Chapter 10
Amy walked over to Knox and reached for his hand. He withdrew almost immediately before they made contact. What the hell?
Another wall came up between them. As much as she would probably desire this man for the rest of her life, she couldn’t do this anymore. His village conquest should have been the final straw. He still hadn’t come clean about why she’d been in his hut. Was Amy wearing a ‘fool’ stamp on her forehead, same as Lorna?
As much as her heart wanted to protest, logic had to take over at some point. Stopping herself before she touched the hot stove again was a survival tactic.
“What’s next?” she asked Knox. “Are we heading out?”
“I assume you both ate breakfast already,” he said as he moved to his pack, closed off the top, and then shouldered it.
“Yes,” Amy responded at the same time as Lorna.
Amy, for one, was relieved Donnie had taken off on his own. He’d been nothing but a pain in the backside once they reunited. He’d abandoned her in the first place, she hadn’t forgotten that move. And he did little more than keep Lorna confused and frustrated. The man was a waste of time and energy.
“What else can we do?” she asked.
“Get yourselves ready to head back out,” he stated.
Amy cocked an eyebrow.
“Going back in can play a number on your mind,” he explained.
“I’m good,” Amy said, pretty sure that was true. She turned to Lorna. “How are you holding up?”
“Home sounds pretty great to me right now,” Lorna said.
“Truer words have never been spoken,” Amy agreed. Only home had started to feel a lot like Knox. Silly her and her schoolgirl crush that had her thinking they could have something lasting. The renewed attraction was probably nothing more than muscle memory. If that was a thing. “If all goes well, when might that be a reality?”
“At this point, I’m making no promises,” he countered with a hand in the air. “My hope is to make it to the extraction point by nightfall. That will happen only if we don’t have any detours or complications, which I think we all know by now would be considered optimistic.”
“Who will pick us up?” she asked. “Is someone waiting there?”
He shook his head. “Once we get to the extraction point, I’ll signal for a pickup.”
“Then how long will it take?” she pressed, the thought of leaving the relative safety of the village to go back into the jungle where she’d nearly died starting to play with her imagination.
“Your guess is as good as mine,” he said. “There’s no village there with folks to take care of us or feed us. My guy could have been called out on another mission or he could be hanging out in a bar in Peru, waiting for the signal. These pilots are in demand and you don’t usually find them sitting around. But we might get lucky.”
“What if he can’t come?” Amy asked.
“He will,” Knox reassured.
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because we’re part of a group that has each other’s backs,” he said, shouldering his pack. “If he can’t make it personally, he’ll send someone.”
“So basically, if I understand this correctly, we’re heading out to some kind of clearing where there isn’t anyone waiting, but you’ll signal once we get there. If we get there alive. And then, at some point, but we don’t know when, someone will pick us up if we aren’t killed in the meantime.” She frowned. “What are the odds of survival?”
“For soldiers?” he asked, his expression serious. “They’re high.” He walked past her toward the opening of the hut. “For civilians? Maybe you’ll be the first to make it out alive.”
He turned around at the door with a big smile plastered across his face. “Maybe you’ll defy the odds.”
And then he laughed. The turkey.
“Okay, fine,” she said, joining him at the entrance and forcing Lorna to come along.
“It’s safe here,” Lorna whined. “Nothing inside me wants to go back into that jungle when there’s food and shelter here.”
“Yeah,” Knox said casually, “but once I leave, they’ll eat you.”
Lorna’s eyes momentarily widened with shock. Then, it dawned on her that he wasn’t serious. “Cannibals?” She rolled her eyes.
Knox laughed. He was having fun with them. Normally, Amy wouldn’t hesitate to jump right in. Lowering her guard around Knox wasn’t happening again.
“Be serious,” she said to him, resisting the urge to give him a playful slap on the arm.
“Fine,” he quipped. “But that sounds boring.”
“You know what doesn’t sound boring?” she asked under her breath. Then said, “Not having your heart stomped on.”
