Chapter Twelve
Sawyer
It’s been two days and she’s barely woken up in that time. When she has, she’s been incoherent and confused. The doctors say it’s a concussion, nothing too serious, but I’ve never been so afraid in all my life.
“Why hasn’t she woken yet?” Kalen whispers. He’s lying beside her on the bed, unable to tear his eyes away from her pale face. I watch him carefully, well aware that I look as ragged and awful as he does. I care. Deeply. But Kalen...he loves her.
So might I.
I banish the thought and remain focused on Kalen.
“I don’t know what to tell you. You heard the doctors, they said she’ll wake when she’s ready.”
“I can’t believe I left her.” It has to be the thousandth time he’s said this since we found her abandoned in the cave.
“You weren’t to know.”
“She was drunk.”
“That probably saved her injuries from being worse.”
“She could have been…”
“But she wasn’t.” Every argument he has, every ounce of blame he tries to place on himself, I’m here to dismiss it. Kalen is volatile at the best of times; the last thing we need right now is him going off the deep end or sinking into a downward spiral of dark depression caused by misplaced guilt.
“Amelie needs to accept the damage she’s done,” I sigh.
“You sound like Onyx! He said she had to learn her lesson the hard way! I should kill him.”
“Enough, Kalen! I didn’t mean it like that. But Amelie has to realise how dangerous this school just became for her.”
Kalen glowers at me, but doesn’t say anything. He knows I’m right.
Just then we both break off to stare at Amelie as she murmurs in her sleep and stirs.
“What was that, sis?” Kalen asks, leaning in close to catch her response.
“Not...damn...sister…”
“She heard me!” Kalen grins at me. “Amelie, can you hear me?”
“Smell…”
“Huh?”
“I think she’s saying you need a shower,” I smirk.
“Well that’s rich, she puked and has been asleep for days. If anyone needs a shower it’s her!”
“Fuck...off…”
I laugh because although she hasn’t opened her eyes yet, Amelie is very much back and swinging. That’s my girl.
I cross over to the bed and take her small hand in mine, gently rubbing my thumb back and forth over the soft skin.
“Are you okay, Amelie?” I ask. I feel like an idiot, because obviously she’s not okay, but what else can I say?
“Peachy.”
A laugh slips free and I look at her face just in time to see her eyelids flutter open.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” Her voice is scratchy, but her gaze is steady and locked on me. Next to me, Kalen huffs.
“Do you know where you are? What happened?” I ask her gently.
“Yeah. My bed. I was sick and hit my head.”
“Do you remember what happened before that?”
“The party.”
“Anything else?”
I watch her carefully as she pauses, thinks hard, then shakes her head.
“Liar,” Kalen whispers.
“What?” I blink at him.
“She’s lying. She remembers everything.”
I look between him and Amelie and see guilt flash in her eyes. Why would she lie? I mean, we know what happened, I just wanted to check if she did. No one wants to be the one to repeat that back to her.
“It’s okay, Amelie. We know. You don’t have to explain it.”
She nods in relief and sinks back into the pillows, eyes closing again for a moment while she takes a deep breath.
“Can I…” her voice cracks and dies. “Drink?”
“Of course.” I grab the cup of water from the bedside table and pass it to her. She sips slowly from the straw that Slate had the foresight to provide. Years of looking out for Onyx after his fights have trained him well. Speaking of…
“Kalen. Can you go and tell our brothers that Amelie is awake, please?”
“I’ll text them,” he dismisses.
“No. Please go and tell them, face to face.”
“You go.”
“Kalen—”
“You’re not my teacher anymore, you can’t tell me what to do! I’m not leaving.”
“Kalen...go…” Amelie says, sounding stronger. Was it the drink that helped or Kalen’s annoying stubbornness? His eyes flash with hurt and I feel bad.
“Kalen,” I sigh, “Amelie needs a shower, and I’m going to ask Elsie to come over and help. You can go and get the twins and bring them back here, with food, in half an hour. No one is trying to get rid of you, okay?”
“I am,” Amelie jokes quietly, straight-faced. Helpful. I groan, but Kalen looks at her and grins.
