Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Halley
Hold on.
A bad Omega.
The words catch in my throat like dry toast, scratchy and impossible to swallow.
Am I a bad Omega in their eyes?
I don’t know why it’s bothering me so much. Maybe because I tried so hard to be exactly the opposite. A good, obedient, and useful Omega.
I followed Knox’s orders, even when they didn’t make sense. Sure, I might have asked questions to understand why he wanted me to complete a task, but I always followed through. I did what he asked. I adapted. I bent to his ridiculous rules.
Viper even said I was a good Omega. Perfect. His word, not mine.
‘Viper, I’m good, aren’t I?’
Silence.
He doesn’t respond. Just keeps watching his Prime Alpha push me down under the weight of his new expectations. Like he’s just waiting for me to fall back into line, exactly where I left off, ranked right at the bottom of the chain.
“You’re our mate, Halley Sparks, but I won’t let you break our Pack again.”
The words land like a slap.
Break the Pack?
Suddenly I’m wide fracking awake.
Me? I broke the Pack?
I’ve been so stupid. Sitting there crying and taking all the blame on my shoulders. Agreeing to suck cock and get knotted in the name of reconciliation. And I mean, I’m not against that. My throbbing pussy is, in fact, entirely on board with that plan. But…
Those hypocritical mother-frackers.
“Are you kidding me?” I ask slowly through gritted teeth.
I cast my gaze to the other three soldiers in the room. ‘Cause it’s not just Knox who is happy to place the blame at my feet. It’s all of them! They’re complicit.
My anger simmers, threatening to boil over.
Strength I didn’t have moments ago surges, and I shove Knox away from me, shooting to my feet and putting distance between us.
“No, Knox. Just… no.”
He blinks at me in shock.
“I thought…”
What did I think?
We never outlined what our Pack would look like.
It all happened so fast. One minute we were strangers, the next they were my drill instructors.
Somehow that shifted into friendship, and then.
.. maybe more. Almost-lovers. Almost-mates.
And before I could catch my breath, we were talking like a Pack was inevitable.
It’s my fault for not being clear about what I want.
I scrub my hand over my face.
Ah, damn.
There I go again. Taking the blame for this whole mess. I need to stop beating myself up for our collective failures.
It wasn’t just me who broke our Pack.
It wasn’t built on a sturdy foundation to begin with.
Knox made it really clear. I broke their trust, so now it’s on me to stitch each of them back together like I’m some kind of emotional combat medic. One by one, piece by broken piece. With my hands, mouth, and pussy.
But I find it curious that no one mentioned what they did to me. As though all the pain their squad caused me before we ever talked about becoming a Pack just magically doesn’t count. Before I was their Omega, I was their problem. One that they kept in the dark until I dragged it out of them.
Anger floods through me.
“You’re still such a… a… Prime Asshole!”
“Calm down, pretty girl,” Viper says, his brow lowered in confusion.
Oh, now he’s done it.
I stab Viper with my most terrifying glare and say through gritted teeth, “Don’t ever, ever, tell an Omega to calm down, you giant oaf!”
Shade crosses his arms. “Well that was rude.”
“Rude? I’m rude? Says the guy who shamed me for fucking while jealous that it wasn’t him. You’re all unbelievable. Argh!”
Words fail me in my frustration, and I can’t stand to be around them for another second. I turn to leave.
“You haven’t been dismissed Omega Specialist Sparks,” Knox shouts after me.
“Dismissed?” I echo, stunned. “Are you serious right now?”
I can’t let them walk all over me like this, and leaving isn’t the answer. Not anymore.
Like it or not, these four idiots are mine. If our Pack is going to work, I can’t let it be like last time. Knox might be the Prime Alpha of Scorch Squad, but the hierarchy of power needs to look very different in our Pack.
I squeeze my eyes tightly and count to three. It doesn’t work, I’m still fracking infuriated.
“I take it back,” I say low and slow, enunciating each word.
“You take what back?”
I don’t know why I let myself think I was the sole problem… the broken Omega that ruined everything else around her. When had my self-esteem sunk so low?
“Everything I agreed to. I let you chastise me and I took it on the chin. I admitted and apologized for leaving, and agreed to earn back your trust.”
I breathe heavily through my nostrils as my inner Omega paces restlessly within.