If he heard those words, he didn’t react to them.
The three of them filed outside of the hut after Amy secured her camera. The woman from yesterday stood behind another bare-chested woman. Seriously? Couldn’t these ladies put on a shirt?
Amy almost laughed. She was losing it. Literally, losing it.
No, they couldn’t get dressed because she was in their territory, not the other way around. Modern ideas hadn’t reached this village.
Without warning, the woman ran up to Knox and threw her arms around his waist. He looked momentarily put off, but then comforted her. Amy should probably be upset but it looked like he was being kind and not pining after the woman. In fact, there was something about his expression that she couldn’t pinpoint.
He’d opened up a little last night before closing the door again this morning. Would he tell her the story behind this scene if she asked?
Ifshe lived long enough.
Hug over, Knox practically had to peel the woman’s arms off him. She immediately turned and ran toward her friend. In a surprise move, she detoured at the last minute to hug Amy. Whoa. Now she was even more confused.
Knox turned away like he couldn’t watch. Was he getting emotional about the exchange? Amy might not understand but the villager was struggling and Amy didn’t have it in her heart to be mean to someone who was clearly emotional, so she returned the hug. The villager would be considered pretty by most standards. She was maybe Amy’s age or thereabouts. She had jet-black hair that ran halfway down her back, her neck covered in beaded necklaces.
Those dark almond eyes studied Amy for a long moment before she disappeared into a nearby hut, followed by her friend.
Amy made a mental note to ask Knox what just happened. Was his former lover saying goodbye to him? Acknowledging Amy was his current girlfriend? Was that the reason she’d been crying in his hut the other day? Had he rejected her? Told her that a relationship wasn’t going to happen?
And why was Amy in the middle?
“That was weird,” Lorna whispered.
“Try standing in my shoes,” Amy said under her breath as Knox joined them. She shot him a look that he acknowledged with a slight nod. Did that mean he would explain later? She hoped so because she was still trying to figure out what had just happened. There was no way, in her mind at least, that Knox would have told the woman he was in a relationship with Amy.
Did he not want to own up to the fact he was letting her down?
“Let’s go,” he said, and his voice was gruff from emotion.
“Will you?—”
“Tell you later,” he said through clenched teeth.
If Knox said he would explain, she believed him.
Lorna clung to Amy’s arm as they followed him away from the gathering. Several tribe members waved to Knox on his way across the village. He was well known here.
A wave of dread washed over Amy at the thought of leaving the relative comfort of the village. This seemed like a good time to remind herself there was no other way to get home but through the jungle. They’d made it this far. Luck?
Maybe.
But she was a fighter too. And that counted for something. She’d survived being abandoned by Donnie and she’d saved Knox’s life in the water along with Lorna’s. Reminding herself she’d been a badass helped her believe she might make it out of this jungle alive. Especially when she factored in Knox’s help.
Machete out, Knox led them back into the thick green vines. Amy walked with Lorna practically plastered to her back again. At least they’d gotten some real rest and food in them for the journey.
Knox avoided the water for hours this time as he methodically cut through twisting vines with leaves larger than her face. When he stopped, she heard the rush of it nearby.
“Let’s break to refuel and hydrate,” he said. She noted that he kept his distance from tree trunks and vines. It was too easy for snakes and spiders to lurk inside.
Amy managed to get a little breathing room from Lorna, who walked toward the rushing sound. She’d been quiet. Was she lost without Donnie?
Breakups were hard. This one had to qualify as right up there with one of the strangest.
Since she and Knox had a little privacy, she decided to ask about the woman. “Who was she and why did she hug me?”
“Not my story to tell,” he said after a thoughtful pause.
“What do you mean? It’s clear the two of you meant something to each other,” she pointed out.
“Why do you keep trying to ship me off with her?” he asked, indignant.
“Because I have eyes and what happened invited questions before she threw her arms around me, so imagine my shock when she brought me into this…whatever this is or was,” she said, forcing a calm in her voice that required a good amount of effort.
