away again.
“Wait, wait, Halley!” Blaze shouts, jogging up beside me.
“Stop, Blaze,” I say with finality, and his feet root to the ground immediately.
I pause and turn, not wanting to look back, but unable to leave them with nothing. Blaze is looking at me with big, mournful eyes.
“Don’t,” my voice quivers, and I swallow down my emotion. I point to him, my vision blurring with unshed tears. “Don’t ask me to go to the military with you, Blaze. Because I can’t. My friends need me and I’m not going to abandon them.”
“We need you,” he says in a pained voice.
“No, you don’t. You want me. It’s different.”
“You feel it too. I know you do. We’re your Pack! And you’re our Omega!” he shouts, his fists bunched up at his sides, but his feet are bolted to the ground.
“It was just a dream.” I smile weakly, and sigh. “A nice one, but a dream nonetheless.”
I let myself look at the others, their feet planted firmly.
Viper isn’t looking at me, betrayal vibrating through his hunched shoulders.
I want to run to him, to burrow my face into his chest, the safest place I’ve ever known, and tell him it’ll be okay.
But it’s not okay. It was never going to be okay.
They can’t see it because they don’t have all the information. I haven’t told them the truth.
I inhale deeply and look up. Wispy, white clouds race across the blue sky, the afternoon sun illuminating the branches at the tippy-top of the trees. The leaves, caught up in the wind, rustle and rage, making the forest feel alive with their hum.
Exhaling, I look back at them and know this will be the last time they look at me with wanting.
“I can’t be your Omega because I’m defective.” I fix my gaze on Knox. He’s the one who will understand. He’ll make the decision for the squad and hold them to it.
I open my mouth to utter the words, but a raspy sound escapes instead. It’s been so long since I’ve said it out loud. My deepest shame. The reason I was denied a mate. The reason I was branded defective.
“I’m infertile.”
I don’t let them speak. I plow on, needing to get this confession out before it burns a hole in my chest.
“I’m a broken Omega. I can’t do the one thing I was born to do. They wouldn’t give me a mate. They wanted to send me to the capital as a whore, shared around for the pleasure of Alphas without the strings attached.”
I screw my eyes up and shake my head emphatically, the one loose strand of hair whipping against my face. “I wouldn’t. I couldn’t.”
“Halley—” Shade begins to say, his voice soft and understanding. I can’t let him speak. He’ll talk me down, and I can’t afford to be drawn in by his allure.
“Quiet,” I say with conviction, and like magic, his lips clamp shut. His eyes are wide, and his hand flies to his mouth.
“The Omega Division hasn’t just been my home, it’s been my sanctuary. And those three defective Omegas in there with me…” I inhale, and exhale on a sob. “They’re my family.”
My voice catches and my hands tremble.
I wipe my eyes, trying to compose myself. “I’ve been deluding myself, thinking you could be my Pack. That you’d want me even though I’m… not suitable to take a mate, let alone four. It was selfish, and I’m sorry.”
I sigh, and a weight lifts off my chest. I hadn’t realized I’d been carrying around the guilt of keeping my secret from them.
At first, I suspected that they knew. That they’d read my files and medical records and knew what was wrong with me.
As time passed, it became clear General Stone had kept them in the dark.
They really were clueless when it came to The Omega Division too.
It made me wonder how much of a secret our existence was.
They remain silent, with only the sound of their heavy breathing breaking the silence.
I adjust my backpack and, with one last Omega Command, I sever our ties.
“Don’t follow me.”
With a deep breath, I turn and begin my descent down the mountain, the wind whistling in my ears.
Each step feels like agony, and the press of their gaze like hot pokers on my back until I turn a corner, and then they’re gone.
And so is my heart.
A tear trickles down my cheek, and I let it fall to my chin, my breath coming in shallow rasps. I pick up speed, the urgency to save my friends pushing me forward, the knowledge that the squad will never be my pack now, makes my stomach clench in agony.
I need to get my emotions under control, and focus on one thing: Finding Dazz, Ember, and Flicker, and getting us all somewhere safe while the country implodes.
If I have any chance of making it to them alive, I have to focus. I have to remember everything I’ve learned about being a soldier, but most of all…
I have to forget Scorch Squad.
To be continued.