“Okay, I’ll grab the others, but we’re coming back, sis, so make yourself presentable.”
She chuckles and gives a small smile as he leaves.
“Are you okay?” I ask again. “Shower or bath?”
“Maybe a bath. Not too sure about standing.”
“Okay, I’ll message Elsie.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t want her to see me like this.” She pauses as her voice trails off, takes a drink and coughs a couple of times. “She’ll feel guilty for not coming to the toilet with me, especially if I look awful.”
“You don’t look awful,” I immediately reply. “But I don’t want you to be alone in water right now.” Hell, I don’t want her to be alone full stop. Ever.
“Can you...would you...stay...in the bath?”
“Of course. Are you good if I just go and run the bath and get things ready?”
She nods, so I do just that, pouring plenty of muscle soak bubble bath into the tub, putting the towel warmer on, and getting everything ready. When it’s done, I go back into the bedroom to find Amelie sitting, her legs hanging off the side of the bed.
“Whoa, you should have waited for me!” I tell her, rushing to her side.
“I am. My feet aren’t on the floor yet.”
“And they won’t be,” I tell her firmly, scooping her up into my arms and carrying her to the bathroom.
Carefully, I sit her down on the counter and grasp the T-shirt Elsie had changed her into.
I look up, hesitate, but then silently ask her if it’s okay to continue.
She nods, and I peel the shirt off and discard it on the floor. Then I look at her.
Really look at her. My gaze studies every millimetre of her skin, drinking in and committing to memory every scratch, bruise, and scar.
Old and new. I long to kiss each one and relieve her pain.
The sight of the crescent moon marks on her breasts has me wanting to tear the one responsible for making them limb from limb.
Instead, I force myself to take a deep breath and relax.
Satisfied that the doctors didn’t miss anything, as crazy as it sounds, I lift her once more and gently lower her into the bath.
She lets out a long, low groan and relaxes back into the steamy bubbles.
I sink down onto the floor and sit beside her.
I don’t talk, I just let her unwind and feel human again. Eventually though she tenses.
“How bad was it?” she asks and I frown. Does she mean the attack? What they did? Her injuries? Or the fall out afterward? The latter was an absolute blood bath, no thanks to Onyx and Branson. Never thought I’d see the day those two were working side by side ever again.
“I think puking on them really helped your cause,” I say dryly and she gives a little snort.
“Wasn’t intentional.”
“Well, be that as it may, I think the worst you escaped with is a concussion.” I had hoped my words would set her mind at ease, but her expression darkens at my words.
I know enough about what happened at the party to know it must have been triggering for her.
I desperately want to comfort her and make everything better, but I know that it’s not possible. “Shall I wash your hair for you?”
“Oh my god, yes please,” she groans. “I feel like I’ve been sleeping in the woods and my hair’s become a natural habitat for honey badgers.”
I grin and get to work. I take my time massaging the shampoo into her scalp and the low moans she makes are enough to make my cock stir. Fucking great, how much of an asshole does that make me?
I try to focus on washing her hair, rinsing, and combing the conditioner through the strands, but I never realised how sensual it is. It’s not like I’ve ever done this before.
“Do you need anything else?” I ask.
“Would you mind washing my back? I can get the rest but…” she trails off, embarrassed.
“Of course. I’ve got you.” I grab her shower scrunchie, wet it, and cover it in gel. I lather it across her back with care and then pass it over. “Are you okay if I quickly change your bed sheets for you?”
“You don’t have to—”
“I want to. It’s fine.” I drop a kiss on the top of her head and move to the bedroom, leaving the door open.
I strip and change the bed, and find some fresh pyjamas in her dresser drawer.
Elsie must have unpacked for her at some point, and everything is neatly laid out and easy to find.
I put them on the bed and go to help her out of the bath.
Only, she’s already standing in the water, wrapped in a towel.
“Hey, you should have called me. I can help you out.” I rush forward and lift her from the tub, setting her down on the floor.
“I want to brush my teeth and...things.”
“Okay, I’ll just speak to the others. Are you ready for them to come over?” She hesitates.
“I’m really tired. Can it wait until tomorrow?”
