52. Kallis
Kallis
Mathan and Orso know it’s coming, but Artie continues to chatter as we adjust ourselves on the bed, bubbling over with happiness.
I need to go home and get organized, and part of that includes removing my things from Artie’s bedroom, which I’m incredibly reluctant to do. Not just because everything feels like home in their cottage, but because of Artie’s disappointment.
The sense of belonging that Mathan first conjured in me permeates the house. Though I barely had a chance to explore it, their scents are soaked into the walls, making it just right.
I sit huddled between Mathan’s legs on Artie’s bed as he caresses my shoulders, both of us steaming from the bath.
I’m still light-headed from fucking him, but I have to focus.
Artie is gushing with plans for the future, dropping the words ‘pack’ and ‘bond’ every now and again.
I need to be honest with him before it goes too far.
He dances around his bedroom, showing off his clothes and organizing his things to complement my nest accessories.
Orso sits in front of me, adding to Mathan’s tender care by massaging my hands with precision I didn’t expect.
He gently rubs each of my fingers, his own hands shaking like it’s taking everything in him not to use his full strength.
And it’s so touching that warmth fills me, along with the urge to hold them again.
Despite how lovely it feels, I have to start.
“I go back to work tomorrow, and I’m sure you three need to practice. We leave for Baltimore the day after, and I know you can’t afford to slack off, especially because I kept you from your games.”
Artie pauses as he kneels on the floor to retrieve something from under the bed, and Orso’s fingers are still on mine. They both raise their heads as tension stains the air.
“I have to return to my house to adjust myself after this, and I hope we won’t make a scene at work either.” I meet Orso’s gaze, and he nods.
“That would be for the best. I don’t want anyone getting too excited, and you’ve distracted us enough already.
” His smile is stiff, but I nearly laugh at how his face creases.
I only have experience of workplace romances through watching other couples and packs, so I really have no idea what will happen moving forward.
I suspect Orso’s hard look is because he’s already trying to plan it out as well.
“You could just leave your stuff here,” Artie says, his head poking up. “We have a spare room you could keep them in if you want.” Except it’s obvious what that room is for, because it’s roughly the same size as the nesting space in my house. That is more hope than I should give him.
I’ve said a lot of things in the past four days under the influence of my omega side. Not that I didn’t mean them, but there’s a wide gap between my feelings during a heat and my grounded self, who is already coming to terms with my actions.
The same worries as before hang over my head. Such as how my relationship with them could affect my standing at the hospital, how people would view me, how this could make me less of a person because I would simply become their omega.
“Artie, please come here,” I say, stretching out my free hand. He bites his lip as he rises, clutching me as he crawls onto the bed. Mathan releases my shoulders and edges beside me so I can see him as well. I want to talk to all of them directly, face-to-face.
“I’ve already explained this to Mathan and Orso, but I have to tell you that this might not lead to anything permanent between the four of us. My feelings are genuine, but I told you when we first met that my priority is my career.”
“That’s totally fine; we can wait until you’re ready,” Artie replies. “It’s not like we’re going to find another omega. You’re the one for us, Bee.”
I glance at Mathan and Orso. Mathan’s dejected look cuts through my heart, but Orso gives me another firm nod. Maybe it’s because Artie is younger that he doesn’t understand what I’m really saying.
I squeeze Artie’s hand, making him look straight at me.
“I need you to realize that I won’t promise you anything except that I’ll do what I can to make this work.
My feelings for you all have risen so suddenly that I need time with myself.
I can’t go from being alone my whole life to joining a pack.
I need to take this slow for my own happiness, as well as yours. ”
“But I don’t need time, Bee. I’ll make you my priority. You’ll be our most important person, and you’ll never have to worry about us leaving you. I promise.”
He twists our hands so he can thread his fingers through mine. His earnest expression is too challenging. I really don’t want to tell him no.
“Bee, I’ll drop everything for you, I promise. If you want me to move to the city, if you want to have a family, or need a housemaid, or whatever, I’ll do it all for you!”
I don’t need to be bonded to them to feel Orso’s ache, as Artie says.
Mathan moves in, unsticking our hands as he kisses his youngest mate’s forehead. “Just listen to what Kallis is saying because Orso and I agree with her. Think about everything we’ve been through since we met each other.”
