21. Chapter 20
Knuckles – A Week Later
I squeeze my girl's hand as I place it to my lips, keeping it there as the beeping sounds that surround me, soothe me, telling me she’s breathing, she’s still with me.
Seven fucking days and I haven’t seen my girl's beautiful hazel eyes, since I’ve heard her voice. Seven days and I’ve barely slept, barely eaten.
I was discharged four days ago, but instead of going home, where I know the club will bombard me, I’ve camped out in my girls' room, refusing to leave.
Crash has taken over the gym for me while checking on me every night, dodging his girl who apparently lost it and accused him of having an affair with Kodi because he’s been here so much.
My dad stays several hours a day even when I don’t speak to him, and slowly, one by one every club brother has come and spent a few hours in this room, refusing to let me go this alone.
Fuck, even Striker of all people and don’t get me started on the continuous messages from my fucking mother begging me to answer my phone because she heard what happened and that Cage refuses for her to come to the hospital.
I don’t know how to feel about it all, feel about them making an effort, feel about the concern that in my eyes seems fake from my mother.
Right now all I can focus on is the fact that my girl still isn’t awake.
My girl who has my name tattooed down the side of her ring finger that I didn’t know about.
I gently run my finger over the ink. She had the tube removed two days ago, and Trick weaned her off her medications, yet she still hasn’t woken up, and it isn’t looking good.
“She’ll wake, son,” my dad whispers from behind me, and I shake my head and look at my girl, her face still bruised.
I feel like I can’t breathe without her. I need her to wake up.
“If she doesn’t, then I will be following her,” I admit, and Dad sucks in a breath, but I don’t look at him, needing to keep my eyes on my girl, “For years, I refused to have a relationship, fuck, I was still a virgin when I met Kodi, but I knew she was mine and vice versa. I took her virginity while she took mine, and even though I was in denial, I knew I was going to make her mine. I just couldn’t claim her. ”
“Why?” my dad asks, and I sniff hard.
“Because I don’t know if I can stay in the club,” I admit, and he sucks in another breath just as Trick and Cage walk in, and I know they heard me because the fuckers freeze.
“You’re not leaving the club,” Cage grunts, “If I couldn’t, then you can’t!”
“It won’t matter if she dies,” I whisper as I eye my girl's face, “Because if she does, then I’ll be following her.”
“She won’t die, she won’t leave you, Liam!” Trick snaps and I look his way, showing him my red, tired eyes that make him flinch.
“Then why hasn’t she woken up yet?” I ask with a croak, and he flinches again.
“I don’t know, medically speaking, she should have woken up two days ago. She has brain activity, and she can breathe on her own, so I don’t know,” he whispers, and a few tears fall down my cheeks as I look back at my girl.
“I never should have ghosted her for two days, I should have moved her in with me, I should have… Fuck,” I rasp as I drop my head and allow a sob to release.
The men got away, except for two of the Chargers, who, according to Crash, sang like canaries when Crusher questioned them in our torture chamber.
Apparently, Masters paid them a hefty sum of cash to do his bidding and promised to help release his heir leader, Cans, by using my girl if they helped him steal her.
The fucker is MIA, even Trick can’t fucking find him.
“You’re not going to lose her,” Cage whispers, “She won’t leave you, you’ve just got to have faith.”
“I lost my faith a very long fucking time ago,” I admit quietly before I kiss my girls hand then lay my head on her bed, keeping a tight hold of her.
“Brother, your stomach,” Trick says, but I ignore him and close my eyes, wishing that when I wake, all this will be a horrible fucking dream.
***
“He needs to go home and get a proper rest,” I hear whispered as I stir from a pitiful sleep, and I squeeze my eyes tight.
Why can’t they all just fuck off?
Why can’t they leave us alone?
“I know, buttercup, but if it were you, I’d be the exact same,” Trick murmurs, and I hear a sniffle.
“I’m worried about him, Miles,” Clark says, and I squeeze my eyes tighter.
“He’ll be okay, baby, he just needs his girl to wake up, and he will be alright,” Trick replies with conviction, and I wish I had his optimism because right now, after a week of watching my girl slowly fade away, I don’t have any.
