Chapter Six
Taryn
I’d thought I could accept my choice quietly, but once again, the alien brought out the worst in me.
My stomach twisted as I walked through the quiet halls of the North American Alliance Building. I’d been there before, but never in the medical wing, and the stark white walls were a sharp contrast to the luxury in other parts of the building.
My aunt kept pace at my side, silent, but I could feel the disapproval radiating from her. I knew it wasn’t directed at me as much as at the situation, but it was too late to turn back now.
Permanent.
It was a word that applied to so little in life, yet I’d confirmed with the doctor that this was an irreversible change. If the serum worked on me, and she stated there was a ninety-six percent chance it would, my DNA would be altered and there was no way to return to being Human.
What the fuck are you doing, Taryn?
It was too late for the question. I never would have agreed to something so life-altering if it hadn’t been for the disbandment of the dog unit, but left feeling like I’d lost my place in the world, it had seemed like a good enough alternative.
Now I’d have no place in my world and would start over on a new one.
There were so many questions that came with that. They tumbled around and tangled in my mind until they were a distraction I had to shove aside. For the moment, my time was limited, and I had other priorities.
Letting out a careful breath as we stepped through the outer doors, I waited as my aunt flagged her driver and he brought the vehicle over.
We’d arrived separately since we came from different cities, but there was no reason for me to use the transportation the UEC had arranged when I could ride with her.
Facing my mother was going to be more difficult than facing the massive alien I was expected to marry.
Mate, I corrected myself. The Morrak didn’t have formal documentation or legal systems for pairs the way Humans did. The ceremony we had to go through was far more… primal.
I shut the door on that wormhole as I climbed in beside my aunt.
The details of the Zha’Khorr Valryn had been quite clear, and that was something I was going to have to face when I had time to focus.
Calling it duty had gotten me into the injection chair, but it was going to take more than that to get naked and let an alien fuck me in front of an audience.
“Taryn…”
My aunt trailed off. She had to be struggling as much as I was to find something to say. We weren’t in a normal situation, and I knew she likely blamed herself.
If she wasn’t a councilor she wouldn’t have been required to provide collateral. I knew that’s what we were, but despite the insanity of it, a part of me was relieved there had been something necessary I could do.
“It’s okay, Aunt Hannah. Someone had to do it, and it might as well be me. I—I needed a direction. And he said I’ll get to visit, so it’s not like I’m being sacrificed and you’ll never see me again.”
The back seat of her vehicle was wide enough that we weren’t touching but we didn’t need to be for me to know she was tense.
“But you’re sacrificing your career. Everything you’ve built.”
Sighing, I stared ahead, unable to meet her eyes.
“My career is over anyway. I’m sick of seeing the dogs used and abused like they’re nothing more than tools. Part of me was desperate to get away, but guilt kept me there, because if I didn’t take care of them, who would?”
I finally turned to look at her. I’d ripped my chest open and exposed my heart, but I’d always felt safe talking to her. She never judged, and unlike my mother, I never felt like I was disappointing her.
My aunt reached over and placed her hand atop mine on my thigh, squeezing gently. I could see the way she struggled to smile, but I knew she was being honest when she spoke again.
“I hope you can find happiness, but I fear you’re only in for more heartache.”
I did my best to smile back, turning my hand to squeeze hers in return.
“I’ll settle for having a purpose. We’re both aware this is only political. Neither of us is foolish enough to hope for romance.”
My stomach twisted again, making me grimace. My arm throbbed from the injection, but it was a dull pain I ignored.
“Still, the general isn’t who I’d have wanted for you. He doesn’t seem like the type to be very… easy to live with.”
I frowned and swallowed. It took a moment of scanning through my memories to realize the Morraki had never bothered to introduce himself. I didn’t know his name, much less where he ranked in Morrakan society.
“He’s the general?”
Aunt Hannah nodded.
“That’s what we’ve been told, although they have different words for it. Rhydek Kaorr is the second in command, below Commander Draevahn. Tore-ash-something.”
My pulse picked up. The attitude matched what I’d have expected from someone in that position, and it made sense that he’d said there would be frequent trips to Earth.
