Chapter Thirty-Six
Halley
Shade is kissing me dizzy against the training room wall. His thigh presses between mine, applying just the right amount of delicious pressure.
We had another successful Omega Command training session this morning, and this is my reward.
It’s a wildly effective motivator.
“You clever, clever girl,” he whispers against my lips. “I knew you had it in you. Knew you were something special from the start.”
I preen under his praise.
Lately, I feel hungry for it. Almost feverish in my need to please and be told just how good I am by the Pack.
The simplest “well done” can leave me a wet, gasping mess.
Everlyn was right. My pheromones are hovering in the horny-all-the-time zone, and it’s only a matter of time until my heat comes.
Just this morning I woke up grinding against Blaze’s cock, whimpering and begging for his fingers in my cunt.
It’s not like the Pack is complaining.
Well, maybe Shade is a little exasperated by how fixated I am on his piercings.
I shudder as my tongue flicks over the metal ball, remembering how the tongue piercing felt teasing my clit only hours earlier.
I’m not shy about public displays of affection anymore either. My Omega has shut off the part of my brain that feels shame over my sexuality. As long as no one can see my bits, I don’t care who is around. If I want my Pack Beta to kiss me silly, then I’m not waiting for the privacy of my nest.
I try not to wear them out, and they get breaks when they have guard duty. But sometimes I think Viper purposefully locks me on his knot so I have to sit still, blissed out and cock-drunk, so the others have time to sleep.
I haven’t let Blaze penetrate me with his cock yet. I’m not sure what’s holding me back, but a part of me still isn’t convinced he’s forgiven me for leaving. That doesn’t stop him from using his fingers and mouth. Nope. He’s very talented with both.
I push against Shade’s thigh, chasing that delicious spark of heat in my core as I moan into his mouth.
If I can just get my pants off…
I need his cock.
I need something to soothe the emptiness throbbing inside.
My inner Omega is restless, pacing with growing frustration.
Rut, breed, fuck.
My clit is throbbing, and my pulse racing.
“Please, Shade,” I whine, grinding down on his thigh again, fumbling with his belt. “I just need— please, uh. I gotta.”
I really wouldn’t care if the whole fortress walked in on us right now. If they saw how I’m begging my Beta.
Shade intercepts my hands, holding them between us and squeezing. “Hang on, sweet thing. There’s no rush.”
But there is.
Why can’t he understand that there is something inside of me that is accelerating?
The primal urge… the need.
It’s growing day by day. Hour by hour.
The more they support my blossoming powers, the more my Omega sees them as hers.
I want. I crave. I desire.
I have my Pack. They’re in my nest, my mind, and my heart.
It’s time.
I’m beyond ready to be claimed.
So what’s the hold up?
Shade holds my hands tighter as I try to wrench them from his grip. “Hey, hey, what’s going on?”
The pleasant ache has taken on a sharp element. It hurts.
I know what they’re waiting for.
I know what’s stopping us from becoming a complete Pack. The reason I don’t have four bite marks decorating my shoulders yet.
Knox is still avoiding me.
He’s not being cruel about it. He turns up for training sessions, sleeps in the nest, answers when I ask him questions. On the surface, everything is fine.
My Omega knows it’s not.
Something is wrong. Broken.
He doesn’t touch me.
Does he think I’m disgusting?
No, that can’t be it. He watches me constantly. Every time one of his brothers is making me come or even just hugging me, I can almost guarantee his gaze is clapped on my body.
He touches himself too, spilling his seed into his fist with the most spine-curling groans.
Sometimes my mouth waters from the scent of his spend and the desire to lick it up.
I still replay the moment he rejected me weeks ago over in my head.
When I slipped into O-space and begged for his affection, only for him to hand me off to Shade.
It's a punch in the stomach each time.
Knox is the Pack Prime Alpha, and he walked away.
Maybe his attraction to me is just an Alpha, Omega thing. Biology drawing him in. What if Knox isn't interested in having sex with me as a person?
What if he never wants to?
What if...
“Let me go, please.”
