Chapter Eighteen
Janessa
S ITTING IN THE cabin , waiting for Knuckles to get back from seeing his foster sister, I finish nursing Kaden and burp him while staring out the front window of my temporary home.
For some reason I’ve got a horrible feeling deep in my gut and I know without anyone telling me that something is wrong.
I’m not sure who is hurt or what’s going on, but something has definitely happened.
My first thought is Knuckles because honestly he should’ve been home at least an hour ago or so.
Knuckles and Mallory went out for lunch and were going to catch up.
I figured he’d be gone for two or three hours at most. Now, it’s getting dark outside and I have to start cooking dinner.
Knuckles didn’t care what we had when I asked him this morning so I thought I’d make homemade pizza.
My brothers are still in Frostford. Right now, they’re currently at the clubhouse having a drink with some of the guys.
They actually love hanging out with the men of the club and don’t touch the Slayer Slits when they’re here.
Especially now that they’re all in relationships and from the phone conversations I’ve had, their women are great.
I love all three of them and can’t wait to meet them in person.
However, I won’t let them get hurt with Roger’s parents still in town.
I have no clue if they’ll follow me to wherever I go so it puts meeting anyone close to my family out of the question.
This is the worst part of my entire situation if you ask me.
I couldn’t care less what happens to me when it comes to them since they’ve already put me through so much.
Kaden is my priority when it comes to being protected and everyone else important in my life comes after him.
Marie was here earlier to visit with me.
She watched Kaden so I could take a shower and take a nap.
I’m exhausted and I know Knuckles has been trying to let me sleep in throughout the night, but it’s still not enough.
Throughout the day and night I work, take care of Kaden, and do everything else I have to do to take care of my small family.
There isn’t enough time in the day to truly take care of myself and practice any kind of self-care.
Marie ordered me to take a shower before soaking in a hot bath with some music and candles in the room.
I was more than happy to follow her orders today because there wasn’t anything else I wanted to do.
By the time I got out of the tub, Marie had my cabin cleaned, Kaden was sleeping again, and she was pulling out what I needed for the homemade pizza.
She wants to try some once it’s done so I plan on making a few extra for the guys in the club.
If I know them as well as I do, they’ll want some.
Marie knows what I plan on doing and won’t let the ol’ ladies or Slit Slayers make anything for dinner today.
I’m happy she’s on board with my plan because I’ve truly missed cooking for a large group of people.
Now, the sun is disappearing and Knuckles is still nowhere around.
He wouldn’t enter the compound again without letting me know he was going to hang out at the clubhouse for a while.
Every single day he lets me know what he’s doing and where he is.
I get multiple calls and messages throughout the day as well.
Mostly it’s for him to check on me and make sure no one’s paid me any surprise visits at the office or if I go out for lunch.
Looking down, I find Kaden asleep on my shoulder.
His little mouth is hanging open slightly and his fist is under his cheek.
He’s so innocent and pure and I make a silent promise every single day to love and protect him until he can stand on his own and not have to rely on anyone else for his protection.
Knuckles has already told me he plans on getting our son in the gym as soon as he possibly can.
He wants him to learn self-defense, fighting, kickboxing, and everything else Kaden is interested in.
I won’t stand in his way because I personally feel it’s the best thing for our boy.
For any children we have in the future. Yes, I want more kids and I can only hope Knuckles feels the same way.
Standing up, I place my son in the bassinet in the living room.
Once I’m sure he won’t wake up again, I make my way to the kitchen so I can start working on the dough of the pizza.
That’s going to take me the longest to prepare since I already have the pizza sauce and various toppings for the pizzas.
I want to make a meat lovers for myself because it’s been so long since I’ve had one.
It’s also Aaron’s favorite of my pizzas and he can devour an entire one by himself in a matter of minutes if I let him.
Joseph loves the supreme pizza with everything I can think of on it.
Daniel either wants a plain cheese pizza or one with chicken on it.
