7. Chapter 6
Kodi
My lips part in shock as a small gasp leaves me.
A ride? On his Harley?
Has he gone insane?
Last night I gave him my virginity, I gave him my body, he gave me pleasure like no tomorrow. I knew then and there I could become addicted tov him, until he opened his goddamn mouth after the sixth freaking orgasm and told me I was basically ready for others now while still inside me!
He made me feel like a whore, like my mother who had an affair, all because she was bored at home, no screw that, he did call me whore.
“Had your fun now, whore?”
I lock my jaw at the reminder, and the urge to punch him hits so hard that I even fist my hand.
“You called me a whore last night, after I gave you my virginity!” I remind him with a bite, “Why in the hell would I go anywhere near you, let alone on the back of your bike, that you know, is reserved for old ladies?!”
Knuckles blinks but doesn’t answer me, his whole body tense, and I furrow my brows before realization hits me.
Holy… He didn’t even mean to ask me to go for a ride with him, did he?
What kind of game is this man playing?
All day, he has been all I can think of, the way he made me feel during and then after going around like a loop in my head. Even sweet little Willow's ballet dance that she just had to show me didn’t even help me get out of my head and Clark noticed that I was off.
I went from a bliss I'd never felt before and confusion to feeling exactly like my mother within seconds, and this man is to blame.
“You can go,” I snap when he just sits there and blinks several times, still in shock at his own words.
I go to move around his Harley, hoping the neighbors don’t tell my father that he was here, but before I can make four steps, his hand grabs mine, stopping me in my tracks while a thousand little electrical shocks rush up my arm and I have to swallow my gasp.
Knuckles squeezes my hand like he can feel the connection too, so I quickly try to pull my hand back, but his grip tightens as he pulls me into him, causing the gasp to escape.
Okay, so I think he may have lost his mind.
“Please get on the bike so we can go somewhere where we can talk where your father won’t shoot my ass,” he whispers, and I pause as my eyes race between his blue ones that yet again have me entranced.
Years, I have managed to stay away from men, for years no one has ever held that appeal to me, I mean, in high school, yeah I was intrigued by him, but I never went near him.
Then well I walked in on my mom being a whore all because she was bored and I suddenly didn’t believe in love, especially when her lover got her killed.
How can he have such a hold on me?
I’m supposed to be this big badass cop, and yet this man brings me to puddles to the point I really want to draw every single feature of his face.
“Please,” he rasps as he pulls me tighter towards him, and dammit, I’m going to give in, aren’t I?
***
I squeeze his waist tighter as he takes the sharp bend faster than I thought he would, and I slam my eyes tight as my body trembles.
We’ve been riding for about an hour, and while yes, it's exciting and freeing to be on the back of his Harley, when he takes the corners hard, I feel like I’m going to fall off.
I feel his hand gently stroking over my left one that is clutching his shirt as he straightens the bike. I open my eyes again to see trees whipping by us, and I relax slightly again.
I can understand why people like riding, I really can, because I’m getting the same feeling that I get when I draw – freedom.
I go to close my eyes again and just enjoy the ride, not caring when we’ll get to wherever he’s taking us, but quickly open them when he stops at the side of the road, and my eyes widen seeing nothing but darkness surrounding us.
Oh god, he’s going to leave me here, isn’t he?
Was this his plan all along?
I feel him gently rub my hand before he pulls them away from his, and ever so slowly, Knuckles climbs off his bike. I look at him with shock and a hell of a lot of confusion.
Okay so he’s not leaving me here…
He eyes me sitting on his bike before he nods his head like he’s realized something, and he points out, “You relaxed.”
I swallow hard and look at the bike before I look back at Knuckles, and I admit, “It gives you the same feeling that I get when I’m drawing or painting.”
He half smiles that makes my heart flutter before he nods to the handlebars and says, “Scoot forward,” and I swear my mouth has just dropped to the floor.
“You’ve got to be kidding?” I choke, and he just smirks, and instantly I’m shaking my head and say, “Not even twenty-four hours ago you were calling me a whore, I am not scooting forward and riding your bike.”
“You will, and you are, and you’re not a whore, I said that shit outta anger now move forward before I make you move forward,” he states, and I narrow my eyes.
This man is confusing as hell.
“I’d like to see you try! I’ve told you once, I’ll tell you again, I know how to fight,” I snap, and the jerk just smirks wider.
I open my mouth to rain hell on his ass, but he moves quickly before I even have a chance to react.
One moment, he’s pissing me off, and the next, he’s behind me, shoving my whole body forward, making me gasp and grip the tank before I fall off, and then he’s climbing onto the back of his bike.
I gasp and go to climb off, but again, the man who can run circles around men in the ring catches my hands and places them on the handlebars, and my breathing quickens.
Whether that is because of his closeness or because he wants me to take control of his bike, I don’t know but either way the man has the lost his mind.
“I-I don’t know how to ride a motorcycle, Knuckles,” I choke, seeing he won’t let up each time I try to remove my hands, and he squeezes them in support before I feel his breath against my ear that sends shivers down my spine.
