37. Livingstons #3
Hollis jumps up in time to move Roman away from me, anticipating the anger that surely comes.
I cut into my pork chop and chew the delicious meat with a satisfied grin. I steal a glance at Ash who looks very pleased at my enjoyment. Hollis and Roman have to leave, so it’s just Noble, Ash, and me left to eat.
They get their plates together, and we eat in silence.
Noble clears his throat. “You shouldn’t push his buttons like that.”
“Noble, go fuck yourself.”
Ash snorts a laugh, and Noble shoots him a deathly glare.
“Oh, are you two friends now?”
“You know, this pack excluded, I get along with most people. Most people like me.” Despite Noble’s sad boy look, I return to my mashed potatoes, which are perfectly creamy and buttery. “God, Ash, this is so good. I didn’t think I was a spinach girl, but you’ve proven me wrong.”
The shadowy man at the end of the table blushes. “I took some classes.”
“Well, you are a great student. I’ve had food in some of the best restaurants in the world, and this is up there.”
“Thank you.”
Noble puts his hand on my wrist, leans in, and says in a low tone, “Come to my room tonight.”
He’s desperate.
He lets me feel it.
His fingers tighten.
“Only if Ash can come, too.” I pop a piece of roll into my mouth and smile, and he lets go of me.
“That’s fine. If that’s what you need.”
I nearly choke on my roll.
Ash just raises his eyebrow at me—a challenge.
Last I knew, the alphas in this house did not fuck other men. If I required more than one of them, the lights would stay off, and there’d be lots of space negotiation. Then I’d have to deal with the fallout of being so damned needy.
Additionally, they view Ash as staff. They struggle to make me, their omega, feel good. I would imagine they’d never let their beta near them.
Maybe he just wants to talk…
I narrow my eyes at Noble. “Fine.”
Roman comes back into the room with Hollis herding him in. Roman sits down, avoiding my eyes, and Hollis makes him a plate. Wow, it must be so hard controlling your emotions you’ve been allowed to inflict on everyone around you all the time. I hope he chews on it so he doesn’t fucking choke.
Now that I have food in my stomach, I want alcohol.
“Ash, what’re you drinking?”
He swirls the wine in his glass. “Sauvignon Blanc.”
“Oh fantastic. Can I have a glass?”
He nods and stands, going to the buffet to get me a glass.
It’s a shitty move, but Ash doesn’t mind, and Roman is a fuck-head. Ash drops the large glass off and kisses me on top of my head. It makes me blush. I can’t help it; it’s so sweet.
“Thank you.”
“You weren’t that grateful when I got you a plate,” Roman mutters.
I take a sip of my wine. That is good. Ash has good taste.
“You see, that’s the thing—I wasn’t grateful.”
His knife and fork hit the plate.
“Roman…” Hollis starts.
Roman turns to me with a look that would have made me wither in the past.
“Why can’t you make this easier!? I won’t do nice things if you keep acting like this! Have you ever heard of positive reinforcement?!”
I set my wine down.
“Roman, you aren’t a fucking puppy. You are a grown man.
Grown people have to do things every day that don’t get direct, positive, and affirming feedback.
It’s called being a fucking grown-up. Normal people don’t sit around demanding everyone be grateful and affirming every stupid thing they do!
Plus, you don’t deserve it. Not one bit.
I am not grateful that it took everything you have inside your weak spirit to prepare me a plate for dinner. ”
I didn’t mean to raise my voice, but I’m getting real tired of this pack and these alphas and their bullshit. Tony was here earlier, which takes up a lot of space in my mind, and my bond mark hurts from lack of care.
Roman doesn’t have an argument. We eat, and when my wine is gone, I stand, grabbing my plate and glass.
“Kelya, I’ve got that. Don’t worry about it,” Ash tells me. I bow my head, leave the dishes, then stride away, but Roman grabs my wrist before I go farther.
“What are those marks on your leg?”
My head kicks to the side. What marks? Oh my god, the red marks from the ropes. Cypress probably did it on purpose, made them so saturated they’d leave marks.
