Chapter Twenty
Rhydek
The warmth spreading through my chest at the relief on her face was stupid. It shouldn’t matter that agreeing with her request made her happy, I had agreed to allow her to be in danger again.
But thyhul interacted with the varkuun daily, training them and bringing them fresh meat, and blood to drink. I even knew of some thyhul who spent their free time with their varku, lounging in the sand with them or taking them out to hunt. It was only the ones with a rakhul, but it happened.
But my clan was one of the few who bred varkuun, and I’d been exposed to them since I was young.
I knew the gory stories of wild varku killing warriors, and Morraki being maimed while trying to train a varku pup.
We might have fought alongside the varkuun in the past, but only the ones with a rakhul.
The untethered beasts were released prior to our troops coming through, and many had to be put down afterwards.
I tried to ease the tension in my shoulders as I opened the door and waited for Taryn to pass through before closing it again.
“These doors must always remain closed. Give me your hand.”
I wasn’t sure I wanted her to be able to access the building without me, but the thought of her being trapped with no way to escape if something were to happen meant I didn’t have a choice about adding her to the system.
Taryn didn’t hesitate to hold out her hand, and I was careful not to apply too much pressure as I curled my fingers around her wrist. It was so small and delicate it felt like I was holding the arm of a child, although the rest of her was anything but childlike.
That reality was too apparent. It was getting harder and harder to resist the pull of her body, and I’d spent a sleepless night with my tail firmly pinned between my knees as I gripped the tip to be sure it didn’t act on the impulses playing through my mind.
Pressing her palm to the datapad, I did what was necessary to ensure she could open the door if needed. It might mean a varku escaping if one was behind her, but that was better than her being pinned between the heavy metal and a massive beast intent on killing her.
“If you need to open the door, press your palm to the pad and tap your center finger. Just a tap on the screen on the opposite side closes it.”
Her face was serious as she met my gaze and nodded. I had to trust that she was familiar enough with potentially lethal creatures to be as cautious as she should be, and I could only hope I wouldn’t come to regret my decision to give in and allow her to be there.
I spent the rest of the day following her around and watching her as she studied the varkuun.
She asked intelligent questions, about the species as a whole, and whenever we encountered a handler, of the individual varku.
She kept to the center of the path, well out of reach of claws and tail, but I saw the hunger on her face.
The desire to reach out and touch.
That look was mirrored on my own face.
It was a relief when Vorrashan’s light began waning and I could insist we leave.
“The winds will pick up soon.”
The reminder was enough for Taryn to agree without fuss, and I led her down to the River Caverns once again. I had planned to return to the cove with cooler water and more privacy, but gentle fingers on my arm stopped me.
“Is there an area with hot water? To soak away aches…”
She trailed off as my brows lowered. She’d been moving slow, but I thought it was due to caution in the varkuun kennels, and then exhaustion afterward. I hadn’t realized she was in pain.
“Do you need a Kethral? A… healer?”
Her immediate denial eased the tightness that had gripped me.
“No, I’m just a little sore.”
I stared at her a moment longer, processing. There were things I could do, ways to help her, but it meant putting my hands on her, and I wasn’t sure I could handle that
Or be able to stop once I started.
“Okay,” I said, dipping my head and then altering course.
There were multiple hot springs warriors used for soothing sore muscles, but I aimed for some of the deeper ones, farther from any of the entrances.
It made them more likely to be empty, which I both wanted, and dreaded.
It was easier to maintain control when others were near enough to see, but the alpha side of me that craved her favor wanted her to be comfortable.
When we reached the pools I had in mind, some of my worry eased. They weren’t empty, but the two Morraki soaking in one of the pools were an older bonded pair. They gave us curious looks when they heard our steps, then closed their eyes and went back to soaking.
“Test the water and be sure it’s not too warm.”
I knew my natural temperature was higher than a Human’s, so what was warm to me might be hot to her, and I didn’t want her sensitive skin scalded.
Taryn passed me and dipped one foot into the water, letting out a quiet hiss but not flinching back.
“This is good.”