“This is something I’ve been struggling with from the beginning,” Orso admits, his chin dipping as he avoids my gaze. “I thought you were going to come in and demand to bond with us instantly, and we’d have to deal with you invading our lives.”
“Do you think I’m that kind of person?” I ask.
“Not anymore.” Orso shakes his head, and I just see the edge of his smile. “I’m saying I’m grateful you want to take it slow as well. I’m glad we don’t have to deal with all the bullshit that comes with falling in love at first scent.”
Mathan rolls his eyes, but I’m not deterred. Because it’s the most honest Orso has been with me since we’ve met. Even more than when he was in rut and telling me, ‘I fucking love you—your pussy.’
It also explains why he’s so supportive each time I try to put distance between us.
“I’m not particularly fond of that phrasing, but I understand what you mean,” I say. Nerves spike in me, my voice essentially lifeless. But I still take a risk and reach forward to cup Orso’s cheek. I don’t know if it’s too much for him; everything is new territory now.
“I don’t want to invade your life, Orso. Just let me get to know you properly before we make any huge decisions.”
Orso’s eyes slowly close, leaning into my touch. His sudden vulnerability steals my breath. I want to freeze the moment and take a snapshot of him, because I’m certain it’s only something he shows to those he trusts.
Artie pops his head between us with a grin, and I flinch at the sudden movement.
“See?” he asks. “We can totally get along! It’s going to be fine; you just need to spend more time with us. Maybe a lil’ bit of extra loving will change your mind!”
My hand falls from Orso’s cheek, and my heart skips as he returns to his massage with the hint of a smile.
I’m sure Artie is still high from my heat. It could be too soon for this conversation, but I don’t want to leave their house with words unsaid.
“I’m not rejecting you, Artie. I just don’t want to jump into a relationship where we live in different parts of the state, and you travel for half the year.
I work for at least six days a week, and I’ll return to Philadelphia for stretches of time for my research, and that’s only while I’m in Aurum. You know this position is temporary.”
He goes quiet, pensive, his expression serious. I need to endure the guilt for my own security.
“Artie,” I say softly. “I don’t want to share a bite with you if it means we spend more time pining for each other than we’re actually together. And I don’t want to hurt you. None of us, not even you, can guarantee that our relationship will survive the distance.”
“But I’ll pine for you anyway.” He moves nearer, and Mathan’s hands pause on my shoulders. “I’ve craved an omega all my life, Bee. I can’t give you up now.”
I don’t know how to make it click for him. But my body is growing more tense, my voice filling with ice. I’m struggling to tell him that I know I will love each of them wholly one day, but I needed to protect us all from deeper heartbreak should my career take a different path.
The bed rustles and dips, and Orso kneels beside me. His arm snakes closer, resting over my stomach, and the place he fucked me so deeply that I broke, just like he asked me to.
He nudges the shell of my ear with his nose, his voice a low hum. “You can hide behind not making promises to us and keeping your distance, but you’ll have to face this one day,” Orso murmurs, his clover scent sweeping around me.
The ‘just like I did’ hangs in the air, but he doesn’t need to say it.
“I will,” I reply, turning my head so my nose bumps his, both of our gazes hard.
Though understanding hangs there as well.
“I still have five months of research left. Who’s to say what will happen then?
” Except I fold my arms, easing away from him to look at Artie.
I glare so fiercely I’m sure he thinks I’m angry.
But they’ve shaken me in a way I can’t describe, and I need to find my feet again before throwing myself back into their arms.
“I’m definitely not saying no to you all; I’m just being realistic. Please don’t pressure me. Just trust me to be honest with you.”
“And what if we want to devour you instead?” Orso asks, nipping my ear before his lips descend to my neck.
“Yeah, Bee. You should know what happens when you enter a Bear’s cottage. Especially when you eat all our oat bars, use us as chairs, and sleep in all of our beds.” Artie grins as he drops to all fours.
“Did you listen to anything I just said?” I ask, their scents already thickening with desire. I respond in kind, need curling in my core directly under Orso’s hand.
The second they scent my slick, Artie lights up, a low growl rumbles from Orso, and Mathan wraps his arms around my chest.
“It’s okay.” Mathan chuckles. “I know we’re not the best at boundaries, but we can learn with you.”
He said that once before, but I’m still waiting for an improvement.
I look up as three shadows cast over me, very sure I’m about to be eaten alive. But this time, without a doubt, I’m happy to be consumed.