Chapter Forty-Six
Amelie
I fling myself down over Onyx’s lifeless body, the only thing in the clearing. Bastian is long gone, but I don’t give a shit. Onyx is my only focus.
He isn’t moving, isn’t breathing...nothing. His skin is deathly pale and dread creeps up my spine and steals my breath. My own heart stops beating as fear grasps it and squeezes.
This can’t be happening.
I shouldn’t have left to try to get help. I should have stayed by his side and fought with him. He was fine when I left. I swear he had the upper hand. He told me to go! He was so damn confident. Too confident.
Now he’s hurt, possibly even dead.
Frantically, I scramble to grab his wrist, trying to find a pulse. But I can’t.
“Help!” I scream until my throat is raw. “Somebody please help us!”
“There are ambulances on the way. We’ll make sure he gets one.” I look up into eyes so like Onyx’s, I do a double take. I didn’t even notice anyone in the clearing with me.
Blinking to clear my vision, I’m able to focus on the entire face in front of me. It’s not him. Obviously, I know that, but my brain isn’t functioning properly right now. I’ve never been so afraid in my life, and as I look into the terrified eyes of Onyx’s twin, I realise that I’m not the only one.
Slate’s fear mingles with a dreadful kind of resignation. Like he’s already gone.
“No!” I scream at him, right in his face. He doesn’t even flinch. “Don’t you dare give up on him!”
Kalen and Sawyer race into the clearing where I stand, and I witness the same kind of desperate hopelessness mirrored in their expressions too.
I know that they are injured. But my brain refuses to register why. I just can’t bring myself to care about anything other than the boy bleeding out on the floor in front of me.
“Fuck off! He can’t die. Not now!”
I race to start CPR, not even knowing if I’m doing it right or not. Why aren’t they helping me? Why are they just watching? Where the fuck is the fucking ambulance?
“Onyx, I forgive you, okay?! On, please don’t die on me!” Helpless sobs wrack my entire body and hot angry tears stream down my face.
If I wasn’t so absolutely terrified of losing him, I’d be incandescent with rage. Why did I hold a grudge? Why didn’t I just accept his apology and move on? Why didn’t I fully forgive him, trust him, sooner?
Deep down, I knew he’d never hurt me, so why couldn’t I just let it go?
Distant sirens get louder as they approach, but I can’t comprehend anything other than Onyx’s prone form stretched out in front of me.
Bile churns in my stomach and all I can focus on is the 30:2 ratio.
Don’t die. I’m frantically counting. Don’t die.
Pressing down on his chest with my entire body weight.
Don’t die. Pausing only to administer two rescue breaths.
Don’t die. Repeating the process all over again.
“Don’t you dare fucking die on me you stubborn asshole! Don’t...you...dare…”
“Thank you, Miss, we can take it from here.” A professional, calm sounding voice startles me out of my rhythm and I reluctantly allow the two paramedics in front of me to take over. I struggle to my feet and make it two steps away from them before my knees give out and I crash to the ground.
“Amelie, baby…”
I whip around and snarl at Kalen.
“Don’t! Don’t call me that. Only Onyx can.”
“Amelie, he’s…”
“Fuck off! He’s not gone! He can’t be.”
“We need to get him to the hospital. Who’s his next of kin? We need details. One of you should ride in the ambulance with us. The rest of you can follow and meet us there.”
“I will!” We all call at once.
“I’m his twin!” Slate yells.
“And I’m the oldest,” Sawyer overrules, climbing into the back of the ambulance without hesitation. “Someone find Dad, tell him…”
“Is he dead?” I whisper. The paramedics exchange glances.
“No. But he’s in a critical condition and we really need to get moving. It’s going to be touch and go, and every second will count now.”
“Will he be okay?”
“If he survives the trip to the hospital, he’ll have a fighting chance. Now, you need to excuse us…”
They whirl into action, suddenly moving with a lot more speed and purpose than they did when they first arrived. I don’t know how long it’s taken; I feel like I’m wading through treacle and time is dragging torturously slowly. Oh god, please let him be okay.
Don’t fucking die on me, On. Not when I didn’t tell you that I forgive you. Not when I didn’t get to say I lo—
From a great distance I hear the sound of doors slamming, an engine roaring to life, the blast of sirens. Everything in the vicinity is lit up in an eerie shade of blue from the warning beacon. And then they’re gone.
I crawl over to where Onyx was laid. The grass is stained, dark and wet with his blood. So much blood. I look down at my hands, surprised when they come away bright red; the blood on the grass is so thick it looks black.
“Amelie, we need to go.”
I don’t answer.
I can’t.
I know we need to race to the hospital, chase after the ambulance, but I can’t get my brain to communicate that urgent message with my limbs. I feel like I’m frozen, stuck in limbo, paralysed with the fear of waiting to hear the worst.
“She’s not moving.”
“Well, just pick her up!”
“She’s covered in blood.”
“So?”
“I don’t want to hurt her.”
“For fuck’s sake! I’ll do it. You grab the car.”
Rough hands grab me from behind and I’m jerked to my feet. Once I’m standing, someone calls my name and shakes me roughly.
I can’t respond. It’s like I’m stuck underwater or trapped behind soundproof glass. I’m screaming for help still, but no one can hear me.
A loud crack fills the air and my head snaps to one side with the force of the blow delivered to my cheek.
I don’t even react to that. I’m forcefully shoved in the direction of the car and I stumble.
My legs won’t work. I blink sluggishly and in the two years it feels like my eyes are closed for, Onyx’s death replays in my mind over and over.
“Fuck you, Amelie!” Kalen snarls, shaking me again. “He’s not dead!”
“Guys! Get in the mother fucking car or so help me God, I’ll leave the pair of you here!” Slate pounds the steering wheel impatiently.
I blink blankly at the pair of them. I can’t get in that car. I can’t be around Slate right now, staring at the whole face of the broken twin I should have loved harder. I’m not going all the way to the hospital to hear that we were too late, that I failed.
I take a shaky step backwards.
“Amelie?” Slate calls. “What are you doing? Get in the car!”
I take another step and Kalen’s head whips between Slate and I, unsure what to do.
“Grab her!” Slate demands.
“Fuck off!” I scream, turning and bolting as if it were my life on the line and not Onyx’s. With every pounding footfall through the dark, I repeat my new mantra: “Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off!”