“You think I had sex with her?” he shot back. “Is that what this is about?”
She noticed that he didn’t tell her it was none of her business. He came across like he should be the one upset. Which caught her off guard even more. “It seems like the two of you have intimate knowledge of each other. She’s beautiful, by the way.”
“The reason she left my hut crying is because I had to deliver the news that the man she loves and hoped to spend the rest of her life with is dead,” he ground out, issuing her a challenge with his gaze. “Happy now?”
“Wait a minute,” Amy said, trying to piece together what he was really saying. “Why would you know about someone out here in the jungle? Haven’t you been in rehab?”
“Yes,” he said, looking at her like he expected it to click any moment now. “I was in rehab. She lives out here, cut off from news from the so-called civilized world.”
And then it hit her like a ton of bricks. The scenes played out like a movie reel in her head. The way the woman had come out of his hut, refusing to look at her. And then how sorrowful she looked when she’d hugged Knox this morning. And then the hug with Amy.
“How could I have missed it?” she said under her breath.
“They were in love,” Knox said. “But she refused to leave her tribe. Garrett couldn’t leave you and your mom. So, they decided to take some time and see how they felt once they were apart. Garrett intended to come back here to live once his time was up. When he didn’t, she believed he’d moved on with another woman. Seeing me again stirred up memories. I had to tell her what happened.”
“That must have been what my brother wanted to tell us,” Amy said, her mind reeling. “My brother said he wanted to take us out to dinner when he came home, which was code for he had news. Mostly, it had been him telling us that he wanted to re-up his tour, so I didn’t think much about it at the time. Looking back now, though, it makes sense.”
She wished she could go back in time and hug the woman even harder.
“Why didn’t she want me to know about her?” Amy continued.
“What good would it have done?”
Amy didn’t have a good answer, except it would have been nice to know. “I would have treated her differently.”
“Yes, but you still would have left.”
“Even so, I would have spent time with the person my brother loved to get to know her better,” she said.
“It wasn’t what she wanted,” he said. “I’m not even supposed to be telling you now.”
Grief shrouded her like a cold, wet blanket. But it was quickly followed by comfort. “It’s good to talk about him. You know?”
Knox swallowedthe lump in his throat. He did know. “Not a day goes by that I don’t think about Garrett.”
Those words couldn’t be truer. The pain he held tight to his chest couldn’t be sharper. And the guilt couldn’t be more consuming. A growing piece of him wanted to tell Amy the truth.
The thought of her hating him stopped him cold. It was better to keep his distance.
“Me too,” Amy said.
“I’m sorry,” was all he could say.
“It’s not your fault,” she naively responded. He had to bite down on his lip to stop himself from responding. “You were like family to him, Knox. I know how comforted my mom was that you were with him when…”
Amy tucked her chin to her chest and cleared her throat. She turned her face away from him. Hiding the fact she was crying?
Despite his better judgment, Knox closed the distance between them in one stride, and brought her into a warm embrace. He feathered a kiss on her forehead, her nose, her chin, moving toward those cherry lips of hers that he’d been wanting to claim for days at this point.
When he found them, it was as though a bomb exploded inside his chest. His pulse jumped through the sky and he started breathing like he was midway through a sprint. Self-control flew out the window in that moment. He no longer had the willpower to withdraw from Amy.
A noise to his left broke the moment happening between them, so he pulled back. Resting his forehead against hers, he tried to get his breathing under control again. With effort, he finally slowed his pulse to a normal pace. And then he made his second mistake, pulling back far enough to lock gazes with Amy. Another one of those bombs detonated, followed by a sharp pain in the knowledge he was probably in love with her but would never have her.
He was going to live the rest of his life without this person who’d imprinted on his heart.
The world was that messed up. The universe would pull something like that, allow him to find love but keep it just out of reach. The reality he could never have Amy would haunt him for the rest of his days.
“What’s that?” Lorna’s panicked voice cut through the fog.