Someone in that position would have a lot of responsibilities, which could turn out to be a good thing if we couldn’t find a way to get along since it would mean less time together if he was always busy.
“Well, that’s good.”
My aunt’s brow arched, begging me to explain.
“His position means frequent trips to Earth, so I’ll be able to visit regularly, and it provides protection.”
I didn’t care about his position or being protected, but I knew that was something that would reassure both my aunt and my mother. My mom was going to have a hard time accepting what I’d done, and I wanted to make it as easy for her as possible without giving her all the details.
“With both of their highest members mated to Humans, it should assure cooperation. You said we need them. That’s why we’re doing this. And if he’s a bit of a grump, it’s nothing I’m not used to. Better me than someone who doesn’t have a military background.”
My aunt sighed, shaking her head.
“You don’t always have to sacrifice yourself, Taryn. You’ve been the first to step forward since you were a kid. I actually thought you’d go into politics like me, but it’s okay to stand back and protect yourself too.”
I wrinkled my nose at that, and Aunt Hannah let out a huff, the smile I was most familiar with on her starting to come back. I’d never wanted anything to do with politics and wouldn’t have had anything to do with the military either if it hadn’t been for the dogs.
“Those who can, should. Someone else might not do it right.”
She chuckled, releasing my hand to fold hers in her lap. I missed the warmth of her fingers curled around mine, but I would never admit it. Instead, I rubbed my sternum, swallowing back another wave of nausea.
Either it was nerves over facing my mother, or a side effect of the injection.
The doctor had gone through the usual spiel about how we might feel, but I’d tuned out most of it since I’d been more focused on ignoring the alien who wouldn’t stop staring at me as if he was a giant cat who’d found a mouse and didn’t know if it would be more fun to eat it or play with it.
A shiver rolled down my spine, and I swayed as the driver made a turn. Vehicles like my aunt’s could double as private shuttles for long distance travel, but only outside city limits, so he had to follow the streets until we were clear.
A hint of my aunt’s frown returned but she didn’t say anything. We made small talk for the rest of the trip, and by the time we were climbing the porch steps at my mother’s house, there was no doubt I was growing feverish.
“Don’t give her all the details, please. The basics are enough. I don’t want her to worry.”
My aunt cocked a brow at me and her lips twitched as she waved at the sensor by the door to alert my mother we were there.
“You forget I’ve lived with her far longer than you have. I’m not saying a thing.”
Sharing a smile over my mother’s reputation as a worrywart, I buried the quiver of fear that tried to slither through my thoughts as the door swung open. My mother smiled but she couldn’t hide the anxiety in her eyes as she looked between the two of us.
“Why do I feel like you were talking about me, and this isn’t just a social visit?”
It was difficult to keep my smile from sliding into a grimace, so I pulled my mother into a hug to keep her from seeing my face until I got it under control. When I pulled back the crease between her brows had deepened.
“That only makes me more certain you’ve got bad news.”
By the time I escaped my parents I was exhausted and sweat soaked my blouse. My mother hadn’t been happy with the news that I’d been chosen and already received the injection, but promising to visit had mollified her somewhat.
My father had remained tight lipped through most of the explanation, but in the end, he sided with me, confirming to my mother that my decision had been the best option available.
It had been pure chance that I’d been one of the three selected, and backing out of the agreement simply because it was uncomfortable would make the whole family look bad.
Not that he would have stopped me if I had wanted to. I saw how torn he was, because I’d gotten my sense of honor from him, but I was also his little girl, and he didn’t trust the aliens any more than they trusted us.
My aunt offered to give me a lift back to my vehicle at the station, but after hours with the three of them, I was ready for solitude. My shivering and nausea had increased, my head throbbing in time with my pulse, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep hiding it.
The speeder I hired was blessedly silent, and I cranked the heat setting to high. I was already sweating but I couldn’t handle cold air blowing on me.
As soon as I walked through my front door I popped open a bottle of medication and downed two pills, setting a reminder for the next dose.
I plopped down in the chair at my desk, trying to shove my fuzzy thoughts into line, only to wake when the alarm went off four hours later with my face in a puddle of drool on the desktop.