Chapter 3 Amara
AMARA
My cell phone vibrated against the wooden desk, dancing itself closer and closer to the edge. The name "Mom" glowed on the screen as if it was some sort of warning. My stomach eased itself into a small knot and I almost wished the device would fall to the floor and shatter itself.
The library was quiet, just the soft hum of the heating system kicking on and the occasional rustle of pages from the reading area.
I picked the phone up and moved it back to a better position but let the call go to voicemail.
The ringing started up again.
Mrs. Luna glanced up from her computer, her eyebrows raised. "You gonna answer that eventually?"
"Probably not," I muttered, sliding the phone into my cardigan pocket.
She laughed softly. "Family?"
I offered her a shrug. "It's my mom."
"Ah." She nodded knowingly. "Say no more."
I grabbed my cart and headed back into the stacks, needing the familiar comfort of the books around me. The library always smelled the same. Old paper and wood polish and that indefinable scent that only existed in places where stories lived.
It was truly my little safe space that I'd carved out for myself.
My phone buzzed with a voicemail notification and I pulled it out, already knowing what it would say.
"Amara, sweetheart, it's your mother. Again. I know Lila stopped by yesterday to tell you about the gala. I really think you should come. It would be good for you to get out. Meet some nice Alphas. You can't hide forever, baby. Call me back."
I deleted it without finishing.
You can't hide forever.
Everyone was always saying that including Lila and my mother. Even Mrs. Luna had hinted at it once or twice, though she was gentler about it.
They didn't understand that I wasn't really hiding but it was more like I was surviving. There was a huge difference between the two.
I shoved a book onto the shelf harder than I meant to and winced at the sound.
"Sorry," I whispered to it.
God, I was apologizing to books now.
My phone started to ring again and finally I just gave in and answered. Amelia had a way about her, she could wear you down.
"Hi, Mom."
"Finally!" My mother's voice was bright, cheerful. The kind of cheerful that meant she wanted something. "I was starting to think you were avoiding me."
I was, the thought casually rolled around in my head.
"Just working," I said instead.
She didn't wait for my reply. "Well, I wanted to talk to you about the gala. Lila said she stopped by yesterday."
Some days it seemed as if Lila was my mother's daughter instead of me.
"She mentioned it," I said carefully.
"And?" My mother's voice rose with hope. "Are you going to come?"
I leaned against the shelf, closing my eyes. "Mom, I don't think it's really my scene."
"Amara." Her tone shifted, disappointed but not surprised. "You need to start putting yourself out there. You're twenty-six. Most Omegas your age are already mated."
Most Omegas your age aren't broken. That was what she wanted to say. It was the quiet part not being said, the part I had to swallow down.
"I'm fine where I am," I said after a beat.
"Working in a library? Sweetheart, you deserve more than this. You deserve a good Alpha. A nice home. A family."
In reality this was translating to what my cousin had. Lila, the girl who had the Alpha that should have been mine and the fashion accessories to match.
I bit at my lip before speaking again. "I have to go, Mom. Mrs. Luna needs me."
My mom sighed on the other end. "Amara, wait. Just think about it, okay? The Valentine gala is in two weeks. I already RSVP'd for you."
My stomach dropped. "You what?"
Her tone sounded a little cautious when she spoke again. "I RSVP'd for you. And I bought you a dress. It's beautiful, honey. You're going to love it."
Oh no, I thought.
"Mom, you can't just…"
She gave a huff of finality. "It's already done, sweetheart. I'll bring the dress by this weekend. We can have lunch. Talk about it."
She hung up before I could argue and I stood there in the aisle, my phone clutched in my hand, my chest tight.
She'd RSVP'd for me. And she'd bought me a dress without any input from me.
Why had she made these plans for me without asking.
That was Amelia though. She was a take charge and ask questions later type of woman.
By the time my shift ended, I was wound so tight I thought I might snap.
I needed... something.
Coffee?
No.
Kael.
The thought stopped me in my tracks as I locked up the library. I needed Kael? What in the world was going on, because when had that become a thing?
When had the soft-spoken baker with the warm eyes become the person I turned to when everything felt like too much?
Probably around the same time you started falling in love with him, a voice whispered in my head.
