Chapter 16
Chapter
Sixteen
LENNOX
Fuck. Groaning with my eyes closed, I ask if I really ended up being stupid enough to open that bottle of whiskey tonight. I like to have it ready because the color is pretty while I think about how much my life fucking sucks.
…How lonely it is, and how little meaning it has. I don’t intend to actually open it because too much alcohol leads to worse decisions than my fucked up brain is capable of on its own.
Why can’t I open my mouth? Ugh, why… The fuck is wrong with my arms? My head feels fuzzy and nothing is working right.
My eyes pop open and my stomach rolls unhappily as my head begins to pound. Everything seems to click in slow motion until I realize what’s happening.
Fuck me. Only I would manage to get kidnapped while spiraling out. Don’t I get to be gloomy, cranky, and a general asshole too? I’m not hurting anyone but myself.
My growl fills the back of the van, yet there’s no one to intimidate here.
Raising my head, I see Rufus is strapped into the passenger seat.
He’s sleeping as if he’s at home in my van, without a care in the world.
Except, this isn’t my damn vehicle. My dog doesn’t go anywhere unless I introduce him to someone first, which means he must know this person.
Thunking my head back on the floor, I force myself to inhale deeply. I know where I am, I simply don’t want to accept it.
Fuck. The van smells like dessert. I’d be happier if it was more like sweaty feet, but it isn’t.
Rich salted caramel pecans tent my loose linen pants in the most inappropriate way, and I’m forced to accept that I’m in timeout.
Lifting my legs, I slam my feet down on the floor for attention.
If I’m treated like a grumpy toddler, then I’ll play the part.
The van isn’t currently moving, but my head hurts too much to sit up to look out the windows. What the fuck did Baron give me?
It’s dark inside the van which helps my brain from further splitting apart, and I moan as the driver seat door opens. There’s a slight creek to it I know I could fix if I wasn’t so annoyed at him right now.
“You done making the van bounce around? It’s been shaking the entire time I filled up the tank.”
No it wasn’t. I’m supposed to be the dramatic one. There’s not room for two of us in this van.
I remain silent because there’s a gag in my mouth and I refuse to attempt to speak around it. I have standards, despite my theatrical disposition. Instead, I shut my eyes again and wait for him to tell me why I’m in the back of his van like a soon to be murder victim.
He doesn’t act as though he’s a complete psychopath. If he is, then at least I get to go out under a hot alpha’s knife. My mood hasn’t improved at all, I simply have a headache and sore shoulders to add to the medley of ailments afflicting me.
“Lennox?” Baron shifts in his seat, and I listen as he slams the door shut. If I wasn’t already awake, that move definitely would have accomplished it. “Come on, man. I didn’t even give you that much chloroform.”
Slitting my eyes, I glare at him as he twists to look at me.
“Oh, yeah. Hold on.”
Climbing into the back, he unties the bandana holding the gag in my mouth and I manage to spit it into his lap.
“Feel better, now?”
“No. If you’re going to cut me up into little pieces, all I ask is that you don’t feed me to Rufus,” I grumble.
His snort pulls a little howl from my dog, and I ask myself if I’m in hell. I fucking have to be.
“You’re a mess. They always say it’s the strongest ones. Promise not to run away, and I’ll finish untying you.”
“You have my dog, I’m not going anywhere. I may puke if I can’t get upright soon. That’ll fucking suck for you. I’ll haunt your ass if I choke and die on it.”
“Damn, that means I’ll be stuck with you forever and my plan went belly up. Literally.”
“Hardee har har.”
Asshole.
Baron helps me sit up and scoots back to lean against the side of the van. This is set up very differently than mine. It’s barebones with boxes in a corner and compartments built into one side. There’s a rolled up sleeping bag next to me, and that’s about it.
“I have pain meds for your head if you’re a good boy and talk to me.”
