Chapter One
Amelie
Blood, there is so much blood. I stare at my hands in shock. A vortex of voices swirls around me but nothing makes sense. Sticky black blood pools at my feet.
There’s no way he can survive this.
“She’s not moving.”
“Well, pick her up.”
They keep talking but shock has taken control of my mind.
He’s dead.
I should have told him how I felt.
It barely registers when someone lifts me from the ground, not until I’m already in the air. My body flops around almost like it’s lifeless...not lifeless. Onyx was lifeless. So much blood.
Dead.
The vortex starts again, the world around me spinning, and a loud crack echoes through my body. I shake my head, the here and now coming back slowly. Disappearing just as quickly. My eyes won’t open and my legs are jelly.
All I can see is Onyx lying on the ground, and it’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have left him. I should have stayed.
Everything happens in a blur. Yelling, lots of yelling, and my feet suddenly moving of their own accord. I’m running. I don’t know where, but I know that I have to go. Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me and Onyx is alive and looking for me. I just have to find him.
"Fuck off!” I scream. Not sure at what or who, but I need to find him. He’ll be looking for me surely.
I trip over my own feet and land in a puddle of blood. Onyx’s body is there, blood rolling down the side of his face, his eyes open. Lifeless. Dead.
“Help me.”
My eyes pop open, my heart beating a million miles a minute.
The nightmares keep happening, even though Onyx is fine.
I don’t know why, but the end of the dream keeps changing.
Today the tripping over his dead body is different, but it’s always something similar.
I look out of the limo window as we pull up the driveway to Sawyer’s house.
I’m so excited to see Momo. And the guys, obviously, but that nap has me feeling drained rather than refreshed.
“Did you have another nightmare?” Kalen asks. I nod.
He’s been harping on about me seeing a shrink since the night it happened. No doubt that now we’re back from Australia, he’ll tell Sawyer and they’ll make me go and speak to someone. I don't understand how telling someone my ‘issues’ or reliving that night again will change anything.
The bomb went off and changed so much. Everything in fact.
Reliving it won’t change the outcome or the devastation caused.
Grandpa Knox is still MIA. They caught that wanker Bastian but he hasn’t been any help; he either knows nothing, or he’s really good at keeping secrets.
As soon as the limo stops, I unplug my belt and jump from the car. I know Onyx is here; I made them all promise to be here. I didn’t feel like going to Monty’s house and dealing with Laura’s crap, and Slate said Onyx has been up and is being his usual pain-in-the-ass self.
Luckily, the door is unlocked, and I barrel into the house. Three sets of eyes turn my way, but mine lock with Onyx. A smirk pulls at his lips. If I wasn’t so desperate to see how he is, that smirk would probably have my panties melting.
I don't hesitate, I weave around the furniture and launch myself at him. He braces my weight as I straddle his hips. My lips find his. Bruising. Punishing. Life-affirming.
In the background, I hear Kalen whine and Slate tells him to go eat a bag of dicks. I agree. He had me to himself for two whole weeks, so it’s only fair they get a turn. I feel like a brand new toy that everyone wants to play with, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t love the attention.
Someone coughs beside me, I pull away from Onyx and look over to where Slate is sitting.
It’s easier to meet his eyes now I know Onyx is okay.
For so long after that night, I couldn’t stand to look at his twin.
It was too painful, but not because they look so similar, but because the guilt was eating me up inside.
Guilt for leaving Onyx to get hurt, guilt for giving my heart to Slate more freely than I gave it to Onyx.
Just…guilt for so many more reasons than I could verbalise.
Even now, I feel like shit for the additional hell my silence put us all through, but I guess that’s my thing: I run and I fuck everything up. They should expect it of me by now.
“If I’d known that all I had to do was get shot to get this kind of attention, I would have picked a fight with Branson,” Slate jokes.
My eyes go round and I feel the colour drain from my face.
“Take it back,” I demand.
“He was only joking, sweetheart.”
I turn to face Sawyer.
“I don’t care, it’s not funny. Just thinking about one of you dying…” I pause, shuddering at the idea before finishing lamely, “hurts.”
“Look what I found,” Kalen announces.