I shoved it down.
It wasn't love, he was just someone who was friendly and warm and a great listener. That was all.
The Ember & Crumb was still open when I got there, the windows glowing softly against the early evening sky.
Outside the bakery window, a small cluster of snowdrops had pushed through the frozen ground in the narrow flower bed along the sidewalk.
Tiny and white and impossibly brave, blooming in spite of the cold.
I could see Kael inside, moving around behind the counter.
Even from outside, I could tell how tall he was.
The way he had to duck slightly under the hanging light fixture.
The way his broad shoulders filled the space behind the counter.
My heart did that stupid flutter again and I took a breath before pushing the door open.
The bell chimed and he looked up immediately, like he'd been waiting for me.
God, the way he smiled.
His whole face transformed. Those hazel-green eyes, the ones I'd caught myself staring at more times than I could count, seemed to lighten. In the warm bakery light, I could see the flecks of gold in them. Like someone had scattered flecks of sunlight through green water.
"Hey," he said, setting down the cloth he'd been using to wipe the counter.
He straightened to his full height and I had to tilt my head back to meet his eyes. He had to be at least six foot two, maybe taller. But somehow he never made me feel small. He just made me feel safe and comfortable.
His short brown hair was slightly mussed, probably from running his hands through it. There was a smudge of flour on his forearm where he'd rolled up his sleeves.
God, he's finer than frog hair, I chuckled mentally.
He wasn't sharp and hard edged like a lot of Alphas were. No, Kael was gorgeous in the way a perfectly composed photograph was gorgeous. Every detail exactly right. The strong line of his jaw. The gentle curve of his mouth. I loved the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled.
"I was hoping you'd come by," he said.
"You say that like I don't come by every day," I managed, trying to sound normal.
Trying not to sound like my entire world had tilted on its axis this afternoon.
"Because it's true every day," he said, his smile widening just a little.
The gold flecks in his eyes seemed to catch the light and I felt my cheeks heat.
Stop staring at him like a creep, girl, I thought as I set my bag on the counter, my fingers trembling slightly.
He noticed immediately. He had the most observant eyes that never seemed to miss anything.
"Rough day?" he asked gently, leaning forward just a little.
Close enough that I could see the faint shadow of stubble along his jaw. It was then his scent hit me, and wrapped around me. I breathed in the smell of warm sugar and a smoky vanilla that I wanted to envelope myself in.
I laughed, but it came out shaky. "You could say that."
He didn't push me and he didn't ask any further questions. With a gentle stride, he moved to the display case, and I watched him closely. The man was so damn graceful for somebody so tall.
He pulled out a cinnamon nest bun from the case and handed it over to me.
It was still fresh and warm.
"I made these about an hour ago," he said, those hazel-green eyes meeting mine again. "Was hoping you'd stop by before I closed up."
You were hoping I'd stop by, I bit at my lip.
The words settled in my chest, warm and achingly sweet.
"Kael, you don't have to…"
"I know," he said, and there was something in his gaze that made my breath catch. Something intense and vulnerable and wanting. "But I want to."
The gold in his eyes seemed brighter now. Or maybe that was just my imagination.
Either way, I couldn't look away. He had me under this thrall and I wanted to drown beneath the waves if it meant spending all my time in his company.
"Thank you," I whispered, taking the plate.
He started making my coffee without me having to ask. I didn't need to ask him if he remembered, I just knew that he would.
I watched his hands as he worked. Large hands, that were strong from kneading dough every morning but still gentle. I'd seen that same gentleness in the way he handled the pastries. Even in the way he'd brushed my fingers when passing me my coffee.
So careful.
"So," he said as he poured, his back to me. Even from behind, he was beautiful. Broad shoulders tapering to a lean waist. The way his shirt stretched across his back when he reached for something. "What made today rough?"
I hesitated because I didn't usually talk about my life with strangers. I found it easier not to let people in.
But this was Kael.
And something about the way he asked, the way he moved, the way his scent wrapped around me like a blanket, made me want to tell him.
"My mother RSVP'd to some gala for me," I said. "Without asking."
He paused, just for a second, his shoulders tensing. Then he continued pouring. "The Solas Valentine Gala?"
I blinked. "How did you know?"
