Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Seth
February
W hat the actual fuck had I done?
I needed to talk to Bennett.
Because there was never a time when you needed your best friend more than when you were sitting on the cold tiles of your bathroom floor, clutching a positive pregnancy test in your hand, after puking your guts up the last week and a half.
It seemed like some kind of cosmic bullshit to be staring at a positive sign, when I could barely even remember the night that had caused it.
Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies , my cougar garbled, making me cringe at their off-key rendition of a classic song.
“Please don’t butcher good ‘80’s songs,” I snarked, “I’m nauseous enough.”
He wasn’t wrong though; I was completely and totally lying to myself. I remembered plenty from the night that had caused this. Way too much alcohol. Bratty behavior trying to get the sexy alpha’s attention. Gorgeous flowing locks of dark brown hair, sensual brown eyes, and possessive growls. Whispered words against my skin spoken in Spanish.
Bits and pieces of that night had started to come back to me, things I had forgotten, over the last several weeks. There would also be flashes, at the oddest times of my day, when I wasn’t even thinking about him at all.
Clothing hitting the floor. Hands desperate to touch heated skin. Toe curling rimming. And the sparks between us when we touched. That had been new and interesting.
Of all the times my birth control had to fail, of course it would be the one time I didn’t even know the alpha’s name.
Because you didn’t want to , my cat reminded me, not at all being helpful. Like always, you didn’t want to get too close.
Leaning my head back against the cool wall, I banged my palm flat on the floor. “Fuck!”
Dialing my phone, I waited for my bestie to pick up. It was early on a Saturday morning, but I knew Bennett would be up. Baby Brodie and his seven-year-old soon-to-be step-son, Lucas, were early risers. Neither of them had grasped the concept of sleeping in yet.
“Why are you calling me so early,” Bennett asked in lieu of saying hello. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? If you’re okay, I’m going back to bed, because new baby. And it’s Valentine’s Day and Shay and I have plans later I would really like to stay awake for. It’s been six weeks since we had Brodie and papa needs to get some.”
I had completely forgotten it was Valentine’s today, probably because I never had a Valentine. Didn’t mean I didn’t wish every year for an alpha to show up with roses and chocolates.
Staring down at the test in my hand, I wrinkled my nose. This was not anything I had ever wished for on Cupid’s holiday.
“Can you come over?” I sighed, rubbing my temples. “I did something.”
“Are you okay?” he repeated, sounding a little more awake and slightly concerned.
“Nope, not okay. So, so not okay.” My voice rose an octave with each word, and I could hear the hysteria I was trying to hold off.
“Are you hurt or in jail?” Rustling sounded, and I could picture him sitting up in bed. I felt bad about waking him up, knowing Brodie got up every couple of hours for a feeding. But desperate times called for all hands on deck. And there had never been a more desperate time in my life.
“I’m not hurt and I’m not in jail,” I assured him, then swiped at a tear that slid down my cheek. Crying was so not me! This had to be stupid pregnancy hormones. Bennett had cried all the time when he’d been pregnant. Of course, he and his alpha needed to be apart for the beginning of his pregnancy, for reasons. It was a whole thing, involving a not-so-nice ex, and I was glad they could finally be together.
“Am I bringing coffee, wine, or chocolate?” I loved that Bennett was always so calm, while I was usually the exact opposite and brought the drama. He was the ying to my yang. The nice to my bratty side. The only time he had even hinted at losing it had been when he was in labor last month.
Snorting, I reminded him, “It’s like seven in the morning.”
“And I have two small children, what’s your point? I barely know what time of day it is anymore. I can’t even guarantee the last time I showered. Honestly, though, if you start clutching your pearls about day drinking, I’m sending the police. Obviously, you’re being held against your will and that is your cry for help.”
Because just hearing his voice somehow made me think everything was going to be okay, I laughed, but then it turned into sort of a laugh-hiccup-sob. “Maybe a hot chocolate.”
“You don’t want a large coffee?” Through the phone I heard the sounds of him getting ready to leave. The jangle of his keys. Softly telling Shay, his mate, that there was a situation, and I needed him. That made me smile remembering me fiercely telling Shay that Bennett and I were a package deal. Shay and I hadn’t gotten off on the best foot–mostly my fault–but we were both slowly growing on the other.
“Seth?” Bennett’s concerned voice made me think he’d called my name more than once. “You’re starting to really worry me.”
“I’m pregnant.” Somehow whispering the words out loud made it realer than the pee stick I was still clutching tightly in my fist.
Silence met my admission, before Bennett calmly declared, “Wine and chocolate, it is.”
