Chapter Nine #2
I glanced down. Blood from my earlier sparring had created streaks on my arms, and there was a place where my pants stuck to me that suggested it was saturated with blood as well.
“It’s nothing.”
She tipped her head, her expression a blend of emotions I couldn’t understand. I ate another protein stick as if I didn’t notice before reaching for a bowl of steamed dakrethin.
“This is a plant from Morrakan that Saed has said contains a necessary nutrient for Humans. If you did not like this preparation it can be cooked in other ways.”
She waved her hand as if she was brushing my comment away.
“It was fine. Why were you fighting?”
The question was simple. Direct. I considered lying, but mates were supposed to be honest with each other, and even if our union wasn’t by choice, I had to honor it.
“It was necessary.”
Her face hardened as if she didn’t like the answer. I found it amusing to answer her truthfully without giving any real information and watch her get irritated.
“Why?”
I paused, searching for the simplest way to explain without giving away too much.
“For discipline.”
Her eyes searched my face, but I went back to eating, feigning relaxation.
“That’s not what that was.”
My chest tightened and I had to force down the bite I’d been chewing, drawing my brows together to glare at her.
“You presume much.”
Her own brow arched as she crossed her arms over her chest, and I realized my response confirmed what she’d guessed.
“I recognize self-destruction when I see it.”
It was a statement. She was confident in her assessment, and it irritated me because she was right.
My claws dug into the cuts on my palms as I resisted the urge to snarl at her.
Perhaps Isolde would have been a better mate after all.
The red-colored Human had been too busy talking to be as perceptive as Taryn appeared to be.
“I’m not destroying anything.”
Taryn’s head tipped and my skin crawled with the sensation that she could see through me. That she knew the reason behind my actions.
“You don’t have to punish yourself.”
My tail whipped behind me as silence fell between us. Her blue eyes bore into mine, digging for purchase I refused to give her.
The hum of the ship grew louder, the trickle of blood down the back of my arm causing an unbearable itch. I took a step toward her before I could stop myself, my kethra glowing bright yellow as control slipped.
“You think you understand me? You don’t know me.”
I kept the words quiet. Controlled. I was proud of my restraint, until I saw the flash of pity in her eyes.
“I think you think this is your fault.”
My teeth ached and my claws pierced my palms deep enough for blood to well and drip to the floor as I snarled.
“It is.”
She held my gaze, not flinching from my aggression. I’d known warriors who couldn’t do that, yet this Human female remained calm.
“I agreed.”
The words were another cut and defense my automatic reaction to a wound.
“You didn’t understand what agreeing would do to you. I never should have chosen you.”
There was a flash of pain across her face that stole my breath before her expression hardened.
“If not me, then another like me. I understood enough to do my duty.”
I gnashed my teeth, muscles coiled as if prepared to fight, but this was a foe that they couldn’t help defeat.
“You are in pain.”
“So, getting hurt helps me in some way?”
The question caught me off guard and I straightened from my tense position. Her gaze flicked to my ribs as if she could see the bruising beneath my korrvek, then to my split lip as if she could see the blow that caused it.
“You let them beat you?”
I scoffed, shaking out my arms and forcing my muscles to loosen.
“No. We trained.”
She already looked as if she didn’t believe me, and there was no reason to admit I’d purposefully pitted myself against multiple warriors to be sure I couldn’t win.
“Weakness must be destroyed.”
Shaking her head, she sighed before rubbing a hand over her face.
“That’s not what you’re destroying.”
Her voice was frayed, as if she were at the end of her energy and even speaking took effort.
“You don’t get to take ownership of my choices just because you’re some tore-ash-whatever. More like just an ass. I know I could have backed out.”
I froze, my tail going stiff behind me. She saw too much, but the threat she didn’t realize she made was what had my heart pounding.
“You didn’t force me into the chair to get the injection, and you didn’t hold me there.”
I swallowed and dragged air into my lungs, forcing my voice to come out steady when I felt anything but.
“I selected you when you told me not to.”
She pinned me with a glare I deserved.
“And I sat in the chair and assured the doctor I was willing. I walked into that gala knowing there was a chance…”
She trailed off as if unable to put into words what had happened. Her chest was heaving along with mine, but of us struggling, but for different reasons.
“Stop trying to carry it all. Arguing with you is exhausting.”
The words might have angered another male, but it wasn’t anger I felt. I was… unsettled.
She closed her eyes again, seeming to shrink into herself. She radiated misery, and the argument was only making it worse.
“You’re not well.”
She huffed and then sucked in a deep breath. If it hadn’t been steady I might have ignored her request not to see a Kethral.