I didn’t realise he had left the room. He stands in the doorway with a big ball of fluff in his arm, and my face lights up.
A most welcome distraction, Momo launches himself from Kalen’s arms and scurries across the floor jumping onto the couch beside me.
His little tail wags like crazy while he licks my face, and I laugh as he barks and jumps and licks in his excitement.
“Jeez, Amelie. You made him pee,” Kalen complains.
“He can’t help it, he’s excited to see me.”
“You wouldn’t say that if I pissed myself every time you entered a room.”
Momo curls up in my lap after a few minutes, enjoying a scratch behind his ears.
“Is it safe to talk freely in here?” I ask Sawyer. He confirms it is, and I look over at Kalen who nods. He knows we have to tell his brothers about Debbie.
“I know I told you all that my grandmother wanted to see me while I was in Australia, and that she’s connected to some shady shit.
Before Kalen and I left she requested we see her one last time.
” Each guy nods, clearly very suspicious of what I’m about to say.
“Well, it turns out she wasn’t the only one waiting for me. ”
I hesitate.
With everything that’s happened, I really don’t want to add or cause any unnecessary stress on Onyx. Or even Sawyer. He’s taken on so much lately.
“Who was there, Amelie?” Sawyer asks, irritation in his tone that he is only finding out now. He cuts a glare to Kalen.
“My mother.”
“Laura?” Slate questions, confused.
“No…Debbie.”
“How?” Onyx asks, his brows pulled in tight. Even Sawyer is quiet.
“It’s definitely her…” Kalen jumps in for me when I fail to answer Onyx’s question.
“I know, I’d find it hard to believe if I wasn’t there, considering that we all saw her alleged death certificate.
But we sort of hightailed it before we could find out any information. Amelie wasn’t ready to meet her yet.”
Kalen and his brothers all stare at each other. I know what they must be thinking: why the hell would my paternal grandmother be protecting my ‘dead’ biological mother? My question is, does my father know about this?
Does theirs?
“I want to know why they’re working together. My grandmother made it clear in not so many words that she hates The Order, so I don’t think we can trust either of them.”
“We can add it to our list of things to deal with. They won’t be able to step foot on UK soil without us knowing about it.
I want you to be careful with any information you give them though – no matter how small and insignificant it may seem.
They could be planning to use you to get to The Order.
” Sawyer already has his phone out to make a call, distracted, so he doesn’t notice my frown.
He sounds like he’s a lot more concerned with protecting The Order than me.
“Don’t tell anyone yet,” I quickly plead.
“I need to deal with this. I know they probably just want to use me…I mean, it’s obviously no coincidence that now I’ll be taking over, Debbie resurfaces, but a part of me thinks maybe it’s just because she can now be safe from your grandfather.
He’s a real piece of work.” I keep my on-the-fence thoughts and suspicions about Monty to myself at this point.
I’m only just home, and one bombshell is enough.
I don’t want to upset the delicate balance we’ve formed since the night of the bomb.
Casting aspersions on their father would definitely rock the boat.
“We can respect that,” Slate replies, and I give him a small smile. Any mother is a step up from Laura, and a part of me does want to hear Debbie out. Not that I say this to the guys.
“Once you’re sworn in, we will have access to more resources to help us figure this out. Dad messaged earlier, and we have a meeting tonight. He said he and Laura are out all day so it’s safe to go to the house to sleep.”
“Thank god! Amelie snores so bad, I didn’t get any damn sleep.” Kalen smiles as he talks, knowing full well he was the one drooling and snoring the entire flight home.
“It’s all lies.” I laugh, finally feeling lighter than I have in weeks.
It’s so damn good to be home. I know I haven’t been here long but it has quickly become my home, and now I couldn’t imagine being away from the guys even if Kalen does drive me insane. I’m not sure I would ever vacation with him alone again for two whole weeks.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. I slip it out with a pang of guilt; I was supposed to message Smalls and my family to let them know I arrived safely but I forgot.
Except it isn’t them, it’s Baxter.
Baxter
We need to talk
He can bet his ass we need to talk. I’m pissed he cut Kalen’s hair back in the first term here at school. I don’t care how much time has passed or that his hair is growing back nicely, I’m still pissed. Although, we should probably talk about other important shit too.