Not the buffalo chicken pizza or whatever.
He simply likes grilled chicken slices on his pizza and I can’t argue with him.
It's better than I thought it would be. Yes, he forced me to try some the last time I made the pizza for us. Now I just need to learn what Knuckles’ favorite pizza is so I can make one for him when he wants.
Washing my hands, I turn on my music softly so it doesn’t wake my son up and start dancing around the kitchen while mixing the dough.
This is the most I’ve ever made at one time because I’m not just feeding my brothers—I’m feeding an entire club of men who can eat more than the average human.
These guys can easily eat a full pizza to themselves and probably still want more.
So, I figure I’ll have to make a few dozen pizzas today just for everyone to get a slice or two.
Marie is thinking about making wings and garlic bread in the clubhouse for everyone including me.
I won’t eat the wings, but I know Knuckles likes them.
It doesn’t matter what flavor they are, he’ll eat them and still want more.
***
I ’ve cooked almost every pizza I’ve prepared today.
Eric and Kurt are here to take them all to the clubhouse while delivering the wings and garlic bread to me from Marie.
The last ones I have to put in the oven are the ones for Knuckles and myself.
My brothers’ pizzas are even cooked and cooling on the counter while I wait for them to get back to the cabin.
I’m surprised they’ve been gone so long if I’m being honest. As usual, they tend not to stray too far from my son and still spoil him rotten when they’re around him.
Today is the first day since they got back in town they’ve been gone so long.
It only makes the feeling deep in my gut worsen because I know the information I’ll eventually get won’t be good news at all.
“Baby Sis,” Joseph calls out, his voice just above a whisper so he doesn’t wake up Kaden if he’s sleeping. “It smells like fucking heaven in here. You’ve made your pizza and my mouth has been watering since Marie told everyone at the clubhouse that’s what they were having for dinner.”
“I hope you’re all hungry. I’ve made so many pizzas today I think it will be a very long time before I make them again.
So, you better savor this meal and don’t beg me in the future for it again,” I state, my voice full of laughter so they know I’m joking.
There isn’t anything I won’t do for my brothers and they all know it.
“We’re starving,” Aaron says, a smirk on his face as he walks up to me and wraps his arms around my shoulders. “You always take such good care of us, Nessa. How did we get lucky to have you as our sister?”
Looking up at my younger brothers, I immediately know something is wrong.
There’s a rage and wariness in his eyes Aaron doesn’t typically have.
He’s my lighthearted brother who is the life of the party.
Right now, he’s trying to hide something from me.
Something huge if I had to guess. While I could push him, I know that’s not always the answer when the three of them are together.
Daniel and Joseph can always ensure Aaron doesn’t tell me things when they don’t agree with me knowing something that’s going on around me.
It’s their way of protecting me and I’ve gotten used to it over the years.
“I’m the lucky one. You’ve all always been there for me no matter what’s going on in my life.
If only I’d listened to you when I first met Roger.
The three of you knew he was no good and now so many people are suffering because of that abusive snake and his parents.
They’ve turned people against us and done everything in their power to ruin me.
I won’t know a day of peace until they’re finally dealt with once and for all.
Plus I have those bikers after me. So, what’s going on at the clubhouse?
” I ask them, hoping they’ll slip up and let me know what’s going on instead of waiting until they feel it’s the right time to share information with me.
“Nothing. We were just hanging out with the guys. Had a drink and played a few games of pool. Then we just hung out until the Prospects started bringing in the pizza. That’s when we made our way back over here to be with you,” Daniel answers, not quite looking me in the eyes.
“What’s going on?” I finally question them as the three of them surround me in the kitchen. “I know you’re hiding something from me and I want to know what it is. I’ve had a horrible gut feeling all day long and it’s only getting worse.”
“You always follow your gut instinct,” Aaron says, pulling me in closer to his body and holding me close.
“We heard some shit while we were at the clubhouse,” Daniel starts, his voice hesitant and full of worry as Joseph and him move closer.