Ruined
Calista
What am I doing? What am I fucking doing? Running away is pointless, but I needed to escape. I’m suffocating despite breathing. I’m angry. Confused. I never expected my life to collapse in a matter of seconds.
I kick off my heels and scoop them up, so I can keep running. Every stair hurts my bare feet, the concrete as cold and hard as I need to be to survive this.
My dreams and aspirations for my future dissolve with my rage.
How can they be dead? What happened? All of the answers lie back in my apartment with men who are part of the pack that claimed me, but I never really got to know.
My mom belonged to Pack Kismet, and I was given the title by default.
Calista Kismet, second omega and sponsored to remain in a pack I should never have belonged to.
It’s why I like to go by Cali. It separates me from my truth.
But now I’m the only omega they have left.
It is the law that I obey the heirs of Henry.
Fuck the law.
The United Alpha Democracy claims to want to protect me, but it is their laws that have left me in this mess. I won’t stand for it. I guess now is the time to truly figure things out.
I still have the phone Ivy gave me. Maybe Joseph Carter will want to invest in his future, which is now at risk, all things considered.
I do have over a thousand dollars in cash.
It might buy me a couple days in some shitty hotel.
Anyone can be bought off. I just need to find the right beta community to help me.
My chest loosens with a thought. It’s the start of a plan that I need.
First, I need to find a place to stay. Second, I need to find a job that doesn’t ask questions.
I don’t need Ivy. I know I can do this on my own.
There are a lot of desperate alphas who need a fake omega.
Joseph Carter was enough proof. But where do I find them?
That’s something I’ll figure out later.
I reach the final landing in the stairwell, the exit into the lobby just feet away. I have to make this quick. If I can run through to the entrance, I’ll be able to hide on the streets. I can find shelter. I can…
Tears burn in my eyes, and I gasp a breath, my emotions catching up with me now that I’ve slowed down. This is too much. My confidence drifts away with each thundering beat of my anxious heart.
“Mom, I hope you know I hate you. I hate you for this! How could you abandon me again?” I speak to the emptiness as if somehow someone will listen. I should be used to this—to being alone and having to constantly rely on the generosity of others, but fuck.
Fuck!
“Pull yourself together, Cali,” I mutter, my voice echoing against the smooth concrete walls. “You need to think. You need to forget her.” There’s nothing more obvious than an upset omega, and if I don’t suppress my feelings, I’ll be noticed straight away.
If only guilt didn’t rise in place of my anger.
I’m so damn selfish for considering how this affects my life over everything else.
How I care more about what happens to me and not the grief trying to grab hold of me.
Maybe it’s because Mom made her decision to turn Henry into her world after she left Dad.
I’m here because of her. She claimed Henry needed her more.
She had a duty to help heal his broken heart, and I wouldn’t understand until I bonded with a pack.
It’s one of the reasons they agreed to sponsor me.
It was a way to let me do my own thing. To keep me out of the way as they built something together while also respecting the laws.
I just…I never imagined it would end so suddenly.
So…tragically.
I shake the thoughts away. If I keep thinking about it, I might feel past my guilt.
There’s nothing I can do to fix this or bring them back.
I inhale and exhale slowly, forcing my lungs to breathe deeply.
I wish I could lock myself in my apartment, but everyone ruined it.
They chose to gather in my safe space, turning it into the last place I want to be.
Soft footsteps sound from the stairwell, and I force myself to move.
I need to walk fast, but I also need to blend in.
I don’t know why I feel as if my existence breaks the law.
What am I scared of? The guard who manages the lobby isn’t even allowed to talk to me.
If there is anybody else down there this time of night, they’re probably busy themselves.
Just go.
I push my hands against the door, but it doesn’t budge. What the actual fuck? It shouldn’t be locked. It’s a safety hazard for it to be locked. What if there was a fire? You can’t rely on an elevator in an emergency.
“Please stop trying to run away, butterfly. Ivy locked the building down. She fears you might do something without thinking.” It’s Jensen. He barely said a single word back in my apartment, yet here he is now trying to talk to me and calling me nicknames I don’t understand.