The words barely leave my mouth before I’m twisting out of Shade’s arms, lungs tight, heart hammering.
“Baby girl, where are you going?” he calls after me.
I don’t answer.
I just bolt out of the training room, down the hall, towards sunlight.
Embarrassment crashes over me the moment the cold air hits. My pheromones are sending my emotions haywire. I can barely keep up with them, so the others have no hope.
I behaved so dramatically, leaving poor Shade behind.
Shamed, I hurry around the courtyard, navigating through the hallways that weave around the building, and avoiding the gaze of the passing soldiers.
A prickling sensation runs down my spine as I sense more eyes on me than ever before. A silent, scrutinizing crowd.
They can smell something has changed within me.
Before the Pack came, General Stone’s Alpha soldiers never paid me much attention, even actively avoiding coming near me. I smelled like an Omega in mourning. Sour, brittle, dormant.
Looking back, it’s clear I was grieving the loss of… well, everything.
In the blink of an eye, I lost my sanctuary in The Omega Division. The only place I’d ever felt safe. No more nests or creature comforts. No more fun games or hobbies for the simple sake of joy.
I lost my friends, my found family, my closest confidants. They think I’m dead, murdered in a violent attack. And I failed in my efforts to reach them. To protect them from whatever fate has befallen them.
On top of all of that, I’d lost them. My Pack.
I pass a group of three Alphas with rifles strapped across their chests. Their uniforms are clean and their boots spotless, but they’re heaving with countless weapons. They’re likely about to deploy.
Their faces subtly shift towards me, nostrils flaring.
I’m not invisible anymore. I smell unmated. Breedable.
"Halley! Halley, wait up!"
Shade rounds the corner at a jog, and I'm suddenly enveloped in a tight hug.
"Where are you going, baby girl? You can’t leave like that, not alone…” he trails off, not needing to elaborate.
He’s right. I know he’s right. Even with my Command ready at the tip of my tongue, the fortress isn’t safe for me anymore. After all, there are plenty of ways to keep me from using a Command.
I bury my face in his chest and breathe in the smell of pine, dark chocolate, and sex. He smells like my slick, a wet line on his thigh, and it calms me marginally.
My Beta.
“Are you hurt?"
"No," I say, my words muffled against his shirt.
"Then what's wrong?" he asks, and I hear the concern in his voice. "Did I go too far? I thought you were okay with doing that in the training room... oh rut, did I—"
"No!" I shout, and cringe as the group of nearby Alphas tense. I pull back and shake my head emphatically, lowering my voice. "No, nothing like that. I liked... loved what we did."
I give my Beta a watery smile and sigh. "Thank you for always being there, Shade."
"You're my Omega. Of course I’ll always be there to take care of you. Always. I'll do whatever it takes to keep you happy. If that's giving you orgasms whenever and wherever you want, that's a responsibility I will gladly shoulder."
I chuckle and push at his chest, and he smiles back at me, cupping my chin, his thumb stroking my cheek.
A tingling awareness reminds me that a group of Alphas are still watching our interaction.
Feeling exposed, I grasp Shade’s hand and duck down a narrow hall to a balcony on the outskirts of the fortress.
It's deserted and rarely occupied. I used to go here sometimes when I needed to be alone to cry and sort through my thoughts.
I lean against the stone railing and admire the view. It's bitterly cold, but the sky is clear today. Snow covers the mountains, and the morning sunlight reflects off the white peaks, making them glow.
Shade leans on the wall beside me, looking out at the scenery. "Tell me what's wrong. Please, baby girl. Let us fix it."
I inhale through my nose and close my eyes, fighting back the tears. “I don’t know… uh, I’m so tired of questioning this.”
“This?”
I scrub a hand over my face. I feel silly voicing my self-doubt when there are bigger threats in our world. Our country is being invaded for rut sake.
“I have my brothers to confide in, but who do you talk to?”
If only things could slow down.
We spent so much time dancing around each other in the training camp until I was cross-eyed with sexual frustration, and now, it’s happening at breakneck speed.