“I’m no one’s ‘good boy’. Look, why are you going to all of this trouble? I vaguely remember you giving me some bullshit about being part of a pack who doesn’t want me. I had a perfectly nice hotel room to be depressed in. My back hurts now and the view fucking sucks.”
“You… How did this happen?” Baron opens his hands in confusion and I sigh heavily as I close my eyes again. “Don’t fucking hide. You’re usually this happy fucking Viking, content to get into everyone’s business and force people to pay attention to you.”
“That gets old fast when no one reciprocates the energy. Sometimes, I just get sad, okay? It usually cycles out in a week. I hole up somewhere for most of it and sulk. If I’m really lucky, I ask myself if drowning would hurt or not. I never do shit about it because Rufus would starve without me.”
“Starve…The little shit bit me before he let me feed him a treat. I had to explain that I was bringing you to see Arlo and Cali. I’ve never spoken so much to a dog before. He’s your pocket sized gremlin.”
“Yeah, well, Rufus is an acquired taste. It’s why I’m careful about who sits with him during performances. He really likes to be worn.”
“Worn…how?” Baron sounds completely aghast, and my lips twitch in amusement, despite my headache. I can usually rally pretty quickly without pain meds because of my ability to burn through pain.
People think I’m insane for my high tolerance for pain, but I’ve always been like this. Rarely cried as a kid either. It’s just how I am. I don’t like to inconvenience people, which is why I fuck off when I feel an episode like this coming on.
“Baby wearing. The sling is in my van. Why am I here, Baron?” I’m biting out my words. There’s a bubble of rage and sadness growing in my gut, and I don’t think I’m going to be able to stop it from exploding inside of me.
Shit. No one needs to see this. My existence is carefully crafted, and the veneer is cracking fast.
“You stopped calling.”
“You didn’t like it, and it seemed counterproductive,” I reply, forcing my breathing to remain even. There’s an uncomfortable heat behind my eyes and I refuse to get weepy with a stranger.
“I suck at talking on the phone.”
“You suck in general.”
“Seriously? That’s your comeback?”
“I’m a little off my game. If you let me out, I’ll call a cab to take me back to my hotel room and return to my sulking.”
“We’re an hour away from Malibu. That’ll be an expensive trip, Lenny.”
“It’s Lennox to you.” I’m feeling particularly anxious, and I don’t want to be friendly with Baron. It’s too fucking late for all that.
“Throw me a fucking bone, would you?”
“Do you deserve it? Any of you?” I ask. “Honestly. Arlo has my number and hasn’t once called me. Ves is tied up in knots with a serial killer, and no one cares enough to murder me to piss him off. My existence does that enough when it comes to Ves, which is obvious to anyone looking. I’m done.”
Fuck, this asshole isn’t going to untie me, is he? Opening my eyes, I begin stretching my neck from side to side and rotating my shoulders. I once dislocated my joints for a performance, and ever since that, I found out how flexible I can actually be.
“You can’t be done. I thought you were sulking, but you’re legitimately drowning in sadness. I’m trying to understand. What are you doing? Lenny, wait!”
Baron’s alpha bark rolls right off me like water as I yank my arms forward, nearly blacking out when the pain from rotating them until my wrists are in front of me is too much.
“Hush. That shit doesn’t work on me. I’m a bigger dick than you are, Baron. Get used to it.” I examine the material around my wrists, frowning as I stare at it. “Huh. Duct tape is an interesting choice. That’s gonna hurt like a bitch coming off.”
Baron’s jaw is almost unhinged as I lift my wrists to my teeth and begin looking for a tear to pull from.
“I’m not mentally stable. You really should know who you’re dealing with before pushing them, Baron.”
“Your file doesn’t say fuck all about this,” he mumbles.
“Cute. I can tell just by looking at you that you have anger issues. I hide my crazy better than most.”
I’m not surprised he’s looking into me. I’ve never been hospitalized for my mental health before, which means there isn’t a paper trail to be found.