I spin and face him, shifting my anger from my thoughts, from my mom, and to him.
“This is fucking bullshit. You need to leave me alone. I don’t want you near me. I’m not your responsibility. Just turn around and go back to your pack.” I growl with my words, summoning an alpha facade, not knowing if it will actually affect Jensen.
Jensen raises his hands in defeat, a sadness in his golden eyes I didn’t recognize before. Is it pity? Is it something else? Whatever it is, I can’t stand it.
“You are part of my pack, and I won’t leave you. You’re my responsibility as much as anyone else in Pack Kismet now. I know you’re hurting, and this is completely unfair, but we will figure this out together. It’s what our parents would’ve wanted. Your mom—”
“Don’t you dare try to speak on my mom’s behalf. You have no clue what she would’ve wanted. She was supposed to be here. She was helping me secure my independence.” My voice turns to a whisper, the thoughts catching up with me.
“I know. My dad asked me to help him research other Omega Resorts. They weren’t just coming to support you, Calista.
They were considering removing you from this facility.
They had movers on standby. They were supposed to arrive early this morning because they decided to drive overnight…
There was a dust storm. The semi didn’t see…
” Jensen wipes his hand across his brown eyes, the amber color shining in the overhead lights as he turns away from me.
His words sink in. This was my fault. Mom was only supposed to come to support me. She might have asked me if I wanted to change to a different resort, but I told her no. Why would she persist? Why would they bother driving overnight?
I wish the world would make sense.
“They were killed because of me,” I whisper, my heart aching in a way I’ve never felt before. This far exceeds the guilt I feel about my anger.
“No, butterfly. It was a freak accident. Don’t blame yourself.
” Jensen closes the space to me. I yearn to hug him, but a part of me knows better.
This is my omega instinct. It’s what makes me want to react to him.
I can’t. I won’t. He could use it against me to manipulate me like he’s trying to do with giving me a nickname.
“Then you should blame me. Henry is dead because of me. I’m the omega Pack Kismet had to take in because of my mom.
I’m a burden. I’ll always be a burden.” I meet Jensen’s deep amber eyes, the speckles of gold gleaming with his brown irises.
It’s the first time I’ve really looked at him.
I’ve only been paying attention to his scent, the strong lime fragrance threatening to break through the scent blocker I tapped on my nose earlier tonight.
And now that I think of it, I inhale another long breath. His gaze captures me, his eyes refusing to shift away. This is a staring contest I need to lose because if I stay here any longer, he might convince me to believe him.
The door behind me booms open, and I startle, the commotion breaking Jensen’s sudden spell on me.
“We have to get out of here before Alpha Daines tries something stupid. She obviously thinks she’s above the law.
” I tighten my jaw at the sound of Jensen’s brother’s voice, Nolan.
He’s vaguely familiar, with similar features to Henry without the softness his dad carried.
I place his name because he carries what I can only describe as the entitlement of a firstborn son and heir to be pack leader.
His words ignite a spark of fight within me.
This shouldn’t be so easy. I shouldn’t have to go with men who are practically strangers.
I don’t care if they’re Henry’s sons. I don’t care if they’re going to be the new leaders of Pack Kismet.
The only thing I care about is myself, as it should be, because surely they’re only thinking of themselves too.
“I’m not going. My home is here.” I cross my arms over my chest, stiffening my body. If I don’t stand firm, they’ll try to walk all over me. Jensen seems nice enough, but I heard the way Nolan spoke to Ivy. He’s not leaving any room open to discussion.
Nolan swings his gaze to me, his thick brows lowering.
His eyes are a darker brown than his brother’s, the color of wood soaked with rain.
His hair hangs over his forehead when it should be styled back.
His wrinkled shirt brings my attention to the chest hair peeking out from the open top button.
He looks tired, like he’s lost all his fucks to give. Kind of like me.
“Your home is here?” Nolan questions, his lips tilting downward, tightening his sharp jawline even more. “Have you been brainwashed?”