Knox turned toward the area where she gestured to find a pair of large eyes staring at him through the vines. A jaguar.
He brought his machete up high, sidestepped Amy, and then made animal-like sounds as he cut through the vine toward the jaguar. They had the advantage of numbers. He liked the odds of one jaguar to three people.
Amy instinctively followed suit. The latent tomboy in her no doubt kicked in at this point. She was every bit a woman, though.
The jaguar disappeared but it wasn’t good that he’d allowed one to get so close. He’d been too caught up in the moment with Amy and his mistake could have cost another life.
“It’s gone,” he said, kicking himself in the rear end for the misstep. Lorna proved to be an asset. At least she’d kept focus. “Thanks for the heads-up.”
“Should we get going?” she asked.
He nodded. It dawned on him that Donnie was out here somewhere. Alone?
Knox liked the sound of that even less. It made no sense that he would break off from the group, unless he’d made a friend somewhere along the way that not even Lorna knew about. With Donnie’s personality, it was unlikely he made a friend. Out here, though, folks could form an alliance when they had mutual interests.
“How much do you trust A.J.?” he asked Lorna as he hacked through vines, creating a walking trail.
“He’s considered the best,” Lorna said. “I don’t know him personally but he came highly recommended.”
“Did he ever say what he saw that spooked him?” he continued, hoping to find a clue as to where Donnie might be or if the two were somehow in league. What would anyone have to gain from abandoning Amy? She didn’t want to be out here in the first place.
“Said he saw a spirit,” Lorna supplied as they pushed forward.
That tracked. But wouldn’t he develop a reputation for leaving those in his charge stranded?
Unless disappearing was pre-planned. Pre-paid?
“What about Donnie?” Knox asked. “Did he have an association with A.J. prior to this trip?”
“I don’t think so,” Lorna said. “All Donnie said was that he trusted this man with his life.”
“And it was A.J.’s wife who came to you to explain what happened, right?”
“It was,” Lorna confirmed.
A glance back at Amy said the dots were connecting. And yet, what could anyone possibly have to gain by hurting her?
No immediate reason came to mind, so he figured it was best to ask about it instead of wondering.
“Can you think of any reason Donnie would gain from your harm, Amy?” he asked.
“I didn’t know the man before this trip other than through Lorna,” Amy admitted.
“Her footage was going to save us,” Lorna interjected. “Getting the anaconda on film was going to bring the funding we needed to stay afloat. Donnie is broke and my family has run out of patience with lending us money.”
“Is it possible Donnie plans to stay out here until he finds what he’s looking for?” Knox asked.
“Sure,” Lorna said. “He’s fixated on finding what he came for.”
“But no one is there to document the find,” Amy pointed out. It was the reason she’d become so valuable to the team. In fact, as Knox was told, Donnie insisted on moving forward without Lorna.
Would that create jealousy? Would Lorna believe Donnie had moved onto an attraction with Amy? Was he known for cheating?
This line of thinking put Lorna at the center of suspicion. The woman hadn’t proven to be much of a friend. Would she completely turn her back on Amy? Send her into harm’s way?
To what end?
Donnie was a jerk. What else was he?
“I’m not sure that would stop him at this point,” Lorna admitted. “If he comes out of this jungle without proof, his career is over.”
“Why did he lie about coming here in the first place?” Knox asked, listening carefully to any sound as they made their way toward the extraction point. There were too many variables to guarantee safe passage at this point. It was also clear to Knox that Donnie had to have made a friend along the way. It was the only explanation for him to still be alive once he broke off from Amy. Mercenaries or drug cartels wouldn’t let him live. That was a chicken-shit move on his part to save himself and sacrifice Amy. Said a lot about the man’s character, though.
“I honestly don’t know,” Lorna admitted. “He convinced me to use Amy because he said she wouldn’t charge us.”
Knox didn’t have to turn around to feel the heat coming off Amy at the admission.
“That’s why he offered a piece of the money on the backend,” Lorna added like that somehow made everything better.
