15. Confessions
Confessions
Calista
Cool ocean air wraps around me, and I shiver. I rub my arms, trying to push away the goosebumps prickling over my skin. If the glittering night cityscape wasn’t so dazzling, I’d head inside the salon. But I’m enjoying the beauty too much.
“Here, take my jacket,” Jensen says, sliding it off.
His white dress shirt fits tightly against his biceps, drawing my attention to how handsome and muscular he is.
He’s more refined than his brothers with his freshly shaved face, his skin softer, far from rugged, and I almost reach up and caress his cheek.
He doesn’t give me a chance and drapes his jacket over my shoulders, bringing my mind back to reality and out of my fantasy.
I inhale softly, his scent even better wafting from the warm fabric, heated by his skin.
The zesty lime with a hint of sea salt awakens something inside me.
It’s delectable and gets to my very nature.
“Won’t you be cold?” I ask, tilting my head to sniff the collar. “We can go inside.”
“And risk that smile leaving your face? Absolutely not. I’m not cold, anyway. You’re hot enough to keep me warm.” Jensen chuckles with his words. He leans forward next to me, trying to get me to look at him.
I resist, keeping my stare trained on the shimmering lights on the shore. Like small stars suspended to Earth, the night seems magical and the ocean vast. And Jensen? Damn him. I shouldn’t savor his company as much as I do.
“Jensen… You can’t say stuff like that to me.” I grip the railing, anticipating his reaction. No alpha likes to be told what to do, but this is a bit different. I’m trying to tell him not to express himself.
“Why is that? I’m just trying to compliment you.
I know it’s been hard. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same, but I just…
I can’t help myself, butterfly. I’m attracted to you.
A part of me is even a bit jealous that you slept with Nolan.
He’s been nothing but an ass most of the time.
I would never be that way toward you, you know.
” Jensen hangs his head, a strand of his dark hair falling on his forehead.
He stares at the waves created by the yacht as we cruise along the shore.
Music drifts through the air, and laughter catches on the wind as a group of people stands on the deck above us.
I don’t think they can hear us, but I want to be cautious anyway.
“Please, stop. I don’t want to talk about Nolan.
I just want to have a good time. This isn’t the place to discuss private matters.
” I turn toward Jensen, finally wanting to meet his gaze, but he refuses to look at me now.
I touch his muscular arm. Again, he doesn’t look.
“And so you know, I do feel the same. I’m very much attracted to you.
You’re my scent match. I just—I can’t do this. ”
“Can’t do what exactly? I’m trying to help you, Cali.
We’re trying to help you. We’re trying to save our pack.
I don’t get it. What is so bad about us that you completely reject the idea of being the Kismet Omega?
” He clenches his jaw, and a vein bulges in his neck before quickly disappearing as he forces himself to relax.
“It’s not you or your brothers, Jensen,” I say, waiting for him to look at me.
If I can get his amber gaze to catch my eyes, he’ll see the truth of my words.
I wish he wouldn’t build a wall between us.
I just don’t think he truly understands.
I can tell he already thinks I’m a bitch for rejecting the idea of marrying him to save their wealth and power.
Maybe I am.
I wonder what kind of advice my mom would give me. If she would be disappointed or if she would agree with me.
“Then what is it, Cali? Help me understand. Right now, it just feels like you hate us for bringing you here, except you won’t admit to it.
You just have one excuse after another. You claim to be waiting for your lawyer to fix this, but you need to realize that it might not be something that can be fixed.
We’ve been trying. We have to claim an omega for our inheritance.
We don’t exactly want to bond either.” He tightens his jaw, glaring at the water.
“Except if it was to you. Even if you would prefer it if we only live as roommates. Our dad gave us high standards, and you’re the only one we could ever want and be happy with.
I just wish you felt the same. There has to be something we can do to get past this.
What is it? Tell me what we can do, butterfly.
” He clutches the railing, his knuckles white with the gesture.
I hate that my eyes water. I hate that he makes me want to cry. I don’t owe him an explanation, and I especially don’t want to give him the truth. I hate everything about my order. I know even that is affecting him right now. Because he’s affecting me too.