“I have Everlyn, but she’s a Beta and doesn’t really get it, you know?
I miss my Omegas,” I say, looking out over the landscape below.
Today’s clear skies allow a full appreciation of the Blackreach Province’s vast expanse.
Rivers, forests, and plains stretch out before me like a rolling tapestry as far as the eye can see.
Somewhere out in that wilderness are my loved ones. Three Omegas fending for themselves.
If I believe the General, they’re protected by soldiers loyal to him, but there is no guarantee they’re being treated well.
I try not to linger on the endless, nightmarish possibilities.
Images of them lost, injured, or worse, forcibly mated, flash through my mind, each scenario a fresh wave of dread.
Anxiety roils in my belly, fueling the dark cloud of doubt that overshadows me.
“You can talk to me if you want,” Shade knocks his shoulder into mine, smiling at me with an open expression. “Like you did back in the forest when you pretended I was your friend Dazz. I thought I did a pretty good job being a sassy Omega.”
I smile, unable to resist his charm.
My pheromones are making it difficult to think clearly.
It might help to talk about it with someone.
If I were traditionally mated, my Alpha would be my confidant.
That’s what a partnership is, right? I don’t have much experience in the matter of romantic relationships, and being in a Pack makes it complicated, but I guess the principle is the same.
Shade is my mate, or he will be, and I need to learn to share with him.
I inhale, fortifying myself.
“I think... I'm not sure Knox wants me to be his Omega anymore."
Shade snorts and shoots me a disbelieving expression.
I pull back and fold my arms defensively. That wasn’t the reaction I wanted.
Shade releases a long-suffering sigh. “Baby girl, that Alpha has pined after you from the moment you arrived and disobeyed his orders. You know that.”
"Then why didn't he..." I trail off, suddenly feeling silly, like a little girl whining that another child wouldn't play with her. “He rejected me.”
My hair whips in the icy wind, and I shiver in the cold. Shade pulls me back into his warm embrace and runs a hand over my wild hair to tame it. His touch immediately injects a wash of calming energy into my veins. His voice is exasperated as he speaks, but I hear the affection in his tone.
"Because he wasn’t who you needed at that moment and he knew he couldn’t make you feel safe and cherished. Knox isn't the type of Alpha who can physically be soft and gentle. He doesn’t know how and not knowing frightens him."
I chew on his words, thinking them over. What Shade said makes sense, but it's not enough to convince me entirely.
"You're sure it’s not because of something I’ve done?" I ask, my voice small and uncertain.
“Stop it.” Shade flicks the end of my nose.
“Ow!”
“You’re overthinking.”
“But—”
“He’s told you he wants you. Blatantly, loudly, and more than a few times.”
I bite my inner cheek and pout.
It’s true. Knox has said wants me to be the Pack’s Omega more than once.
I mean, frack, I’ve caught the Alpha jerking off with my name on his lips more times than I can count.
Even back in the training camp, before everything exploded into chaos, he angrily admitted how turned on my presence made him. How badly he wanted to mount me and rut me in the dirt.
He declared his feelings at the waterfall. He apologized, vowing to do better so we could become a Pack.
And after my betrayal, when they joined me here at Blackgate, he was crystal clear about his intentions.
So, why can’t I believe him?
“We want you to be our Omega. All of us. Trust me, Halley."
I do. I trust him with my life, my body, and everything that matters. But I’m also struck by how little I know about him.
Is Shade even his real name or just a call sign?
And if I don’t know that, what else am I missing?
There is a sound behind us.
I whip my head around, eyes searching the shadows of the hallway.
A figure prowls forward.
A pair of glowing orange eyes burn into me.
It’s an Alpha.
He’s broad, stocky, with a shaved head, and thin lips curled into a sneer. He was one of the soldiers we passed in the corridor. His gun is still slung over his shoulder and his equipment clinks as he approaches with slow, steady steps.
“An Omega is wasted on a Beta,” he growls, voice thick with contempt.
My stomach drops.
He followed us… and I don’t think he’s here to chat.