29. Kallis
Kallis
I’m surprised I’m not on edge because of how Mathan growls with me. But since I’ve seen him growl when he’s truly angry, it’s easier to take it in stride.
I’m supposed to see Aspen today to report on any ‘juicy’ events during the week since I’d decided to let myself go for them. But I’ve been rattled since Artie’s accident, and the only times I’ve had with them were for brief moments during games when Artie invited me to join them in the evenings.
It was frustrating to spend the whole day in the building, knowing they were pushing themselves in practice, while I was stuck in my office with the memories of the time we’d spent there together.
And, on top of that, I had been sleeping with the bars Artie had given me tucked under my pillow. I thought the scent would remain after a week, but unfortunately, that was not the case. That’s what I got for rubbing plastic into my pillow and expecting the scents to stick.
I would say that now I’m at the point of needing their scents to fall asleep; it’s time to admit that I’m not as strong as I thought I could be, and I have to find something more than their scents for support.
That doesn’t mean I had to sit in Mathan Seely’s lap after I’d chosen not to take my suppressants today.
But I still settle back into Mathan, letting the rhythm of his breath carry me away.
I love how one arm firmly wraps around my stomach like he’ll never let me go, and the other lazily trails up and down my thigh.
His wildflowers call me like the memories of the town we share, and I can’t remember ever feeling so safe.
“How’s your arm?” I ask. “I’ll need to check again for lasting damage.”
“Don’t worry about it for now,” he murmurs, warm air brushing over my ear. “Let me hold you, and we can talk about it later.”
Despite his obvious come-ons and flirting, it’s so easy to relax with him as we watch Orso taking shots at Artie, which is amusing as well, especially because Artie is shouting at Orso for firing too hard.
Neither of us fails to notice our slight reflection in the brightly polished barrier. It’s enough for us to throw glances at each other, our gazes meeting and hopping away as tension builds between us.
It’s been ten minutes, and Mathan must notice that my scent thickens the longer he strokes me, and how I keep grinding my shoulders against his chest. However, that’s mainly because the jacket I wore is slightly too tight, making my nipples ache.
It’s as if he has a sixth sense for it, as he peers over my shoulder. “How were your breasts after the last time?”
“You’re lucky I’m not outraged by that question,” I reply as my scent insists on increasing. I briefly stopped taking my scent suppressants outside of a heat a year ago when I had a fever, and it appears my body is catching up on all the perfuming it’s missed out on.
“You asked about my arm; it’s only natural I ask about your breasts.”
“That’s completely flawed logic,” I reply, which just makes him laugh and hug me more tightly.
He nuzzles my ear, our eyes locked in the shining plastic. “I could tell you what I’m really thinking, but I don’t want you to run away. This is just to ease you into it.”
I tip my head, the back knocking against his biceps so I can look up at him again.
Albeit awkward, his smile makes the position worth it as it sends more heat spiraling through my body.
I become so soft whenever I’m with him, because I know I can just be with him.
Is this what Aspen meant when she said to try something?
Because it feels safer to let Mathan hold me than to confront Orso’s powerful nature, or Artie’s pressing need.
“Kallis,” Mathan says, his voice low enough to make me shiver.
“I care about you, and your body, and I want to make sure we treat you right. We were pretty forceful with you back then, considering we hadn’t been together before.
If we want to get closer to you, we have to know what you like and dislike. ”
Would it be safe to tell him I don’t know as much about my own body as I should at my age?
The alphas I’ve had sex with during my heats liked to explore, but I had no interest in it.
I needed a knot, and they were in a rut, so we balanced each other out.
But I don’t want to dismiss these alphas’ needs and treat them like tools.
Despite already sitting on his lap and hoping for a repeat of what happened in my office, I’m still unsure about being so forward. Do I actually take the chance to learn and fully explore what I enjoy?
All I know now is that Mathan’s hand is too far from my pussy, and I want to show all three of them how my body reacts to them.
“Do you know what would make me happy, Mathan?” I ask, as I unfold my arms.
I return to my original position. Head down, I reach for the bottom of my jacket and undo the lowest button before working my way up.
I’m nervous to look at our reflections as I pull it apart bit by bit to reveal my bare stomach, my naked torso, and I pop the final button to show that I’ve left my blouse and bra in my office.