Annoyance zings through me. There’s no point in arguing with him. So I don’t. Instead, I rush past him and into the lobby of the Omega Resort. I need to stick to my plan.
Through my blurry vision, I rush out of the building and into the street. Tires screech and the scent of burning rubber assaults my nose. I brace for a vehicle to take me out. I expect to die right here.
But nothing happens.
The world turns silent for a few seconds, and the only thing I can hear is my pounding heart.
“What the actual fuck, omega? Lucas could have hit you.” Hearing Nolan’s gruff voice makes me wish I were dealing with Jensen. Because Nolan doesn’t sound like he’s going to try and reason with me. He’s fed up.
“I told you I’m not going with you. Just get out of my way and let me be, alpha.
” I glower as I call him by his order like he did to me with mine.
My tears make it impossible to easily speak.
I wish my voice would sound stronger. I wish I felt stronger right now.
But everything is crashing down around me.
“You’re part of Pack Kismet. It’s our responsibility to look after you now that our parents are…
” Did Nolan’s voice just crack? I suddenly see a softness to him that he hasn’t shared since I laid eyes on him.
I guess losing someone can do that even to the toughest alpha.
“We can’t leave you here. Even though our parents paid for your sponsorship for the rest of the year, the contract and everything in the estate are now put on hold.
Ivy was lying about the refund. She’s trying to make things harder and turn you against us so she can whore you out.
If we don’t take you, either she’ll ensure you never see your pack again or the authorities will come and drag you to Poppy Cove.
You don’t really want that, do you? Please. It’s been hard enough.”
I press my lips together, remaining silent. That would actually buy me some time. All of this—the dramatics, the chasing, the threatening—it’s all for show. It’s a power trip. He’s proven I have other options to consider, even if he thinks they’re terrible.
Nolan reads my expression, realizing the mistake of his comment. He rushes toward me, and I dodge out of his way and decide it’s best to keep trying to run. This is all a game. They think they can intimidate me into being an obedient omega. What nerve.
“Calista! If you don’t stop right now, you’re going to lose everything. I don’t have it in me to cater to your tantrums. Our parents are fucking dead. We have a lot of shit to do. Stop being a brat. I knew our parents sponsoring you would turn you into a—”
Against my better judgment, I spin and charge at Nolan. I place my hands against his broad chest and shove him as hard as I can. He loses his balance and crashes to the street, swearing up a storm. I go after him again, wanting nothing more than to slap every comment he has about me from his brain.
“I’m going to lose everything? What exactly do I have to lose now? I have already lost it.” Tears spring from my eyes, and a sob escapes my mouth. Why am I like this? I’ve been working on my independence. I’ve been strong. I shouldn’t be breaking down because of a couple shitty words Nolan said.
I wipe my face on my arm and turn to stride away, but two tall figures block me, and I catch the scent of a third familiar alpha standing with Jensen.
It’s Lucas, the youngest of the three. I have only met him once at our parents’ wedding.
He’s grown a lot since then with his stubble shadowing his cheeks and brightening his hazel eyes.
“Calista, we’re not monsters. This is a lot for you. I get it. But you can’t stay here. You can’t. Jess wouldn’t have wanted you to. So come on. We’ll figure out what is best for everyone. You need to be with your pack.” Jensen steps forward away from Lucas and holds his hand out to me.
I stare at his proffered hand and cross my arms over my chest. What else am I going to do now?
They’re not going to make it easy for me to run.
And I can tell I’m already making a scene as a couple patrons from the local coffee shop stare at us.
If the authorities come, they will not be on my side.
It will take me contacting the Omega Independence Program to try and fix this, but even then, I’m at Pack Kismet’s mercy.
I’m just going to have to give in, even if I don’t want to.
“You’re not my pack. I’m so close to being declared independent.” I purse my lips together. “If you mess this up for me, I won’t forgive you. You ruined my life. You’ve ruined everything.”
Jensen doesn’t respond. Lucas helps Nolan from the ground and then holds the back door of the vehicle open for us.
I don’t look at anyone as I get in. I close my eyes and push the world away. That’s all I can do now.