Chapter 29
Andi
Iwake up slowly, my brain piecing together little bits and pieces of my surroundings.
First, the scent of warm paper. Close, enveloping me entirely. On the sheets underneath me, the blanket on top of me, and the pillow my head rests on.
The next thing my brain registers is the dull headache, the dryness of my mouth, and a faint nausea that reminds me that I drank way too much last night.
Oh yeah, last night.
I blink my eyes open, squinting because the sunshine streaming through the floor-to-ceiling windows of Leo’s room shoots straight through my skull like an icepick to the brain.
Ouch.
When I finally manage to open my eyes without feeling like the light is stabbing me, I register the fact that Leo is right in front of me. His arm is heavy around my waist, his chest rising and falling with his even and slow breaths.
I freeze for a second, my hungover brain taking longer than usual to take stock of my surroundings.
I’m in Leo’s bed.
In his apartment.
Flashes of last night start flitting back into my mind in a blur.
But, I’m still in the dress I was in last night. The only thing I’m not wearing are my heels. And Leo’s wearing a shirt. So I don’t think anything crazy happened.
Well, I guess some crazy stuff happened.
Like making out with Leo and Beck on the dance floor. Oh, and getting blackmailed. Plus, Elijah carried me twice and also insisted I call him Eli instead of Elijah. Crazy stuff.
“Good morning,” Leo murmurs, tugging me closer into his chest.
I let out a little squeak as the short skirt of my dress starts riding up from the motion. I’m covered by the blankets, but still.
“Good—good morning.” I rest my hands on his chest, my gaze roaming around his face.
“How bad is your hangover?” He doesn’t give me a chance to answer the question before he’s leaning down and gently brushing his lips against mine.
It’s a soft and tender kiss, but it sends a bolt of panic shooting through me, regardless.
“Hey! My breath stinks,” I say, pushing myself backward and covering my mouth with my hand.
“No, it doesn’t.”
“You’re lying, I can taste it and it tastes like death,” I say, pushing myself up. I run a hand through my hair only to realize that... “Did you braid my hair?”
“Yeah, I didn’t want it to get too tangled,” he says with a shrug, reaching over his head to stretch before leaning over and grabbing some pain meds and a bottle of water from beside the bed. “For you.”
“Th—thank you,” I say, blinking at him in shock. “This is... so nice.”
His brows draw down ever so slightly, like he’s confused why I’m grateful for something so small. It may be small to him, but it’s seriously a big deal for me.
I’ve always been the one grabbing pain meds and water after one of Ezra’s benders.
“Here, let me show you the bathroom,” Leo says, offering me one of his warm smiles after I swallow the pain meds.
His bathroom is just as fancy as the rest of the penthouse, but that’s not what grabs my attention.
It’s my reflection in the mirror. My face is completely bare. Even the strip lashes I applied last night are gone.
“Did you take off my makeup?”
He stands there, shrugging sheepishly as he holds out a new toothbrush still in the packaging.
“I did. Went out to the drugstore to get the right stuff.”
“Even my lashes? How do you even know how to do that?” Something simmers low in my belly. Something really close to jealousy. “Do you have practice or something?”
“I got some oil cleanser and used a cotton swab.” He shrugs. “It was the first time I’ve ever done something like that, but YouTube has videos on everything.”
“You... learned how to take off makeup for me?”
“Of course I did.”
Why is he acting like this isn’t a huge deal?
I feel the burn of tears behind my eyes. Leo notices, just like he notices everything it seems, and opens his arms out for me.
I crash into them, clinging to his white t-shirt.
“You’re the best, you know that?”
“No, I just try,” he murmurs. “And you deserve that. One day... I hope you get used to this sort of thing, you know? You deserve all this and more.”
I’m speechless. I truly have no words.
And, like the angel he is, he just wordlessly presses the new toothbrush he must have bought for me into my hand.
“I’ll be right back.”
When I’m done brushing my teeth, he reappears with an absolutely massive t-shirt.
“That doesn’t belong to you,” I point out with a small giggle.
“Nope, it’s Eli’s.”
“And you’re... giving Eli’s shirt to me?”
“You need something to wear to breakfast.” He shrugs, a small smirk tugging at his lips like he enjoys meddling. “Though I won’t complain if you continue to wear that dress.”
“There’s too much to respond to there,” I giggle, shoving my hand in his face. “First off, this dress is definitely coming off. I don’t think the sticky bra I wore was meant to be slept in.”
“Shame, it looks fantastic on you,” he says, pitching his voice low.
“Second,” I continue, trying to ignore the nervous flutter in my lower belly from his flirtatious tone. “Are you trying to get me killed? I don’t think Eli’s the type of guy to take me stealing his stuff lightly.”
