Chapter Sixteen #2
I feel the tentative, uncertain bond between us strengthen and grow.
Suddenly, there’s a massive bang which makes me jump but Slate reaches out to calm me.
“Relax. It’s just Onyx. I suspect he may not have liked what he just overheard. He’s so damn angry at the world because he blames himself.”
“What for?”
“Failing to protect me. Being the favourite. Not standing up to her… it’s quite a long list.”
“Well, now you know how ‘bad’ things are between me and her. She’s dead to me. I was forced here and I’ll be gone as soon as I can. Aadi and Smalls are waiting on me.”
“Your brother is Aadi, and Smalls is…?”
“Yeah and Smalls is my everything, my ride or die, my person.”
“So your boyfriend?” he asks.
“No, what we have is more than that, but we owe it to my dad’s girlfriend Chelsea to respect her wishes that whilst we live under her roof, we keep our relationship platonic.”
“This will sting a little,” he says, dabbling my cut with something.
“Son of a bitch,” I hiss. “That freaking hurt.” I jump up from the bed. “Well thanks for patching me up, but I have to get ready for your party.”
“You’re coming?” Slate asks, with wide eyes. I nod.
“Though, I’m sure I won’t be getting lucky with this big ass bandaid on my chin.”
“Plaster.”
“Sorry?”
“We call them plasters over here. And you should be okay to remove it in an hour or so. It’s better to let the air get to it anyway.”
“Oh wow, okay Dr Slate,” I tease. “When did you get to know so much about medicine?”
“Did you meet my brother? I’ve already spent a lifetime patching him up. I learnt quickly to disguise the worst of it, to minimise the impact it had on our parents.”
“Touché,” I laugh.
“I don’t think you should be going near anyone, anymore,” Onyx says as he re-enters the room. I leap out of my skin and swear loudly.
“Don’t do that! Th-that creepy silent serial killer shit! Make a noise when you move or something.”
He doesn’t crack a smile at my joke. Onyx looks terrifying. I’ve never seen him so angry. Taking a step towards me, he easily closes the gap. Slate does the same from behind. My heart begins to race as uncertainty floods me. What’s going on?
“I agree. I wouldn’t want to see anyone get hurt,” Slate adds.
My breath hitches at the contact of them both, and my mind strays from the menacing words they are saying to very much focus on my twin sandwich fantasy.
“You know you want it,” one of them breathes in my ear. Yes I can normally tell them apart, but right now, squeezed between their two hard bodies, I can barely stand, let alone think straight.
“Who wouldn’t? Two men, twins, showing you pleasure you never knew existed.”
Slate’s lips touch my skin and I’m lost in their touch, squirming with pleasure.
“Hold her still,” Onyx barks. I’m not sure if it’s his tone, or the thought of being held still, but my body goes into fight or flight mode.
I use one of the moves Sawyer showed me in self-defence class, a throat strike, that leaves Onyx gasping for breath as I elbow Slate from behind. I can’t be here. I can’t do this.
I run, out of the room, out of the dorm, and smack bang into a hard chest.
Looking up, Sawyer’s steel grey eyes show concern, but his body he keeps at a distance.
“Are you okay?” I nod, tears flowing down my cheeks. “Did someone hurt you?”
“I’m fine, sorry to bother you,” I say, taking a step back, wiping my tears. Sawyer reaches out and grabs my wrist, pulling me back towards him.
“You could never be a bother to me, Amelie. I just can’t do this here…we could go to my office.” A loud pained sob escapes my throat. I can’t do this. He chooses now to acknowledge me? After weeks of blanking me or being cold and distant? I can’t handle his kindness when I’m at my most vulnerable.
“Don’t bother, Sir.” I verbally lash out. “I can’t keep doing this, pretending. You're all too much.”
I don’t wait for him to respond, I take off and race back to my room. At least running with Onyx had some benefits: I’m faster and more coordinated than before. I need to talk to Smalls. Just to hear his voice.
I tear through the pads, not being able to get through the packaging fast enough and power on the phone.
The minute it takes to power up feels like a year passes, but when it’s finally ready, there’s no need to scroll contacts; I know his number off by heart. Even the area code bullshit I have to dial to make international calls.
“Hey, baby, what’s doing?” I can’t respond to him, I hiccup through the tears. “Hey, talk to me, tell me you are okay, I need to hear your voice.”
“I miss you,” I manage to whisper.
“I miss you too. If you need me, I will sell my ass and get on the next flight there.”
I laugh. “You better not sell yourself to those dirty whores, who knows what you’ll catch.”
“And there she is.”
“How will I survive three years here, Smalls? It's barely been half a term and I feel like my heart is dying.”
“Because, baby, you’re a Rossi and Rossi’s are made of tough stuff. What doesn’t kill ya only makes ya stronger.”
“I know, but it still hurts. I’m making shitty choices without you and Aadi here to guide me.”
“We baby you, it is a good time to find yourself. Figure out who Amelie Luna Rossi is, not who we want you to be. I will always be here for you.”
“I love you, Smalls.”
“I love you too, baby girl, ride or die remember? Hold on a sec.”
The call muffles, but I can hear whispering in the background.
Are you coming back to bed?
I don’t make out anything else.
“Sorry, I’m back.”
“I can’t do this, Smalls, go back to bed.”
“It’s not what you th…”
I end the call and power off my phone. I have no right to be jealous; we made the choice to stay friends, to fight our attraction…
besides, it would make me a hypocrite because I’ve fooled around with three guys and slept with another one.
That’s what I’m telling myself anyway, but my heart is devastated.
More tears fall and I swipe them away angrily.
The situation with the twins would have been fine. Apparently now I know sex with one person is fine, but being trapped between two, I can’t handle.
After Smalls and Aadi found me at that party, after the sick freaks videoed me, they wanted to take it to the police, for my sake.
But that isn’t how it works where we come from.
It would have made everything worse for us, but our motto is an eye for an eye.
I know each one of them paid the price for what they did to me.
I don’t really remember any of it, I have flashes of laughter, the room spinning, nothing after that.
I blamed myself for so long, I willingly went to that party to piss off Smalls, because he went to a party with Aadi and Veronica.
I call her the local bike because everyone has had a turn, but that is also the day Smalls set me straight: I was fifteen, he was eighteen, and whilst he felt the connection we had, he would never act on it, not whilst he lived under my father’s roof.
I always just presumed when we grew up and moved out, we would give it a shot but how can I expect him to wait for me?
He will be twenty five by the time I get back to Australia.
He deserves to find a girl and settle down, like he’s always talked about it.
I just always thought it would be with me.
I force myself to get it together and march all the way to Elsie’s room, where I bang a little too hard on her door. She answers after one knock.
“I need booze and lots of it, today has sucked and I need to forget it ever happened.”
“Mini fridge over there is stocked. Tell me that the Knox boys haven't messed with you.”
I don’t fill her in on what happened with the twins.
“Back home problems, realising the boy I thought I would love forever might not be my future. Having to accept just being his friend is a hard pill to swallow.”
“Let's get you dressed and wasted...but first you need to shower, you look like a hot mess.”