Chapter Thirty #2
Taryn slid from the boulder at my approach, gaze searching mine as if trying to read what I kept locked inside. I couldn’t help wondering how much she felt and if she could guess the reason behind the turmoil.
“Done?”
Dipping my head in a nod, I reached out and pulled her into my side. It had become habit, one I didn’t want to give up even when I didn’t have an excuse to tuck her against me.
“For now.”
Relief flooded into me, although she did her best to mute it when I raised a brow.
With each step towards the kennels her anticipation and excitement grew, and so did my unease.
I had come to trust her, to respect that she was the expert she claimed to be, but it was still hard to place my trust in an animal that I knew could crush her in a blink.
I found myself watching her as we made our way to Zharrek. Her posture changed when we entered the shadows within the kennels, her attention sharpened, and her emotions settled. This was where she belonged. Where she wanted to be, and where she felt most comfortable.
Amongst the most dangerous creatures on Morrakan.
I had to smile to myself when the thought struck that it made sense why she’d never been scared of me. If she didn’t fear a creature able to remove her head in a snap, what danger was I?
Dorash had Zharrek’s meat and blood ready at the end of his corridor, serum nestled between them, and the varku was already waiting. He always was, as if he could sense Taryn’s presence even before she neared.
He paced the bars, massive paws leaving a worn path in the sand, but the moment Taryn stepped into view, he stilled. His gaze locked onto her, the usual aggression dimming into interest.
If I hadn’t of known better, I’d have said he was happy to see her.
I slowed as she approached him, hanging back, every muscle in my body coiled and ready despite the growing evidence that he would not harm her. She stopped closer than usual to him, within reach of his barb if he wanted to whip around to use it, and my tail twitched as I suppressed a warning.
She respected my knowledge in my field, and I had to show her the same in return.
“Hey, Zharrek.”
Her voice was soft, meant only for the beast in front of her. He lowered his head, the rumble in his chest too quiet to call a growl.
I didn’t want to believe it, but it was getting harder to deny.
She had tamed him.
She’d gotten him to take another dose of medication for the rin’thyrhul the previous day, and while it wasn’t working as well as if he’d gotten the dose directly, even I could see his improvement.
His breathing was deeper, the coughs less frequent, and I didn’t spot any new clumps of mucus in the sand of his enclosure.
“You sound better today. You’d feel even better if you were a good boy and could take the medicine the way you’re supposed to.”
While I’d been looking around, she’d moved closer to him. She was barely outside the reach of his claws, and my heart stumbled at the thought of her ripped open by the jagged black lengths.
A soothing warmth flowed through our bond even though she kept her focus on Zharrek. Distraction was dangerous, deadly, yet somehow she still felt the need to comfort me while confronting the varku.
I exhaled, trying to force the tension from my body as I prayed to Shaevrin. I hadn’t said a prayer since Sharia had been taken from me, but I was willing to beg the Eternal Winds if it could keep Taryn safe.
“I have your dinner and your medicine, but it will work better if you let me give it to you.”
Zharrek’s head tipped as my heart stumbled again. I almost commanded her to come back, to leave forever and forget the beast, but I bit my tongue to keep it locked inside.
The taste of blood filled my mouth as she glanced my way, the question written on her face as it brushed along the bond. I knew what she wanted, knew she was willful enough to do it if she thought it was necessary, no matter how I felt, but she was asking anyway.
Not for permission, but for my acceptance.
My claws dug into my palms, the world beginning to pulse at the edges since I couldn’t breathe. I swallowed twice, trying to calm the pace of my heart as I did the only thing I could.
I nodded.
And begged Shaevrin for mercy.
Taryn took a step closer to the bars, and then another. She reached out, moving slow enough for him to see what she was doing and pull away if he wanted, but he remained where he was.
I was tempted to pray for him to flinch from her, but I knew how it would break her spirit. She believed she could do this, and as worried as I was, I wanted her to be right.
I watched as her hand passed between the bars, and then her fingers brushed the edge of his jaw, cautious but steady. Zharrek didn’t move, his focus locked on her the way hers was on him.
I dragged in a breath that held equal parts hope and fear. I wanted this to work, to go well for her, but it felt wrong to let her stand so close to him, so near those vicious teeth.
She pulled her hand back and eased away from the bars before turning to face me, excitement in her eyes and a smile curving her lips. She was so happy, so alive, that for a moment I dared to think she might one day have that expression for me. That perhaps this wasn’t destined to end in pain.
The idea was dangerous. I should have crushed it immediately, but instead, I found myself considering it.
We could both have what we wanted. If Zharrek continued to respond to her and the bond stabilized further, allowing us to be apart, she might not need me with her. She would be able to come here during my meetings and while I trained with the warriors, and then we could spend our evenings together.
The idea would have been unthinkable if I hadn’t seen her with him myself, but if it kept her from feeling trapped, if it kept her happy…
My chest tightened.
After losing Shaira I had sworn never to bond. To spend my life alone, because I had been lucky enough to find the omega I wanted and then cursed to lose her. I had believed there would never be another who made me look toward the future with anticipation.
But Taryn was proving me wrong.
And if trusting a beast was what it took to keep her with me, I could learn to pretend I was okay with it.
I didn’t want an omega with a broken spirit. I didn’t want Taryn to spend half of her days miserable.
I allowed myself to imagine a future where she remained. Not just because we were bound together and she had no other choice, but because she wanted to. Because she found fulfillment here on Morrakan, with me.
Expecting her to gather his meal, or reach for the serum, I wasn’t prepared for her to throw her arms around my neck and kiss me.
My body reacted before my brain realized what was happening, squeezing her close as my tail looped around her leg.
I opened when her tongue touched my lips, sending mine to stroke along hers as I let her sense of accomplishment fill me.
It wasn’t going to be easy. Holding back wasn’t something I was familiar with, and I still viewed the varkuun as dangerous.
But I was going to try.
For her.
For us.