That bastard bloodhound.
“Just…nothing.” I reach down and rub the one on my ankle so he can see it is just red dye.
When his grip loosens, I jerk my hand back and leave as quickly as possible. Cypress is playing with fire.
I stop in my nest, and it doesn’t smell any stronger of Tony. Disappointed, I take the pillow with his scent and go to my room, then curl into my bed.
Fucking Roman. He’s tiring to deal with.
I’m going to need to get fucked by one of these Livingstons sooner or later. The new bond wants it. However, the idea of getting naked with anyone other than Tony actually hurts my heart. I groan and bury my face in his pillow.
I miss him and his gentle calm. I miss how much he loved watching me be myself. I want to secretly cuddle him in the middle of the night, pressing my hand into his cold chest, warming it up, and watching him sigh in contentment.
Why is he here? He needs to go home and leave me alone. We can’t be together. My hips dig into the mattress the harder I rub my face into the pillow. I could get off like this. I inhale all the luscious cypress scent. The breeze through the ancient trees. Free and calming.
He shouldn’t be here.
I should go to Noble tonight, but not to fuck him. I’ll talk. Maybe I’ll get Ash alone and ask him if he knew about the break in…
I look out the window into the dark desert and think of that omega, Petra, running out there rather than being in here.
She had the right idea.
Though she should have been smart like me and taken hundred G's and ordered a car first.
I go to my bathroom and wash my face, then head out into the hall. There are four bedrooms on the top level, including mine. I imagine they put Ash in the basement. I think he has his own kitchen, and the game room is down there, so he’s probably not mad about it. I should go there first…
I turn away to go past Roman’s room to where the stairs are, and just as I pass the door, I’m grabbed by rough hands and shoved into his room.
His hand digs into the soft flesh over my mouth, and I panic.
I kick and scream into his palm. It’s dark, and my hair has fallen into my face.
Roman pushes me against the wall and presses me into it with his body.
He’s going to hurt me! He’s going to make me do whatever he wants, and I won’t be able to stop him!
I open the bond up and let everyone feel my panic.
Roman presses his forehead into the side of my head, pinning it to the wall, and hisses at my emotions flooding him.
There’s a stillness to his aggression as we both wait for someone to come get me.
But neither of us hear footsteps or even a peep…
Why aren’t they coming?
He opens his end of the bond to me, and I realize he’s all animal. His alpha is at the surface. I whimper under his hand, and he growls in pleasure at it. This is it. This is my punishment. He’s going to fucking hurt me.
His nose runs along my forehead and then down the side of my face. Then he adjusts so he can rip my shirt down my shoulder. His head nuzzles against mine until his mouth hovers over his bond mark.
I shiver.
It’s been aching, and having him this close is making me tremble.
I need this like I need air to breathe. His tongue lies flat against the wound, and I stop resisting.
A zap of something that both hurts and satisfies goes through my body at the contact.
He growls again and then lets go of my mouth so he can hold me tighter against him. My head falls onto his shoulder.
His inner alpha tends to my bond mark, having been wretched forward to do what needed to be done, when Roman couldn’t or wouldn’t do it himself.
He slowly licks the edges, and his fingers stroke me where his hands hold me fast. My body responds with total submission.
Our scents bloom and mingle around us. The bond is strengthening, and it’s making me sick.
There’s no getting out of this now.
I whimper, and he growls again, but this time with a tender tone. It feels so fucking good. I just want more of his tongue on me. Each swipe etches into my soul. Omega and alpha. Nature’s perfect pair.
The rawness of the act is cracking me open, and the last person I want to be exposed to is Roman Livingston. I push him away, and he lets me. His face is softer. His eyes half closed in ecstasy. His mouth is parted, ready to start again.
This is wrong.
This is all wrong.
I make a move for the door, expecting him to stop me, but he doesn’t. I slip out and rush down into the depths of the house to my nest. Once inside, I take my first real breath.
And then I burst into tears.
No. I don’t want this. I don’t want any of this. What made me think I was strong enough to live this life? I’m going to die in this house.