“My PI will flip out if he can’t find me at my hotel. I haven’t paid him yet, and that’s pretty decent motivation to track someone down,” I add.
“I didn’t think very far ahead before this. I did my version of panicking. Don’t fall off the face of the earth again and we won’t have more problems. Better yet, I’m going to Velcro you to my ass.”
“Ah, did you hit your head?” I ask. “You…don’t…like…me. Maybe if I say it enough, you’ll reboot or something.”
Baron chuckles and it’s almost scary. God, maybe I fell into a rip in the matrix. Something isn’t right with him.
“You have until I get this tape off to explain yourself and then I’ll hitchhike back to Malibu with my dog. I’m out of patience and liable to hurt your feelings when I’m in this kind of mood. Don’t bring me anywhere near Arlo or Ves.”
“You keep talking about hurting yourself and that hurts me,” he growls. “I was going to tell you you’re being a huge baby and that it takes work to gain the trust of people, but—”
“What fucking trust?!” I scream, a tear escaping in my anger.
Dammit. “How does that work if I’m treated like a pariah?
For fuck’s sake, my own performance troupe is nicer to me than you are.
I was all in from the jump, while you both pouted because you didn’t want to fucking share.
Now you’re digging through crime scenes together and playing some form of happy fucked up family.
I don’t want to do this anymore, Baron. I want to leave. ”
Sucking in a breath that’s dangerously close to a sob, I tear off the first layer of duct tape, cursing a blue streak when I find there’s more. Hands cover mine pulling my wrists away from teeth and I snarl at Baron.
“Just…wait. You’ve been watching us while you disappeared.
That tells me you haven’t stopped caring, but that you feel way too fucking much.
I’m not great with people, Lenny. I get impatient and impulsive, and typically say the wrong thing.
It’s why I say so little. However, I got really worried when you disappeared.
I can share, it just took time for that concept to sink in. ”
Baron’s thumb catches the errant liquid shit traveling down my cheek and sucks it off in a way that shouldn’t be as hot as it is. I’m both turned on and sad. What a combination.
“I’ll get someone to get your van and pack up your shit in the hotel room. However, you’re not going back there. I think you need a healthy dose of an adorable six year old and hours of Bluey to make you feel better.”
“Are you trying to torture me?” I ask, aghast. “I told you not to bring me near them. I don’t trust myself, Baron.”
“Yeah, well, I do,” he says, pulling out a bottle and showing me the label. It’s acetaminophen.
“I don’t need it.” I’m being stubborn. The pain in my head is a low throb by this point. I’ll survive.
“It’s almost as if we’ve been body snatched, but you’re a lot more foul than I am right now. Take the fucking pills, Lenny.”
“It’s Lennox.”
Baron shakes out two pills and I roll my eyes. I open my mouth to allow him to drop them in, maintaining eye contact as I swallow the pills dry.
“That should not be as hot as it looked,” he mutters.
Pinching my chin, he slams his lips against mine, his teeth scraping and nipping until I open my mouth. Our kiss deepens as our tongues go to war with each other, and it may be the single hottest thing I’ve ever experienced.
Baron drags his nose along mine as he breathes in my scent, his gaze intense.
“Drink your goddamned water.”
Squishing my lips together, he shoves the top of a refillable water bottle into the opening and squirts it in. I half inhale it as he forces me to swallow, and he continues to push the liquid into my mouth until he’s satisfied.
“For the record, drowning would suck,” he grunts, crawling back into the driver seat before he mumbles to himself, “I should know.”
“I wasn’t gonna do it,” I cough out.
“Well, you’re definitely not now. Get ready to be surrounded by all the people you’ve been wanting to see.”
I fall over and roll as Baron accelerates hard, but he ignores me as he blasts his emo music. Closing my eyes in defiance, I will myself to sleep. He can do whatever he wants, as long as Rufus doesn't take umbrage to it.
It looks like I need to figure out how I’m going to fucking people when I feel like doing anything but that.