Amy was struggling to make a name for herself, so it made sense on some level but if she didn’t get footage she would have walked away empty-handed and in the hole. Flights here weren’t exactly inexpensive, even in the cheap seats. Then, there was the cost of surviving with supplying her own food.
“I sold my piano for this,” Amy cut in, clearly angry. “The one my grandmother left me in her will. The only thing I had from her.”
Jerk move to ask her to foot the bill on an unknown outcome.
“I’m sorry,” Lorna continued like an apology somehow made it all better.
“Anything else I need to know about Donnie?” Knox asked, redirecting before Amy could get too worked up.
“He’s not the person I believe in,” Lorna said quietly. At least she was beginning to see through the man. Or was she saving her own skin now too? Going with the mood around her toward Donnie?
“You’ve been together three years,” Knox continued.
“That’s right.”
“And during that time, did he go on any solo missions?”
“Yes, of course,” she said. “It’s not like we could afford both of us to go every time. I had to stay back and work. Amy got me on at the bar as a sub, so I made a little money to keep things rolling when my parents wouldn’t come through with funding.”
“Did he ever do any fundraisers on his own?” Knox asked.
“Yes, but they didn’t bring in a lot of money,” Lorna said on a sigh. “We did everything under the sun. Kick-starter campaign. Yep. GoFundMe. Did that too. We tried standing in front of big box stores asking for donations.”
Sounded humiliating if anyone asked Knox. Since no one did, he kept his opinion to himself. A legitimate charity was one thing. Panhandling to keep from getting a real job, as he suspected was Donnie’s objective, considering he had no qualms about living off Lorna and her parents gave it a bad name.
“My parents had a couple of dinners and had Donnie come over and give a presentation to see if anyone wanted to contribute,” Lorna said. “Those were a little more successful at bringing in money.”
“Did Donnie ever work odd jobs to support the mission?” Knox asked.
“No,” Lorna confirmed. “His time was better spent organizing missions and studying maps. We made that decision together after talking it through one night early on in our relationship.”
“How fast did your relationship move when you first met?” he asked, going for broke since Lorna was in a talkative mood.
“We met one night and three weeks later he moved into my apartment,” Lorna supplied. Blushing as she smiled.
“I bet he fell hard and fast in love with you,” Knox said, mustering up as much compassion as possible. His heart went out to Lorna because he suspected Donnie was only using her all along. The bastard!
“He claimed it was love at first sight,” she remembered. “He used to write short love poems on my bathroom mirror.”
“Were you in love with him instantly?” Knox asked.
“He was charming,” Lorna said. “I remember being wowed by the attention he gave me, which was like standing in the sun. I fell for that pretty fast. But, no, it wasn’t instant for me.”
If Knox had to guess, Donnie was attentive at first, showering her with love and affection. And then once he got his hooks in her…the true selfish asshole Donnie showed up.
“He used to compliment me all the time,” Lorna added. “He would show up at the end of my shift with a flower that he’d picked while on a walk. He didn’t have money, so he showed affection in different ways. We didn’t do the traditional dinner and movie dating, which was honestly what I liked most about us in the beginning.” She paused. “After a while, though, I did want to be taken out to a restaurant every once in a while. Donnie said he didn’t have money to pay for it and asked what was wrong with going to the grocery store to buy dinner so he could cook? Wasn’t that more romantic?” She paused again. “He would light candles and set up a table on the patio to make it special.”
Knox didn’t ask, but he would put money on the fact Lorna was the one who paid the grocery bill.
Lorna released a string of swear words that would make Knox’s military buddies blush.
“That sonofabitch played me all along, didn’t he?” Lorna asked, coming to the realization the others had already figured out. “I gave him three years of my life and all he wanted to do was use me.”
“He must have cared or he wouldn’t have stayed for three years,” Amy pointed out, but it was obvious she was just being kind as she tried to soften the blow from the reality.
“What else did he say about Amy?” Knox asked, needing to know if she’d been a target all along or if the ‘work for free’ story held water.