How can I need air when I’m standing with a blowing breeze around me? How could I be suffocating?
“I’m sorry, Jensen. I don’t want to have this conversation right now.” I cross my arms, hugging myself.
“Right now? You never want to have it.” Jensen reaches for me, but I step back. “Please, butterfly. Please, talk to me. Don’t leave.”
“I can’t do this.” Inhaling a deep breath, I spin around and stride toward the walkway, heading toward the bow of the yacht.
If I stay here with Jensen, I might lose control of my emotions.
Tonight was supposed to be fun. We’re supposed to just hang out and have a good time, and then he went and made things messy.
I’m mentally unavailable, and I can’t even truly explain to him why.
Because I don’t have all of the answers.
I just have my past and how my mother did everything she could so that I wouldn’t be like her. Yet here I am…
“Cali, please. Don’t go,” Jensen begs, his voice remaining low to not draw attention.
I ignore him and continue making my way toward the music, following the sound as it grows louder and louder.
I only slow down when belting laughter bellows through the air, and an array of scents assault me.
There are a lot of alphas and betas on the deck, hanging out near a bar.
There’s not a single omega here, and I wonder if I stumbled upon some sort of meeting.
Composing myself, I waltz to the empty bar, only giving a single smile to the group of men sitting around a circular table full of empty glasses.
I have to be cordial, especially because this is an event.
What I really want to do is flip them off and tell them to stop staring.
I’m not, nor will I ever be, interested in them.
“May I please have a glass of champagne?” I ask the bartender, sliding into the empty bar stool.
The guy flat-out ignores me, keeping himself busy by stacking tumblers. Great. I should have known better than to think I could just do anything I wanted freely.
“He’s not allowed to serve single omegas. What would you like me to order for you?” The voice comes from beside me, and I catch the fragrance of an alpha who’s not much taller than me as I sit on the bar stool. He reeks of alcohol and something else, and I bring Jensen’s jacket sleeve to my nose.
“Champagne, please and thanks. I’ve been dying for a drink.
” I want to drown my thoughts away. I’m a giggly drunk and not a depressed sap.
I really need something to lighten my mood after that whirlwind of a conversation with Jensen.
Peering around, I look for him, but he didn’t follow me.
I should be relieved. My emotions give me whiplash, because I kind of wish he was beside me instead of this alpha.
“The lady will have a cranberry vodka on the rocks,” the alpha says, ignoring the fact that I asked for champagne.
The bartender nods his head and pours the splash of cranberry juice over a glass of vodka. Great. I fucking hate vodka.
Oh, well. A drink is a drink right now. I shouldn’t be picky.
Tilting my chin down, I finally meet the alpha’s gaze, giving him a look of annoyance.
He laughs and holds up the glass, not letting me take it.
He’s really going to make me drink it from his hand.
At least I haven’t taken my eyes off it, because with the way he’s acting, I’m a bit nervous he would spike the drink.
“Cheers,” I say, pressing my lips to the glass until he pours it into my mouth. He doesn’t let me pull away until the glass is empty, and he slams it on the bar.
The heat of the alcohol burns my throat and sloshes in my stomach. I should’ve just denied him. What was I thinking? I’m such a fool. Always a fool.
“Such a good girl. Whose pack do you belong to? I haven’t seen you on the yacht until now.
” The alpha takes another glass from the bartender and hands it to me, the deep burgundy liquid swirling with his movements.
He grabs a shot glass next and downs it in a single gulp.
Shaking his head, he sends his mop of blond strands flying around.
“That depends. Are you a pack leader? Which pack do you belong to?”
Tipping his head back, the alpha laughs, his voice bellowing over the music.
He looks to the group of guys sitting around the table, most of them betas, and one of them another alpha.
Everyone on the small deck stares at us.
Heat blooms up my neck under the attention.
I hate being under this much scrutiny. It’s different when I choose to be the center of an alpha’s gaze at the Omega Resort compared to now.
This is free entertainment for them. Ivy would have never allowed such a thing without a price.
