Chapter 18 #2
The others follow my lead, cutlery clinking against the plates punctuated by the sounds of Blaze's noisy chewing.
Viper remains suspiciously silent. Not a stray thought from him enters my mind, but I can feel his nerves and hopeful energy jittering in my chest, and it feeds into my anxiety.
I pick at the edge of my meat, chewing in slow, thoughtful bites like I’m in control of anything in this room. I’m not.
They’re waiting.
Watching.
I know the tactic. Knox taught it to me himself. Wait long enough, and the silence does the dirty work for you.
It’s working. I know that it’s a trap, but the pressure of their eyes and the words unspoken is unbearable.
I have to say something to break the tension. Except, I don’t have a clue where to start.
How can I explain to them how I feel when I'm not even sure myself?
Frack.
I put my knife and fork down, my fingers trembling as I grip the edge of the table.
“I…”
The word sticks like glue, but I force it out.
“I’m glad you’re all okay.”
Time stretches out. They don’t reply, just wait for me to fill in the space. My heart beats louder and louder.
Their eyes are heavy on me, pressing down like a physical weight.
More silence. More waiting.
Again, I can’t stop myself from filling the empty space. I can’t stop it. The words spill out of me in a tangled rush, like someone yanked the thread and everything I’ve been holding in just unravels.
“I shouldn’t have left like that. Everything happened so fast and I panicked.
I’ve never been someone’s mate before, let alone with a Pack, and I don’t even know how to be someones Omega, and then Everlyn told me my family was taken and I just…
I had to go. They’re my responsibility. My family.
I couldn’t just leave them to their fate without trying.
I was scared. I didn’t want to put you in a position where you had to choose between the military and me.
I couldn’t risk that. So I made the choice for you and… I left.”
Knox puts down his knife and fork and steeples his hands in front of his face.
I force myself to meet his gaze.
His eyes are still that same deep, blood-red shade.
Frackity-frack.
I’d forgotten just how handsome he is.
Not in a casual way. Not in a passing, oh-he’s-cute kind of way. No, he makes my inner Omega tilt her head with her tongue lolling out as drool pools. He is the embodiment of everything my Omega craves. The definition of strength. The ultimate soldier.
Two days ago, when everything was blood and screaming and survival, I couldn’t see it. I didn’t let myself. There wasn’t space to notice beauty when I was too busy trying not to break.
But now, sitting across from him in the quiet, he is impossible to ignore.
Somehow, he looks even better than he did when we first met.
Maybe it's the time apart. Maybe it's the way I’ve missed him so much some days it took my breath away. Whatever it is, the sight of him has me choking back a whine of need.
He is still every bit as imposing. Broad shoulders.
Thick arms pushing against the sleeves of his shirt like the fabric is one flex away from bursting open.
His hair is longer now, definitely against regulation, and it’s just enough to soften him and to make me want to run my fingers through it to see if he shivers.
And his eyes. Rut, those eyes.
Still intense and focused entirely on me.
“Well? Was it worth it?” Knox finally asks. His tone is flat, but there’s a heft behind the words, a test buried in the question. “Did you complete your mission, Omega Specialist Sparks?”
“Knox, I already told you—” Viper interjects, his voice low with warning. He places a firm, steadying hand on my thigh under the table.
It shoots tingles up my body, but I keep my focus. This moment isn’t about comfort or distraction. It’s about owning up.
“It’s okay,” I murmur to Viper, squeezing his hand in reassurance. I take a deep breath and continue. “I told Viper already, but I didn’t make it very far after I left. General Stone intercepted me. He brought me here and said if I followed his orders, he’d give me the location of my friends.”
"You've been here the whole time," Knox says. It's a statement, not a question.
The food churns in my stomach. I don't know how I manage it, but I recount every detail of my last three months. I try my best to be transparent.
“I’ve tried to play along, to earn that information.
I did everything he asked. I let him do blood tests to monitor my pheromone levels, and all the while, he lied.
He never had their location. He sent them away for their own safety, and honestly…
I think he was right to. Especially after what we’ve learned.
It’s too dangerous for me to be around them right now. ”
I swallow hard.
“So, to answer your question…” I say quietly, meeting his gaze, “I didn’t save my family. I failed my mission, sir.”
I watch the muscles in his throat bob. He asked me to call him sir on the first day we met and it seems appropriate to revert back to that same formality.
“But I have a new mission now,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper.
Knox nods. “You do.”
“It scares me. I don’t know if I can do it.”
Viper hums and inclines his head. “You can.”
“How am I supposed to use my Omega Command to drive away a whole army when using it nearly destroys me? In Rheamont, it felt like it was breaking both my mind and body.”
I glance around the room. They’re listening.
Shade speaks. “It’s true that a Command as strong and untamed like yours isn’t safe, but General Stone has a plan.”
I squint. “I don’t trust anything he says.”
How can I? He could be setting me up to be a sacrifice for all I know.
“The army is coming, Halley,” Shade says.
I nod.
Even if I knew for certain I’d die using my Omega Command, I’d still do it if it meant I could save everyone else. But I’d rather not die. And having Scorch Squad at my side will give me strength.
“He says I can’t do it alone. That I need…”
I falter. The words catch in my throat. I don’t know if I can ask them for this.
“I need…”
I grip my wavering bravery. Two days ago, I walked onto a battlefield with nothing but my courage and wits. I can be brave now. They're all watching me intently, waiting for me to continue. I take a deep breath and steel myself for the next part.
“If I’m going to use this power to save our entire species then...”
I pause, the truth settling between us.
“I need you to be my squad again.”