“How much do you remember from last night, Lucky Duck?”
“Well, I remember that nickname.” My lips quirk into a fond smile. “But things are pretty hazy right now. Why?”
“I think you’re forgetting the way Eli couldn’t keep his eyes off you. In a good way. I think you’ll be surprised by him if you give him the chance.”
I blink at Leo, taking the shirt he’s offering me.
Give Eli a chance?
As in... like what Leo and I have? And what Beck wants?
“Wow, I’m collecting you guys like Pokémon,” I mumble, pressing the backs of my hands against my burning cheeks. The movement inadvertently brings the massive fabric of Eli’s t-shirt to my nose.
I take a deep inhale of his intense blood orange scent.
My eyes flutter shut at the memory of Eli carrying me into Leo’s room last night. I can’t believe for a second I forgot about the feel of leaning against his chest, of his massive arms carrying me like I weighed nothing.
“Wait a second,” I whisper, my eyes flying wide. “Did Everett show up last night?”
“Yeah, he came to work out the plan for the Cameron Foster situation.” Leo nods.
“I’m so sorry about that, by the way. Seriously, we’re in this mess because of me. I—”
“Nothing for you to apologize for. Should he agree to our terms, this could be a really good thing, actually. You’re still our Lucky Duck.” He brushes a strand of hair that’s fallen out from the braid behind my ear.
“Am I dreaming or... did he also come to tuck me into bed?”
“He did, with Eli.” Leo nods, his lips quirking up into a grin. “Looks like you are collecting us like Pokémon.”
“Great, okay. Wow.”
What a way to wake up.
“You know you don’t have to make any decisions now,” Leo says. “I know it’s a lot. Just... know you have options here.”
“But options are stressful,” I whisper, pursing my lips. “What if I pick wrong?”
“You could never pick wrong. Not for something like this.”
“What am I supposed to do, Leo?” My chamomile scent takes on some bitter notes as my anxiety starts to pick up. “I don’t know what to do.”
Ezra and I became close because we were often the only two kids our age at the elaborate parties our parents would throw. It seemed like an inevitability that we’d end up together, especially considering how supportive my mom was of the two of us. And that whole thing blew up in my face.
I think there’s still a big part of me that’s terrified about how far I’d have to fall if things didn’t work out with me and these guys, because they’re treating me so well.
What will it be like to go back to my apartment, spending every night alone, when I know what I’m missing out on?
“If you really want my advice...”
“I always want your advice,” I say, letting out a soft snort. “You’re like—the chillest person I know.”
There’s a faint blush on his high cheekbones at my words.
“I think you should just go with the flow. Don’t close a door before you even have a chance to see what’s past it. You don’t have to make any firm decisions now or put labels on things, but we’re here for you. In whatever way you need us.”
“Okay, I can do that,” I nod, swallowing hard. “When you put it like that, it sounds a lot less intimidating.”
“Living life can be a lot, especially when you’ve never really lived it for yourself.”
His words sucker punch me. Right in the gut.
Because he’s right.
I haven’t been living life for myself. I’ve been living for other people. For obligations, for contracts, for a warped sense of loyalty towards my mother.
And I don’t think I want to do that anymore. Not when I’m realizing the life I’ve been sold on sucks compared to the life I think I can live for myself.
“Don’t be mad,” I whisper, reaching out and clinging to the hem of his t-shirt. My voice takes on this soft, almost childlike quality.
“What’s up, Lucky Duck?” he murmurs, rubbing my shoulders gently.
“Promise you won’t be mad,” I rasp out, unable to meet his eyes.
“I won’t be mad. Promise.”
It’s just what I need to hear.
Even though last night was a bit of a shit show, I think it showed me that running away from my issues isn’t the solution.
“I’ve been working on my childhood, in therapy, and one thing that came up was... was the idea of meeting my dad.”
I brace myself, waiting for him to call the idea crazy. Or worse, to call me stupid.
But he just remains silent.
When I finally manage the courage to glance up at him, his expression is contemplative.
“It makes sense you’d want to meet him.” He nods.
“You—you don’t think I’m crazy?”
“What? Of course not.”
The vehemence in his words makes me pause a bit. I remember the advice from Nancy, to separate what’s my voice and what’s the voice of my mom.
“O—okay, well, then I really want to try.”
“Then let’s make it happen. I actually think Everett would be a good person to ask, since I think they’ve been to similar parties in the past.”
“Everett?”
“Yeah, but honestly, I think we should all come with you.”
“All?” I blink up at him, shocked. Now we’re making it a group activity?