“You…” Mathan chokes as a thick layer of wildflowers coats us, and I can’t stop my moan. “Do you know what you’re doing?” Heat fills his gaze, and I’m certain his body warms.
“That makes it sound like you think I made a mistake. Maybe I should go and retrieve my bra.” I sit up, but his grip instantly tightens, and I suck in a breath as he tugs me back to his chest.
“Don’t move a muscle,” he groans, pressing a kiss against my neck, and I instantly melt. “I don’t know what I’ll do if you try to escape this time.”
A tremor runs through me, and I can’t tell if it’s a threat or a promise. It’s a different kind of need compared to Orso’s command when they found me in my nest.
I want to push him. It’s a new desire that has woken up inside me since the three of them explored me. One where I want to discover the best methods to make them snap.
My strength usually lies in my skills as a doctor, but now that I have experienced them losing control to their lust, I want to expand my reach.
“And what will you do if I stay?” I ask, rolling my shoulders just enough so that my jacket falls open and I expose myself to him.
Seeing Mathan’s chest made me unbearably needy, so surely it would be the same if the situation were reversed?
I have never been so forward, and my nerves grow ever stronger, along with the panic that he might reject me. Aspen was certain they would like whatever I do, but I have no absolute guarantee.
A low growl rumbles from him, electrifying me to my core.
I feel like I’ve already come so far, and now I have to commit.
If I ruin our relationship because of my actions, won’t it work out better for me in the end?
Because then I won’t have to deal with them emotionally, and I can focus on my research.
But that thought causes a twinge in my chest.
I still decide to try.
“If you’re so worried about my breasts, then a massage would most likely help, no?” I tilt my head, curiously meeting his gaze. “I’ve been learning sports massage from the therapists, though they say I have a very stiff technique.”
As I lift my hands to my breasts to show him what I’ve learned so far, Mathan reacts so quickly that I gasp.
He suddenly grabs my wrists, fixing me in place. More need and pleasure burn through me at how fierce he looks. I’ve never seen him wear that expression off the ice.
“I thought I asked you not to move,” he says, his words forced, but it feels as if he’s struggling just as much as I am.
“So, do it for me,” I say simply.
I’m already quivering from his hold on my wrists, and I need him to touch me more intimately.
“It’s your choice, Mathan. Massage my breasts, or I will, and you may watch.
” My request is undermined by the tremor in my voice and curls of honey drenched with desire.
His lips trace my shoulder, his hips rolling under my ass, his wide stomach firm against my back as he releases my wrists.
I place my hands on my lap, not sure what to do with them in this situation.
“I love the freckles that scatter your chest. I’d kiss all of them if I wasn’t so distracted.”
I jump as he cups my breasts, and a gasp rips from me. I jerk, knocking into his chest.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, as I nearly choke.
“Your hands are too cold,” I tut as I wriggle under him, the strange blend of his soft and cool skin unnerving me. “How can I feel you properly when your skin is like ice?”
“I guess there’s only one way to warm them up then,” he says as he squeezes his hands, and a moan pours from me as he stays true to his word.
He massages me, his fingers covering every inch of my small breasts as his palms press against my nipples, and I arch into his touch.
Tingles scatter across my skin, all originating from him. I don’t realize that the feeling that has plagued me all week is longing, and I’ve missed them enough that just his hands free the anxious tightness in my chest.
“What do you think?” he asks as he speeds up.
“I agree, it’s a very efficient way to warm them up,” I groan in reply. “But my nipples are aching.” I want to feel the same pressure he gave me when he sucked on them. “Do you want to help me?”
“This is wild,” he murmurs, his lips against the ridges of my spine.
“If I’ve done something wrong, tell me. I worry about you more than you know,” I say. I didn’t think honesty could be so exhilarating. Except he grows silent, his hands pausing as he draws in a deep breath.
“Mathan?” I ask, already concerned I’ve gone too far. I thought he would be comfortable with at least this much.
“You’re so sexy. I can’t deal with it,” he says as he takes my nipples between his thumbs and index fingers, rolling them softly. My cry is light as harsh pleasure winds through me, and I’m writhing under him as I ask for more.
Mathan is slow at first, our gazes locked in the barrier as my pleasure builds. Each rub and tweak makes me more open to him, and my moans grow louder.