“Of course,” I lie. They’re not going to be happy. “I’ll step out and let them know, then once you’re in bed I can head off.”
“Will you stay?” she asks with wide eyes. “Just for a bit,” she hastily adds.
“Of course.” Another affectionate kiss, and then I leave her. I step out of the bedroom and into the corridor to call the others, knowing that they’re going to be pissed.
Sure enough, Kalen kicks off. Slate accepts Amelie’s request, and for some reason, Onyx acts like he doesn’t give a damn.
I need to remember to speak to him alone about that at some point.
I quickly call down to the kitchen and arrange for some food to be sent up for Amelie, and then I go back into the bedroom.
I’m glad to see she’s dressed and sitting back on the bed, towel drying her hair.
“Let me do that,” I say, crossing to sit behind her and taking the towel from her hands. “I’ve ordered some food for you, it shouldn’t take long.”
“What did you order?”
“A grilled cheese. I hope that’s okay. My mum always made them for us when we were sick. I kind of associate it with comfort food.”
“Anything is better than soup,” she replies with a laugh. “But I’d kill for a steak.”
“I’ll take you out for a steak when you’re better.”
“Like a date?” I hear the teasing lilt in her voice.
“No. Not like a date. On a date.” I’m serious. I have to pursue this connection between us, and it has nothing to do with The Order.
“I’d like that,” comes her soft reply, and I put the towel down and wrap my arms around her.
Surprisingly, she lets me hold her and we sit like that until there’s a knock on the door.
I collect Amelie’s dinner, surprised that the kitchen also included one for me, and we eat in companionable silence.
When we’re done, I tuck her into the bed and tell her I’ll be back tomorrow. I stroke her now dry hair back from her forehead and place another tender kiss there. I can’t stop touching and kissing her. I don’t want to stop either.
“Sawyer?” she asks sleepily, while yawning.
“Yeah?”
“Will you stay? All night?”
“I—”
“Please?”
My heart twists. How can I say no? If this is what she’s asking for, I’ll damn well make sure I give it to her.
“Of course,” I tell her and she gives me a bright smile.
Patting the bed next to her, she wiggles over slightly to make room for me.
I check the time – it’s late – so why the hell not?
I pull my T-shirt over my head, drop my jeans and crawl into bed beside her in just my boxers.
Not that I have any funny ideas or anything, I just want to be comfortable.
Amelie rolls over, hooking one leg over mine and snuggling in so that her head is on my chest. I’m not usually a cuddly person, but this is...nice. Like, I could get used to this, with her. I run my hand up and down her bare arm and begin to talk.
“Amelie, we can’t let anything else happen to you.”
She makes a sound of protest so I softly shush her.
“You’re going to need protection. I couldn’t live with myself if you got hurt again, and I know my brothers feel the same.
I know you’re not ready to forgive them for what they did, but Kalen was absolutely beside himself both times you got hurt. You have to let us help you.”
“I can’t,” she whispers.
“Why not, baby?” I pull a face as the word effortlessly slips out. I’m not normally one for terms of endearment, but damn if she doesn’t bring out a softer side of me. “You hate asking for help don’t you?”
“If you knew my mother, what she did, you’d understand.”
“Amelie, my brothers and I are the kings of understanding with the shitty parents we had. That’s why we know what we’re talking about when we say that family – the one we’ve chosen for ourselves – is everything.”
“I can’t Sawyer...your brothers broke me.”
“Amelie Luna Rossi.” Yeah I read her file, I know her full name and a hell of a lot more about her, thanks to The Order. “You are the furthest thing from broken I’ve ever seen. You’re a diamond. Absolutely unbreakable. And it’s one of the things I love most about you.”
Holy crap that was a bit deep. I tense, ready for her to freak out, but she just gives a little sigh and relaxes into my touch.
I hold her a while longer, contemplating the tornado of emotions she stirs up within me.
The need to protect her burns fiercely, and I understand fully the state that Kalen is in over her.
He has it worse than I do though, because she’s at least forgiven me.
Her breathing deepens and steadies, and I know that she’s asleep. Unable to resist, I drop one last kiss onto her forehead, muttering “I love you” as I too drift off into a dreamless sleep.