“I need my friend to wake up, Willow needs her auntie,” Clark sniffles and I hear shuffling as I slowly fade into another slumber at their hushed voices, and I squeeze Kodi’s hand tighter.
***
“Why in the fuck does Barbie want to come to the hospital so badly?” Cage asks with a snap, and I slowly blink, my eyes going to my girl, who is still in the same position and ignoring whoever else is in the room. I close my eyes again, not willing to be awake when she isn’t.
“I don’t know, but I’ve told her she can fuck off,” Trick replies, “She tried using the ‘she’s his mother’ shit, and I can see it, I see she loves him somewhere deep inside, but the woman fucking abused him because his dad didn’t claim her and his dad barely paid attention to him. What the fuck did she expect?”
“We still need to kick her out,” Cage grunts, “The woman isn’t to be allowed in the club when he finally returns home, and he will with his girl as soon as the stubborn woman wakes up and preferably before Clark attacks another club bunny.”
I frown a little but don’t open my eyes.
Clark attacked a club bunny?
The last time was when Cage was put away. One of the club bunnies said shit about fucking him, and his sister lost it, causing Clark to get involved.
“Honey said as soon as Kodi is pronounced dead, then she’s going to attach herself to Knuckles, to use his grief against him for his cut, she was bound to lose it, Cage,” Trick replies, and I try my hardest not to snort.
Why does it not surprise me that word got out about my relationship with Kodi?
“I know, it’s why she’s been put on probation until Knuckles comes home and decides what he wants to do about her. The choice is his, and every club brother has agreed. We just need him to come home,” Cage grunts, and I squeeze Kodi’s hand.
I don’t give a fuck about Honey, I just want my girl back.
“He’s been in and out of consciousness all fucking day since he admitted to maybe wanting to leave the club.
I want to bring it up, to deny him, to tell him he’s fucking family but the man is barely sleeping as it is,” Trick mutters and Cage replies, “He’s not going to leave the club, we won’t allow him, fuck, Kodi won’t allow him. ”
I hear a door open before Trick snaps, “Belle, you are on probation, you are not supposed to be on this ward!”
“But she –”
Cage cuts her off, “Don’t try saying she’s your friend, especially when she’s been in here for a week already, and this is the first time you’re coming to see her after you blamed her for missing Tricks wedding.
Clark has been here every day holding her hand, begging her friend to wake up!
You just want to make sure Crash isn’t in here again, and you need to leave. ”
“You can’t stop me from visiting my friend, and I will be speaking to Crash about this because I don’t deserve this. I made a mistake!” she snaps with a sob just as the door shuts.
“Yeah, stabbing me with a needle and still being aloof with your best friend kind of mistake,” Trick mutters, and Cage snorts, “She needs to get her act together before she loses Crash,” just as their voices fade and I fall back to sleep.
***
“Dad?” I hear, and I blink again and again, but my girl is still not awake, so I close my eyes.
“What?” I hear the Chief snap back, his voice tense.
The man, like my father, has been in and out of this room, and every time I ignore the fucker, just like I’m going to right now, because if I speak to him, then I’ll fucking kill him.
I just need confirmation from my girl first that he was the one to backhand her. I need her to wake up.
“You’ve been in here for two hours, you need to give Knuckles some space with her,” Benny replies softly, and the man growls.
“I lost your mother all because she fucked that jackass Cans behind my back. I refused to release him from prison, and that was after they both had threatened to have my daughter raped if she told me at six-fucking-teen. I can’t leave this room, I can’t lose your sister, especially knowing this is all my fault!
” he grunts back, and I swallow back my growl.
“Dad,” Benny sighs, “you can’t change the past. Mom wanted the attention, and she went to the wrong fucking person for it and put my sister in danger. But she’s gone now, and we need to focus on Kodi, and right now, I’m hoping if it is just Knuckles in here then she might wake up, come on…”
Ignoring the pain in my stomach, the aches in my face, I squeeze my eyes tight and allow myself to fade again, and their voices disappear, whether that’s because they’ve left or because I’m allowing sleep to take me again, I don’t fucking care.
Questions of my girl's childhood float around in my head, and I nod off wishing, fucking wishing that she’d wake up.