Hysterical laughter escaped me, along with some smidge of relief. “Did you hear what I said?”
“The wine is for me. I’ll pump and dump. It’s fine. I have plenty of milk in the fridge for Brodie. The chocolate’s for you,” he said with purpose. “Oh, who am I kidding, I’m having the chocolate too. Fuck this baby weight. I’m on my way.”
Twenty minutes later, Bennett was sliding down next to me on my bathroom floor, because I hadn’t moved one inch since our call had ended. Just stared blankly at the test I was holding, like the big PREGNANT showing in the little window was going to magically disappear if I wished hard enough.
Bennett pried the test from my fingers and wrapped them around a warm cup of fragrant chocolaty goodness. The logo from our favorite bakery/coffee shop, The Sweet Spot, had me sniffing it appreciatively. No one made better hot chocolate than Quinn Sinclair.
Glancing at the test, Bennett tossed it in the trash with a loud thunk. “Drink that. You’re pale as a fucking ghost.”
Taking a small sip, I hummed happily when the chocolate hit my tongue. Hopefully it would stay down, because everything was hit or miss lately.
“So,” Bennett wrapped his arms around his drawn-up knees, and rested his tired face against them, “not the flu then.”
Shaking my head, I blinked rapidly at the prickly heat blooming behind my eyes.
Reaching over, he gave me an awkward side hug, squeezing gently. “It’s going to be okay, Sethy.”
Sitting the cup down next to me, I side-eyed him. “I don’t want kids. Babies are just–” I shuddered. “I mean, your kids are okay, obvs. But other kids are just a hard pass. You know how I feel about the ones I have to keep.”
He rolled his eyes, shaking his head slightly.
Holding up a hand, I muttered, “And I know what you are going to say. Seth, you’re a pediatric nurse, how can you not like kids? I like them fine. Because I can give them back to their parents. But having one of my own? OMG, Benny, I’m barely responsible for myself! I can’t even keep a houseplant alive. How the fuck am I going to keep an entire human alive!” The hysteria was back in my voice, rising higher with each word.
Bennett ripped the wrapper off a Twix bar and handed me half of it. My stomach gave a negative heave, and I shook my head. “I think the hot chocolate might be my sugar limit.”
Bennett wince sympathetically, then munched on the candy bar, closing his eyes in bliss. “Oh, that’s good.”
“No wine?” Because I didn’t see a bottle anywhere, and he had a cup from The Sweet Spot of his own.
He shrugged, “Shay was giving me a panicked look, and I assured him I had only been kidding about the day drinking. Besides I’m driving, so I would never.”
Nodding, I knew he wouldn’t. Shay’s ex had been a bastard of an omega, an abusive alcoholic. He had ultimately lost his life in a drinking and driving accident just a few months ago. Shay still had a shit ton of trauma to work through, but he and Bennett were working through it all, together.
“So,” Bennett hedged, after sucking his fingers clean of a bit of melted chocolate, “you’re not keeping the baby then?”
“What? Of course, I’m keeping it!” I cried, my tone conveying my outrage at his very sensible, logical suggestion.
Okay, where the fuck had that come from?
I hadn’t really had time to think about what I wanted to do yet, but in that split second, I knew I was keeping the baby. My hand traveled to lay across my still flat stomach, resting there lightly. Correction, I was keeping my baby, not the baby.
Bennett smiled knowingly, reaching out and taking my free hand and giving it a light squeeze. “You know you aren’t alone in this, right? You have me and Shay, Asher and Gabe. The Musketeers, and your family. They love you, Seth, they will support you in this. We all will.”
He named off my boss and his mate, along with our group of close omega friends in our chat group dubbed The Musketeers. And yeah, my family was wonderful, I had to admit. My whole middle child syndrome thing I had going on was all on me, and not really anything my parents or siblings had done.
But I’d had five years of being the baby before my younger sister, Gilly, had come along. And even though I loved her dearly, I was still a bit salty about having my throne usurped. I knew my family would support me, though I’d probably see some disappointment in my mom and dad’s eyes. But only for the fact that I wasn’t mated, like my siblings, before I popped out a grandbaby for them to love on. My parent’s excelled at being doting grandparents and I knew they would absolutely adore my child.
“And the alpha dad?” Bennett hedged carefully, “Do you think he’ll want to be involved?”
Rubbing at the slight headache I had, probably due to all the throwing up I’d been doing and the fact that I knew I was slightly dehydrated, I grimaced. “About that.”