She had already begun to shed her clothing as she spoke, and I turned my back under the guise of walking to a cubby and placing my belt inside. I took my time undressing and didn’t turn back towards her until I’d heard the splash of her slipping into the deep pool.
Relaxing while we sat in the warm water was impossible.
Her pale flesh seemed to attract every bit of light, her kethra adding to the glow that shone from her, making it hard not to look at the curves beneath the clear water.
Nudity had never been an issue before, mine or others, but I was coming to understand why Humans insisted on remaining covered around others.
It was a relief when she finally rose and began to climb over the side.
The soaking pools didn’t have a shallow entrance the way most of the river did, and her shortness made it difficult for her to step from one of the carved benches beneath the surface to the path beside the pools.
I had intended to let her manage on her own but found myself beside her, hands on her waist, before I could stop myself.
My fingers tightened and I clenched my teeth at the sound of her quick inhale. Stepping up onto the bench beside her, I lifted her from the water and forced my hands to let her go. Her quiet thanks didn’t help, and any tension the water may have relieved returned as we dressed.
The evening meal went no better. I answered more of Taryn’s questions about the varkuun but otherwise didn’t speak and resigned myself to another night without sleep as I watched her prepare the bed.
She was nesting.
She likely didn’t realize the significance of it, but each night she spent more time adjusting the pillows and blankets.
I took note whenever something no longer rated a place on the bed, sending it away and having Reyla replace it with new ones made of fabrics Taryn seemed to prefer.
I couldn’t tell if she was aware they were new, selected just for her, but the happy little hum she let out as she stroked a golden shavariin I’d had Reyla purchase that day had warmth spreading in my chest once more as my shaft tightened.
And made me turn away, guilt chasing away the sensation as fast as it came. Shaira had been my shael, and I’d lost her. Taryn could never be anything more than a political bond.
Taryn dropped into sleep almost as soon as she covered herself, breath evening out into a slow rhythm.
The sound became the constant I used to mark the passage of time as I held my tail and did everything I could to not think.
I played Drenn’karin in my head, pictured ground maneuvers and what-if situations, until the subtle shift in the air from the vents told me the darkest part of night had passed and dawn was on its way.
Taryn woke the moment I shifted to leave the bed, sleepy eyes blinking at me in the lavender glow from the vines behind her. The urge to crawl back into the bed and cover her with my body had me turning, but I caught myself.
“I have a council meeting prior to training today.”
It was the first thing to come to mind when I tried to find an excuse for waking her.
Pushing herself upright with one hand, she wiped her eyes with the other.
“Do I need to stay here until it’s over?”
The truth came out before I could swallow it.
“No, you can attend.”
I moved to find my korrvek before she could see the way I snarled at myself, but there was no reason to keep her from the meeting. Once we were bonded she would be forced to attend since any distance between us would cause discomfort, so she might as well.
The silence between us continued as we dressed and made our way to the Council Room.
Kael and Serenya were already there, along with Veyrad and Teylan.
Taryn followed me as I circled the table heading for my usual seat, and it wasn’t until I placed my hand on its back and stared down into it that I realized the problem with her attending.
There were no extra seats. Only the eight for the eight Morraki on the council, and while Rath was still patrolling the farthest sectors, Taryn couldn’t use his chair.
Which meant she’d have to sit on my lap, the way Serenya did with Kael.
“Taryn, it’s nice to see you again! How are you finding Morrakan?”
Serenya’s bright voice made me realize I’d paused for too long. Digging my claws into my scabbed palms, I forced my kethra to dim and took my seat as if everything was fine.
“It’s… warm. But I’m sure I’ll adjust.”
Serenya laughed at Taryn’s comment, saying something else, but I missed it when a spike of jealousy stabbed through me at the smile on Taryn’s lips.
The lips that I couldn’t stop feeling ghosting over mine every time I looked at her. Such a brief touch, that thing she called a kiss, and yet she’d nearly destroyed me with it.
I couldn’t stop my irritation over her smile falling away when she turned to me, question clear in her eyes. She stood beside my chair, chest rising and falling in an even pattern, but anxiety turned her scent bitter.