Show them who’s in charge. Make our mates respect us.
“But you know what? I’m not a ‘bad Omega’ and I don't take full responsibility for our Pack failing to launch.”
Knox's muscles bunch, and his jaw ticks, his Alpha rising to my Omega’s challenge.
I don't let him cut me off. I'm on a roll, and my list of grievances is long.
"You say I need to earn your trust, but what about you? How are you going to make it up to me?”
“What are you talking about?” Shade asks, an incredulous expression creeping over his face.
For someone who is renowned for being smart, he’s being rather dense.
So I spell it out for him.
“I. Don’t. Trust. You,” I shout. “I don’t think I ever have!”
‘Pretty girl…’ Viper protests in my mind, but I mentally slam our connection shut. I didn’t know I could do that, but I guess anything is possible when an Omega is mad enough.
“What? Why?” Shade exclaims.
“You want a list? Fine!”
I whirl back to the Prime Alpha, who has red splotches of anger and indignation on the apples of his cheeks.
“Knox, you treated me like dirt from the first moment we met, and Shade, you let him! Viper, you might be an absolute sweetheart, but you avoided me like the fracking plague and made me feel like I was crazy for thinking our connection was real. How do you think that made me feel?”
Blaze claps his hands and cackles. “This is getting good. Do me next, Sparkles! Tell me how I’m a bad, bad boy.”
“Sure. Are you listening Blaze? Focus right here,” I point between my eyes and whistle, like an owner summoning a dog.
He laughs harder, like he’s in on a personal joke.
“You say you fell in love with me the moment you met me, right? Are you sure it wasn’t just because I’m an Omega.
Did you try to get to know me as a person, like at all? ”
He stops laughing.
I sigh and run a hand through my hair. “Did any of you ever want to know how I was coping with the messed up situation?”
They stare at me. The fire pops.
“My whole world was ripped out from under me. The lives of the people I love most were threatened, and I was told the only way to save them was to become something I’m not. To choose violence over every Omega instinct to nurture and protect.”
I can feel my anger dissolving into hurt and sadness.
"When you met me, it was the first time I’d been outside of Barkrood Base in my adult life as an Omega."
I don't look at them. Instead, I focus on the orange glow in the wood burner.
"Eleven years in a cage."
Barkrood Base kept me safe, but I was never free.
I scoff, remembering that despite the horrible circumstances of my deployment with Scorch Squad, I'd been excited.
"Frack, it’s embarrassing how hopeful I was. It was my first experience living outside of The Omega Division."
I take a shuddering breath, letting it out slowly.
"To you, training me was a chore, but to me…
it was a chance to live, really live. To breathe fresh air and actually interact with the world.
For me, it was never about becoming a soldier, I only wanted the chance to prove I was more than wasted potential — a defective, broken womb.
I wanted to learn how to protect the little family of rejected Omegas I love more than myself. "
I swallow the lump that's formed in my throat. I know they can probably smell the salt in the air, but I can't let them see the tears threatening to well in my eyes.
"And I tried, I really fracking tried, but you only ever treated me as a poor trainee or, when my powers came in, a tool to use. You never really understood what it took for me to fight. Omegas aren’t made for violence.
I killed people and it broke something in me, something I haven’t figured out how to put back together yet. I don’t know if I ever will.”
The tears fall, and I hate that they might steal from the strength of my words. I’m not weak.
“There were so many reasons for me to leave. So many misunderstandings, raging instincts clouding judgment, a misalignment of our goals and dreams. If I stayed, you would’ve overridden my decision to find my missing family. I know what was at the core of my decision to leave.”
After months of blaming myself, I'm ready to confront a painful truth at the very crux of my decision.
"I can't join a Pack that doesn't see me as a equal."
Knox’s face scrunches into a visage of frustration, and he slams a fist on the table.
"Because you're not our equal!" he roars.
There it is.
He said the quiet part out loud.
And just like that, the fragile hope I’d been nursing cracks wide open. My heart doesn’t just ache — it splinters. Because no matter what I give, no matter how hard I try to come back from everything that happened, it’ll never be enough if they still see me as less.
I don’t say another word.
I just stand there, arms wrapped tight around myself, holding in the pieces.
If they won’t fight to see me as an equal, then maybe I was right to walk away the first time.