“If he’s a dickwad, he doesn’t need to be involved,” Bennett assured me. “But I know how you felt when I didn’t tell Shay I was pregnant right away. I know you, Seth, you’ll want to tell this guy. But that doesn’t mean he needs to be involved if he doesn’t want to. We’ve got this.”
“It’s not that.” Picking up my cup, I took a sip to have something to occupy myself. “I…” Blowing out a long breath, I looked at the pattern of the tiled floor, feeling slightly ashamed. I rarely, if ever, felt ashamed about anything I did, but I had never imagined I would be in the predicament I found myself in.
Sure, I had a lot of fun as a single omega, not ready to make any commitments to a mate. Settling down with an alpha had never really appealed to me, honestly. I liked having my own career, coming and going as I pleased, and doing things on my own terms. If I wanted to get laid, I went out and did it, no strings attached. The alphas never needed to worry about anything beyond one night with me.
And I was always, always careful to keep up with my birth control. Yeah, usually I had a wrap it up or get the fuck out policy for the alphas, but I was pretty sure I remembered this alpha and me skipping over that part. Yeah, I definitely remembered we had. Even if I hadn’t remembered, the fact that I had dried cum on me the next morning, and it was still dripping out of me, was a clear sign.
“I have no idea who he is,” I admitted, feeling my cheeks heat. “No name. No way to contact him. It’s the guy I hooked up with on New Year’s. The guy I was with at the hotel when you went into labor.”
Bennett just nodded, and there was no censor in his green eyes, but he did have his thinking face on. “Maybe Jamie can find him. Or Becks?”
Jamie Sinclair used to work for the government, as did Sweet Alps’ current sheriff, Grayson Beckett. Both men were also mates of good friends of ours. “I feel like they can find anyone. They have tons of resources.”
“Maybe,” I hedged, though I wasn’t too hopeful. It wasn’t like I had a lot of information for them to go off of. What did I say? He was a really hot Latino, with a great cock and he was fantastic in bed. From what I could remember. Because I’d been slightly more than tipsy and might have gone into a weird, early, shortened heat? That might have melted my brain for a bit? Possibly, from what I could remember. Yeah, I didn’t think that was enough for them to find the guy.
“Wait! I have this!” Grabbing my discarded cell phone, I quickly thumbed through my pictures. After a minute of frustrated scrolling, I muttered, “Goddess, I take a lot of pictures of your kids!”
Bennett shrugged, unapologetic, “I have cute kids.”
“Facts.” Shoving my phone in his face, I exclaimed, “I found this on my phone when I was looking through all the pictures I took of Brodie in the hospital, after you had him. I don’t even remember taking this picture.” At Bennett’s raised eyebrows, I scowled, “What? It was New Year’s Eve. I drank a lot, okay?”
Bennett grabbed my arm, taking my phone and holding it away from his face so he could focus on the picture I had found the day after I had left him sleeping in the hotel room. Okay, in my defense, I had left a note. Not much of one, but it had to count for something, right? Right. It totally counted.
The picture was of the two of us, looking rumpled and mussed in bed, both of us smiling like idiots. It showed us from the waist up, both our naked chests visible. My head rested in the crook of the arm he had wrapped around me, while he took the picture with his other arm. A memory niggled at my brain each time I looked at the picture–which was more times than I wanted to admit–of me laughing and telling him his arms were longer, and he should take it.
Bennett’s brow furrowed, and he used his thumb and finger to expand the picture, focusing on the alpha’s face, his long hair tousled, his lips curved into a wide, happy grin. Then my bestie started laughing, startling me. I didn’t like the fissure of anger that shot through me, thinking my bestie was laughing at my…my…
Mate , my cougar supplied in his not at all helpful way, and I gulped.
It wasn’t the first time my cougar had insisted the man was our mate. Could he really be my mate? As much as I didn’t want to believe it, I couldn’t deny the undeniable attraction I felt for him. The pull. The electricity that raced across my skin when he touched me. The way he had smelled, the rich musky scent enough that it had started my slick gushing.
I had brushed it all aside, coming up with plausible excuses for it all. But the heat that had turned my blood to fire, that had muddled my thoughts, my insatiable need to be filled by him…to be knotted by him…it had felt like I was in heat. I had brushed the vague thought aside when it had flittered across my buzzed brain, knowing my heat wasn’t due for months and months. But…could he–we–really be fated mates, like my cat kept insisting?
“Seth!” Bennett jerked me out of my thoughts, as he tried to grab my phone back because I had yanked it from his hands. But I stubbornly held it above my head, out of his reach. I wasn’t tall by any stretch of the imagination, but Bennett was even shorter than I was. Sitting on the cold floor, it was well and truly too high for him to take back and laugh more at the only picture I had of my nameless alpha.