Amelie
Yes we do! Meet me at Monty’s.
I hit send, pocket my phone and announce, “Hey guys, I need to go to your dad’s house to talk to Baxter.”
“Can't it wait until tonight?” Onyx grumbles. I move Momo from my lap and turn to straddle Onyx once again.
“No, it can’t wait. I have a bone to pick with him.” I lean in close to his ear. “I need you waiting upstairs for me after. I have to make sure you’re okay. It may require you to be naked.” I wink and he squeezes my waist, his cock stirring to life between my thighs.
“You get fifteen minutes before I come find you, and tear his head off.”
I smile against his neck.
Sawyer calls a car for us and once it arrives, Slate helps Onyx outside, much to his annoyance. Kalen yells shotgun and announces that he has business to take care of, which could literally mean anything knowing him.
With the others approaching the car, Sawyer pulls me back into his hallway, tucking me in against his body and wrapping his arms around me tightly.
“I missed you,” he whispers in my ear. He’s never as affectionate as the others in public, so I appreciate him taking a moment to reconnect with me.
“I missed you too.” I look up at him and he stares back down at me, eyes dark with longing.
“Stay with me tonight.”
I find myself nodding even though he didn’t word it as a question. “Okay, but I have to go now.” Pushing up on my tiptoes I place my lips on his. He rests his head against mine and sighs.
“See you tonight.”
We break apart and head outside. Kalen is hanging out of the passenger window yelling at Slate and Onyx to stop fighting.
I walk over to the car and around it to the other side, where I discover Onyx has Slate in a headlock.
“It’s not what it looks like,” Onyx protests, hastily releasing his brother who darts into the car out of sight.
“I’m sure.” I raise a brow at him, smirk and slide in next to Slate who’s gasping for air.
After that, the ride to the house is quiet, but comfortably so. Slate runs his finger up and down my leg, which causes me to clench my thighs together. Fuck, I’ve missed him. All of them in fact.
As soon as the car stops in the Knox driveway, I slip from the back seat with a quick goodbye to the others, and flick Baxter a message letting him know to meet me down by the gardener’s shed.
He doesn’t reply but I know he’ll be hiding in the shadows watching me right now, so I figure he could use a heads up as to where to meet me.
As I trudge across the grass, I pull my coat tighter around my body, shivering.
Coming back from Australia to the ‘great’ British weather is the only downside.
I hate the cold and I feel like I’m in Antarctica, even if it’s mild and ‘quite warm’ according to Kalen.
Apparently a two week heatwave is on the way which means they’ll all be half naked and burnt to a crisp while I feel like I can just about remove my thermal socks.
Coming to a stop close to the shed, I scour the tree line but can’t see Baxter anywhere.
“You can come out now, creeper,” I call out on instinct with a smile tugging against my lips.
I know he’s here somewhere and I might be pissed about Kalen’s hair, but I also want to make sure Baxter’s alright.
Speaking to him on the phone and sending a few text messages while I was away did nothing to soothe my fears, and I won’t believe he’s okay until I see it with my own eyes.
I wait, and I wait. And then I wait some more. I look at my phone for what feels like the hundredth time and curse Baxter. He’s never late, it isn’t his style. Surely if he wasn’t going to make it, he would have called? Dread fills my stomach. What if something has happened to him?
There’s no way, it can’t have.
I dial his number and scan the tree line. I bet the asshat is watching me panic from a distance.
The call clicks straight to voicemail. Leave a message I mock at the stupid recording. Who just says leave a message? It’s like he’s above people knowing his name.
I hang up without leaving a message, and then I reconsider and call him back.
“I swear the fuck to fucking god that you better have a good reason for standing me up! Are you stalking that poor girl? You better not have her tied up in a basement somewhere because I will not save your ass. I’m too pissed at you.
” I hang up and scan the area again. He knows how to be invisible.
He better not be using his skills on me.
“Baxter Baudelaire Bojangles Branson, so help me god if you are out there I’m going to kill you,” I yell while I dial his number again. “Then I will bring you back to life just to kill you all over again.”