“I’m Alexander. This is the rest of Pack Loomis.” Alexander motions to the others. “Their names aren’t important. You can just call them all jackass, and they’ll respond.” He grins again like he’s the funniest man alive.
I force myself to giggle. “Oh, I see. Well, it’s nice to meet all of you jackasses.”
The group of men all howl with laughter. “She’s a winner, Alexander! Bring her over.”
Before I have a chance to react, Alexander slides his arm around my back and scoops me up. I gasp in surprise and shove my hand against his chest, but he doesn’t even react. I think he’s too drunk to consider what an inappropriate move this is.
He sits down and holds me, inhaling a deep breath against my throat. “You still smell good, despite wearing that jacket. I’d recognize a Kismet anywhere.”
His recognition of Jensen’s scent strikes me to my core and fear rolls over me. Why am I so surprised? Something about his change in tone frightens me, like it’s a bad thing that I’m part of Pack Kismet.
“Alexander, you fuckhead. You know she’s here with Jensen Kismet, the second-best loser.” This comes from the other alpha sitting at the table. “You need to let her go.”
“Whatever. They’re not bonded. I don’t see a mark. He obviously can’t compare to Henry and is about to lose everything. She needs someone who can handle his shit. Plus, I’m here to have a good time, and she—”
I elbow Alexander in the throat, my panic taking control.
I don’t want any part of this situation.
He knows about Pack Kismet, which means he’s aware of the power shift.
There are too many people who would take advantage of the situation.
“Let me go. You’re a creep. My bonding is none of your damn business.
Who’s to say we’re not planning a wedding? ”
“I’ve heard the rumors, bitch.” Alexander hops to his feet, grabbing one of the glasses from the table. He tosses it at my face, soaking me with alcohol. “Now, come here. You can’t disrespect an alpha like this.”
“Fuck off!” I scream, dodging past two of the betas who remain quiet. They won’t interfere with anything.
“You owe me an apology—”
“Alexander, back up,” one of his pack members says.
“Fuck off, Louis. You don’t have the balls to take power when you see it. I don’t see Jensen around protecting her. Maybe he’ll thank me later when she runs—”
“Get the hell away from my omega!” Jensen’s snarl rings through the air, his voice sharper than I’ve ever heard before.
The two alphas glower toward him, and Alexander raises his fist. He doesn’t get a chance to swing.
Jensen uppercuts, punching Alexander’s chin hard enough to send his blond head back.
The other alpha, Louis, raises both of his hands in surrender.
Relief floods through me at the sight of Jensen. The moment our eyes meet, I know abandoning him was a huge mistake.
“Calm down, Kismet. I didn’t know she belonged to you. We’re all cool here, right?” Alexander peers over his shoulder at me. He demands my submission and agreement with one sharp look. “Right, Cali?”
My mouth trembles that he knows my name. I can’t get the words out.
Jensen clenches his jaw and tightens his fist again. He looks like he’ll pummel Alexander to death, and a part of me hopes to see him follow through. I don’t know why, but I want the alpha to pay. I want him to bleed for even touching me, I want to see Jensen do it.
“Enough. We don’t want any problems, Mr. Kismet. My asshole brother is sorry. Please, just let us go inside and we’ll leave you alone,” Louis says, remaining even in tone. “We’ve all had a bit too much to drink. You know how that goes. I’ll ensure he’s properly taken care of when we dock.”
“You fucker! Traitor! I’m above you!” Alexander yells, spinning toward me.
I raise my hands to protect myself, but Louis grabs onto Alexander. Alexander doesn’t get a chance to argue as Louis punches him in the face. His heavy body slams into me, and I lose my footing, my heel cracking and breaking.
I trip backward and hit the bars, the force of hitting the guardrail blurring my vision. I don’t even have the chance to react before two hands slam against my chest and shove me harder until the world around me drops, the wind stealing my scream before water cascades over my head.
Panic seizes my muscles. I do my best to kick my arms and legs, but the water is dark and disorienting. And I can’t swim.
I should have known my life would end because of stupid power-hungry alphas.
This is why I wanted my freedom.
Now I don’t care.
I just want to survive. I want to live.