“What?” I snapped, because…because…Goddess, was this what Bennett had felt the times I had been shitty to Shay, when I thought he was causing my friend emotional pain? Wow, I needed to think more about how my actions affected others.
Bennett gave me a wide-eyed look, “I know who that is! In the picture!”
“Wait, what?” Bringing the phone down, I stared at the picture on the screen. The picture that still caused butterflies to take flight in the pit of my stomach each time I looked at it. Which wasn’t that often. Really, it wasn’t. I looked at it a normal number of times. Absolutely normal.
“That’s Alex,” Bennett told me quietly, “the lawyer that helps out with the pro bono cases for abused omegas. The one I told you about when I still worked at the hospital. The one I recommended Shay to when he first got to town. I can’t believe you went all the way to Hollow Ridge and hooked up with Alex Ortega.”
Bennett had worked at the hospital here in town for years, in an administrative role, until he had decided to take a job working for my boss, Asher. He was due to start in two weeks, after his paternity leave was up. It was how we had met, actually. I had been working at the hospital at the time, fresh out of nursing school.
“Alex Ortega?” I repeated the name slowly, seeing how it felt on my tongue. “Shay’s lawyer?”
Alex.
I liked it. It was a strong name. And sexy.
Just like him , my cat chuffed.
“Are you just going to repeat everything I say?” Bennett asked, unwrapping another candy bar, swinging the chocolate covered bar at me when I gave him a look. “Don’t judge me. I haven’t had breakfast and I’m starving. Producing enough milk for Brodie takes a shit ton of fuel. Breastfeeding is hard work!”
“His real name is Alejandro, but he goes by Alex,” Bennett kept talking before I could respond, chewing his cookie and caramel bar at the same time, moaning in joy as he swallowed. “Alex lives here in Sweet Alps. Seth, he’s like the nicest guy. If you’re going to get knocked up by a total stranger, you could definitely do worse than Alex. I mean, not that you want a mate or anything, but…”
Nibbling on my lip, I stared at the picture, like I didn’t have it memorized already. But now I knew his name. And I knew what he did for a living. And where he lived. What were the odds that we both lived in Sweet Alps, having met in a completely different town?
Fate , my cougar yawned, already bored with my drama. Asshole cat.
“Bennett, can I ask you something?”
He nodded, “You know you can.”
“How did you know you and Shay were mates?” Maybe what I was really asking was how had they known they were fated.
“You know we’re more than just mates, Seth,” Bennett sat back next to me, scooting his butt on the floor until his back rested against the vanity. “You know we’re fated. Is that what you want to know?”
Nodding, because I couldn’t say the words out loud, was all I could do. I had never put much stock in the fated mates folklore. Until a bunch of people around me started finding their fated mates. Until Bennett had found his.
“I knew the minute I touched him,” Bennett told me quietly, his voice taking on a wistful tone. “He was unconscious and I touched him and my entire world changed in that instant.”
“But how exactly did you know?” I pressed, because I needed to hear it from someone that I loved. Someone I trusted with my life and all its secrets.
“It was like electricity shot up my arm,” he told me, even then his hand ran up his arm, as if remembering that night. “And something inside me just knew. It’s hard to explain, but for a few seconds, it was like my world just shifted. And I saw him, and Lucas, and a bit of our future I think. I think when you meet your fated, your soul just knows. Like oh hello, there you are.” He shrugged, “I’m probably not explaining it well, but like I said, it’s hard to put into words.”
“Mmm,” was all I mumbled, but it must have been enough for Bennett, since we knew each other so well.
He turned his head and gave me a long stare. “Seth, do you think that you and Alex are–?”
“I don’t know!” I wailed, throwing my hands up into the air. “But there were sparks. So many sparks. And need…want…I don’t know. And I swear there were times I thought maybe I was in heat, but yet, not. It’s all so confusing! Because I still just get flashes of parts of that night. I remember a lot, but also I feel like I’m missing something. Something important. Gah, why did I drink so much?”
“Seth,” Bennett said my name softly, “you need to tell Alex about the baby. You need to go see him and find out.” He fiddled on his phone and then mine dinged with a text message. When I glanced at it, I saw it was from Bennett. “That’s his contact information. At least his office address and phone number. I’m not sure where he lives in town, but you need to go see him. You owe him that much.”
He was right, I did owe Alex that much. And I owed it to myself to find out if he was–we were–fated.