“I’ll keep control of the bike, I just want you to feel the freedom from the front, and when I feel like you can ride without my support, I’ll let go. You’ve got this, fireball,” he murmurs, and I swallow hard.
“Why do you call me that?” I try to stall, and his chest rumbles against my back as he chuckles, and I realize I love that feeling.
Crap, I want to lean back into him.
“Because you’re ambitious and very feisty, especially where I am concerned. You have a heart, Kodi. I’ve seen it, but you can also kick ass when needed. Now stop stalling and turn the ignition,” he murmurs, and I swallow yet again.
My head is telling me to tell him to piss off, but my body, which seems to be in tune with him, turns the ignition with the help of his hand that doesn’t let the top of mine go, and the machine rumbles beneath us.
Oh god, this is really happening.
“Okay, I’m going to throw the kickstand back,” he mutters before doing as he said, and I gasp, feeling how heavy the machine is, making him chuckle.
“The front brake lever is here,” he mutters as he shows me using his hand over mine on the right of the right handlebar, “and the rear brake, is down here, on the right footpeg,” I nod so he knows I’m following and he mutters, “Good girl,” and my clit pulses as I shiver because okay wow but ignoring my reaction to his words, he explains, “The front left foot peg is your gears,” I look down and nod to see where his foot is, “The shift pattern is sequential, push down for first gear, and click up for second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth gears. Neutral is a half-click up from first. You still with me?”
“I am, but uh, are you sure about this?” I stutter.
“Yes,” he says seriously, “now, gradually release the clutch to the friction zone while gently applying throttle, I will ensure the bike is balanced until I think you are ready to take control of the machine but head towards the overview,” I feel him kiss my head that has my heart fluttering yet again, “Start in first gear, and use the friction zone to smoothly move forward for a few feet before fully releasing the clutch.”
Taking a shuddering breath, I do as he said and pray I don’t wreck his very expensive bike.
***
“Alright, I want you to put pressure on both the front and rear brakes together smoothly and keeping the bike upright and straight and then pull in the clutch as you slow down, downshift to first gear, and use your left foot to support the bike when you stop while holding the rear brake,” Knuckles says against my ear forty minutes later as I pull up near the bench overlooking the town and I do as he says all while my hands shake.
Five minutes, that is how long he kept hold of the bike before making me take control, and I swear I nearly crashed the bike.
As soon as I come to a stop, Knuckles moves one hand from around my waist and switches the ignition while keeping the other firmly around me to stop me from climbing off, and he puts the kickstand down.
“What do you think?” he asks as quietness takes over, and I swallow the lump forming as I lean my back against his front and look over all the lights shining in the distance.
“Scary, petrifying and liberating,” I admit quietly and he hums as he gently kisses behind my ear and quietness takes over again as he rubs his thumb along my waist, his other arm holding me tightly to him.
Even though I’m confused why he let me get on his bike to begin with, let alone ride it, I don’t say anything because dammit, this is the most relaxed I have felt in years.
“I don’t know how to be a good man,” Knuckles says after five minutes of view watching, “I can get very angry and I struggle to control myself. I don’t think I’ll ever get married or claim a woman as mine in the eyes of the club because I don’t believe in the brotherhood.”
I suck in a surprised breath, but don’t say anything, even though I want to question why he’s telling me this, instead, I listen.
“I have this urge to be around you, I can’t stop thinking about you and it pisses me off because I never wanted anyone before,” he rasps against my ear, “Now, I can’t promise you a ring or a family, I can’t promise you the world because, baby, I am fucked up but I also can’t walk away from whatever this is. ”
I look at the view and blink a few times before I ask quietly, “So you what? You want a friends with benefits type of thing?”
“No,” he instantly says, and I swallow the relief that wants to come out, but I tense when he says, “We’re not friends,” then he kisses behind my ear before he admits, “I could never be your friend because of the connection I feel towards you, a connection that scares the living shit outta me. I want to see where this can go without others involved. We’ll meet up, we’ll talk, we’ll probably fuck because together we’re fucking amazing,” I half smile at that, “But we'll see if a relationship could be on the cards, or if I’m too fucked up for it and you would be better off with someone else.”
Is now the right time to tell him I never wanted to get married? That my mother screwed me up as well, that she willingly allowed her lover to threaten to rape me if I didn’t keep my mouth shut about her affair?
I open my mouth to tell him that, but I clamp it shut when he mutters, “We don’t kiss, we fuck, and we see where this could go. Kissing can lead to confusion, and I want to be open-minded. I want to make sure I won’t ruin your life.”
Well damn.
I turn my head to look up at him, and he cups my cheek as our eyes lock, his amazing, piercing blue ones always sucking me in.
I never wanted a man, yet I want him, and it’s scary, but can I agree to basically be his little secret until he’s ready to figure out we could be together, or not? Or am I better off to just keep doing what I was doing and be alone?
“What do you say?” he rasps as he rubs his nose against mine, then moves his head so he can press his lips against my cheek, and I close my eyes as he asks, “You want to try and see if we can be something?”
Do I?