8. Kallis
Kallis
My hands shake as I dip to the left and burst into the women’s restroom. It’s the only place I recognize where I can go without worrying that they will catch up to me. I’ll text Aspen and stay here until she finds me.
I gasp as I fling myself forward, grabbing the edge of the sink to stop from slipping to the ground.
My mind is spinning, dizzy as their scents sweep around me like a whirlwind.
The moment I inhale, a whine pours from my chest, and shock bounces around inside me.
I didn’t want it to go like that.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I attempt to control the overwhelm, but I want to punish myself for even speaking.
Why can’t I just be normal? Why do I always have to sound so angry?
But I panicked when they followed me, and all I wanted to do was throw myself at them and layer myself with their scents. My omega side is singing, and pleasure still burns through me. No matter what I say to establish a boundary, I will be the first to cross it if I’m not careful.
Omegas I’ve worked with all have romantic stories about the day they matched with their alphas, but I didn’t know it could be so powerful.
They’re delicious. I’ve never met alphas that literally make my mouth water and my knees weak because just their sheer presence is enough for me to purr.
Control is one thing I value over anything else in my life, but they are the complete opposite of that. And how did I react?
My mind stays fixed on Orso’s face when he saw the bite, the way his skin paled, how his brow furrowed. He really did look sorry, and I believed him when he said it was an accident.
But part of me doesn’t want it to be.
And that’s the part I need to keep quiet, or my future prospects will be based on my parents’ and my alpha’s achievements instead of my own merit. I’ll look pathetic if I go on a sabbatical to advance my career and come back mated to my coworkers.
I know as soon as I speak to Aspen about it, she’ll point out that her ability to do her job has never been judged by who her husband is; it’s just helped her along. But the gap between us because of our designations makes it harder.
I hate that I can’t sound relaxed or even smile. It’s always cold or clipped or angry.
I thought I had accepted when I was younger that I would be misunderstood by anyone I interacted with, but I just wanted to talk to them. Why can’t I have a proper conversation with them and explain how I feel, rather than panicking and beating them back with my words?
Groaning, my head falls forward. I push a hand against my mouth to stifle another whine. Their images are seared to the backs of my eyelids, and every time I blink, I see the three of them standing there as if they’re ready to capture me.
I tremble because I’m sure if they are close to me like that again, I’ll start slicking. But I want a chance to feel that lust without punishing myself for it.
Artie’s words of ownership ring clear in my head, and nervousness shakes me.
I don’t like the assumption that because we’re matches, I’ll magically submit to them.
The belief that omegas are possessions, that cliché statement of ‘mine’ that makes other omegas giddy, turns me off entirely.
It’s why I find alphas acting as if they have a natural right to claim an omega deeply distasteful.
And the way Artie spoke made my skin crawl.
I have to be better than that.
Except that Mathan is so big and wide that he looks like he could be the perfect place to land, while being strong enough to hold me. And Artie’s need was so palpable that I wanted him to unleash himself to show me his full desire.
I drew a line and ordered them not to cross it, and I’m not allowed to go near it either.
There’s nothing between us. No scent match, no accidental bite, nothing that will put my job at risk.
I still need to take initial scans to start my research before they leave for the summer, but I’ll be in a large examination room with the entire medical team, so there will be no chance for us to be alone.
All I have to do is adhere to my own rules, and we’ll all be safe.