Chapter 15
Sera
My stomach churns as Morpheus leads me out of the bedroom, my thoughts mingling with his.
He suspects Hades has left again.
And I… I’m irritated by the prospect.
Because I’m tired of him leaving.
He would never have done that to Persephone. So why does he keep abandoning me?
It leaves me feeling inferior. Less important. Unwanted.
“Serapina,” Morpheus starts, his palm on my lower back as he moves to block my path down the hallway.
“I’m okay,” I tell him, aware that he can hear my inner monologue. “I just need to think… for a bit.”
Which is something I didn’t want to do five minutes ago.
I wanted him to knot me again instead.
To lose my mind to the euphoria inspired by his thrusts and reside in a sea of orgasmic bliss.
Alas, my stomach is grumbling again, and I really can’t remember the last time I ate or properly slept.
How much sex have I had today? I wonder, my brow furrowing. Why do I feel so… needy?
Morpheus frowns down at me, and I shake my head to clear it. “Really, I’m fine,” I try again. “Just a little… confused?” Yeah, that’s not the right term at all. Or maybe it is. I—
“Confused about what?” a deep voice asks, one I was not expecting to hear.
I look around Morpheus to find Hades waiting at the end of the hallway with his hands tucked into the pockets of his black slacks. His button-down shirt is undone at the neck, and his sleeves are rolled to the elbows, too, giving him a more casual appearance than usual.
One that’s enhanced by him not wearing any shoes.
He was dressed like this in the bathroom as well. Yet somehow I’m more aware of it now. I blink, almost certain he’s an illusion.
But he’s still standing there when I open my eyes again.
Only, he’s frowning now. “Are you all right, Serapina?”
“You’re here,” I whisper.
His brow furrows even more. “Am I not meant to be here?”
“No,” I say slowly, which has him flinching. I shake my head and move around Morpheus toward Hades. “No, no, I mean, you’re supposed to be here. I just…” I narrow my gaze at him. “When you misted out of the bathroom, I assumed you left again. And I’m really tired of you doing that.”
The words just sort of leave me in a rush, my annoyance piquing again.
“You would never have done that to Persephone,” I go on, then slap a hand over my mouth. Because I really need to stop talking now. “Sorry,” I mumble.
Only, my brow pulls down again when I realize I’m not the one who should be apologizing.
Dropping my hand, I say, “Actually, no, I’m not sorry. You keep leaving. If you don’t want to be here, that’s fine. Just admit it. Otherwise, stop abandoning me.”
Great. Now I sound like a pouty female.
“That’s not what I meant,” I rush to add. “I…” I clamp my jaw shut. Because I don’t really know what I’m trying to say, only that I’m exhausted by his hot and cold presence. And having Persephone’s memories doesn’t help in this situation.
All the recollections from her point of view showcase a doting Alpha, one who gave her everything she desired and loved her beyond reason.
I’ll probably never see that side of Hades, which… which hurts.
But I have to accept who he is, just as he has to accept the reincarnation of his mate’s soul.
I close my eyes and shake my head. “Okay, ignore me,” I mutter. “I’m not feeling like myself right now.” Which isn’t entirely true. And yet not a lie, either.
I’ve been on a journey of self-discovery since arriving in the Netherworld Kingdom. So I’m not even sure I know who I am at all.
“I could never ignore you, Serapina,” Hades tells me softly, his wintry scent surrounding me.
When I open my eyes again, I realize he’s standing less than a foot from me.
“And I’m sorry for leaving,” he adds. “You’re right. I need to be near you, and not just because of your potential heat, but because the only way to solve Demeter’s puzzle is if we work together.”
I nearly wince at his response.
He’s not saying he wants to be near me because he likes me, but because it’s practical.
That shouldn’t hurt.
But it does.
Because I’m feeling foolishly sensitive, I think. Then I look at Maliki and remember he can hear me.
Just like Morpheus can, too.
No commentary from either of you, I mentally say to both of them. This is between me and Hades.
Morpheus steps into my side and presses a kiss to my neck. “I wouldn’t dream of helping him clean up his mess, little dreamer,” he says, then winks at Hades. “Good luck.”
Hades frowns at him. “Good luck with what?”
Morpheus merely shrugs, then goes to join Maliki by the dining table. “You made enough to feed an army,” he murmurs. “Good. I’m famished. And I know our mate is, too.”
“Can’t imagine why,” Maliki drawls.
“Oh, I’m sure you could, actually,” Morpheus muses. “Quite well, too.”