He turned, sliding the coffee across the counter. Those hazel eyes were carefully neutral, but there was something there. Something he wasn't saying.
"It's a big event. Everyone's talking about it."
Duh!
Of course people were talking about it. It was probably the social event of the season for people who cared about that sort of thing. I just wasn't really that type.
"Yeah, that one," I said. "My mom thinks I need to go. Meet some 'nice Alphas.'" I made air quotes around the words, unable to keep the bitterness out of my voice.
Kael's jaw tightened, just barely. But I saw it, saw the muscle jump beneath that perfect skin.
"And you don't want to go?" he asked.
"God, no," I said. "Can you imagine? Me, at some fancy gala, surrounded by people like..." I trailed off, thinking of Lila in her Chanel. Colin with his perfect hair and his perfect life. "People like my cousin."
"What's wrong with your cousin?" Kael asked, leaning against the counter.
He had to brace his hands on the edge, his long fingers splayed across the surface. I noticed the veins in his forearms. The way the muscles shifted when he moved.
Girl, get a grip, I thought.
"She's just... perfect," I said instead. "Perfect hair, perfect body, perfect Alpha boyfriend. She makes me feel like I'm…"
"Like you're what?"
There were a million thoughts running through my head but I didn't let them go past being a thought.
"Nothing," I said quickly. "It's stupid."
"It's not stupid," Kael said, his voice firm.
He straightened to his full height again and took a step closer but not to the point that he was touching or crowding me. But he got close enough that I had to look up to meet those hazel eyes of his with golden flecks.
"And for the record?" he said quietly. "I don't think you're nothing."
I looked up at him, startled.
His gaze had become intense, more intense than I'd ever seen it. The gold seemed to glow. Or maybe I was imagining it.
"You're the person I look for every morning," he said, his voice low and rough. "The person I bake for. The person who makes my whole day better just by walking through that door."
My heart stopped and I thought I might flat line right then and there.
"Kael," I whispered.
He shook his head, a small smile playing at his lips. "Sorry. That was probably too much."
"No," I said quickly. "No, it wasn't."
It was perfect.
It was the single most perfect thing I'd heard in a long time. We stood there for a long moment, the bakery quiet around us. The only sound was the soft hum of the ovens in the back and the occasional car passing outside.
His scent was stronger now, that warm sugar and smoky vanilla. It once again wrapped around me like an embrace.
I so wanted to just lean into him and be held by him.
There was this need to see if his chest was as solid as it looked. If those arms would feel as safe wrapped around me as I imagined.
Wanted things I'd never let myself want before.
"I should probably close up," Kael said finally, his voice rough.
"Right," I said, grabbing my coffee. "I should go."
But neither of us made a real move to do so. He just stood there, all six-foot-something of him, looking down at me with those eyes that seemed to see straight through me.
"Amara?"
"Yeah?"
He looked like he wanted to say something. His hands gripped the edge of the counter again, his knuckles white. The muscles in his forearms tensed.
"I..." He stopped. Took a breath that made his broad chest rise and fall. "If you do end up going to the gala, I hope you have a good time."
I was positive Kael had wanted to say more, but he didn't.
But I nodded anyway. "Thanks."
I gathered my things and headed for the door, my heart hammering in my chest.
"Amara?" he called just as I reached it.
I turned back.
He was watching me with those warm eyes, his tall frame backlit by the golden light of the bakery. His expression was soft and open and achingly vulnerable.
He was so beautiful it hurt.
"You're not nothing," his voice had dropped to a whisper. "You're everything."
The words hit me like a physical thing, my knees going weak and my hand trembling.
You're everything.
I managed a smile, my throat tight. "Goodnight, Kael."
"Goodnight."
I stepped out into the cool evening air, the cinnamon nest bun clutched in one hand, my coffee in the other. The sidewalk glistened faintly where patches of ice were beginning to melt, catching the light from the bakery window. And for the first time in years, I let myself hope.
Maybe I wasn't some worthless omega librarian who would never find a connection with someone.
Maybe, just maybe, someone actually saw me.
And maybe that someone was a six-foot-two baker with short brown hair, hazel-green eyes flecked with gold, and the kindest smile I'd ever seen.