“No, I’m not.”
The admission cost her. I saw the price in her eyes.
She tried to rise but swayed, and I was at her side in an instant. Her hands fisted in my shirt as her balance failed, and heat poured off her in waves.
I lifted her before she could protest, carrying her to the bed, tail pulling the coverings back so I could place her within. She was too hot, yet she shivered violently, her teeth clacking so hard I could hear it.
“You need more medication.”
It took her a moment before she nodded, her eyes already closed. Her hand lifted, finger pointing towards the table beside the bed where her glass had sat. There was a small container there, but I couldn’t read the words on it.
I passed it to her and watched as she fumbled it open, shaking two small white tabs into her palm. I took the container as she tipped her head back and dropped the pills into her mouth, watching as she swallowed with a grimace.
Her fingers caught my wrist before I could turn away, her blue eyes staring up at me.
“Don’t do it again.”
Her voice was faint, her tone pleading. I didn’t have to guess what she was referring to, the itch of dried blood present on more than one place on my body.
“If you don’t want me to, I will not.”
Her eyes closed again as her lips curled a tiny degree.
“Good.”
Within moments, her grip loosened as sleep took her.
I didn’t want to admit the relief coursing through me, because I was torn. I didn’t want a mate, but I also didn’t want to be a bad mate.
I stayed with Taryn, seated on the opposite edge of the bed, watching the rise and fall of her chest. I told myself I was monitoring her breathing.
I counted the interval between the tremors passing through her, studying the shades of red her skin went through. For a species who supposedly didn’t change color, her flesh was able to alter to a surprising degree.
I didn’t notice the passage of time. Eventually my stomach cramped from hunger again, but I ignored it.
I’d eaten enough after Taryn had that I could wait until she was able to intake more before I did as well.
If her body had to burn itself down and rebuild from the inside out, I could endure an empty stomach.
When Taryn stirred again, it was with a low whine of discomfort that pulled at my instincts. Her scent had changed as she slept, becoming less foreign and more enticing.
Another thing I tried to ignore.
Her body twisted beneath the bedding as if she fought to be free of it, and I adjusted the covers. I wanted to smooth the damp strands of hair from her face, but I stopped myself, pulling my hands away.
Then my tail did it anyway.
Her skin was marginally cooler. An improvement, even if the scent of illness still clung to her. She blinked awake slowly, gaze less glassy than it had been when her eyes closed.
“Hey.”
I dipped my chin, still watching her. She blinked again and looked away, searching the room as if she expected something to have changed.
“How long did I sleep?”
Checking the communicator on my belt, I judged the time she’d been unconscious.
“Slightly more than a full vorrash.”
Her brow creased and I corrected my words.
“A whole darkness cycle.”
She exhaled softly before looking at me again.
“Did you eat or sleep?”
My brow arched at the accusation already laced through the words. All my korrvek were the same, so there was no way she could tell I hadn’t changed.
“I was keeping watch over you.”
She sighed and shook her head as she pushed herself upright. My fingers itched with the desire to help her, so I crossed my arms and clenched them into my own skin.
“You’re impossible.”
Lips twitching, I bowed my head.
“So I’ve been told.”
The corner of her mouth lifted into a faint smile as she studied me for a long moment.
“Are you trying to be funny?”
Huffing, I turned away and stood. Since she was awake, she would need sustenance.
“I would never try to be funny.”
She made a low noise of disbelief, and I remained turned away until I could wrangle my expression into compliance. Striding to the portal, I glanced back in time to see her wince as she shifted.
“I will return with food. Stay there.”
Her brows dipped, her smile slipping away. For some reason it made my stomach twist.
“You don’t have to treat me like glass. I’ll be fine.”
Turning to face her, I let my arms drop to my sides.
“I’m not.”
The look she gave me said more than her words.
“You are.”
Letting my smirk show, I shook my head.
“No, I’m just preventing you from breaking.”
She huffed again and then sighed, gaze dropping to her lap.
“I’m sturdier than I seem.”
Nodding in agreement, my voice came out with an edge of rumble I couldn’t stop.
“I’m aware.”
Her eyes met mine again before she uttered a single word.
“Good.”
She wasn’t trying to defy me, but neither was she surrendering. I found I liked that better than the idea of a meek female who bowed beneath every command with no resistance.
Taryn was not weak. She was not submissive. She was choosing to endure the pain and fulfill her duty, but that was different.
Very different.
“I will return.”
For the first time since being told to attend the Selection again, I didn’t see a burden in my future. I saw Taryn fighting a battle inside her own body, proving she was strong enough to stand at my side.
If I’d let her.