Chapter 44 #3
At the end of the day, I am five foot three. Fighting against men several times my size isn’t always going to go in my favor.
I can hear my heart beat slow rather than speed up as I drag my foot across the tile floor and out onto the paver that leads outside.
The transition from inside to outside is stark, and I push myself through the doorway.
It’s almost as if I’ve forgotten how to walk, because everything inside of me is screaming there’s danger I can’t see.
Bad things happen in the neighborhood beyond the safety of my bubble, and I’m playing with fire.
Yet, I still walk, and my pack surrounds me. The guards aren’t in my sight line, and for some reason, this panics me further. When I left the house when I was kidnapped, Nico walked me out and then I was alone.
The neighborhood was supposed to be safe, I was supposed to be safe!
Fuck. My fingers claw at my throat as it seems to close, cutting off my oxygen. I’m fighting against an unknown force, and it’s my own fear. How do you harness something that’s inside of you?
“Okay, that’s enough,” Nico growls. I’ve made it to the fence somehow, and he pulls me down to the ground between his legs as he sits behind me. “Verona—”
“I’m calling,” she whispers. Fear and worry reflects back at me through my bonds and I begin to keen in terror and despair.
Words bubble up inside of me, but I can’t breathe well enough to speak them. It feels like I’m dying. The sun is shining, the weather is beautiful, and my body thinks I’m suffocating.
“You’re outside. Good,” Michael O’Connor grunts.
There’s no nonsense in his voice as his icy blue eyes take in the scene in front of him.
He doesn’t let me get away with shit, which is how I find myself in my current predicament.
“You can breathe. Relax. There’s one. Drop your head, lean forward and stare at the ground. There’s two.”
The raw, gasping sobs as I suck in oxygen are ugly and terrible. However, I can’t feel disgust from anyone near me. The guards have been pulled from the perimeter by my sobs, concerned something happened.
There’s not an ounce of pity or disgust from anyone as I prepare to admit that I’m not going to be able to leave my home today. My haven is actually a prison.
“Ground yourself, Rosalia, and then we’ll talk. I don’t like the defeat on your face,” Michael growls.
I think this is the only person on earth who could growl at me and not have a death wish. He’s gotten me this far, so my pack and I trust him.
“The ground is cold,” I mutter. “How’s that for grounding?”
“Keep going,” he drawls. “What else?”
Tears keep coming as I sit back and feel Nico’s chest. Dropping my head back, I stare at the sky.
“The sky is blue and the sun is warm,” I rasp.
“What’s different today than the day you were taken?” he asks.
My eyes find my pack, and Nico’s hands squeeze my shoulders.
“My pack is with me.” My eyes move to the guards, and I suck in a long, slow breath. “There are guards here that’ll accompany us. I’m not going to be walking alone today.”
“Yes.” Michael waits until I pull my attention to the phone, where Vero is crouched in front of me with it.
“You’re also stronger than the things your mind lies to you about.
Just because Avery is out there somewhere, doesn’t mean she’s a current threat to you.
Be smart, take your life back. Start by getting off the goddamned floor. ”
My therapist likes to brow beat me. It’s not something that would work for everyone, but it helps that he doesn’t treat me like I’m fragile, even when I feel as if I am.
Dario and Ciro lean forward, helping me up, and they each rub their fingers over my face and hug me before releasing me.
“Again,” Michael says. “Mr. Domino, how many people are you planning to take on this outing?”
He uses those words because this isn’t the silly little walk I told myself it was. It’s a goddamned event after a major traumatic event, and I need to remember to be proud of myself for making it this far.
My shoulders push down from near my ears, and I force myself to relax.
“Three guards, and we are all armed,” Nico says, moving to hold my non-dominant hand.
“Good. Alright, Rosalia. This is your show,” Michael says in a bored voice. “How long are you going to make us all wait?”
“As long as it takes, asshole,” I grunt, but my footsteps are more confident. My fingers run over the gate to the fence, looking at one important fact.
Nico changed part of the fence so that he can park in the driveway. The smaller car door is now much larger so we can park several cars if we need to. The previous owners didn’t need it before, and this makes things more secure.
No one will know if we’re home or not now unless we want them to.
The thunk of the lock is loud and sturdy as I turn it and I slowly open the door.
“I’m going to step in front of you now, Mrs. Domino,” one of our guards murmurs. I haven’t learned everyone’s names yet, and it’s something I’ll start to do now that I’m around them more.
He steps out and checks outside before widening the door so we can step onto the sidewalk. The neighborhood doesn’t appear scary from here. Kids are playing in the street, parents are watching them, and people are enjoying the afternoon.
The anxiety is still there, but it’s manageable. I’ll have to continue to work the steps I have for when I’m starting to panic, yet it’s to be expected.
“Rosalia.” Turning my head, I see Michael watching me from the phone. “You did it.”
“I did,” I whisper.
“Have dessert to celebrate. I’ll be on standby until you text me that you’re home.”
“Thank you,” I say, swallowing hard.
“Not needed. This was all you. Enjoy your afternoon.”
Just like that, he’s gone, but now there’s a smile on my face. I’m not in the least bit cured, but this is a big deal. Dessert sounds fantastic right about now.