Maliki replies with something I don’t hear because Hades is suddenly in my space, and all I can focus on is his broad chest and soft purr coming from beneath his black dress shirt.
It’s a familiar sound, one he’s emitted in my presence before.
But it also evokes a slew of memories that don’t actually belong to me.
Which is mystifying and a tad misleading. Because I’m instantly calmed, like my body is trained to respond to his enchanting rumble.
“You can’t magic your way out of this,” I mumble, already leaning toward him.
“I’m not trying to magic my way out of anything, darling,” he says, his palm wrapping around my nape as he pulls me into him. “I simply want to hold you for a moment.”
“Why?” I ask as I nuzzle into his chest, needing more of his purr and his scent.
“Because I need you to know that I respect your choices, Serapina.” The words are a breath against my ear. “And now that I realize space isn’t what you desire from me, I’m going to give you closeness instead.”
“Why would I want space?” I wonder out loud. “All I want is to know you.” Like Persephone did, I almost add. But I manage to swallow that part of my desire.
“I haven’t been a good enough Alpha for you,” he replies. “So I’ve been trying to find a way to fix things, only you’ve made me realize I’ve worsened your faith in me by leaving. I never meant to abandon you, Serapina. I was trying to find ways to prove my worth through actions rather than words.”
His thumb strokes the column of my neck, stirring a tingling sensation inside me that seems to travel down my spine. Or maybe it’s his purr that’s making me feel this way.
Regardless, I like it.
“As for me never leaving Persephone, it’s not because I valued her in a different way to you. It’s because I was never given the opportunity. She always left me. Not the other way around.”
My lips curl downward as I consider his words, my mind rifling through dozens of memories at once to determine the veracity of his claim.
And I realize quickly that he’s right. “She left you every few months.” The truth leaves me quietly as I try to process why she chose to be away from him. “To visit Demeter,” I recall aloud. “Her mother required her to visit for six months a year.”
My frown deepens.
Persephone was essentially treated like property. Particularly by her mother.
“Demeter said it was to ensure her daughter received enough life to counter my deadly influence,” Hades tells me. “I hated it but agreed to do what was best for Persephone.”
“I’m not sure it was best for her,” I reply as I continue processing her memories. “Demeter was… not a good influence.” I’m not sure how else to define her presence. “She cared about Persephone, but she hurt her, too.”
However, it seems as though Demeter’s actions were grounded in a need to protect Persephone. Which makes sense with everything I’ve learned about the infamous Alpha.
“Persephone never confided anything to me about her mother,” Hades says, his voice thick with emotion. “But that wasn’t our relationship. She never spoke about anything uncomfortable, always choosing to follow my lead and submit to the Alphas in her life.”
I nod because I can feel that history in Persephone’s essence. “She reminds me of who I used to be in the Nightingale Village,” I admit in a whisper. “I followed all the rules and did what I was told. Very unlike Alina.”
But it was her influence that helped me choose to become Sera.
That, coupled with everything I went through in Demeter’s Gardens. Not having memories of her manipulation or what I even did there made me realize that I didn’t want to be a mindless puppet. I wanted to live.
I share some of that self-discovery out loud, mostly talking to myself rather than to Hades.
But he reminds me of his presence by moving his hand away from my nape and cupping my jaw. “That’s what makes this new and refreshing,” he informs me. “You tell me what you need. You’re not afraid to challenge me, either. And I find that enthralling, Serapina.”
His lips brush mine.
“I’m sorry for leaving you when I should have stayed. It won’t happen again, okay?”
I shudder, his words seeming to seep into me to stir warmth from deep within. “Okay. Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me for doing what’s right,” he replies. “But thank you for voicing your feelings. Please don’t ever stop.” He kisses me again, this time with a little more pressure, then lifts me into the air to carry me to the table.
I don’t fully understand his intent until he sits down with me in his lap.
My eyes widen at finding both Maliki and Morpheus already seated, their gazes fixed on Hades.
“That was actually not bad,” Maliki says. “Good job, my lord.”
Hades grunts. “Fuck off, subordinate.”
“Subordinate?” Maliki repeats, then barks out a laugh. “Touché, my lord. Touché.”
Hades ignores him, instead reaching around me to start fixing a plate of food from the dishes spread out on the table. I blink, confused by… well, everything.
But mostly by Hades choosing to hold me like this at the table. Particularly as there is a perfectly good chair right beside us.
Nibbling my lip, I try to casually slide off of him.